My Two Wives
happyhugo
Romance, Cheating
21,558
Copyright (C) 05/21/09
Readers score 6.54
Man is married and then divorced when
wife cheats. Years later and married to another,
he and his ex-wife are thrown together.
Story of how two families deal with issues.
Starts in Brattleboro, Vt and moves West.
Seventh grade, that magical and fearful time when you moved up to associate with the bigger kids--yes and meet some bullies too. Over the summer vacation you found out that girls weren’t such a bad thing to have around either. When you found your home room you looked around for kids like you who looked interesting. My eyes came to rest on a little dark-haired girl with pigtails, three seats over on my right and two seats down. I could watch her from where I sat and she would never know. Gee I wonder what it would be like to kiss her.
She was a feisty little thing and that brought her trouble. A couple of eighth grade kids cornered her in the hall. “Oh my, look at pigtails. Bucky, you grab her tight and I’ll just give her a little kiss.”
“You do that and I’ll slap you so hard you won’t wake up for a week.”
“Oh, ho, I was kidding, but you’re really going to get kissed now. You hold her tight Bucky, I don’t want to go to sleep for a week.”
Bucky was following directions when I barreled into him, tipping him off his feet. The other kid (I never knew his name) grabbed me, pinning my arms to my side. Bucky said, “What ja’ do that for?”
“That’s my girl, you leave her alone!” I wasn’t very big, but I wasn’t going to let this happen to somebody I wanted to kiss. I looked as fierce as I could.
“Okay, okay, we were just fooling. Who’d want to kiss somebody in pigtails anyway?” They let me go and went off down the hall laughing.
I hardly dared look at the girl I had stuck my foot in my mouth for. My face was pink and then turned red when she started telling me how wonderful I was. Walking toward home room, she shyly asked me where I lived. I told her and we discovered we lived only a couple of streets apart. Her family had just moved here so her father could work at the Cummins Factory that made cleaning and lighter fluid. You know (Keep it clean with Energine).
I thought I was being bold when I asked if I could carry her books and walk her home after school.
“Oh, yes, that would be fun!” She was quiet until just before we entered home room and said, “I don’t kiss boys yet, but when I do you will be my first.” I was bound to this person, forever I hoped.
Gina and I were sweethearts all through Junior High. High School brought its own challenges but we remained constant. I was usually there to walk her home after school unless school activities prevented or interfered.
We did the school dances and blowouts and went to the sports games together. Everyone knew we were a couple, and not many kids tried to come between us. We had a lot of friends and were comfortable having activities the other didn’t participate in. I knew she was for me and she felt the same.
The summer we were Juniors almost ended it. We used to hitch-hike up to Williamsville to the swimming hole. You went down a steep hill, and down some more to the river bank. There was a huge deep swimming hole that was always populated since it was well known and had been for generations. Across the river there was a twenty foot cliff to dive from. If the diver was real daring there was a tree you could climb that added another ten feet to the total height.
Gina and I had been there all afternoon and we decided one more trip across would be about it. Swimming over under the cliff Gina turned and pushed away from the rock when someone jumped from the top. He hit her a glancing blow and drove her under. I waited for her to come up. She didn’t immediately so I dove down looking for her.
Gina was at least six feet down when I grabbed her arm and pulled her to the surface. I shouted for help and some other swimmers got us out and across the river onto the bank. I was in the boy scouts until I had lost interest the year before. Thank God I stayed long enough to learn artificial respiration. I got the credit for saving her life, although there were others that could have done as well.
We knew we would graduate, get married, start a family and remain happy ever after, just like our parents. College was not an option for either of us. My Dad worked at Churches (The Best Seat In The House) making wooden toilet seats and Gina’s father worked at the Energine factory. Our mothers kept house and saw that the family was clean, fed, and clothed the best they could with the money earned in the factories.
We planned our life before we finished school. Gina would be a telephone operator and I (Gordy Benson) would become a telephone lineman for the New England Telephone Company. This was one of the most stable companies to work for in our town. Eventually the pay would be good if you worked there long enough. The Korean War was being waged, so I knew sometime in the future I would be drafted, but that was far ahead and being young like we were, we didn’t worry too much.
When we graduated, Gina immediately was employed, but there was a waiting list for men wanting to work for the phone company. It took five months before my name reached the top of the list and I was called to come in for an interview. I was nervous, mostly because I wanted the job so badly and to work at the same place Gina did. I guess I didn’t impress Personnel when they interviewed me, but I started as a temporary hire and was put on probation for a period of three months.
I set about learning the job with a vengeance. I ran my ass off, and any free time I asked questions and read repair manuals and all of the technical information I could find. At the end of the three month temporary period I was employed full time. Gina and I were married before the year was out. Both of us were working at steady jobs now and ready to begin our time together down life’s highway.
We settled into a three-room furnished apartment. It was small and this was before there was television for the masses. This was back in the nineteen-fifties and being a telephone operator was a pretty boring job. I didn’t see it because I was involved in being the best I could be and wanting to be more than just a lineman. Our first major purchase was a 1935 Ford coupe. It was almost twenty years old, but it was in great shape and I loved that car almost as much as I did Gina. At least that is what I kidded her about.
I was studying correspondence courses on wiring at night. I signed up through the mail and the phone company even paid some of the cost. Gina, bored during the day and with nothing to stimulate her in the evenings, asked if it was okay to go out with the girls one night during the week. Knowing that I didn’t want her to feel obligated to hang around with me while I studied, I said, “Sure, have fun.”
Gina knew that my studying so hard was for her. If I could get a promotion, then she could quit and we could start a family. Our main entertainment was to go riding the back roads in our little car. Saturday afternoon we took trips and we took longer ones on Sunday. Saturday nights we usually went out with friends. The age to buy alcohol here in Vermont was twenty-one, but liquor was readily found, especially if store owners knew you and you could keep your mouth shut. Once in a while we would travel the forty-five miles to New York where the legal age was 18.
Gina was something! She sparkled all the time. It didn’t matter who she was with, she was just a joy to be around. Me, well I was kind of quiet and was satisfied to watch my wife having fun and enjoying herself. When she had a couple of beers in her, she was the life of the party. I suppose being bored on the job and bored staying home while I studied made her break loose and have fun when she went out.
Summertime, the year we were twenty, we went across the line to New York to buy beer and dance at the Bloody Bucket. Usually a few of our crowd would be there and sometimes more than a few. Quite often there would be three or four vehicles, including our little two-seater coupe traveling west.
I was young and I knew that I could drive just as well drunk as I could sober. And if I was drunk, I swore maybe I could drive even better. It was a hot August night, the music was loud and I sat watching Gina dance, sipping all the while on the beer that seemed to keep coming my way. All my life I never distrusted Gina. She never gave me any reason to and I had saved her life hadn’t I? This night it did seem like she was a little more friendly with a couple of guys. I mentioned it to her, not criticizing, just making a comment. She said she could control them and besides they were a lot of fun. She said she had met them somewhere before on her night out with the girls.
When it was time to head east toward home, I could hardly stand up. I argued that I was not too drunk to drive and got behind the wheel. When Gina, upset over losing the argument, got into the car, I backed up and into a sign post at the edge of the parking lot. I staggered out and looked at the damage. There was no damage to the post I had backed into, but my car fender and bumper were crumpled.
I gave up and admitted I was in no shape to drive. The two guys that had been paying attention to Gina offered to drive my car home for me and the other would follow with Gina. They lived south of us in Massachusetts so it wouldn’t be out of their way.
What was I to do? If I wanted to get me and Gina home, this seemed in my befuddled mind to be the only way. I remember getting into my car with one of the strangers sliding into the driver’s seat. That was it, that is all that I remember.
***************
Have you ever been hung over--bad, real bad? I roused up as I laid on the couch in my living room. I felt like I could die! Then I heard the toilet flush. Good, Gina is awake and can make me coffee. The bathroom door opened and I was waiting for Gina to say something. Then I realized the footsteps were going by me and I partially opened my eyes. At first I couldn’t figure out who was opening the front door to go out. Then it came to me that this was the guy that drove me home last night.
Then I heard the bedroom door open and someone go into the bathroom. Again I heard the toilet flush, the door opened and another guy tip-toed by the couch. A car engine started out front of our apartment and I heard it go down the street. Where was Gina? If she was in the bedroom , then my life was over. Dumb-ass, I got drunk last night and didn't watch out for my wife. I didn't know I had too, but it was too late now!
“Don’t blame yourself Gina. I should have stayed sober.” Then I asked, “They didn’t hurt you did they?” Gina shook her head no. “Do you want to tell me about it?” She shook her head again. I moved towards her to give her a hug.
“Don’t touch me. I’m dirty.” Now the tears came. They didn’t just trickle down her cheeks, they flowed along with her great wracking sobs. “I’m going to take a bath.”
The day got no better for either of us. Gina was in the tub more than an hour. I blamed myself and Gina blamed herself. Not once did I criticize her. Finally with her head bent so she wouldn’t have to look at me she said, “I've met these guys a couple of times before. They always acted nice and never bothered me. I thought I could handle their flirting. They started more than just flirting when we brought you into the house. Then they started grabbing and pulling my clothes off me. I kept saying no until they had my clothes most off. I just didn’t think this could happen.
“I kept drinking when it was offered on the way home, so I was pretty drunk by the time we got here together and they started pawing me. It got to the point where I didn’t stop them or maybe I didn’t want to stop them. It happened then.”
“How come they were still here this morning?”
“They went to sleep, I guess. It was late anyway. We didn’t leave New York until the bar closed at two. It was nearly four before they got you into the house. They probably didn’t sleep more than an hour.”
I looked at the clock. They must have messed with my wife for two hours or more. Why in hell did I get drunk last night? “Do you want to report this as a rape?”
“No, you can’t. Too many people saw me get in the car with one of them. Nobody would believe me.” I agreed with her.
This was Sunday. I asked Gina if she wanted to go for our usual ride. She didn’t, especially with the car dented up like it was. I went out and looked at it. It needed a new bumper and some body work, but other than that it could be driven. I called a buddy that worked in an auto-body shop over on Spring Street. I asked if he would have the shop owner look for a new or used bumper and make an appointment to hammer out the fender.
Bed time was difficult. Gina acted like she didn’t want me to look at her or touch her. I wanted to hold her and tell her how sorry I was. We hadn’t touched before this today and I didn’t know how to approach her. She kept saying she was dirty and unclean and to keep away from her.
Monday she called in sick. This was highly unusual for her. She said she was going to see her mother and father and probably would be there all day.
My buddy picked the car up and a used bumper was installed. The shop just hammered the fender into shape temporarily and replaced the blown light bulbs in the tail light. I could have the final repair done when the paint shop wasn’t so busy.
I couldn’t concentrate at work and I don’t know how I made it until quitting time. Gina didn’t eat but little that night. She seemed more and more depressed as time went on.
In bed that night, I rolled over and tried to hold her. Again she acted like she wanted to get away from me. “Can we try and make love? We have to get over this and put it behind us.” I was hoping that the closer we were, a spark might be struck and things would return to being more normal.
