Mom, I’m Home
happyhugo
Romance, Cheating
A Short Story---17,381 words
Copyright (c) 02/01/10
Readers score 6.94
Tony often works out of the country and condones
his wife having a lover. His wife gets blackmailed.
Tony decides it is time for a change and relationships
get reshuffled. Will Seely, his daughter, ever say,
"Hi Mom, I'm home" to her mother?
I twisted the knob of the door that had been waiting twelve years for my hand. Looking down the hall to the kitchen, I could see a woman standing at the stove. The woman was my Mom, older, grayer and looking somewhat sad, not like she had been when I knew her before. Mom apparently felt or heard the door opening, although I had done it as quietly as I could. “Hi Mom, I’m home.”
She turned to face me and with tears brimming in her eyes spoke slowly. “I’m glad you’re home, Tony. It has been so long I thought you must be dead. Can you forgive me for what I did to you twelve years ago? I have suffered every day since.”
“Where’s Pat?”
“Gone. He left eleven months after he forced me to tell you to leave.”
I felt I could come into this home now, with the reason I left not here anymore. I walked towards my mother and we clung to each other. She was sobbing softly, and I had tears in my eyes. Finally she led me to a chair and started making a pot of coffee. She had been making dried beef gravy for her evening meal so she put in a couple more slices of toast to feed me. I watched her as she busied herself doing this. She stopped several times and just looked at me. It was as though she had to remember what I looked like at eighteen and fit it to the man I had become.
I looked at her too. She was still the tall, striking Irish woman that was my Mom. She sat opposite me drinking her coffee while I ate the food I hadn’t had in years. It was as good as I remembered. I felt now I was truly welcome. “Mom, I only have an hour before I have to be back at the motel. I left my daughter alone and I promised I wouldn’t be gone long.”
“You have a daughter? That makes me a grandmother.”
“Yes, her name is Seely. She just turned eight.”
“Is she pretty? I’ll bet she is if she looks like you did when you were that age. You were so cute.”
“I may have been cute at eight, but look at me now. I can’t even be considered handsome. I think Seely is beautiful though. Mom, tell me about you and Pat. I never met anyone I hated more than I did him. You say he left after a few months. What happened? Did you marry him? I know you were planning on it.”
“No, I didn’t marry him, thank God. I think he was after the money that I received from your father’s life insurance. He kept wanting to borrow money and said when we married it would be his anyway. He pushed me too hard and I began to have my doubts about him. I quietly went to Bill Grogan at the police department to see if he had a record. I wish I had done it before I made you leave. Pat was just no good and had done this to other women. By the time I found out, you had disappeared and I have been waiting all this time for you to come home.”
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you.”
“He was a con man through and through. He was so charming and knew just how to push my buttons. I have to say, your father and I loved each other and we had a pretty good time in bed. Pat though, made a practice of seducing women and he made me reach places I didn’t think it possible for a woman to reach.” Mom was shaking her head at the memories. “I have to admit I miss that part of him and I’m not ashamed of it either.” Again she was lost momentarily in reverie.
“What about you? Do you have a wife to go with the daughter you have?”
“I have one, but we have our problems. She isn’t much of a mom either. She told me a week ago that if I didn’t like her lifestyle to leave and take Seely with me. I don’t think she thought I would, but I did and here I am.”
“When can I meet Seely? Why don’t you both stay here with me? A motel is no place for a child. How does Seely feel about being away from her Mom?”
“Seely is okay as long as I am near her or she knows where I am. Would you go with me when I pick her up? She is pretty excited to think she has a grandmother and wants to meet you. I’ve told her a lot about you ... all the good things I remembered about growing up. I told her I ran away when I left home so don’t say anything otherwise.” This brought tears to Mom’s eyes, because she had sent me away when I couldn’t get along with Pat.
Mom got her sweater and while we were driving to get Seely, I reflected on my parents. We were a solid middle class family. Dad was a fireman and was killed when a forest fire overran his escape route. Mom was wild with grief for over a year and then Pat moved in with her.
He eased into her confidence and before I was aware, he had her totally in his control. I watched him and I suppose I resented him for I missed my father. Dad had been my friend and companion all through my youth. I felt a year was too short a time for Mom to replace him. This led to many heated arguments between us. Looking back now, I think this was all staged by Pat to isolate Mom from me. He was subtle and before I knew it Mom gave me an ultimatum to get along with Pat or leave. I left, and at eighteen I was on my own.
Mom asked, “What did you do when you left here?”
“I joined the Army. I signed up for the engineers. It was the smartest thing I ever did. Luckily there was no overseas duty and I was able to go to night school as I fulfilled my service duties. When I finished my enlistment, I had a skill and I had the education to move right into civilian life. I’ll tell you how I met my wife and where I am with her now sometime when we have more time. I’ve been very careful not to disparage Seely’s mother in front of her. I do not want to turn Seely against her mother.”
I was afraid Mom would rush to Seely when they first met and demand a hug or kiss. She was too wise for that, as I soon saw. Mom kept her distance when I introduced Seely to her grandmother although Seely could see love shining in Mom’s eyes. “Daddy says you were a wonderful mom to him. He must have made you awful unhappy when he ran away. I hope you forgive him.”
“I forgave him as soon as he ran away. He likely felt he had reason to leave. I’m so glad he has finally come home and I’m glad he brought you with him.”
“Can I call you Grandma?”
“You certainly can.”
“Seely why don’t you start packing. We are going to move into Grandma’s house. You can sleep in the same bed I did when I was growing up. Grandma is a great cook. She will teach you how to cook just like she did me.”
“My Mom said that I shouldn’t have to learn to cook. That is what Mexicans do and we shouldn’t take their jobs from them.”
“I know Seely, but we don’t have many Mexicans living here, so we cook for ourselves.” I glanced at Mom, and she understood that my wife was used to hiring help to cook and probably do other chores as well.
Later that evening I tucked Seely into my childhood bed. As I kissed her goodnight, Seely asked me if it was all right to ask her new grandma for a kiss before she went to sleep. Rita Morales, our housekeeper, usually kissed my daughter goodnight because my wife, Pam, was often out at her various charities and clubs. Rita had slowly taken over a lot of the care of Seely. Pam withdrew from her motherhood duties as time went on.
“Of course you can ask her for anything you want. She will do anything for you. She is so happy that I came home and brought her a granddaughter.”
When Mom came down after waiting by Seely’s bedside for sleep to come to her granddaughter, she said, “Alright Tony, tell me about your wife? It doesn’t sound like you are very happy in your marriage.”
“Maybe not in most peoples eyes. The thing is, I still love Pam ... some. The biggest problem is she has too much money and too much time to spend it. Another thing, I think Pam loves me just as much as I love her. We are just from two totally different backgrounds. Me, I’m from the middle class and she is from the rich and famous. Things were going well for us until shortly after Seely’s fourth birthday. Pam’s grandmother died and left her a huge amount of money. About the same time I was away for several weeks working on an engineering project.
“When I returned, Pam confessed she had been unfaithful to me, but didn't give me details. I couldn’t stand for her to tell me the circumstances. She admitted that when I went away she probably would be unfaithful again with the same person. We compromised. I said that if she didn’t humiliate me and kept her indiscretions from reaching my eyes or ears, I would still stay with her. This was in consideration of Seely.
“This is the way things were until a few months ago. She wanted to go on a cruise with some friends. When she came back she had changed. She has even denied me sex and it has been one argument after another. A week ago she said she was going on another cruise. It would be to Greece this time and she would be gone three weeks. I asked her not to go. Seely needs more of her attention. That didn’t seem to register with her at all. Then I said she couldn’t go. This is when she told me to leave if I wanted to and to take Seely with me.
“For some reason, you have been in my thoughts more and more as the years have gone by. I made a phone call to an engineering firm here in town and I was assured of a job if I cared to relocate. I was hired this morning. Pam doesn’t know I have left her and I have called her father and mother to inform them that I couldn’t be reached. I did say I would call Pam when she returned from Greece. This is where I stand now with my wife.”
“Are you going to divorce her?”
“I don’t know. First I have to find out what her problem is. I’m going to wait until I talk to her. In the meantime I’m going to try to forget that part of my life and pick up with you just like things were before you met Pat. I think you will find Seely a joy to be around. She shows a lot of the same qualities as Pam. I just want to emphasize what the good qualities are.”