We tried for sex, but I wasn’t up to the task. This had never happened to me before. I tried to talk about it, but that just made it worse. Finally I turned away from her. Neither one of us slept much that night.
Gina quit her job the next day without telling me. She was spending most of her time with her folks. I finally decided to tell my parents that we were having some problems. Mother couldn’t at first believe our rift was serious. Gina and I had been a couple now for eight years and nobody would believe we could have trouble.
The next Sunday I finally was able to finish what I had started a few days before in bed. I wish I had given it more time, because Gina ended up sobbing and pulling away from me as soon as she could. It was a dark time for me and it was about to get worse.
Wednesday night, Gina was waiting when I came in the door. There was no supper on the table. She led me in and we sat on the couch.
“Gordy, this isn’t working and I don’t know if it will ever again. I called my aunt out in California. I want to go out and stay with her awhile. I’ve failed you, so please let me go. I don’t see how you can even stand to be near me. We are just tearing ourselves apart and it isn’t even your fault. You have saved me so many times, but this time you can’t.”
I could see it was useless to argue with her, so I went on to more pertinent things. “What do you need?”
“Do we have any money? I need about two hundred dollars.”
“We don’t have it now, but I can get it by tomorrow night. When are you leaving?”
“Saturday morning. Dad is taking me to Albany and I am flying out of there.” Gina was crying and I was too. How could I fight for her when I could see that her mind was already made up.
"Gordy, I’m going over to Dad and Mom’s now. Would you bring what money you can scrape up over there?”
“This sounds like a goodbye. Am I going to see you again before you leave?”
“No, Gordy. I can’t bear to face you anymore. I just have made too big a mess of things.”
“I’m not blaming you, I’m blaming myself. You didn’t make any mistakes. I did when I got drunk. Please can’t you forgive me and stay with me?”
“Let me go, Gordy please.” Gina was begging now so I let her go, tears streaming down my face.
We were just starting out in life together and hadn’t saved any money, but I was willing to sacrifice the only thing that was of any value to me, besides her of course--my car. One of the supervisors for the phone company had promised me one hundred-seventy-five dollars any time I would hand him the keys. The keys were turned over and even though it was a day early I asked for my paycheck. I was able to hand two hundred twenty-seven dollars through the door to Gina’s Mom Thursday night.
Friday night late, I felt Gina crawl into bed with me. She came back and I was so happy! I held her and we made love. The most gentle love and the most satisfying we had ever had. I went to sleep knowing she was beside me.
Morning found my bed empty, a tear-soaked pillow beside mine. This time I knew she was really gone and quite possibly for good. The Fifties--if you had sex with someone other than your husband or wife, you divorced or were expected to. My wife was gone and my life was empty.
***************
I didn’t hear from Gina again. Three weeks later I was served the divorce papers. The Thursday before she left Gina had hired an attorney to do the processing. I was very upset because I thought the money from the car had been used to keep us together, not to hire someone to split us apart.
I went over and stormed at Gina’s parents. They calmed me down and said they were sorry, but Gina had insisted on the divorce. What could my father-in-law do when Gina said she had wounded me beyond repair? She just wanted to set me free to make up for it.
The same day it was confirmed she wanted a divorce, Uncle Sam sent me Greetings and said he would provide me with pay, food and clothes and teach me all kind of useful things. You know, like how to use a rifle and crawl around in the mud. I didn’t have any choice, so using the thirty days granted for taking care of my affairs, I put what was left of my life in order.
Washing dishes is a great job in the Army. I did my share at Fort Devens the week I was there. Then the Army put me on an old DC-6 and flew me out to Fort Lewis, Washington for basic training. I was one of the lucky ones with my work history for the telephone company. I escaped being a cook or rifleman because they needed to fill some slots in the Signal Corps.
I still had to do the first eight weeks of basic to learn about all that shooting and stuff. My next eight weeks had basic use of communications used in the service. Then some six weeks of really serious specialized training, put me within a stone’s throw of the Demilitarized Zone between North and South Korea.
The truce ending the police action had been signed the year before at Panmunjom, but you never knew when those Yellow Bastards would break out with another round of fighting. Advancement came my way pretty rapidly. Communications were the most important part of the surveillance, now that the fighting had ceased.
I was advancing rapidly in pay grades. I went from seventy-eight dollars a month when I was inducted up the scale until my rank reached Master Sergeant. Having nothing to go home to, I even debated staying in for twenty, but then when my tour was almost up, I got homesick. Sixteen months in this crappy country was enough.
I laid over for three weeks in Fort Lewis before I mustered out at Camp Kilmer in New Jersey. I had no particular duties while at the fort. Often times I didn’t even make reveille.
I traveled to Seattle several times to see the sights while waiting to cross the country to muster out. The city was pretty lively with all the soldiers and navy personnel stationed near there. I much preferred the city of Olympia for a place to kill time in since it was quiet and much more beautiful than Seattle.
Then I got the surprise and shock of my life. I was wandering down the main avenue where the fine restaurants and dining clubs were located. Ahead of me about a hundred feet I saw a limousine pull to the curb and a driver get out and wait for a couple to exit a dining club. I was not paying particular attention to the couple, when I heard Gina laugh. I could never forget her laugh for I had often caused it to come forth. My head snapped up and I spotted her on the arm of a older gentleman.
My Gina! God, she was beautiful! I used to be married to this vision. I started forward thinking to get her attention. Just then the man said something to her. She looked into his eyes and hugged his arm to her bosom. “Oh, I love you, you’re so good to me,” I heard her say. I turned away and blindly retreated. My dreams about her changed that night.
When I say dreams I meant one reoccurring dream that was with me in times of stress. It usually happened about two in the morning. It was always of Gina and I laughing while whipping around the country roads of Vermont in my little Ford coupe. Loving the ride and each other, the dream got me through loneliness and homesickness as I traveled halfway around the world. Always the two of us were together. This night the dream was the same except--I was alone in the car.
Mustered out and returning home, I was curious about Gina. I went by her parents’ house and found they had sold the house and moved out West somewhere. The new homeowners didn’t know anything about them.
I asked my parents if Gina ever contacted them. The final decree of divorce had been delivered to Mom just as I had directed when I signed the first papers stating I would not contest the divorce. Never a word. Mother didn’t seem upset--Dad did.
Pretty shabby treatment to me and my folks. It seemed to bother Dad a lot more than Mom. My trying to shoulder the blame for getting drunk and letting Gina be messed with, was certainly misplaced. The one good thing that came out of that night was I swore off alcohol. Since that night more than two years ago I had never taken a drink. This was pretty damned good when the United States Army travels on beer sold in its beer halls and PXs.
I put my old life behind me with all the baggage, beginning my new life by picking a good engineering school to attend. I had saved most of my pay. Not that I had been extremely frugal, but I didn’t drink or whore around, so I came home with most of the pay I had received while serving in Korea. Nothing to spend money on over there if you didn’t do the two things I just listed. I was eligible for the GI Bill, too. This paid my tuition and I picked up odd jobs at Radio Shack to pay my board and room. Then in my third year at school I met Kim---Kim, my second love and shortly my wife!
***************
I had the knowledge, a whole lot of experience and I was a little older than most of the guys going out into the workplace. The most trouble I had was choosing the right company to work for and I had several good offers. I guess I picked the right one, because I moved rapidly up the corporate ladder. Along with that success, I had a pretty wife and two kids, a boy and a girl. We also had a nice home in suburbia and two cars in the garage.
Kim was a gem, not really beautiful but attractive. I gave her all my love and she gave it back with interest. She was not interested in politics, but would know both sides of an issue. She made a great corporate wife. Often we had guests in of one sort or another for their stimulating conversation. Everything was typical for our lifestyle, except I never drank alcohol. I was famous for my well-stocked wine cellar, though.
Six years later, with another co-worker, I started a cable television company located in a small Midwest town.
The years passed by--twenty and then twenty-three. I came in from playing golf one day. Kim and I were so attuned to each other that we always picked up on the others thoughts and feelings. “What’s up?”
Kim looked kind of doubtful as how to answer my query, “I had an interesting visitor today. This man claims he needs your help and he is desperate. He is rich and willing to pay. What he wants, though, I don’t think you can put a price on.”
“Well, what does he want?” I was intrigued!
“He wants you to donate one of your kidneys. He thinks there is a tissue match between you and his son. The son is twenty-five and is dying. The boy was in an auto accident and his kidneys are failing. He needs a kidney for him to live. If the transplant is successful, his son will live a full life, otherwise he will die in a couple of months.”
“Jesus Christ, you mean he wants me to give one of my kidneys to an unknown person? Isn’t that asking a bit much? I have been a willing donor and my driver’s license says so, but I thought it was for blood, not one of my organs. At least not while I am alive, anyway.” I stopped and thought, “Why does he think his son and I might be a match? Where did he get my name anyway? This is crazy.”
“He mentioned something about asking the army about you. I don’t know what that would tell him. Ask him, he is coming back this evening.”
“How can someone put me on the spot like this? If I refuse to be checked for a match and the kid dies, I’ll feel like shit. If I agree to a tissue check and it is a match, and I refuse to give him a kidney, I’ll feel even worse.” I looked askance at Kim. “What do you think I should do? What about us? Do you want to live with half a man?”
“Well, you kind of have to talk to him. I said you would. Think about it, what would you do if Jimmy needed a kidney and there was a possibility that a stranger had the key to your kid’s life? Wouldn’t you be as persuasive as possible under the circumstances? That is how I looked at it when he talked to me.”
Kim and I seated George Jenkins in the living room. My two kids, Cheryl eighteen, and Jimmy seventeen, were nearby in the game room. While Kim was in the kitchen, George abruptly got up, walked over and looked at the picture over the fireplace. It was one of me right after I bought my ’35 Ford. In the photo I was standing by the front door facing the camera. There was a look of pride and possession on my face. In the background, the big maple tree that was by Mom’s house was blazoned with fall foliage. George studied it with much interest and then turned to me, “You must have been about twenty when that was taken?”
I said, “Yes, this was a snapshot that I had enlarged. At one time I had several more like it, but my ex-wife was in all of them and I discarded them long before I met Kim.” He came back over and sat down.
“Your wife must have told you what I need. I really am desperate. My son is twenty-five, just starting out in life. He has a fine girl he just became betrothed to and they have just set their wedding date. A few weeks ago, he was coming home from her house in the evening, when another car smashed into him. He was pushed off the highway, rolling his car several times and then flipping it end for end. Rescue had to use the jaws of life to extricate him.
“At first his mother and I didn’t expect him to survive, but he has. The problem is, his kidneys are both damaged. One has been removed already and the other is barely functioning. He has only just so long before that one will fail if he doesn’t get one to replace the one he lost.
“I have been scouring the country and I finally found you through your service records. I am here to beg you to have a tissue sample taken to see if there could be a possible match. In fact, it is almost certain that you are the only one that can do this.”
“I don’t understand? Why are you so certain?”
George opened the folder he was carrying and laid a photograph face down on the coffee table in front of him. “Before you look at this, let me tell you a little bit of history. I know just about everything about you up until you went into the service.
“My wife’s name is Gina and she doesn’t know that I am here. At one time you were married to her. Gina has told me how you fought for her and even saved her life. I guess I am trading on that trait as I love my son and I can’t let him die if there is a chance to save him.
“I know you were married and divorced when you were about twenty. I know Gina left after cheating on you. I know she took every last cent you had and even got your mother to pay for the divorce. What I am sure of, and you are unaware of, the last time you had sex with your wife produced a child.
“You don’t know me, but she and I were married shortly before my son was born so he bears my name. I, of course, claimed him as my son and he doesn’t know about you. He doesn’t even know his mother was married before to someone else.
“In Gina’s defense, if there could be one, up until the time my son reached grade school she thought the biological father was one of the two men she cheated with. It is now evident just from his features that you have to be his biological father.” George turned the photograph over and handed it to me.
The picture was of a young man standing by the front door of a ’35 Ford coupe, positioned almost identical in the photo, as the one over my mantel. “The antique car was a gift from Gina to my son on his twenty-first birthday.”
Looking closer to compare features, we could have been twins or even the same person, our looks and expressions were that much the alike. The major difference in the photo was the palm tree behind the car, rather than the maple tree.
Christ, what a mix up and what a way to spring this on me. Gina had been out of my life for twenty-five years. I had put the divorce behind me. I didn’t see how I could deny this man what he wanted, but what about my family? I had to think of them too. Would I be cheating them if I put my body at risk by having an organ removed. We had never had a crisis of this magnitude in the family before, but this sure was one now. I would have to ask help from them with this decision.
I went to the door of the game room and asked Cheryl and Jimmy to come in and meet our guest. When the introductions were over, I handed the photo to Cheryl and Jimmy and asked if they knew that person. “That’s you Dad. What’s with the palm tree, though? I never knew you went west at that age. It’s just like the picture you have, except for the tree.”
“Kids, that is not a picture of me. This man tells me that I am the biological father of the person in that photo. It is extremely likely that man is your half brother. If it is true, and I’m almost sure it is, then you have to help me make a decision. This kid, my son and your half brother, will die if I don’t give him one of my kidneys. How do you feel, knowing that there is some risk involved.”
Kim my wife, and being the person she was, would pressure me to comply even if I didn’t want to do it on my own. Cheryl, the oldest of my children and more outspoken said, “You have to Dad. If it were Jimmy or me, you would do it without question. I think you should do it!”
George Jenkins stayed the night. He walked me through what the procedure would be. I would be more fully indoctrinated by the doctors, if and when I actually was called on to donate. I was surprised that although this was a major operation, the time the donor was incapacitated was minimal. The main restriction was after the removal, the donor had to be very careful about lifting any weight.
George’s only worry now was that I wouldn’t match his son’s tissue. We decided we wouldn’t think about it until we were sure one way or the other. As the evening progressed he started to tell us about Gina and how they met. I was interested, even though hearing about her was painful.
“I met Gina when she first arrived in California. Her aunt is married to my brother. I was staying at my brother’s house when Gina arrived. Over time, Gina’s aunt thought she might even destroy herself, she was that depressed. Gina didn’t even know that she was pregnant until she was there for a few weeks.
“I am fifteen years older than Gina and had never married. The moment I met her, this young woman was the person I wanted to be my wife. When I told her I loved her, she told me everything about you, especially what she had done and how she had treated you and your folks.
“I didn’t care and I courted her more and more persistently while the baby was coming to term. Finally in her eighth month we were married. The only request she made was that if the baby was a boy that it be named Gordon after you who she felt she had wronged.
“She didn’t think it possible you could be the father, but she wanted a reminder not to cheat again. This was her way of doing that. She was happy and sad at the same time when she reached the conclusion that Gordon was actually a son by you. The sadness was for you, that you might never know you had a son. But more happy that her cheating hadn’t born fruit.
“Just so you know and be prepared when you meet her, she really did cheat. The night in New York was a planned event, but you weren’t supposed to find out. Gina was active with the two men the previous Wednesday while out with her girlfriends. Then that night those men stayed too long with her and you woke before they left. Instead of accusing her, you took the blame on yourself. At that point she knew that you were too good for her and she had to leave.
“She confessed everything when I asked her to be my bride. She is a wonderful wife and has been for twenty-five years. I’m sure she will confess and ask for your forgiveness when she meets you again.”
I asked if George had ever been in Olympia, Washington. I told him about seeing Gina, but of course I didn’t remember him because my attention was solely on her. He told me that they loved the city and were there often. He was an executive with Boeing Aircraft and had lived all his life in the area, but was retired now.
We flew out to Seattle in the morning. Cheryl traveled with George and I. She was terribly excited about having another sibling. Kim was to follow with Jimmy tomorrow when she had arranged for him to skip school for an extended period of time.
This was Jimmy’s senior year and his grades were such he felt he could ace his tests when they came up. I wanted my whole family with me if it came to me giving up my kidney. That I was nervous about meeting Gina and needed the support of my wife and family, goes without saying.
Gordon, my namesake and the son I never knew, was lying very still and asleep when we entered his room. He looked gaunt and pale. George immediately rang the bell and informed the nurse that hurried in, that he had found a possible donor for his son. Very soon Gordon’s doctor came in and discussed the procedure for matching tissue. I followed him into the lab, with Cheryl right behind me. When the doctor asked her to leave, she replied, “He is my brother. Take a sample from me too. This will save time if Dad’s kidney is no good and you find out that mine is.”
After the specimen from both of us were removed to be tested, we returned to Gordon’s room. He was awake and his fiancée was there holding his hand. We were introduced, me as his biological father and Cheryl as his half sister. George had been trying to reach Gina by phone and finally after several hours, contacted her. She rushed in and gave George a hug. She had been at another hospital looking for possible donors.
Gina was more mature of course and as beautiful as I remembered. She wasn’t even aware of me until I spoke, “Hi Gina.”
I’m sure Gina recognized my voice before turning to face me. Looking at her husband, “You went and found him, didn’t you?”
I was surprised at the half accusatory tone of her voice. Christ, I had come here to save her son’s life. What’s the matter with her?
She turned to me, “Hello Gordon, George and I have discussed looking for you, but I wanted to put it off until you were the last resort. He evidently couldn’t wait. Now that you are here, I suppose I’m glad. I am really glad now, because I was having no success finding a replacement kidney.” Gina came over and gave me a hug. I felt like crying and she did too as she quickly turned away.
“I knew you wouldn’t refuse if you found out about him. You are here so you must have decided to help us. It is just such a burden to saddle you with.” Again I felt there was some hidden resentment. We had to talk this out, but it would be later after the present crisis was resolved.
“Gina, what happened, happened years ago. Let’s see if my family can’t make Gordon well for you and George. By the way, this is my daughter Cheryl. She has had a tissue sample taken also, in case they can’t use mine.”
Gordon, awake finally and holding his betrothed’s hand, demanded from his mother what was going on. “Who are these people? I know they must be donors. Maybe you should introduce me, especially if they are going to save my life.”
“Gordon, this is your biological father. I was married to him when you were conceived. I had some issues and I asked him for a divorce. This was before I was aware I was pregnant with you. He never knew about you until your father went looking for him a few days ago. I was very immature at the time, so don’t blame him for anything. Someday I will tell you all of how it happened. Your dad has found him and it looks like he is here to save you.”
The testing for a match seemed to take forever. It was eleven that evening before we had a conference with the doctor, the surgeon and the hospital staff. Myself, George, Gina and Cheryl were in the conference room with all of the others that would be doing the transplant of the organ. We were given all of the warnings of the dangers and worst case scenarios, both for the donor and the recipient. The surgeon had booked the operating room for ten, tomorrow morning.
We hadn’t been told yet who the doctors preferred the donor to be, so Cheryl and I assumed we both had been approved. Speaking to the two of us he said, “I saved this explanation for last because this is a momentous decision for whichever one of you is the donor. The outcome for the boy is of course important, but for the donor it may be even more so. This, which ever one it is, will affect your lifestyle as long as you live. You will have to live and work more cautiously, always being aware that if you damage your remaining kidney, that in itself is a death sentence.”
The doctor was reading from a report he had in his hand. “Gordon Benson and his daughter, Cheryl. Both kidneys for donation are viable. The one from the older man is slightly less viable than the younger woman. This is strictly an age issue, because it just has been used more. It is however in excellent shape because his alcohol use has been minimal. You two will have to make the decision. I will leave you alone for five minutes. I don’t want to hurry you, but you should be ready to go to bed. The sooner the better. We will give you a sedation so that you can really rest for your operation tomorrow.”
I said, “My wife and Cheryl’s mother will be here early tomorrow morning. Will that be too late to decide which one of us will donate?”
“No, not too late if she is here by nine.” The doctor assigned Cheryl and I the same room and we soon were asleep.
At six we were awake and talking back and forth from different sides of the room. Cheryl said, “Maybe we should just flip a coin.”
That moment I made up my mind. What was I thinking? I wasn’t going to let my little girl do this. “Cheryl honey, you can relax. I’ve decided I’m not going to wait for your mom. This is my son and it is my place to save him if I can. Besides I think all of those warnings the doctors gave us are outside the laws of possibility.” I rang for the nurse and told her I would be the one going to donate a kidney.
“What was your impression of my ex-wife, Gina?”
“I can’t figure her out. You are doing her a favor and still she acts strange toward you. You are going to have to talk with her and find out what the problem is.”
“Right up until I received the divorce and even long after, I thought we had the perfect marriage. I still don’t know why she left. George says when she confessed to him what she did to me, she was cheating on me even before that night. I still find that hard to believe. Before I go home, you can bet I will know. It has been twenty-five years, it is time to find out what went wrong.” I was pleased I could talk to my daughter about something like this.
Everything went as planned. The operation on both Gordon and myself was successful. When I became conscious in the recovery room, Kim, Jimmy and Cheryl were with me. I asked about Gordon and was told he was in ICU. The doctors said I was fine and barring complications I would be out of the hospital in two days. I would feel some discomfort and pain but otherwise I was just fine. I was soon moved into a private room.
Kim had been introduced to Gina and they had bonded (whatever that meant) or maybe I was the common bond. My family was all going to stay at Gina and George’s house for the duration of the recovery period. Gordon’s betrothed popped in and thanked me for saving her love. George came by and thanked me with tears in his eyes. Gina hadn’t come in and it was time for everyone to leave for the night. I thought, “Oh well, I saw her yesterday. Once in twenty-five years will have to do.” I would like to talk to her, though. She had caused me untold pain when we divorced and I still didn’t know why.
After I was alone the door swung open and there she was. She breezed in and came over and kissed me just like she used to. “Do you remember the first kiss you earned? I made you wait a whole year for it. This one you earned with interest.” She kissed me again. “That’s for saving my son. Technically he is yours, but I never think of him as yours. He is George’s and mine. In a lot of ways he is like you, only different. That’s good I think.”