Seely very seldom mentioned her mom in the next two weeks, but she did want to know if she could call Rita Morales. Rita was more of a mother to Seely than Pam had been recently. When they talked, Seely raved to Rita about the new grandmother she had. I even had a few words for Rita myself about the one thing we had in common, other than Seely. I often helped Rita evenings in studying for her citizenship.
I was enjoying my new job and found it suited me better than my previous one. Seely had about seven weeks until school started again in the fall. Hopefully things would be settled between Pam and me before she returned to school. Mom was doting on her grandchild. She was lavishing all the affection she could on Seely to make up to me for my years of absence. Eventually I determined that Pam should have returned from Greece by now.
I called the house. Rita said she was back in town, but not home this evening. I called my mother-in-law and got the same answer to my query. I phoned the next morning about eight and got a sleepy “hello.”
“Pam, it’s me.”
“Tony?”
“Yeah.”
“You aren’t home and neither is Seely. Where are you?”
“You told me to leave and to take Seely with me, so I did. You might as well know, I quit my job and have moved out of town. I figured you weren’t interested in me or your daughter anymore, so even with all of your money there was no point in staying with you longer. Besides that, Seely was picking up on too many of your bad habits. I want her to have my values, not yours.”
There was silence on the line and then I heard a shuddering intake of breath. “God Tony, I don’t know what to say. You are so right about so many things, but you don’t know why. I’m in bad trouble and it is getting worse all the time. I should have talked to you when I came back from that first cruise, but I thought I had the problem solved. Now it is very much worse.”
“Maybe you better tell me all about it as soon as possible. I’m still your husband and I still have a little love for you, just not as much as I did.”
“You probably won’t love me at all when I tell you what has happened to me and what I have been doing. I have to though, because it has become more than I can handle. Can you come home so I can talk to you?”
“No I can’t. I have just started a new job and I can’t leave. You will have to come here. Seely is here with me and is being well taken care of. You might show a little interest in her as well. You haven’t even asked anything about her except to verify that she is gone.”
“Give me your address, and I will come as soon as possible. I’m pretty sick, but I will be there as soon as I am able to travel.”
“How sick are you?”
“I don’t know for sure. I seem to have an awful cold that has hung on forever. It could be something even worse.”
“This is something you may have picked up sexually?”
“Yes.”
“Am I at risk?”
“I don’t think so, but you better have some tests done. Now you know why I have been denying you sex these last few months.”
“Is there anything I can do before you get here?”
“Just take care of Seely and yourself. I’ll call you when I get into town, but it may be several days before you hear from me. Bye Tony, and I don’t really blame you for moving out on me.”
I called my mother-in-law and asked if she knew what was wrong with Pam. She didn’t know. She said she was acting like she had the flu. I was really concerned. Did Pam have AIDS? How about me? Had I contracted it from her? I immediately called the clinic to get tested for STDs. I found that it would take several days to either confirm or deny if I had contracted anything.
Every morning when I woke, I lay in bed asking myself how I felt before getting up. I seemed to feel okay. This is the way I started every day, but the fear was always present. Three days later the reports started coming back from the clinic. They were all negative, which was a relief. When I was questioned about when I thought I might have been in contact with a carrier, I said it had been at least three months. The doctor said he was positive I was free of any diseases.
I called Pam that evening and told her I was confirmed clean. She was so relieved to hear that she hadn’t transmitted. She informed me she was feeling much better herself and would be coming to talk to me within a week. I asked if she had any results back from the tests she had taken. She said she had some, but the one she was the most worried about would take a few weeks to be sure she was safe.
I still had not heard any “I’m sorrys.” I didn’t know what my wife had been up to for the last few months, but it must have been pretty bad to have caused her to not care about me and Seely like she had done. Knowing Pam, I felt most likely she wasn’t totally to blame. I couldn’t think of anything I had done to cause her to stray, to the point of wanting to rid herself of me anyway. I know I had condoned her infidelity for years, but she had been totally discreet and if she hadn’t told me about it herself, I would never have known.
I had given Pam my cell number and one Thursday afternoon she rang me at work telling me she was in town and was staying in a motel. It was a coincidence because she had booked herself into the same one I had before I went to meet my mother. The coincidence ... she was in the same room that I and Seely had booked. Before she hung up she said she had Rita with her.
Pam met me at the door when I went into the motel. Pam looked like she had been through hell. She was thinner than she was several weeks ago. Also the bloom was off of her. There was just no glow to her at all. Usually even when Pam was sick she kept herself made up. That was gone now. I walked into her with my arms out and gave her a hug. When I went to kiss her, she turned her face so my kiss landed on her cheek. And stiff, there was no relaxing her body.
“Hi Pam. It’s been weeks.”
“I know. Come in and we’ll talk. I brought Rita with me. I’ve told her all about my troubles and she has helped me survive. We can talk in front of her or she can go for a coffee somewhere.”
“Either way, I don’t care.” I went in and Rita stood and came across the room to me.
“It is so wonderful to see you, Mr. O’Rourk. How is Seely? Can I see her today?”
“Of course. We’ll go there as soon as Pam and I finish talking.” I noticed that it was Rita who asked for Seely, not Pam.
“This is going to take awhile. Please don’t say anything until I finish telling you about the past several months. You remember when I told you I was unfaithful and you accepted that. As long as you weren’t made aware of it on any level we could continue as we had been on the surface?
“The man’s name is John Bordon. I have been as faithful to him as I have been to you. What I am saying is that I have two men in my life that I have loved equally although I am married to you. John accepted this because he is married to a woman who is in an institution and he couldn’t marry even if you and I divorced.
“A few months ago my banker, Tim Rowell, saw John and me out together and we were acting too much like lovers. He contacted a private investigator with the idea of getting evidence for blackmail. Tim had always flirted with me at the bank, but I was never interested. Anyway, he got some very explicit evidence against me and John. He said if I didn’t go on a cruise with him and two of his friends, he would mail the evidence to all my friends. This included you John, my folks, and to some of the charities I belong to. He promised that it was a one-time thing and then he would leave me alone.
“Foolish me, I believed him. On that cruise he kept piling up more evidence of me having all kinds of sex with the three of them. When I came home, he left me alone for a few weeks and then he demanded that I be with him once in a while of an evening. Then he let his two buddies know what he was doing and now I was having to take care of them too. Then they got together and demanded I take a longer cruise with them. That is when I told you I didn’t care about you and Seely. I planned on going overboard during the cruise, but they kept me in my cabin all the time.
“We were a few days out from port when I came down with a terrible cold. I went to sick bay and talked to the doctor. He could see that I was worn down and observed the rough abuse marks on me. I started crying and told him part of what was happening to me.
“Do you want those men to stay away from you he asked, and I said I did.
“He said he could do this two ways. He could report them to the captain, or he could scare them into leaving me alone. I opted for him to scare them. He gave me a note for the three of them to get into sick bay immediately, as I most likely had a case of STDs. My white blood count was way too low and as long as they were having sex with me, they should be checked.”
I stared at Pam. “What happened then?”
“The doctor had really scared me too, for I was sick and they were the only ones I had associated with. I didn’t know who they had for sex partners other than me. They are all married, but I didn’t know their wives. Maybe they weren’t any better than their husbands. Anyway the stuff hit the fan when I gave them the note from the doctor. We got into a fight and I accused them of giving me VD. They said it was something I had contracted somewhere else and not from them. The fight ended when they left my cabin and headed for sick bay.
“I was alone the rest of the trip. I didn’t get off the ship even when we were in Greece. I wasn’t bothered by Tim. Actually I spent the time thinking about what my life had become and where it was going. I was hoping I didn’t have a disease, but if I had contracted something, I only had myself to blame. I realized that I didn’t deserve you or Seely or even John Bordon.”
I guess Pam was being as honest with me as she was capable of, but including John Bordon in the list with me and Seely, hit me where it hurt. Pam didn’t seem to realize that I would condone her stepping out if I didn’t know about it, but she was now telling me she loved this other person as much as she did me.
I looked at Rita and she could see my pain. I said nothing and the silence grew until Pam became aware that something she had said upset me. “Tony, I’m sorry. What I just said was so thoughtless. I’m so used to thinking of both you and John as my loves. You really do love me don’t you and I have hurt you so. I’ve screwed my life up and I wish now that I had thrown myself overboard.”
“You didn’t and I suppose I’m glad you didn’t even though I may feel differently later. Why don’t we all go and meet my mother and you can see Seely. I feel bad for Seely more than I do for myself. You have been a terrible mother to her. It is about time you decided life isn’t all about you, but about the people that love you.” Pam went silent and stayed like that on the way over to Mom’s house.
I entered the house with Pam slightly to my rear. Seely spotted her mother as Pam drew even with me. “Hi Mom, you left Dad and me and I was wondering if you were ever coming to see me again.” Finally she saw Rita who was standing behind Pam and me and squealed, “Rita, oh I’ve missed you so.” She ran and hugged Rita.
The affection shown for Rita wasn’t lost on Pam, or my mother. I had to say that this gave Mom a poor opinion of my wife just from what she had observed in the last two minutes. After introductions, Mom said she would get supper. Rita followed Mom into the kitchen with Seely clinging to her as if she didn’t want to lose her.
Pam and I sat on the couch in the living room. We couldn’t think of much to say. Pam did say she was feeling much better and thought she would be well soon. That is if the specter of the dreaded AIDS didn’t make itself known. We decided that we needed to talk in depth about where our life was heading. I suggested that Rita stay here with Mom and Seely tonight. I would go back to the motel with her and then she and I could talk.
I had to work tomorrow, so Pam and I went back to the motel before it was Seely’s bedtime. I told Seely that Rita would tuck her in and give her a kiss goodnight and might even sleep in the same room if she wanted. She did. At the motel, it was strange sleeping in the same room my wife again. We had separate beds at home and mostly went our own way, and had for the last few years. The last few months we rarely saw each other.
“Tony, can you tell me what you are going to do about me? I have been the most unfaithful and thoughtless wife. I am just realizing how bad I have treated you. Also, maybe you can tell me what you think is wrong with me. You must have thought about it a lot. You probably hate me.”
“I don’t hate you. You haven’t treated me very well. I have a whole list of what I think your problems are. Do you really want to hear what I think?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, but stop me anytime if I get carried away. First, you have always had too much money. It wasn’t too bad before your grandmother gave you so much. When you received your inheritance you thought, ‘Why does Tony have to work? I can support him.’ Pam, I don’t want to be supported. I love what I do and I’m good at it. My reputation says so and I’m proud of it.
“Next, I’ve never seen any affection between you and your parents. I suppose they care about you, but you wouldn’t know it to see you with them. You treat Seely the same way. A kid has to have somebody to love and to love them. Look at Rita and how she loves Seely. Do you feel any of that?
“I don’t suppose I have a very high sex drive and maybe you have a higher one. You must have if you have taken a lover all these years. I just gave up making advances when I wanted sex, because more often then not you turned me down. Then again sex with you has been great sometimes. I see now I should have been more demanding of you and not let you have your own way so much. I guess I have put all that energy into my work to compensate. Do you know that the firm I used to work for offered to double my salary to keep me with them? That was because I am so good at what I do.
“You seem to always take the easy way out of something. You say you were blackmailed and had to comply. Stop and think, one letter to the bank manager’s boss would have solved your problem. Instead you let it go and maybe it might turn out to be your death sentence. I hope not, for lurking in your soul somewhere there is a good person. You’re just too damned beautiful and you have too much money.”
“You’re going to divorce me, aren’t you?”
“I think so. When you refused to stop going on the cruise and told me to leave and take Seely with me, I made up my mind we were done. I haven’t started any proceedings yet, because I wanted to have this talk. I came home to my Mom. She kicked me out twelve years ago and through my being so stubborn, we have had a lot of heartache. I’m back now resolving those issues. I should never have let things go so long with her.”
Pam didn’t look at me when she made the comment, “I think you are smart in planning to divorce me. I’ve thought a lot about how I have used you. You’ve let me do things no other husband would or should let his wife do. If the world knew our situation, they would say you are the worst kind of wimp. I know that isn’t true. I think you just couldn’t let me go because you loved me so much. I’ve thrown that love away through my stupidity and selfishness.
“Not only that, I have lost Seely as well. I have to be honest, I never gave Seely too much thought and I suppose that makes me an unnatural mother. I watched Seely with Rita tonight and the love they have together finally got to me. I find I ache to be treated the same way by her.”
“At least you have someone to go to when the divorce is final. This John Bordon must be waiting for you.”
“I don’t know that he is or will be. I talked to him immediately when I came home from the cruise. To be honest he doesn’t think much of me either. Not for himself as much as for the way I have treated you. You definitely have an ally in John. In a way you two are a lot alike and I know you would be best friends if I wasn’t in the picture. Right now I’m feeling pretty down and awful lonely and I deserve every bit of it.”
“I’m sorry Pam. You’ve brought this all on yourself. I do feel sorry for your situation, but I’m beyond helping you. Now I have to work tomorrow and need my sleep. In the morning we’ll go back to Mom’s for breakfast.”
God, this woman had caused me untold heartache and still I loved her. I just had to harden my heart and get over her. It took me a long time to get to sleep. It didn’t help to hear the person in the next bed quietly crying. When I awoke in the morning, I could hear the shower running. I hoped Pam wasn’t going to be long because my kidneys were screaming for relief. I sat on the edge of the bed waiting.
It wasn’t long before Pam came out of the bathroom. She had thrown a dressing gown over her shoulders. Startled at seeing me awake, she quickly turned her back and buttoned it up before turning back to me. “I’m sorry, you didn’t need to see me undressed under the circumstances.”
“That’s okay. You are my wife and you are still one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. That is something I can appreciate and will always remember forever.”
“That is one thing I will always love about you. No matter how angry you are at me, you can still manage a compliment.” Pam came towards me and leaned down and brushed my lips with hers before continuing around the bed. I headed for the bathroom.
Mom and Rita were laughing together when we reached the kitchen. Rita gave us a long look as we came in. Seely was flipping pancakes and hollered a “hi Daddy” as I stood watching her. I said to her, “Feed me child,” as I sat down to breakfast. Pam stood, not being a part of the family unit. Usually Pam was the one to be at ease in any group, but she was out of her element here.
Mom finally saw this and said to relieve the tension, “Pam, there are cups in that cupboard over the sink. Pour Tony some coffee. He has to get moving. Pour some for Rita and me too. There is juice in the fridge for Seely.” Pam flushed a little at Mom’s bidding. She had seldom served me before and definitely never Rita, her housekeeper.
Rita, sitting across the table from me, started to rise. I shook my head for her to remain seated. Pam’s hand was shaking just a bit when she poured the coffee. I said, “Thanks, Pam.”
Rita said, “Thanks Mrs. O’Rourk.”
Mom spouted, “There is only one Mrs. O’Rourk in this house and she had better be called ‘Mom.’ There is a Rita, a Pam, a Seely and a Tony. Is that clear to everyone?” Seely started giggling and soon we all were. That is the way things were when I headed out for work. And I was glad to go! Family problems could be pushed back for a few hours.
The evening brought its own problems. I think Pam wanted a repeat of last night. Christ I was divorcing her and seeing her practically naked wasn’t going to make it easy for me. The decision was finally made that Rita and Pam would stay at the motel, which made Seely unhappy because she wanted to be near Rita. Seely made so much noise it was finally agreed that she could go and sleep with Rita.
Mom and I were alone later in the evening. Mom threw out the statement, “You have a beautiful wife, Tony. I understand that she is very well-to-do.”
“Yes she is. Sometimes she is a good wife too. Not so much lately though, and I told her last night that I was thinking of filing for a divorce. I am going to miss her and in a lot of ways I feel sorry for her.”
“Keep her then.”
“No, I have to think about Seely. Pam has been a poor wife, but she has been a poorer mother.”
“Rita has been telling me about her. She made me promise I wouldn’t interfere. Rita thinks her parents are the ones to blame for the way she is.”
“I agree, but the damage has been done, so I’m bailing out.”
“I hope you won’t be sorry. What are your plans for Seely? You know Pam will get her if she fights for her in court.”
“We haven’t talked about Seely yet. I think Pam and I can come to some agreement that we can all live with.”