“Gina, for God’s sake tell me what happened between us. I worshiped the ground you walked on. I was working so hard to make you happy. George said you had cheated even before that night when it all went to hell. At first I thought it was all my fault, but the more I know, you were just a cheating wife, with no respect for me or our marriage. Then suddenly you were gone.”
“Oh, Gordy, all those things you say are true, absolutely. First let me tell you why I left. I did that to save myself. It was selfish, I know, and then I had to find a way to hurt you the least. The why: I was spiraling down and couldn’t stop. I was bored and I was looking for excitement. I found it the nights I went out with the girls. We’d find some beer and tell each other stories a lot of times about our sex life. Mine was dullsville compared to theirs. Nobody but you ever touched my boobs or pinched my ass.
“I know that is just the way it is supposed to be. My job sucked and my love life sucked and my home life was boring because you were working so hard to give me what you thought I needed.
“Admit it, you had me up high on a pedestal for eight years. Not only that, you were always saving me and protecting me and I guess I resented it a little. We were a couple, always a couple. I was proud when you did things for me, but having placed me that high on a pedestal, I never had a chance to find out if someone else could do as well as you. When I found that someone excited me more than you did, I fell and I fell all the way.
“When I came out of the bedroom and saw you up that morning, I knew the only way to save myself was to leave. If I didn’t, I would be living down on Clark Street and you would have had to leave town because your trashy wife was still around. I wasn’t aware of all of this then and it took years to figure out. I just hope you haven’t placed your lovely wife Kim up on that damned pedestal. If you have, you’re going to lose her just like you did me.
“Take the chains off if Kim loves you, she’ll keep the bounds loose enough so you never have to lose respect for her. But think about it tonight. I’ve had twenty years to figure it out. You may only have a couple of years at most until she spirals downward and it is getting too late in your lives to start over and be happy again with someone else. I’ll be in tomorrow night and this time I will let you say something. Good night, you’re still the best if you would only get rid of that damned pedestal.” She was gone again!
That night I had the dream with my little coupe. First time in a long time and I wasn’t alone either. The only problem, first it was Kim and then it was Gina--and when I woke I couldn’t tell who had been with me.
I didn’t go back to sleep after the dream. I went over everything that Gina had said. I agreed on most of the points she made, but hated to think that I didn’t realize what was happening and let it all slip away. I had only myself to blame.
Then I set about doing an assessment of my life with Kim. What Gina said really worried me. God, if I lost my second wife for the same reasons as I had the first, I was the world’s biggest dumb-ass! I wasn’t a very inspired lover, I knew that and according to Gina I was damned boring. I was red-faced from embarrassment just thinking of it. I always kept myself away from house parties where any grab-ass was going to take place. I was protecting my wife, or so I thought. Instead, maybe I was just adding to her boring old life with me. Come to think of it, we were never invited back to some of the pool parties in the neighborhood, even if we had been invited once. I didn’t mind, but maybe Kim did.
Then I got angry with what Gina had said. Damn it! She said the same words at our wedding ceremony as I did. I was working to give us both a better life. Gina could have said how she felt and how our marriage was in trouble. Not once did she ever say anything. She laid the blame on me then and she still was. She was even upset about me being here to save her kid from death. Did she think I was trying to make her beholden to me by saving him? Damn her, she was blaming me for her own guilt, not mine in putting her on that damned pedestal she kept bringing up.
I’ll bet right now she was filling Kim’s head full of the bullshit she spouted off at me. Well we would see about that. I would talk all this over with Kim. Maybe Gina did have some valid points, but it was about open lines of communication, not pedestals. What is wrong in believing the best of your mate? Then another thought came to me. What was this about my mother paying for the divorce. The more I thought about it, Mother had not taken Gina’s side when I told her that my wife wanted a divorce.
I had been through an ordeal today and was beginning to get sleepy again. Screw her!
Clear liquids was still all I had for breakfast, but I was up and walking around. The first question to the nurses was, “How is Gordon and my missing kidney doing in its new body?” I got an answer right away. “He is doing remarkably well and would you like to visit him?” I wanted to very much.
Gordon’s color had improved and he only had my implanted kidney in him a few hours. He was tickled to see me, and thanked me all over the place, especially wanting me to know how wonderful his girl thought I was.
The doctor was making his rounds and said he was very pleased at the outcome of the transplant. He told Gordon that he was better off now with a good kidney and a partial then I was with only one kidney. Gordon was to be monitored for the next two weeks and then periodically thereafter for organ rejection. The match was so close though, he didn’t anticipate any problems.
I spent the day in Gordon’s room. He wanted me to meet all of his father’s family. This included the aunt and uncle of Gina’s who I suppose were Gina’s brother and sister-in-law through her marriage to George (You explain it, I can’t). Gordon was bursting with pride. Hey, he had a sister that would have donated her kidney if his father couldn’t have, and he had a little brother too. George, his dad came in for praise for tracking us down so we could help him survive.
George told me in a spare moment that Gordon was more animated and more like himself since before his accident happened. Gina tried not to show it, but she was a little put out by the attention generated by Gordon’s new family. If Gina came in tonight like she said she was going to, I was likely to hear about it.
Noon time Kim and my two kids went back to my room with me, where lunch was served for all of us. I laid down and soon slipped into a doze. I must have slept for an hour or more when I realized that my ex-wife and George were being discussed. It seemed to be the consensus among us that George was an all right guy. Cheryl thought Gina was beautiful and had beautiful clothes. Jimmy piped up, “Clothes make the man.” Cheryl laughed and said, “That’s not right and besides Gina’s not a man. Hadn’t you noticed?”
That shut Jimmy up and he soon said he was going back to Gordon’s room. Cheryl said to Kim, “You know Gina asked me something funny. She asked me if I had sex yet. I told her no. What business of hers is it anyway? I wonder why she asked me that?”
Kim I think, was trying to find an answer in her mind why Gina would ask a teenager she didn’t know a question like that. “I get the impression that Gina has a bad case of guilt about how she treated your father. She will be glad when we go back east because your dad is just as good as he ever was, and she is looking for a chink in his perfect life. She could have had him still, but she threw him away for a little excitement. It is too bad for your dad loved her deeply.”
“Do you think Dad still loves her? Do you worry about it? She is beautiful.”
“Oh, he probably does a little. More the person she was than the one she became. Do I worry about her? No, definitely not and I’ll tell you why. She is married to George and your father has a very strict sense of right and wrong. It wouldn’t be right in his mind. She could be naked and inviting him into her bed and I know he would turn away from her.”
“Mom, what do you think of your new stepson? I can imagine dad being just like that at his age.”
“Gordy was just like that. He is the same age as when I married your father. Your father was more mature, because he was in the army overseas. But this Gordon will get there, especially with George to guide him. I’ll bet for all of Gina’s promises to George, he has some problems keeping her in line. Too bad too, but she gave him Gordon and that is what counts with him.”
Hey this eavesdropping was great. I was learning so much of how my family felt about a lot of things. There was more. “So Cheryl what you told Gina about not having sex, was that true?”
“Mostly, and I’m still technically a virgin, but I’ve done a whole lot of fooling around. I just haven’t met the one I want to give it up to. Were you a virgin when you married Dad?”
“When I met him I was, but when we married I wasn’t. I’m not going to say one way or the other about how you should deal with the issue. That’s up to you. If you need help getting birth control though, I’m here for you.”
“Thanks Mom, you’re the greatest.”
I hoped I could be as free and open with Jimmy about this subject. I put it on my “to do” list when we got home. I heard Cheryl leave. Kim said, “You can open your eyes now. How much did you hear?”
“Everything since Jimmy left. Boy you women get right to it don’t you?”
“Is there anything you disagree with while you were so busy listening in?”
“No you got it right I think, especially about Gina. She has a lot of guilt and she is trying to lay it on me. She’s not going to cause us any trouble if I can help it. Gina has been talking about what problems we are going to have when both kids are off to school. Something about ‘Empty Nest Syndrome.’ She must have read that in a book somewhere.”
My last night in the hospital when all of the visitors had gone home, Gina showed up as promised. She came in and I met her standing this time. We naturally went into each others arms and hugged. The kiss was a little more intimate than it should have been, but it was what seemed natural.
“God Gordy, that was nice. Kim is a lucky person. It makes me wish I hadn’t fallen off that pedestal.”
“Gina, I wanted to talk to you about that. You accused me of chaining you on top of a pedestal and you fell off. Some of that is not true. Okay the pedestal part maybe, but damn it, you jumped off, you didn’t fall off, and you took our marriage down with you. It is about time you faced that fact.
“For years I was so happy about that last night. You came back to show how much you cared about me and loved me. That wasn’t it, was it? You just came back to give me a ‘pity fuck’ didn’t you?”
My speaking to her like this was a shock and she didn’t know what to make of it. “You are trying to say this was my fault, and are laying the blame on me now. Well I would have taken the blame once and I did take it for awhile. All you really are trying to do is excuse the guilt you feel for yourself. I will give you credit in figuring out how to stop before you damaged your reputation. What you were doing was bound to get worse if you stayed in town and with me. You didn’t care about what you were doing to me. You say you had twenty-five years to figure out this pedestal shit, but I’m not buying it.
“You have to remember that I have had twenty-five years to think about this too. You piled up guilt for busting up our marriage and now you want to transfer that guilt to me. You took the same marriage vows I did and we know who broke them. Accept that you were the only one at fault and then come to me and ask me to forgive you. You knew me twenty-five years ago and you know what I would have done back then. Now you will have to trust that there is enough of that man to forgive you now. Until then, let’s talk about something else.”
I guess the night nurse heard us, because she cautiously came into the room. “You will have to be a little more quiet, please. Can I get you a coffee or juice?”
I looked at Gina and she shook her head. “A coffee would go fine if you think my one kidney can stand it.”
The nurse said she would check to see if it was on my diet.
Gina’s face had turned red and then pale when I mentioned my kidney. She must have remembered how she had resented me for coming to donate my kidney to her dying son.
Half and half coffee was all I could have the nurse informed me as she set it down. I slowly sipped it and watched Gina sort out what I had said. This was a new me and a new way of talking to her that she didn’t know.
“You’ve turned hard, Gordy. You were never like this before.”
“No, I’m the same, but it’s time to square things between us. You told me how you saw things from your perspective last night and told me to think about it. I thought about it a lot and I just told you how I see things from my angle. I’m hoping there is some way we can come together on this.
“You know my kids think it the most wonderful thing that their Daddy has a brother for them. One that looks just like he did when he was young. They also think that it was the greatest thing for his father to come hunting for me and then begging me to save their brother’s life.
“The jury is still out on you, but it doesn’t have to be. I’d like all of the kids to get together soon and as often as possible. I’m looking forward to Gordon spending time with us at home. I’d like to take him with us to Vermont to meet his grandparents on my side of the family. My Dad is getting a little senile, and I bet he would think he was seeing me young again. Mom would love to meet Gordon for the same reason. I’d like my kids to get to know you and to see us as we were when we were growing up. You were sweet and lovely back then. You could be that way again.”