“Well you better make sure that Rita is employed by one of you. If you pass Seely back and forth between you, you better plan on having Rita there to take care of her.”
“I don’t think either Pam or I would have it any other way.”
Mom hit me with a shocker. “You know Rita is in love with you, don’t you? What are you going to do about that situation?”
I stared at my mother. “I didn’t know. I wish you hadn’t told me. Christ, life is complicated isn’t it?”
“You couldn’t do any better than Rita. She is loyal and smart. I’ll bet you didn’t know she has a degree from the university did you? She told me she wanted to get her citizenship before trying for a teaching license and you have helped her with that a lot. You also might take a good look at her too. Your wife’s beauty is spectacular, but Rita is every bit as lovely. I bet she wouldn’t be a cold fish either as I think your wife must be.”
I had a lot to think about tonight. Wasn’t I ever going to get a good night’s sleep again? Saturday and Sunday were pleasant days. Mom treated Pam just like she did Rita, being warm and friendly to both. She questioned Pam about me and our life together. Pam was very forthcoming about the early years of our marriage and telling her how happy we had been. She was evasive about the last two or three years and Mom didn’t press for answers.
Sunday afternoon Pam asked if Seely could go home with her. After careful consideration I said yes she could go with her. I said that I would make the trip myself the next weekend, as I had some things I needed to take care of. Seely cried when I told her she was going home with her mother, but I said that Rita would be with her all the time which seemed to mollify her.
Before the next weekend I said, “Mom, why don’t you travel with me? I would like you to see where I have lived for the last few years. I have some unpleasant business to do and I want someone to keep Pam from thinking about what I am doing.”
Chapter Two
I made a call to John Bordon on Wednesday. When he came on the line I talked fast. “Mr. Bordon, this is Tony O’Rourk. You and I have a common interest in Pam O’Rourk. Recently she has had some problems and I would like to meet with you to see if we can come up with a way to get back at those that have caused her such trouble.”
“This is a joke, right? You’re telling me I know a Pam O’Rourk?”
“No this is no joke. Let me ask you? Are you happy with what happened to her on the cruise Pam just got back from? I’m not and I want to get some satisfaction for what she has been subjected to. I have always wanted what is best for Pam and to see her happy. I have known that she has had a lover for a long time and I have been okay with that as long as she never hit me in the face with it. So I know you know Pam and I think it is time we met.”
There was a pause and I didn’t think he was going to answer me. “Okay, I’ll meet you. Where and when?”
“I will be in town Saturday morning. You tell me where your office is and I will meet you there.”
I walked into the downtown offices of the Acme Construction Company at nine Saturday morning. John Bordon was waiting for me. “Mr. O’Rourk, we finally meet. Come into my office.”
I looked at my wife’s lover. He was about my size and good looking, but appeared to be a few years older than me. John looked nervous and well he should. He was being confronted by the husband of a woman he was romantically involved with, and had been for years.
“This is pretty awkward. For the moment, I don’t see why I agreed to meet with you. I take it that you aren’t here to start a fight or anything like that. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I’ve known that you were my wife’s lover almost from your first meeting. For some reason I’ve let her continue to meet. I guess it was the way she looked when she mentioned you. I felt I could live with sharing her. That has all changed. You two weren’t as discreet as you should have been and Pam started getting blackmailed. I’m blaming you for that.” I was staring John right in the face when I said this.
“Anyway this Tim Rowell saw you and evidently hired someone to find out more about her affair with you. He put pressure on her and with two of his friends have been trying to make a slut out of her. I’m afraid they have pretty much succeeded. That is until she came to me and told me all about it.”
“Pam told me about some of it too, when she got back. What is it you want from me?”
“I want to get even with them and I think you are in a better position to do it than I am. There are only three of us that are concerned in this. Pam and you were indiscreet enough for others to become aware and this has shown me up as being a wimp. If you have any feelings for Pam at all, then I feel it is up to you to correct the situation.”
“I assume you have a plan of some sort?”
“Yes, and I’m giving it to you to implement. You have a dozen crews working construction for you. Among that many there must be some that would be willing to do some dirty work. I want those three men roughed up, and when I say roughed up, I mean you can go as far as broken bones and multiple bruises. I also want them humiliated. There are a few gay bars here in town. It would be nice to have some pictures of those three in compromising situations, preferably before they get roughed up.”
I opened up the small satchel I was carrying and took out several bundles of bills and stacked them on John’s desk. “There is $7500 there. Give this to the crew that will do the job. When they hand you the pictures for me, I’ll give you another $7500 for a bonus.”
John was looking at me. His eyes were examining me. I could see his mind wondering what kind of a person would come in and practically order him to commit a felony, several of them in fact. “One thing I want and that is Pam is never to know about this. I think you can do this. It was you that screwed up and have made me look bad. I can imagine those guys snickering about how they took my wife and made a slut out of her, and I never got back at them.”
“You don’t screw around, do you? I’m beginning to think that if you got pissed at me, I would have to watch my own back.”
“You’re lucky Pam told me that she had a lover and that she loved you. This is about equal to the affection she has for me. That is the only reason I’m cutting you the slack I am. So-o-o, you are safe from me. If you continue to see her, for God’s sake be more discreet than you have been in the past.”
I was giving John tacit license to still see my wife. Whether he would or not, I couldn’t tell. I would leave it up to the two of them to decide for themselves. “So can you do those things I require?”
“I think so. Is there any time-line? It is going to take awhile to set up.”
“No time-line, just make sure it gets done and no one gets caught.” Suddenly neither one of us knew what to say. “Have you ever met Seely?”
“Seely, oh yes, your daughter. Pam did say you have a child together. She mentioned her once or twice. How old is she?”
“Eight. Pam isn’t much into motherhood. I guess it goes back to how her folks raised her. Not much affection demonstrated among family members. I’m not surprised she hasn’t talked about her. She has left Seely to me and our housekeeper to provide the love.”
“That’s too bad. I always wanted kids. I had a loving family growing up. I married late and it wasn’t long after that my wife developed a mental condition and has been institutionalized for the last seven years. She is gone now, thank God. She died five weeks ago. I haven’t told Pam yet that she is dead. The funeral took place when she was on the last cruise.”
“I’m sorry. It sounds like it has been rough for you.”
“It was really rough with my wife in the mental hospital until I met Pam. Pam’s different. She never has been demanding and yet she has been a good companion to me the little time we have spent together. She is what I imagined a wife would be like if she was mine. You probably are aware she spent most of her time here when you were off on some projects with your work.”
“I suspected and I’m not surprised. Rita, our housekeeper, must have covered for Pam more than I realized. Have you seen a change in Pam since she went on that first cruise?”
“Yes, and I tried to figure it out. I thought you were giving her grief about me. Even the few times I was with her after that, she was tense and wouldn’t discuss it. When she came back from the last cruise, she told me all about what happened to her. That is why I’m going to help you get even. No woman should be treated like this. How and when did you find out about me?”
“Almost from the second time you two met. After Pam told me she had been unfaithful, I followed her to see with whom. I then hired someone to have you thoroughly checked out and I figured you were good for her while I was out of the country with my job. When I found you didn’t travel in the same circles as Pam and her rich friends, I thought your affair would remain undisclosed. That is what I was aiming for. To her detriment, the affair was brought out into the open, which put us where we are now.”
John was not avoiding my eyes. I thought to myself, as I had before, that if she was going to be unfaithful to me, she had chosen well. I could like John Bordon. “If you can get me the pictures showing Tim Rowell and his friends in a compromising situation, you can UPS a package to my work place and to me personally. I get documents all the time and I am the only one that opens them. It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to ever phone me. When you need the rest of the money, just send a letter stating the job is done and I’ll come back and give it to you.”
“Okay, that sounds good. As I said before, I hope you never get pissed at me.”
“I won’t as long as you treat Pam like I want her treated. I’m leaving you two to work out any problems you might have. At present Pam and I aren’t living together. What our long term situation is hasn’t been decided. I’m sure she will tell you all about it. John, I am glad we finally met. We may see more of each other in the future and I’m sure this little business deal won’t be mentioned to anyone.”
“That is the way I would want it, Tony. You’ll be hearing from me.”
Mom was very impressed with the house that Pam and I had lived in. She couldn’t understand how I would want to leave it to live in her little cottage with her. “Mom, if you want a house just like this, I’ll build you one. I can afford it. Just remember, the bigger the house the more cleaning and upkeep there is. Pam pays Rita almost as much as Dad would be making right now if he was still alive. That’s just for the inside. Outside there are the lawns and flowers and shrubs and all the other things to keep in repair. Your house is so warm and cozy. Tell me, do you feel that way here?”
“No, and I see your point, but it sure is a beautiful place.”
Later that afternoon, Pam was out and Rita and Seely were playing a board game across the room. Rita was half listening to Mom and me talking. “Mom, I met Pam’s male friend this morning. I like him. I don’t feel bad at all that Pam has him for a friend. It is too bad that he hasn’t met Seely yet. I think Seely would like him too, and I know he would love her. He said he was very fond of kids.”
Mom whispered, “You shouldn’t be talking in front of Rita this way. What if she tells Pam?”
“Mom, Rita sometimes keeps secrets from me, but I never keep anything from her.” Rita wasn’t looking at me, but I could see that her face suddenly flushed. I knew that Rita was faithful to Pam and what I had just said would soon be related to the one that paid her each week. I wanted this to happen and Rita knew that it was okay to pass on this conversation.
Late Sunday morning Pam had Rita prepare a brunch so that her parents and Mom could meet. There was the same obvious delineation in cultures. Rich versus middle class. Seely was all over Mom. Although respectful to her other grandparents, she seldom addressed or came close to them. It came up that Seely was expected to go back with me when I suggested she go pack her bag.
Seely asked if Rita could come with us, and I said no, because Pam needed her to keep house. “Rita is going to be awful lonely without me. Can’t she come with us please?” I still said no.
Seely knew it was useless to argue and ended the conversation on her way to pack by saying, “Okay, but Rita is just so much fun and Grandma is fun. When I have both together it is ten times as much fun.” She disappeared up to her room leaving us staring after her. The implication was that Pam and her mother and father were no fun at all.
I cornered Pam before I left. “Pam, I’ll bring Seely back next weekend. I’m not trying to take her away from you. I just want her to be happy.”
“I know. I’m afraid because of ignoring my motherhood duties I have lost her. When my housekeeper garners more love from my child than I do, it tells me just how poorly I’ve acted as a parent.”
“You know you aren’t too old to change. It is just that from now on you are going to have to earn her love. The longer you wait, the harder it is going to be. A baby is willing to give their love to anyone who smiles at them. As a kid gets older they begin to wonder what’s in it for them if somebody smiles. If they want affection and it isn’t there, they go on to someone that will give it to them. That is basically what has happened to you and Seely. You have to be honest in it too, because believe me, a kid can spot dishonesty quicker than you or I can.”
“Where and when did you get so smart about kids?”
“My family. I was loved and cherished by my Mom and Dad until I was eighteen and then my Mom turned dishonest with me. I left, finally finding and turning to you. Even you and I haven’t turned out as well as I hoped, but I am an adult and can cope with it. I don’t know as Seely, being only eight, could continue to love someone that took her love and then didn’t return it. Anyway what I’m trying to say is you can do it if you want to and are willing to expend the effort.”
“Oh I want to, but how?”
“Talk to Rita. I suspect she came from a large family. Ask her if she loved her folks and her brothers and sisters. Then ask her why she loved this one or that one and why she loved this one more than another. What did she do to try to get one to love her if they didn’t already?
“You’re intelligent, look into her feelings as she is explaining. Look at her. I know she likes you, for you pay her extremely well. Rita loves me. Oh I don’t mean for myself, but for the love I have for Seely and the way I respect her. I know you tell her your troubles, but have you ever asked her what you should do if she was in your place? Confidences don’t work very well if it is a one-way street. That is just talk and is not listened to with any degree of expecting a comment.”
“God Tony, I’m beginning to think I didn’t just marry a pretty face.” This made us laugh and we continued to chuckle as it was a standing joke how homely I was. We parted like that.
Seely called Rita every night about six-thirty. Thursday night Seely was startled to have her mother answer the phone. I was watching the news when Seely came in and plopped down beside me. “Dad, I just talked to Mom. She was asking me all kinds of questions about what I did here with you and Grandma. She sounded like she missed me. She never did that before. I didn’t think she even liked me. She never pays any attention to me at all.”
“Well kid, your mom has been having some problems lately. I think things are getting better for her and she is finally realizing that she has someone she should be taking care of better than she has been. If you can give her a chance to make up for forgetting you sometimes, I’ll bet you both will be happier. What do you think?”
“Okay, I guess I can, but she is never going to be as nice as Grandma or Rita.”
Seely and I made the two-hour trip Friday evening and found Pam and Rita waiting for us with dinner all prepared and on the table. I had phoned ahead to tell Pam what time to expect us. Halfway through the meal it came out that Pam had actually worked in the kitchen with Rita getting our meal ready. Pam excused herself with the comment that since she had given up most of her charity work, she needed to find something to occupy her evenings. Pam was now treating Rita more as an equal. This was unheard of just a few short weeks ago.
Pam even helped clear the table and then we sat in the living room. Rita was there with us, but not with us if you can understand that. Pam announced that she had a new outfit for Seely to wear tomorrow. She wanted to visit an old friend who had just lost his wife. She was looking directly at me when she said this. I heard Rita on the other side of the room draw in her breath.
I looked at Pam and then turned to Seely. “Seely this man is most likely very sad about losing someone he loved. It would be okay to say you are sorry for his loss and give him a hug. I think he would like that.”
I was almost asleep when Pam crawled into bed with me. I don’t remember this happening in several years, three at least. “Tony you really are going to divorce me aren’t you? This is your way of sending me off to my lover isn’t it?”
“No Pam, I’ve decided not to divorce you. I’m just trying to have you make up your mind who you want. I’ve decided I don’t want to share you with another man anymore. I like John and I know if you choose him and not me, I will be happy for both of you. If you choose me, he will understand and not impose himself on us. I make good money and can support Seely. You have a lot of money and can support her too. If we do decide to separate, could we make a pact to not go after the other’s assets and just take care of Seely the best way possible?”
“You are asking me to make the decision?”
“Yes, believe it or not, I want what will make you the happiest, but if you stay married to me, we will be renewing our marriage vows and will be expected to abide by them with no exceptions. My work situation is a little more stable, but I still may have to go away for a week at a time. It is going to be hard for me to forget the past few months. I have been pretty badly hurt. Not about John, but your not trusting me with your problems and with your telling me and Seely to leave.
“Other than that, I’m sure if you wanted to work at it, you could make me fall in love with you all over again. You have made a big effort in this one week to connect with Seely. That means everything to me. I hope it continues. Why don’t you think about what you want to do for a month and then decide?”
“Okay then I’ll do that. Tonight though, you are still my husband and I demand my rights to have you make love to me.”
“Pam, I would rather not. I want us to wait until after your decision about a divorce. It has been months for us without sex. Another month waiting, I can live with.”
Pam didn’t argue and left me to sleep alone. To divorce me or not was her choice alone. She had to make the decision and then live with it. She knew me and she knew John, both of us intimately. The one big advantage that John had over me, would be that they would be sleeping together every night, if she chose him.
I slept hard and long. When I finally went down in the morning, Pam and Seely had already departed to see John. Rita came in and sat with me while I ate the breakfast she had waiting for me. “Pam was up early and told me about your conversation last night. What are you going to do Tony, if Pam decides to go to John permanently?”
“I don’t know Rita. I’m trying not to think about it. You know, I feel Pam is a better fit for John than she is for me. Pam has a lot of good qualities, but I have had a chance to see some of her faults. I know if she decides to stay with me I will work harder at the marriage than I did up to this point. That is why I am leaving it up to her. She will be starting over, no matter who she chooses.”
“I think you should decide what you want Tony, not leave it up to Pam. You deserve to be happy too, you know.”
“Thank you for thinking of me. You are a true friend. What are you going to do if the family is split? Have you any plans if that happens?”
“I’m going to be a citizen next week I hope, thanks to you. I have a degree in teaching. I can get my license. I’m going to find someone that loves me and have a couple of kids, buy a home and live happily ever after. That’s the American Dream isn’t it?”
“I’ll help in any way I can.”
“I’ll remember you said that.”