Gina was shaking her head. “No, you don’t change. The same wonderful guy, protecting his girl, only I’m not your girl anymore am I? I threw it all away for a few moments of excitement, didn’t I?”
“Yes you did throw it away. You should accept it and move on. You have a wonderful husband that has you up on that pedestal you keep talking about. You jumped off of one once, but you found another guy to place you on another. Be thankful and don’t jump off this one.”
Probably I was the only one who had ever talked to Gina this way. I hoped I was the only one that had reason to. I was sitting on the bed watching her. I could see the moment she came to grips with the truth. She looked at me with hope.
“You say I won’t know if you will forgive me unless I ask. I can only hope now, because I believe I did just as you say I did and for the same excuses and reasons. Gordy, make me whole again and please forgive me?” Gina came over to me and put her arms around me. “Please?”
“Of course I forgive you and I am setting no conditions on that forgiveness either. The only conditions you will have to abide by are in your own heart.” This time I kissed Gina on the cheek and she was smiling as she left.
***************
Kim and George were at the hospital to pick me up and take me back to George’s house in the morning. Gina came in with them but stayed with Gordon. Gordon was going to have to stay in the hospital another two weeks.
Kim was going to take Jimmy home, and he hated to leave, but he had to take his finals. I couldn’t go yet as I was advised not to fly for another two weeks. I wanted to stay until Gordon got out of the hospital anyway, but would have to leave shortly afterward to tend to my business at home.
Gina took Cheryl and Gordon’s girl (Janet) shopping for the approaching wedding and all were involved in plans and planning. The day before Kim and Jimmy left, Janet approached us and asked if Cheryl could possibly be a bridesmaid. Kim also went home with a wedding invitation in her hands. Gina was taking to heart the hope I had of the young people getting together to know each other better.
George treated me like a brother, taking me out to his golf course and talking as I followed him around while he played. I was just itching to take some swings with a club, but I was afraid I might tear something. Evenings Gina and George took me out to dine. We went up to Olympia and dined at the same club where I had first seen Gina with George when I was stationed at Fort Lewis.
George and I were headed out to the golf links when he asked, “What in hell did you say to Gina the last night you were in the hospital? She’s like a different person. With you now, she treats you like you are her best friend. Never have I seen her act like that when your name came up. It was especially bad when I was searching for a donor for Gordon. It was like she hated you. Now it is like she just woke up as far as you are concerned.”
“Well we talked and we finally resolved some issues that had been hanging since she left me. The first night after the transplant she came to my room. She was blaming me for placing her up on a pedestal and claimed I had kept her chained so tight she just fell off. She said it took twenty-five years to figure out that is what happened. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking and at first I agreed. Then I remembered our marriage vows, what we had said and promised to each other. It made me angry so when she came in that last night, I asked her just who had broken those vows.
“At first she resisted, but when I got down to telling her that she didn’t fall off the pedestal, she knowingly jumped off and took our marriage down with her. Then when we met here in the hospital she was carrying the burden of guilt. Her guilt had increased over the years and she was trying harder and harder to blame me. I had taken the blame once but I had twenty-five years to think about this split, too.
“Gina saw and recognized the truth and asked me to please forgive her. I did and I could see her feeling relieved almost immediately. You know I came to the conclusion years ago, if someone does me harm, it is their problem. Let them carry the guilt and I move on and don’t think about it anymore. In Gina’s case, she has carried the guilt too long and as I was able to relieve her of it, I did.
“You know seeing her with you made it easy for me to forgive her. She has been a wonderful wife to you, it just was with you and not me. I’m happy for you.”
Cheryl was with Gina and Janet constantly. Janet had started calling Gina Mom, even though the wedding hadn’t occurred yet. Cheryl unconsciously picked up the habit. When this happened in my presence, Gina sent me a concerned look, worried I would take it wrong. I just grinned and gave her an “okay” sign.
I returned home and picked up my life. In return for my missing a kidney, things had a rosy glow to them. No more did I regret my marriage to Gina, for she gave me another son that I was immensely proud of. Jimmy though, made me even prouder, when the Valedictorian of his class was announced. Both he and Cheryl were going on to college in the fall. Jimmy to Harvard, no less.
My business life came in for some major changes, too. I received an offer for my cable company that was hard to refuse. I worried that if I sold my company, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. The company that made me the offer wanted to expand and become a national player. When they saw how reluctant I was, they suggested I come to work for them as a consultant. It was a good match for me and them both.
Gordon and Janet’s wedding was a festive affair. Kim and I were comfortable with Gina and George by then and our kids acted like they all had grown up together. On the way back from Gordon’s honeymoon he met us in Vermont. George and Gina came when Old Home Day weekend was going on and there was alumni from all over the country. It was a bit confusing when Gina and I showed up with different spouses and yet we all acted so friendly. Gina and I never bothered to straighten it out. Let people think what they wanted to.
Dad, who I said was slowly losing his mind, thought my son Gordon was me. When Gordon said he followed the Seattle, Mariners and not the Boston Red Sox. “Who the hell are the Seattle Mariners? I never even heard of them.” Other than that things went pretty smoothly.
Gina made her peace with Mom on their first meeting since that fatal week twenty-five years ago. Gina handed Mom a check in the amount that she paid out for the divorce. I was there and Mom asked me if I was okay with the way things had turned out. “Yes Mom, I am, it took several years, but we figured out that we were both too young and immature to be married. If we hadn’t divorced then, we more than likely would have later. By splitting then, it left us free to find mates we love more deeply.”
Gina and I gave everyone a tour of the town. Neither one of the factories where our dads worked were still in business. The high point of the visit was when we made a trip up to the Williamsville swimming hole. This was where I had saved Gina’s life, when she had been knocked unconscious and I had pulled her to safety. George walked over and shook my hand as Gina told what happened and Gordon gave me a hug, and then I got kisses from Kim, Janet, Cheryl and finally a murmured “Thank you again” from Gina.
Cheryl went off to school with the idea that when she finished, she would come home with a man who would give her plenty of money, two kids, a nice home and car and plenty of time to do the things that tickled her fancy. She got that, but she couldn’t keep her husband and by the time he left she didn’t want him. Not daunted with the breakup of her first marriage, she chose more carefully the next time--or so she thought.
Jimmy, well we despaired of him ever getting married. He graduated from college and informed us he was employed by the government. When asked what he did for the government, he would reply, “Think.”
“What do you mean, think?”
“You know they give me something to think about, so I think about it. Simple.”
I asked him if the job paid well. He pulled out a deposit slip and showed me. To me, “thinking” paid extremely well.
Jimmy called one Monday night. “Hey Mom, I got married two days ago. Do you think you would have time this weekend to meet the girl? The girl said I should bring her home to meet you. The girl said if I had any other relatives, she should meet them too. Can you arrange that for me?” He hung up.
Kim was beside herself when she came in to tell me about the call. “He didn’t even tell me his wife’s name. He just called her ‘The Girl’ and it sounded like she was telling him what he should do. Boy I bet he did something stupid and married a gold digger.” I thought to myself, Jimmy isn’t stupid and maybe he just has different priorities than the rest of us.
Kim and I had moved out to Seattle the year before. I still worked as a consultant so it didn’t matter where I lived as I was traveling anyway. We only lived three miles from Gina and George and with Cheryl so close now, we used George’s house almost like a family compound. It was an unusual relationship of Gordon, with Gina as his mother, and Cheryl and Jimmy with Kim as their mother, and me being father of them all. So we were all there for the weekend when Jimmy came in with the new bride. Kim was the most nervous as Jimmy was her “Baby”.
Jimmy was so proud when they came through the door. He walked the girl right up to where I was standing with Kim and Gina and announced, “Mom this is the girl and we’re married.” Both Gina and Kim stuck out their hand to greet her. Then he turned to the girl and said, “And this is my Dad. You’ll love him.” Then he steered her over to Gordon and said, “This is my brother and he is using my dad’s kidney to stay alive, and this is his wife, Janet and she is like a sister to me. They have two kids that are a lot of fun to play with, and this is George and he is Gordon’s father and this is my sister and she divorced her husband and took him for a bundle when he ran off with some bimbo and she has two kids that he is supporting.”
I’d guess that the girl and Jimmy hadn’t known each other very long. At least not long enough to define the family relationships. Not only that he was talking without a break, more than I had ever heard him say in an hour. The girl looked around totally confused. “Jimmy, somebody has to explain this to me. You’re too nervous.”
She looked at me and quickly made it to my side. “You tell me. You look calm enough.”
I was laughing. “Sure, let’s sit here where we can see everyone. Those two women over there are my wives. One I am married to now and the other I was married to thirty-five years ago. Gordon is my biological son of one and Jimmy and Cheryl are my kids by my present wife. The older man over there is married to my ex-wife. The pretty woman sitting by my daughter is married to Gordon. Is all that clear now?”
“You people are all crazy. You have two sets of women sitting together and you haven’t yet told me which one is your daughter and which one is your daughter-in-law. And you haven’t told me which one is your wife and which one is your ex. Okay if you want to play games, I’m your daughter-in-law and I bet you don’t even know my name. Jimmy calls me ‘The Girl’, and that’s how I’m going to be known as long as I’m in the family. How about that, Mister?”
“Okay I give, ’cause I bet you have a real pretty name. But don’t you want to guess which of those ladies is my wife?”
The girl studied the two women and then said, “Ordinarily I would pick the dark complected one as your wife, because Jimmy is dark, but the other one looks like she is more warm and loving. That’s the one you are married to and she is Jimmy’s mom.”
“Hey you and I are going to get along great. Welcome to the family. Would you tell us tonight when we toast the newest member of the family, how you and Jimmy met?”
“Sure will. And my name is Rosealea, but people call me Rosy.”
I escorted Rosy around and introduced her so she could make more sense of the family than Jimmy’s introduction did.
At dinner that night I made a toast to the bride and groom. “Rosealea, I want to welcome you into our family. We all stick together here and work at being happy. If you ever have trouble, talk to us and we will help you through it, so welcome, my Rosealea.”
“Thank you, that means so much to me. I guess this is where I should tell you a little about myself. My Mama and Pop own a deli and I have worked since I could barely walk. Jimmy never told me anything about his family, so I was happy to come in and find so many relatives. I have three brothers and four sisters, all older than me. They have more kids than I can keep track of. It gets kind of noisy around home sometimes when everyone shows up for dinner.
“Jimmy always came into the deli three or four times a week ever since he moved nearby. You never knew when he was going to show up and sometimes he would come in and stand before a display case for the longest time. He would just stand there. He would be standing in the way sometimes. Pop would shout at him after we got to know his habits, ‘Hey, Jimmy, move.’