I decided that I didn’t want to face Pam when she came back from meeting John and introducing Seely to him. “Rita would you tell Seely that I had to leave early and give her a kiss for me. I’ll call and talk to her tonight.”
“Okay, but she is going to be very disappointed.”
“I know, but I just can’t face Pam when I know she has been to see John. I’ll talk to her this week.”
Wednesday morning I received an overnight letter, marked “Personal.” It was just a message telling me to meet John at a Motel 6 about halfway between our towns on Friday night. I went early and was waiting when John drove into the parking lot. I stepped over to his car as it came to a stop and he motioned me to get in.
John sat with a folder on his lap and bag on the seat beside him. He immediately started talking. “Hi Tony, here’s what I have done. I hired an escort service to perform sex with Tim Rowell and his friends. Actually one of them is Tim’s brother-in-law as they are married to sisters. The other man was married, but now divorced. They were pretty rough on the girls so I had to give them a bonus. I did get some great sex shots of the bunch of them in action. Just as the girls were leaving, four of my guys bulled their way into the room and took charge.
“What a scared bunch of pussies they were. Of course they were naked and extremely vulnerable. All my guys had guns and directed Tim and his two buddies to have oral sex with each other. We got some good shots of them doing a round robin, or train or whatever you want to call it. Then we produced some strap-on dildoes and made them sodomize each other that way. I’ve got all the pictures here and I’m still way under budget.”
“Where did you do this? At some motel?”
“No, actually it was in the divorced guy’s home. While he was at work I had a person I know install some cameras. All I had to do then was bring the girls in from out of town. The girls set them up to be invited back to his home. From then on it was just a matter of timing and it worked like a charm, if I do say so.”
“What about your men? Will any of them be recognized?”
“I don’t think so. We were all wearing sunglasses, baseball caps and coveralls.”
“You were there too?”
“Yeah. You aren’t the only one that wanted to get even. I wanted this to go down just right, so I went and directed everything myself. I do have a suggestion though. I don’t think beating them up like you wanted would be a good idea. Why don’t you use what you have to humiliate them and then if that isn’t enough we can hit them later with a beating. I tell you I don’t want to get caught with any of this. If they get beat up, the authorities will have to investigate and somehow it may come back on us.”
“Good thinking. Did you get to remove all of your cameras and equipment?”
“Of course. And I’ll bet right now Tim is waiting for the other shoe to drop. I made the comment that the public and their wives were going to love their performance. I also have included in this package a lot of home addresses and clubs they belong to. Their places of business are right at the top of the list. The two that are married to sisters belong to the same church so the minister’s address is there too, along with some of their in-laws. Those three are going to find out that blackmail can come back to bite a person.
“Tony, there are also two tapes here in the bag. The same action, but from different angles. I think I have covered everything you wanted.”
“You have and I thank you. On another subject, you met my daughter last weekend, didn’t you?”
“Yes and she is the sweetest thing. Do you know she came over to me and said she was so sorry my wife died. She actually had tears in her eyes when she said that. She is a wonderful little person. Pam said that you knew she was going to meet me and you were okay with that. She also told me last night when she called that you said you weren’t going to divorce her, but wouldn’t stand in her way if she, herself, instigated the suit.”
“That’s right. I don’t know what Pam wants. I told her that I wouldn’t be sharing her with anyone any longer if she decided to stay with me. I would really work to make her happy if we renewed our vows, but within the next month, she would have to make up her mind to stay and be true or look somewhere else for her love. You have been involved with her for the last three years and you know her almost as well as I do. She just has to choose.”
“Fair enough. If she chooses to stay with you, then I promise I won’t interfere in your marriage again.”
“I guess everything is up to Pam then.” I shook John’s hand as I got out of his vehicle. “I’ll get going now, and you let me know if you hear that Tim Rowell is having domestic problems or problems at his place of employment. Okay?”
Mom asked me what I was up to for I hadn’t been home after work. “I’m just getting some payback for the trouble some guys caused Pam.”
“Good. Sometimes I think we should go back to the old testament and ‘an eye for an eye,’ and, you know the saying.”
“Well, I don’t know as I would go that far, but I sure want to cause them grief.” Later in my room, I perused all of the items John had given me and after Mom went to bed, I put the tapes in and watched them. Pretty damned explicit.
The next morning I took the tapes to the person in my office and asked him to block out the faces of all except the three principals. He came to me after his first viewing. “Are you blackmailing these people? If you are, I’m not having anything to do with it.”
“No I’m not. This is just retaliation for a person that was blackmailed. I have never met any of the subjects and don’t expect to have any dealings with them.”
“Well I still don’t want to have anything to do with it. However, I will give you the name of someone that will give you what you want. God, don’t tell anyone you showed this to me. I never saw anything so raw.”
It was going to be next week Tuesday before I had what I wanted. In the meantime at a distant post office, I picked up a bunch of Priority Mail mailers and enough stamps to mail the letters and packages. Tuesday night I drove to another post office and dropped them into a pickup box. Friday afternoon I received a terse message from John, “The shoe has dropped.” There, I thought to myself, “Pam, you have been avenged.”
When I arrived at my former home, Pam was waiting to tell me the rumors that were floating around about Tim Rowell, his brother-in-law and the buddy they hung out with. They had all been fired from their respective jobs and the sisters had kicked their husbands out, declaring they didn’t know they were married to such perverts. Not only that, they were persona non gratis all over town.
“Did you have anything to do with this, Tony?” I shook my head no. “John says he doesn’t know anything either. I wonder who did this.”
“What happened anyway?” I was playing dumb.
“Somebody told me the town has been flooded with tapes and photos of those guys that blackmailed me doing really gross things. It is even said they were screwing each other. They never acted gay when they were abusing me.”
“Has anybody bothered you?”
“No.”
“It must be somebody that they did something to besides you.”
“I hope so.”
“Have you decided what you are going to do yet? I mean whether you are going to stay with me or not?”
“No, and John hasn’t been any help in me making up my mind either. He says he won’t come between you and me, but if you and I separate, he wants the chance to date me. When I see you, I remember how good you have always been to me. And lately I’ve come to enjoy Seely. You have shown me how to get her to love me and she is starting to. I appreciate that. I know you don’t want to hear this, but when I am near John, I just want to melt into his arms. Damn it Tony, why don’t you divorce me?”
“I can’t. I mean, I won’t. This is a problem you created for yourself. Why don’t you sit down and analyze how you feel about John. Can you bear to be without him? Can you know he is across town and you can’t ever go to him again? Do the feelings you have for him mean you could never be just friends? I don’t know your feelings so I can’t answer for you.
“With me, you are married and we have a daughter together. That isn’t going to change and we will always be joined by her. A couple of weeks ago you offered me sex. I loved the offer and if you stay with me, I promise you I will see that I will fulfill your every desire in that area. The thing is, we haven’t had much sex lately, or at least I haven’t. That just proves that we can go without sex together over long periods of time and still love each other. This doesn’t help you yet, does it?”
“No, not much.”
We didn’t get to continue our conversation because we heard a door open and slam and then Seely shout, “Mom, I’m home. Is Dad here? I saw his car.” She came running in. I got to see a look of joy momentarily cross Pam’s face before Seely was in my arms with a hug. I knew it was the “Mom, I’m home” that put the joy on Pam’s face.
Rita came in with a look of pleasure on seeing me. I took her hand and gave it a welcome squeeze. There was a big difference in dinner that night. All three women worked at serving the meal. Before this Rita would have served us and then quietly eased into her seat nearest the kitchen. Now Pam was as likely to get up for something as Rita. That is if Seely wasn’t contained and got up first, for she was a bundle of energy.
Rita and Pam sat beside each other. The contrast was startling. Pam was blonde and blue-eyed with an alabaster complexion. Rita was just the opposite. Her skin was creamy which must have come down from a distant Indian ancestor. Her eyes were as black as coal and she had long dark lashes. Her hair shone with purple highlights, it was so dark. The two women were different in body too. Pam was tall, thin and small breasted, whereas Rita was shorter with larger breasts and more generous hips.
I was brought out of my reverie by Pam saying, “Tony you are staring at Rita and making her uncomfortable. What were you thinking?”
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t staring. I was lost in thought about a problem at work.”