“I asked him one time what he was doing and he said, ‘thinking’. I asked why he was like that, and he said he was ‘thinking’. I said, why don’t you get a job and he said he had one. And doing what, I asked, and he said ‘thinking’. I’ve watched him for two years now and he always smiled the most wonderful smile when he came in and would see me. Would you believe I fell in love with Jimmy just from his smile and watching him?
“He was never going to say anything to me, so I just walked up to him a few days ago and said as long as he was thinking why didn’t he think about me a little. He said he thought about me a lot and when he said that his eyes traveled down and feasted on these hooters. When I turned and walked away I glanced up into the security mirror and his eyes were glued to my butt.”
All of us laughed--except Gina and she just gasped.
“At that point I knew Jimmy was husband material. My Gram-mama from the old country always said you had to have big hooters and wide hips to catch a man and have lots of babies. Now I’ve caught the man and we’re planning on having the babies.”
I was chuckling to myself because body parts were never mentioned out loud in our company. I looked at Jimmy and he was grinning all over, not embarrassed with his wife at all for her ‘faux pas’. I could bet this was going to be a happy marriage.
Rosy continued, “This just started two weeks ago and I guess I was pretty bold ’cause I asked him if he would like to see more of me. I meant like maybe him courting me. He thought I meant I wanted him to see more of my body. When we got straightened out what each of us meant, he had me down to the nearest motel and he had seen all of me. When we calmed down, I said he had to marry me because I was undoubtedly pregnant. So here I am an old married woman of eight days.”
Rosy sat down smiling at Jimmy, who was nodding his head in agreement with everything she had said. Rosy was bold as brass and a little loud, but you just had to love her for the way she felt about Jimmy. Gina didn’t think much of the choice Jimmy had made, but I felt he had done better than Cheryl had her first time out.
Cheryl and Janet took Rosy for their own and wanted to take the rough edges off her. I said, “For God’s sake don’t do it. She is too sweet the way she is.” They knew I liked my new daughter-in-law.
Kim was really nice about Jimmy’s choice, but they were too different to be as close as they could have. Gina, who had no rights in the situation, anyway, barely tolerated Rosy.
***************
It is weird how troubles sneak up on a person. A person who should know better. I still traveled a lot in my job as a consultant. Kim and I had a very comfortable relationship, even if my work kept us apart. I enjoyed my work and that is the only reason I stayed with it. Financially I was well off, and I was happy with my life at home. Then why did I let another person come on the scene? I don’t know how, but I did. Karen was her name and a consultant like me. We worked several projects together and she seemed to be on the same ones as I was--often, too often as it turned out.
She was divorced and ravishing and thirteen years younger than me and made it known she was available. We were working together in a small town in the Ozarks doing research on setting up a new cable company. It was a one motel town and of course when reservations were made Karen usually made them.
When we went to the front desk in the lobby there was a mix-up in the reservations. We found the desk had only reserved one room instead of two. They argued that was all that Karen had requested. The room did have two single beds so I agreed to stay in the room for the night, if they would secure another in my name tomorrow.
Karen used all of the many attributes she had to entice me into making love to her. I resisted throughout the evening while we were doing our paperwork on the project. When finished, she took a shower and put on a black lace teddy and pranced around. I told her flat out I was not going to have sex with her. I quickly took my shower and crawled into bed facing the wall.
I survived the night, but she continued her assault on me in the morning, by going into the bathroom, leaving the door open while she showered, made herself up and got dressed. This was blatant seduction. It didn’t work that night but it gave me an awful lot of visual stimuli that I couldn’t pry out of my mind.
It took her three months to wear me down to the point that I said I would meet her in Vail, Colorado for a weekend. Kim was used to me being away for periods of time, consulting somewhere. I didn’t need to make an excuse to be away from home. I made reservations at a hotel in the name of Mr. and Mrs. Benson. The minute I confirmed the reservations, I was overwhelmed with such crushing guilt, I almost canceled.
Getting into Vail, I hurried to the front desk and was informed I had an urgent message and to call the number that was handed to me.
I called from the lobby and it was Karen. “Jesus Christ Gordy! How many wives do you have? I answered my door just before I left for Vail. I was pushed back into my own house by two women that claimed they were married to you. They said you were married and if I didn’t leave you alone, they would do more than just warn me. The dark-haired one was the worst. How do you put up with her? She’s a bitch. I can compete with one wife, but I won’t even try to compete with two. You can forget me working with you ever again.”
I checked in and the relief I felt was palpable. I went up to my room to plan how I was going to face Kim when I got home. Gina, I didn’t worry about although she apparently was the one that had taken the lead in chasing Karen off. I’d have to thank her, but it was a subject I would have to pretend wasn’t any of her business. When I opened my suite door, my ordeal was just beginning in a way I never could have imagined.
Gina and Kim were sitting facing the door and waiting for the bellhop to deposit my bags. As he closed the door I said, “How did you find out about this? I’m away a lot for the weekend. You couldn’t have suspected anything.”
Kim said, “You’ve been acting kind of strange for the past few months, so I got suspicious and started watching you. I talked to Gina and we decided if we looked hard enough we could find out why you were acting different. It was so easy. You put too much information on your travel planner you keep on your desk. For the past month, whenever you made a reservation at a hotel or a motel we would call and ask if the reservation was for a single or couple. The first time a reservation for a couple showed up, it was here in Vail.”
“How in hell did you know it was Karen?”
Gina looked smug. “I was the one that spotted your connection with her. We knew when you made a note on your planner you always put ‘business’ after she called if that was what it was. If you did something with family that’s what you put. We looked going back over a year. You used to put ‘business’ after Karen’s name up until that job down in the Ozarks. From then on you might have ‘business’ after her name or you might have a question mark, so we knew that the call had to be something else.
“You have been acting so damned guilty lately it was easy to figure out what was going on. Finding out the rest was just luck, I guess. Damn you Gordy, you are no better than me. I felt guilty for twenty-five years and now you can see how I felt all that time. I wouldn’t blame Kim for kicking your ass out.” Gina was crying by this time, “Oh shit, you piss me off and I’m going down to the bar and get loaded.” Gina had to be mad to talk like that!
“Kim, I’m sorry and thank God you two stopped me. I’ll make it up to you.” Kim came over and put her arms around me, and kissed me. “How come Gina is so upset and you are taking it so calmly?”
“I guess you will finally realize that women aren’t the only ones that get placed on a pedestal. Gina has had you on one since you saved her from those bullies back in seventh grade. You have just about destroyed her. I also know she is sorry for how heavy the guilt is going to be for you to bear.” Kim remained with her arms around me. “I guess now is the time to tell you I know all about guilt too. That is why I’m not upset--sad, but not upset.”
“What do you mean? You don’t have anything to confess. I can’t imagine it.”
“No, I started this and I’m going to finish it. And yes, and I do have something to confess. Maybe if you can see that I’m not perfect, it will ease some of the guilt you feel. Of course I may add more heartbreak in trying to unburden myself of the guilt I have borne for years.”
“How long has this affair been going on, and have you broken it off or are you still in it?”
“How long? Umm, many years. Ever since before you sold the cable company. Maybe two years before that. And no, I haven’t broken it off and yes it is still going on. I just could never find the words to tell you about it before. This little slip you made with that woman has made it possible for me to tell you of my own.”
Kim looked sad, but still under control. “I think I should tell you everything. Maybe you won’t feel I’m as bad as you think. I’m hoping so, anyway.”
“Who is he? Do I know him?”
Kim shocked me with her answer. “First of all, it isn’t a him, it’s a her, and you have met her, but it is unlikely you will remember her. Unlike you I have been discreet and there is nobody who knows about us but me and now you---and her of course.” Kim waited to see if I was going to ask more. I couldn’t and it was too much to think about all at once.
Kim very quietly continued, “Do you remember a Penny Kimball that worked for you for a short time?” I shook my head no.
“Penny worked for the company as a temporary bookkeeper. Do you remember the bad case of influenza that swept the country? You caught it and I went in and helped out in the office.”
“Penny was a mousy little thing and scared out of her mind as this was her first temp job. She messed up some receiving accounts and was crying because she didn’t know how to balance the books.
“I came in and held her for a moment, just so she could calm down and do a re-start on the books. I knew that she would find her mistake and she would make it balance. Instead she clung to me and before I knew it she was kissing me. It felt good and I kissed her back. For the two weeks, whenever we were alone in the office, that is what we did. Just that two weeks it was physical. It was not really satisfying then, but we talk about it a lot. I never have felt free to explore, but after this, I might.
“We remained friends and still are today. Some years all we have together are some phone conversations. These last few years while you have been away so much we talk sometimes for hours. It is mostly my talking about you and she talks about her work. That mousy little temp has become a lively, confident journalist. You might even recognize her name if I told you what byline she writes under. We have had a few meetings but nothing physical has happened again.”
Kim looked kind of pensive, before continuing. “When Gina first started saying that you were having an affair, I was hurt of course, but I thought if you did, you couldn’t blame me if I did too. Then Gina kept saying what a burden guilt was and she didn’t think you could handle it, I stopped thinking of myself and thought more of you. At that point we both tried to figure out how to stop you. I guess misery loves company because I certainly am miserable because I never really wanted to end it with Penny.”
“So what do you want to do? Do you want to end it, get closer and more physical or continue just as you are? You must have some idea what you want.”
“Gordy, I hate to ask and I know it is too much, but what I would like to do is go and spend a few days with her because neither of us know what we want. I know I love you, and that counts for most of what my decision would ultimately be.”
“Do you have her number?” Kim nodded and found it, “Give it to me.” Kim reeled it off and I dialed it. Penny’s answering machine picked up. “Hi Penny, this is Gordy Benson. Kim and I have been talking and she said she would like to spend some time with you. Valentines day is in two weeks and Kim is free to meet with you all that week. If that is satisfactory, call her on Monday as she is unavailable this weekend. Bye.”
“Now let’s go find Gina and see if she’s drunk enough to go to sleep. We’ll leave her here in this room. I’ll move our stuff down to the next floor and we’ll see if I can still perform like a husband who has never cheated and never intends to.”
“You never cheated? How come you reserved this room for two then?”
“I did make the reservation, but when I hung up, I realized how Gina felt all those years and how you would feel, so I immediately called and reserved another room. It wouldn’t be fair to Karen to kick her out and then leave her with no place to stay. That’s why the two rooms. I will say she is a fabulous looking lady especially naked and I’ll tell you about that some other time.”
We woke Gina up the next morning and she was complaining of her hangover. “Damn you Gordy, you drove me to drink again, and I feel worse then I ever did. I suppose getting rid of that slut was worth the headache.”
When she saw that Kim and I were still happy and in love as much as ever, she took credit for “saving” me from myself. I suppose she did, but only because Kim had her own issues and hadn’t pushed like Gina had.
***************
As the years go by you lose people to old age and death. George was fifteen years older then the rest of us. Pneumonia struck him down when he was seventy-eight. Before he lost consciousness the last time, we talked and he made me promise to take care of Gina. He said she never lost her love for me. I suppose at some level I knew that, but I couldn’t see where I should have to take care of her. Oh well it was nice for him to have that much trust in me to ask.
Kim and I really missed George. We were still attuned to one another's thought, though not as often now as we were years ago. I caught Kim eyeing me speculatively one day. “What? What’s on your mind? You’ve been looking at me funny ever since George was laid to rest. Are you worried I might sneak over and see if Gina and I could get together? I laughed as if that would ever happen.”
Kim gave me a big smile. “No I’m not worried, but I can’t see why you haven’t at least thought about it. It has been three years since Gina and George did anything except sleep in bed. She should be ripe for some man to come along now that she is a widow. I just wondered if it might be you.”
“Is my wife offering me up to go sleep in my ex-wife’s bed?”
“No, not really, but if it happened I wouldn’t be too upset. The only thing that would upset me would be if you decided to divorce me and remarry her. That would crush me. I love being married to you and I love our family just the way it is. If we divorced the dynamics and stability would change and not for the best, either. I just thought if you two were discreet, I wouldn’t mind at all.”
“This is about my freeing you to go explore your relationship with Penny Kimball isn’t it?”
“I suppose it is to some extent, but not as much as you might think. Sure it is so nice to be able to go visit her when I want to. That Valentines visit was the best present you ever gave me. You must have noticed that I don’t go as often or for as long. I guess gifts wear out after awhile. I’m going next week for another visit, but I will be only gone for three days.
“I’m going to suggest to cutting our time together to the rare occasions when there is an actual need. We have found after the first day together, we don’t have much to say to each other. I think in a short while we will discontinue the visits and make due with phone conversations.”
“You don’t have to, you know. I feel I deepened our love by letting you go to her.”
“It has deepened. The other thing, George and I had often talked about you and Gina. He was so thankful to have her for his wife all of these years, but he said deep down he knew that you and her were the ideal couple and meant for each other. I said the same thing to him earlier, but I never would give you up because I love you too much, but we did agree that you made the best couple together.
“The point is, if you two get together, can she stand the guilt, knowing she is cheating with you and I am her friend. Whether that would be worse than with a stranger, like the first time, I don’t know. She could take on an awful heavy load of guilt and there is no need given the circumstances. Talk to her, she may find you not worth it. Your problem and now you know where I stand.”
I did talk with Gina, but we did not resume the sexual relations that had been so abruptly terminated forty-five years before. My love deepened for Kim in proportion to the freedom to be with Gina, if I wanted.
The one biggest joy in my life was to go and visit Jimmy and his family. Rosy had told Jimmy they had enough kids when she had five in the first seven years they were married. Jimmy had a new huge house built near his in-laws.
When I would walk in the door a scream would go up, “Gran-pop is here.” You never knew how many kids were there and who they belonged to, at any one time. Rosy had seven sisters and brothers and the eight siblings had a total of forty-one kids. I started bringing cookies and ice cream when I went to visit, but I was usually short and some little kid was left wanting. I eventually just stopped at a shopping center and loaded up the trunk of the car with goodies.
Jimmy’s home was always loud and noisy with the innumerable nieces and nephews that always seemed to be there. Rosy thrived on it and Jimmy did too being in his own world as he often was.
Tuesdays, once a month, all of Jimmy’s kids would be shipped out to one of the numerous aunts or uncles and Rosy would clean house, throw out all the broken toys and furniture and replace what was beyond repair. It was a hectic way to manage a household, but I guess that was the way of Rosy’s family and it worked for them. I loved it!
Jimmy was above it all because he could tune himself out of the bedlam. I asked Rosy one time where her littlest one was, “He is working with Jimmy.”
She took me in and showed me Jimmy sitting staring in space “thinking”. In his arms and fast asleep was the little fellow. Rosy was laughing, “If Mickey wakes up, Jimmy will just set him on the floor and the little cuss will crawl out and find me. All our kids have done that, and it doesn’t interrupt Jimmy a bit.”
“Does Jimmy make enough to support you? I could help out if you need it.”
Rosy laughed. “The government pays him an indecent amount and Jimmy says he doesn’t know why, but he said for them to keep it coming, as he had a big family to feed.” A boisterous laugh followed this statement. I stopped worrying about their finances.
I really appreciated Rosy for smoothing me over the rough spots when I gave Kim leave to take up with Penny Kimball. I was uncertain how freeing Kim like I did was going to turn out, so I traveled that week and spent it with Rosy and Jimmy.
Rosy was the only one I told that Kim had an outside interest. I pretty much gave her the story of my life. We talked off and on all week and I guess before the week was over Rosy knew everything about me. You could just open up your heart to her and she understood. Kim liked Rosy well enough, but never seemed to get close to her like I did.
And she was thoughtful too. For example, “Hey Pop if you need to get your rocks off, my cousin Marie is in the business. She’s real class and works out of a suite uptown. In fact you can see the Whitehouse from her balcony.” I said no, Kim was still doing well by me.
Gina could never understand how Jimmy could be happy with a big, sloppy-appearing Italian girl like Rosy. Rosy and Gina just came from two different cultures. I liked to think I could fit into either culture and the way I enjoyed myself pretty much proved that I did.
This brought on the thought of why was I always thinking of what Gina would think about something or someone. I couldn’t answer because I didn’t know. I just knew I did it.
Tragedy brought me into contact with Rosy’s cousin Marie. Earlier I met Marie several times at Rosy’s when she was visiting at the same time as I was. You talk about beauty and class, this girl had it. In fact we had some stimulating conversations. One evening when things had quieted down and Marie and I were sitting out on Jimmy’s patio she asked me, “Rosy says she told you I was an escort. How come it doesn’t bother you? I’ve met your wife and I’ve met your ex-wife. It would bother them, I know it would.”
“Marie, don’t sell Kim short. She knows all about you and it hasn’t changed her attitude towards you a bit. Now Gina, that’s different. She cheated on me at the beginning of our marriage. She divorced me almost immediately after she cheated. She remarried a really nice person and they have had a good life together. I would imagine that being an escort would be way down on her list of acceptable lifestyles. Probably, she would make a connection between being an escort and cheating.”
Marie was laughing, “You know, we both used the designation escort when we both know I am a whore. I’m not ashamed of what I do. It is a pretty good life and I’m about to give it up. Next year I think. I’ve noticed my boobs have lost a little of their bounce, so I know it is time to quit. I’ve met a lot of powerful men here in Washington and I’ve been very discreet by always entertaining out of the public eye. Eventually I will pick a nice looking Congressman or Senator and go home with him when he leaves office. I just hope he will be as nice as you or even Rosy’s Jimmy. You may not know it, but Jimmy is a very powerful man here in this town.
“I’ll probably pick someone with a ready-built family. I love kids, but I made sure early on in my career not to have any. A pregnant whore is a career stopper. I imagine five years after I quit the business, I will look just like the rest of the family with big fat boobs and a big fat ass. God I haven’t had my belly full of what I really want to eat for ages. Fat whores are viewed about the same as pregnant ones. Has Rosy ever told you that being in the business is a family tradition? With such a large family some of us are bound to be what we are. I took over from my Aunt Michelle when she retired years ago. I have a niece that I am training now for my replacement. If she is as smart as I think she is, she will be better at this than I am and I’m up there near the top, so I have been told.”
***************
“Pop, I have troubles.” This was Jimmy calling me. “Rosy has a brain tumor. Could you fly in as soon as possible? Rosy is at Walter Reed and they are going to operate as soon as they figure out the best course to take to remove the growth. They may tell me they can’t operate, but I don’t know. Please come, even if you just stay with the kids. You’ve always been able to calm them down and I really need you.”
Kim and I were ready to go almost as soon as the chartered aircraft had finished its pre-flight check. When we flew in, we were met by one of Jimmy’s brothers-in-law and taken directly to the hospital. There was a lot of Rosy’s family there and Jimmy with his oldest child, a girl of fifteen. “Pop, Rosy was hoping you would get here before they operate. They are going to start things in an hour, so you just made it.”
Jimmy led Kim and I into Rosy’s room where she lay propped up in bed. Her face broke into wide smiles when she saw us. “I’m so glad you got here in time. I wanted to talk to you. Jimmy would you step out for five minutes so I could be alone with your mom and dad.”
As soon as Jimmy went out, Rosy started talking. “Pop I don’t think I’m going to survive this. The doctors only give me a sixty-forty chance of the operation being successful. That’s sixty percent against. Don’t think about it, but if I don’t make it, here is what I want you to do. Jimmy is going to need as much care as the kids, maybe even more. I’ve talked with Marie and she is going to quit her profession anyway, so she will move in and take care of the kids. It was her idea and it is perfect for them. After a bit I’m hoping that Marie will make a wife for him and a mother for my babies.”
“Rosy, nothing can happen to you. It wouldn’t be fair.” I said this as Kim was crying.
“I know Pop, but there is a lot in this life that isn’t fair. You should know that. You would be okay with Marie marrying Jimmy if I do die wouldn’t you? You’ve met her.”
“Rosy, I’ve talked with her and I think you’ve come up with a perfect plan if things go wrong. I’ll even help him open his eyes if I feel it is needed. I guess this is going to start pretty soon. Do you want us to stay here or go to the kids?”
“Please go home and be with the kids.”
Jimmy was waiting anxiously as we came out and we said we were going home to wait the results. I felt like I had a tight constriction in my chest and it just wouldn’t go away. I hugged my granddaughter and asked if she wanted to go home to be with the younger ones. She wanted to stay with her dad and be as close to her mother as possible.
Kim cried all the way out of Washington. As we neared Jimmy’s home I asked if she could pull herself together before we arrived. It was bad enough for the kids to worry about their mother, even if the operation was a success.
Marie met us at the door and led us into a sad household. Kim and Marie had never met and Kim had never even seen a picture of her. She was curious as to whom both Rosy and I had picked out for a new wife for our son--that of course if what we feared did indeed happen.
It was a tense moment as I introduced Kim and Marie. Marie was a tall, elegant beauty with raven black hair and sparkling eyes. She had the same warmth emanating from her as it did with Rosy. Kim was charmed and they soon were talking like old friends. I took the kids into a different room and tried to keep their fears at bay by distracting them with stories of different things that happened in my life.
Question after question was asked after I told the story of how I had found an unknown son and had given him one of my kidneys to save his life. This was their own Uncle Gordon--and he had one of my kidneys--oh, wow, cool.
Five in the afternoon, the sad news came and we had to tell our four grandchildren here with us that their mother was not going to come home. Jimmy and his oldest came home and he went straight to bed.
Jimmy was contained at the funeral, spending most of his time with his kids clustered and crying around him. Not able to see how or why this had happened, he couldn’t explain it to the little ones that were hurting as much as he was. I was hurting too, for I loved the woman that had made my son happy, not only that, but had understood his quirky ways.
Marie’s profession hadn’t been her only accomplishment for she showed she could cook, clean and control this devastated family. Jimmy didn’t seem aware of Marie on any level. He was still expecting to hear Rosy come in the room and say to him, “It’s time to stop working now. Stop your thinking and come to bed.” It didn’t happen, but he was waiting.