Pam accepted that, but Rita flashed me a smile, just as if she had read my thoughts and liked it. What would she have thought if she had read my mind when I was comparing her full lips with Pam’s narrow patrician fine-line ones.
Chapter Three
I played with Seely all evening. When she went to bed, Rita went to her quarters and Pam and I continued our conversation that had been interrupted. “Tony, let me ask you, what have you got out of our marriage? I mean, are you glad you married me nine years ago?”
“Yes I am. I’ll admit it could have been better at times, especially lately. Overall I am glad I met and married you. The best thing is you gave me Seely. Our life together hasn’t turned out to be like the one my parents had. That was too much to expect and I have been sorrowfully disappointed at times. I suppose if my work hadn’t taken me away so much, we would have stayed closer to each other.
“It was my mistake to allow you to take a lover. I wouldn’t do that again if I had it to do over. That was when we were younger and now that we are older I will expect you to be mine and mine only. Seely will soon be aware of people and their relationships. You chose a path, but it is now time to make a change.
“I want my daughter to have the same values that I have, but haven’t displayed the way I should. I think John has those same values, and maybe even stronger ones. If you choose him, you will be watched closer than I have watched you. Then again he will be with you more than I have been because of my work, and maybe that is what you need.
“I will always be your friend, no matter what you decide. That part of our life won’t change and I know we will bring up Seely to be a credit to both of us.” I had the feeling that what I had said today was going to influence Pam in some way, and it was her decision and hers only. The evening ended with us still each in our separate beds.
I lay in bed thinking over all the things I had said to my wife. I had given her the choice of whether to choose me or John. Suddenly, the thought crossed my mind that I should have made the break and stated I wanted the divorce. No one would fault me. The way my wife treated me, I certainly had just cause. Well, we would see how it went when Seely went back to school at summer’s end. There were some nice women that worked for the same company as I did. I could choose one of them, or, and there was always Rita!
Summer was winding down. I began to wish that I hadn’t given Pam a whole month to decide. Seely was going to have to go back to school and as much as I hated it, I knew that she would have to stay with her mother. That meant traveling to see her on weekends even if we stayed together. I liked my new employers and I liked being close to Mom. Mom treated me more like a brother than a son. I was always kidding her that she needed to find a man to make love to her and I always was reminded of the fact that my love life wasn’t any better than hers. I had the feeling that somewhere, sometime, Mom was going to find someone she could enjoy life with.
Wednesday afternoon I called Pam and said that the company was having an awards benefit. It was a week from this Saturday and everyone was expected to attend with their spouse or boy/girlfriend as the case may be. Pam was very noncommittal, just saying that I would be accompanied. I saw why when the mail arrived at my desk Thursday afternoon. There were two letters, one of them an overnight, the other a two-day. I opened the two-day and found that it contained divorce papers. The other one just stated that Pam would have a suitable date on my arm to attend the awards. She also begged that I meet her a week from Sunday to explain her decision to Seely.
Pam made it clear that she had made up her mind. Okay, so now I knew. I decided I needed the rest of the day off and tomorrow too. I headed home to tell my Mom about it. She was supportive, of course. I said I thought I would head to my old home town and get a lawyer. I wasn’t going near Pam so I would get myself a motel room.
I booked in and headed down the block to find a nice dining place. I lingered over my meal and then decided I could stand a drink. I found a pretty upscale lounge and parked myself on a stool at the bar. I guess I was on my third drink when I realized someone was behind me. I looked in the mirror over the bar and saw John Bordon with a couple of businessmen standing there.
“Tony O’Rourk, is that you? What are you doing here?”
“Finding myself a lawyer.”
“Hey fellas. I’m going to be talking with Tony a few minutes. I’ll see you at the next meeting.” He slid onto the seat next to me.
John suggested we get a booth. When we sat down I said, “The loser always buys the drinks for the winner. What are you having?” The waitress brought that round and then the next and then when she wouldn’t serve us anymore she called a cab for us. John was practically falling down and I couldn’t remember what motel I was booked into. The cabby was getting impatient so I said, “What the hell, take me home,” and I gave him my old home address.
I was leaning on both the doorbell and the door when Pam opened it and we fell in. John was totally blitzed and never stirred. I looked up from the floor and poked John. “Hey buddy, our love has arrived.”
“What in hell are you doing here Tony? How come John is with you?”
“I think I am here to get a lawyer to save my daughter from the big bad witch.”
Rita roused me at daylight. “You better get cleaned up before Pam sees you. She cried most all night, she is so mad about you and John. I’ve got coffee and a hangover remedy for both of you. Also in the downstairs bath there is a razor and comb. You better use it.” Even hung over as I was I could see a smile hidden behind Rita’s face. I smiled back.
Pam came into the kitchen breathing fire. “Okay, what the hell is this all about? I thought you were working. I take it you got the papers I sent you. What are you doing here? I didn’t think I was going to see you until a week from Sunday.”
“Damn it Pam, you aren’t the only one with an agenda here. I came into town to get a lawyer. John and I met accidentally and had a few drinks. Too many as it appears. I’m not happy with the way you and your papers reached me. I talked to you Wednesday on the phone. Why didn’t you tell me that you had mailed the papers already?
“Another thing, you promised someone will go with me to the awards dinner. Who would that be? You going to hire someone from an escort service for me? You are still my wife and I expect you to be with me, as long as we are still married.”
John spoke, “This is pretty embarrassing for me. I think you better call me a cab so I can leave and you can settle this in private.”
“Nah, John, stick around. Pam is about ready to apologize and so am I. Since you are an interested party, you might wait for us to finish this and then we’ll have breakfast.”
“You’re right Tony, I haven’t played too fair with you. It is just that I feel so guilty leaving you for another man. I should respect you more than I have. We might as well settle another thing right now as long as we are all here. Who am I going to be faithful to now that you have the papers? I want to be faithful to John, but you still have the right to demand that I be faithful to you. I’m not saying that John and I are going to have sex. I’m just saying I don’t want to go to bed with you anymore.”
“Okay, I can understand that. That part of our life together is over. I don’t care what you do or don’t do with John. What about this dinner affair I have to go to? I really need someone and I can’t very well take my mother.”
“I have asked Rita to go in my place. I have even purchased a gown for her to wear. She really is lovely. Would she be an acceptable date?”
“She’s your employee. You didn’t pressure her did you?”
“No, when I said I didn’t want to go she suggested she be my replacement.”
“Actually I am honored to have her appear with me. Thank you for getting her a gown. Let’s have breakfast and then I will see if I can remember where my motel is. As long as you know I am in town, can I move my things here until I leave?”
“It’s still your home. I don’t want you to feel you can’t come here anytime. While you are here we might as well get the telling of our divorce to Seely out of the way. She is at a friend’s house for a two night sleep-over. I will call her and see if she wants to come back today or wait until tomorrow. We can tell her then. I’m not looking forward to telling her.”
“I’m not either. Let’s have Rita handy to console her if it gets too bad.”
John made the comment that Pam and I settled our differences in a pretty calm manner. I explained that first of all we were friends. After being married so long we pretty much knew when one of us did something wrong. We would talk it out and then apologize. Looking back I said I never was that deeply in love with Pam and that was why our life together had survived as long as it had. I was sure she would tell him the same thing someday.
“Besides, in my drunken state last night, I remember telling you she had told me that when she was near you, she just wanted to fall into your arms. I knew she wouldn’t make a scene.”
It started out a little rough when we sat Seely down for our talk. Pam pretty much left what to say up to me. I knew she would, so I was as prepared as I could be. I told her that a father and mother had joint custody over their kids. Her mother and I didn’t see why we couldn’t continue even though we were not together anymore. Pam and I were still friends and would continue to be.
“I then asked her what she thought of John Bordon. I just said that Pam liked him a lot and I liked him too. Someday your mother might want to live with him. That is up to her. I may find someone to love too. We are committed to making sure you are happy, so even if we live with someone else, we will always think of you.”
Seely asked, “What about Rita? I want her to be with me always.”
I left this one up to Pam. “Rita will be with you until you are at least fourteen. I have her promise and I am paying her to stay by your side that long. Even if she gets married someday, she will still have a job working for me. She has agreed to this, because she is thinking of you too. Is that okay?”
“I guess.”
“Things won’t be any different than they have been this summer, and you have been happy haven’t you?”