Kim and I stayed a month. Jimmy did not return to work, and I was concerned about his finances. For once Jimmy seemed aware of his surroundings, “Pop, that is the least of my worries.” He went to his desk and pulled out an asset statement, provided by an investment firm. “Do you think I should worry? Christ, it compounds so fast I can’t even begin to spend the interest.”
I glanced at the bottom line and saw that he was worth millions. “You never told me what you do. Why would the country pay you that kind of salary? Christ, CEO’s don’t make that kind of money.”
Jimmy looked me right in the eyes. “I can’t tell you Pop and if I did I would have to kill you.” I took him serious. Still deadpan he said, “That’s a joke Pop,” and he started to grin.
I knew that Jimmy and his family were going to be all right then. I hugged him when I started to laugh, and by the time the kids, Kim and Marie came in we were really whooping it up. I felt that Rosy could pass through the portals and into heaven that night, for there were actually a few smiles on the faces around the supper table. No need to wait around and feel the need to come back. Her family was safe and was going to recover from her absence.
Kim and I returned home to Seattle and settled in. Jimmy’s sister Cheryl, and his half-brother Gordon, all had been present at Rosy’s funeral. Gina had been absent because she just wasn’t up to another funeral so soon after losing George. Jimmy said he was taking three months off from work to get squared away. He never returned to work, as he had been with the agency (whichever one it was) twenty years and he could retire at will.
When schools let out for the year, Jimmy and the grandchildren descended on Gram and Gran-Pop. Marie came as their nanny. It was a good thing as she was the only one that had much control over them. Jimmy was a changed person, acting as bad as the kids and maybe I got to acting up a little myself. I hated just being an observer. Practical jokes were the norm and broken toys and even furniture had to be exchanged for new before they left. Gina was horrified at the way all of us acted. The only thing that awed her at all was the beauty of Marie. She wouldn’t believe that she could possibly be Rosy’s cousin.
Three months later, “Hey Pop, Marie wants me to make an honest woman of her. Do you and Mom have any objections to me getting married again? The kids all love her and I need her. We would like an October wedding and have a private family ceremony at the church. The reception, we will hold that here in the capital at one of the great ballrooms.
“Marie has oodles of friends she wants to invite to the wedding and then all the people I have worked with will want to wish me goodbye. This will really be the bash of a lifetime. It’s not an election year with no big fund raisers going on, so we were able to secure the ballroom we wanted.”
Not all of us could attend. Cheryl and her present husband (the third) couldn’t be there and Janet, Gordon’s wife, couldn’t attend so I asked Gordon to bring his mother, Gina. I was sure she won’t want to miss out on seeing all of the famous people.
This was like a politicians mixer. Congressmen and women, and Senators of both parties were there, along with lobbyists and one Cabinet member. There was even a sprinkling of the military. Then there were those that you couldn’t tell what they did, they were just in Washington making the country safe. Those, I figured were Jimmy’s guests.
The meal was catered of course, and a well-known band set up in the ballroom. The gowns on the ladies were exquisite and many daring to the point of being risqué. Marie’s gown was beautiful, but conservative, befitting her married state she laughingly said. The evening wore on and Marie was always on the arm of someone famous out on the ballroom floor. I danced with Kim a few times and with Gina a couple. Gina was green with envy that Jimmy had married someone who knew so many famous and powerful people.
She was envious until she and Kim came back from the ladies room. Kim had a smug little smile on her face. Gina’s was furious.
She spoke to me, “I heard two women talking in the ladies room. They said Marie is a high-class call girl. I could have slapped one old bitch. How dare they talk about Jimmy’s wife like that?”
This wasn’t the place to tell Gina the facts, but I knew she wouldn’t let it go, so I leaned over close and said, “Was, Gina, not is. One of the best, if the crowd here is any indication. It almost makes me regret not finding out myself when she was offered to me, but then I didn’t know she was going to be Jimmy’s wife.”
***************
Jimmy and Marie made the decision to move as far away from Washington as possible. They bought a compound near us in Olympia. I was overjoyed to be near the grandchildren. Marie never lost the elegance she exhibited while in the capital and slowly Jimmy and Rosy’s kids took on the outer shell that was Marie’s. That is until they went back east to visit the family, then everyone reverted to their old boisterous ways.
Jimmy could have had any job in the country and he did work intermittently on some projects. I was so glad that there was never a hint of scandal involving Marie and her previous profession. It wouldn’t have fazed Jimmy a bit--he would have just ridden it out.
Kim and I reached the point where we were talking again like we did, way back when we were first married. Back when I was climbing the corporate ladder and a wife was your help-meet in moving up. She had to be cognizant on politics, world affairs, local happenings along with knowing how to entertain and the ability to set a beautiful table.
It was fun for both of us, but Kim wanted to get more personal. “Gordy, you know we talk about a lot of things except the one thing that is really important. We never discuss ourselves, you know, how we feel about each other, our friends and our family. Let’s just sit here and talk. You say ‘I love you’ and I say ‘I love you’ but do we really mean those words? We certainly have enough time to explore these things. What do you say?”
“Okay, let’s start. I love you and when I say ‘I love you’ I mean it. How is that?”
“That’s good, but I want to know why?”
I could see that this was going to get pretty involved. “Because you’re cute.”
“Cm’on Gordy, I’m serious and I want to know why you love me?”
“Well you are cute. That is what first attracted you to me. Also, all through our life, you are the one I could depend on. You helped me in business and you gave me the children I wanted and you supported me when the Gordon and kidney thing came up. You have been really trusting in my connection with Gina. That counts more than you know. I mean what wife would give her husband a free pass to make love to his ex-wife?”
“Wow! I’ve been all that to you? I was just being what a good wife would do if she could.” Kim paused, “Well all except Gina. That was payback for the Valentines week you gave me with Penny. Would you like to have me tell you all about my little episode with Penny?”
“I suppose, but you don’t have to.”
“I’ve got to the point where I want to. In fact that is what this conversation is all about.”
“I figured it was something like that, so tell me?”
“Okay, then. It started as I told you when you had the flu that time. I guess I was ripe for something like this. You had been working all hours and we just never had time for sex and if we did it was a quickie.
“It had been over a month--no sex! Then when Penny kissed me, whoa, that felt good! We ended up playing--I mean really playing all over the office. It ended then just as quick as it began. I told her not to contact me and I said I wouldn’t contact her.
“I didn’t hear from her for nearly five years. One Christmas I received a card and she mentioned that she would be here in town. I met her downtown in a coffee shop. You see women kissing all the time, so that is how we greeted each other. We said goodbye that day the same way. She called occasionally and we met three more times, just for coffee.
“The year before you said I could be with her, we met and she suggested we get a motel room. That scared me. I mean I didn’t know if I was ready to resume a physical relationship. The wondering if and what it would be like, you know, was so many years ago? The whole year I thought about it. I wanted to know, so when the chance came, I told you.
“You know when you picked up the phone that time and dialed Penny, I almost died. I thought you were going to blast her and then turn on me. Then when you made the appointment and said for her to call me, God I loved you, Gordy. I almost didn’t go because you were so generous, but I had to get this settled in my mind once and for all.
“We tried to rekindle something, but it just wasn’t there, so eventually we just sat around and talked. After we met a few more times we ran out of things to say. The only time that Penny calls now is on my birthday. That’s good and that’s the whole story. Do you still love your lesbian wife?”
“You’re no lesbian. I knew that. And after I talked to someone and told them all about it, she agreed. Not only that, she said I did the wisest thing in letting you find out more about yourself. That was what your affair was--finding out about yourself.”
“Oh, God, who did you tell? I’m so embarrassed. I hope it wasn’t Gina.”
“It was Rosy and she totally sympathized with you. She said lots of women wonder about another woman. When she said that, I wondered just a little if maybe she wondered at one time about herself.
“As far as talking about this to Gina--no way--never happening. Our relationship with Gina is complicated enough without throwing something like this into the game.”
“Thank you, I guess I never thought of you mentioning my exploring my sexuality with anyone. Rosy never indicated that she knew so that’s okay. I wish she was still alive and I could talk to her about it. I miss her so sometimes. She was such a good wife for Jimmy.”
We were quiet a few moments with our own thoughts of Rosy. Then Kim continued, “You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to, but I am curious. Have you done anything with Gina? I mean like what I gave you the freedom to do?”
“I suppose you want to know everything, don’t you?” Kim’s face fell a little, fearing the worst. “Going to bed with Gina is complicated and I’ll tell you why. Knowing I could has given me a lot of freedom to be with her as much as I want. I value that and thank you. What do we talk about? We reminisce about the eight years we had together until she started cheating. That we don’t talk about at all. It’s a taboo subject.
“We talk about Gordon, our son. In a way she wants me to be closer than I am to him, but to me he is George’s son. We talk about my giving him a kidney, and she calls it my life-saving gift. We speak about George and what a wonderful guy he was and how he saved her when she was so down after moving to California.
“Gina can’t figure how Jimmy can be so happy all the time with the terrible wives he has, or had. Those are her words for Rosy and Marie. I laugh at her, because I think he has been so damned lucky. Look at the support he has behind him. When something happens to us, he’ll still have so much family left that will care for him.
“We talk over Cheryl’s many marriages and divorces. By the way I really think the husband Cheryl has now is going to stick. I got after her when she married--um, Bob isn’t it? She was complaining about always losing her man and I said maybe she should look inward at herself. I said maybe it wasn’t the husbands who were at fault for leaving, it could well be her. You remember she started therapy a while ago. Let’s hope for the best.”
It seemed like I was talking non-stop and had forever, but I wanted to get back to Gina. That is what Kim asked. “Another thing we do not discuss is my so-called affair with Karen. As far as Gina knows, Karen and I had wild animal sex before that fateful date at Vail where she thought we were going to have an orgy. That’s all in her mind and I haven’t told her otherwise and we don’t talk about it at all. My ex-wife is jealous and I suppose it is mean on my part, but I never told her the truth. Let her feel a little bit how I felt when she cheated.”
“Gordy, you are a bastard, treating your ex like that. Damn it, you’re being mean to me too. Answer my question, now! Are you sleeping with Gina, or not?”
“No. I like the way the situation is right now. It is kind of balanced. Sleeping with her would complicate things and I don’t need any new complications. Happy?”
“You bet!”
”****************
Our conversations brought us around to where Kim and I would like to live in the future. The cold, wet, northwest wasn’t the place we wanted to be in our elder years. The northeast was pretty much out for the same reason. We wanted some place warmer and drier. Kim and I finally purchased a duplex just off I-25 near Albuquerque, New Mexico. Gina’s first visit after we settled in convinced her that she couldn’t bear to have us there without her, so she bought the other half of the duplex from us.
The day that I had the wall breached and an inside entrance constructed between the two quarters ended my two lives. The life with Gina as one and the life with Kim as the other. That night I had free access to either bedroom. It was mine to choose and my life became one with my two wives.
The End
No comments:
Post a Comment