“You are sure you won’t stop loving me like you did before, Mom?”
“I loved you before, I just didn’t show it.”
When I talked with my lawyer, I just said that Pam and I wanted to get the divorce over with as soon as possible. Therefore he was to meet with her lawyer and move things forward quickly. I couldn’t think of anything to hold us up in court. We wanted and had agreed on joint custody of Seely. Both of us were well satisfied with each of us retaining our individual assets. I admitted that Pam was worth considerably more than I was, but the bulk of it had come to her through inheritance so I wasn’t looking to claim any of that. Pam wanted the house. There was no mortgage so after a fair appraisal she would buy me out.
It was up to Pam’s attorney to arrange with the court a date to appear before it since she was the one that had filed first. Actually I didn’t even have to appear. The meeting ended with my lawyer telling me he would keep me informed and when there were papers that needed my signature, he would get them to me promptly.
Rita prepared a late lunch for me just before I headed home. She promised to be at Mom’s house early in the afternoon next Saturday to get ready for the awards dinner. “This is going to be like a first date, isn’t it? Will there be dancing after dinner? I hope so. I used to be quite good at Fiesta time.”
“You’ll probably be a lot better than me, but maybe I can steer you around the floor for a slow waltz.” (Actually I was an accomplished dancer. Pam had made me learn when I embarrassed her the first time we went dancing.) Driving home I thought how I had lived in the same house with Rita for three years and never had the urge to get close to her. Now, all I could think of was what it was going to feel like when I held her in my arms.
Monday morning I explained to the head of the firm why I had asked for last Friday off. I said my wife had sued for divorce, but I didn’t think I would need any more time as it was going to be amicable. He said if I did need time off, just ask. Then he wondered if I was going to have someone with me at the awards. I assured him I had a female friend that would be with me. My soon-to-be ex had promoted this friend when I said I definitely needed someone. He thought that was nice of her.
I made the comment to Mom that I hoped I was handsome enough for Rita. Mom said I might not have the features of a movie star, but once anyone looked at me, they would see the character my face displayed. That counts with most women. Good old Mom, she knew how to make a person feel good.
Rita appeared at our door early Saturday afternoon. She was wearing her hair covered, telling Mom that she would need some help in combing it out and putting in the pins her hairdresser had provided. She had on jeans and a tee shirt. I had never seen her in anything that hugged her body like this before. I just knew she was going to be the most beautiful woman at the dinner tonight.
We were a handsome couple when we entered the lounge where the socializing was taking place. I wore a tuxedo and Pam had outdone herself in choosing the gown that Rita was wearing. It was a black, lacy cocktail gown that set off her figure. No skin showed anywhere as she wore net arm length gloves and the collar came to just under her ears. I had pinned a corsage on her. A bright red rose, surrounded by orchids, rested just above her left breast. A cluster of three orchids pinned to a band over her head adorned her hair. The effect was electrifying.
When I presented Rita to our host, the head of the firm said to his wife, “This is our newest employee and his date for the night, Tony O’Rourk and Rita Morales.”
“You are lovely, dear. Do enjoy yourself tonight.”
We started mixing with my co-workers. This was a large firm and I hadn’t met many of those employed here yet. We had many offices in other countries and those representatives were here for the dinner. Suddenly a man came rushing up to us exclaiming, “Rita Morales, is that you?”
“Hi Raoul. I haven’t seen you in years. I didn’t even know where you lived.” Rita turned to me in explanation. “Tony, this is a cousin of mine. We grew up together.”
Raoul introduced his wife and we made plans to sit at the same table so he and Rita could talk family. He whispered to me. “I was madly in love with Rita and I was the one that got to kiss her on her sixteenth birthday.”
Rita overheard this exchange. “Tell him the rest of it, Raoul.”
“Well, I guess I got my face slapped pretty hard.”
“And then?”
“Then she came and said she was sorry and let me truly kiss her.”
I looked at Raoul and said, “I envy you the experience.” Rita flashed her eyes at me and smiled.
Dinner was long and the speeches that went with the awards were too. Finally the dancing started. I didn’t think I was going to ever get to hold Rita. Raoul asked the live band at one point to play a set of ethnic Mexican dances. I sat with Raoul’s wife through the first dance and let Rita and her cousin show off. I asked Nita, his wife, “Do you dance these too?”
“Yes, of course.”
“I think I can do a credible job at them too. Let’s join them on the floor.”
The floor was nearly empty when we picked up the beat and went into the traditional steps. Raoul and Rita were on one side of the ballroom and Nita and I were on the other. As the last dance progressed we both worked to the center and for the last finale Raoul flung Rita towards me and I did the same with Nita to Raoul. I had Rita in my arms and Nita was with her husband. There was applause.
Nita thanked me saying that when Raoul gets to showing off his prowess she usually has to sit on the sidelines. Raoul said that if we were ever at a Mexican festival, he was challenging me to see who could dance the best. I said if I was ever there, I would accept.
The evening wore on and Rita finally refused a partner when a waltz was played. This was the moment we were both waiting for. She came into my arms. “Tony, I’ve never seen you like this before. You are always so serious and quiet. I expected you to be like you always are. I thought when I saw Raoul that I would at least have him to talk to while you went off and talked business with someone. I can’t ever remember having so much fun.”
“To be honest, I haven’t had many fun things going on in my life lately. You bring out the best in me. I must have been blind to overlook you for so long. You are beautiful and I want to see more of you. It may not be proper, but may I ask you for a date when Pam and I are officially separated?”
“I’d be very disappointed if you didn’t. Now hold me and swirl me around the floor.”
The last dance came and again I held Rita. I was so happy, I had tears in my eyes. Neither of us said anything. I was hoping Rita felt the same way. Just before I entered the house knowing Mom was waiting to hear all about our evening, I took Rita into my arms and kissed her. It was every bit as wonderful as I imagined it would be. The kiss held the promise of love that was waiting for both of us as soon as I was free of the commitment I had made to another woman.
In the days and weeks to come, Rita at first had almost total care of Seely, as Pam was wrapped up in love with John and pretty much living with him as husband and wife. I spent some time at my old home to be with Seely as often as I could. Rita told me that Pam had made the change to loving mother permanent and that John was a lot of fun for Seely to be around. Now Pam and John were including Seely in many of their activities and Rita was often alone.
Ninety days doesn’t sound like a long time, but for all of us involved it seemed like forever. Not much was ever said about the night Rita had joined me at the awards dinner. She just told Pam that she had enjoyed herself and had danced with me a couple of times. She did say that she found a cousin at the dinner that worked for the same company as I did and that it was fun to talk with him about family.
Pam’s and my affairs were fast being finalized. The divorce was to be final on December fifteenth. John and Pam’s wedding was going to be in the judge’s office on the sixteenth. Blushing, Pam announced that she was pregnant, so the nuptials were to be as soon as possible. I hoped that Rita wasn’t being planned on to take care of the baby when it arrived. I had plans for Rita myself.
The one conversation I had with Pam was that this child of John’s was a child conceived in love and she thanked me for allowing her to go to John. I asked how she figured that because it was her that divorced me. “I know Tony, but when you promised to still be my friend, that lessened the guilt I felt, and I went ahead and did what my heart told me to.”
“I’m glad that everything is working out for you and John. That makes me happier than you can ever know.”
“I feel sorry that you don’t have someone for yourself. Promise me that you won’t sit back and let life pass you by.”
“Oh, I won’t. I’m just waiting for our divorce to become final and then I’m going to start looking. Someday I’m going to call you and John and say, Hey I’m getting married. Would you like to come to the wedding?”
“Is that a promise?”
“Yes.”
Mom went to stay with Seely and Rita while Pam and John were on a week’s honeymoon as I was out of the country. Rita invited Mom and me to attend the Christmas festivities in Mexico with her family. I always knew Rita went somewhere at Christmas time, but this was the first time she had said much about it. Laughing, I said, “So, you are bringing me home to meet your parents? I can hardly wait.”
Rita was unsure because we hadn’t brought our feelings fully out into the open yet. “This is what you wanted isn’t it? To meet my family, I mean.”
“Yes it is Rita. I haven’t had a chance to tell you I love you yet. I want to meet them. I want them to approve of me. I said I love you and I mean it. All I can think about anymore is you.”
“Tony, I have to confess I’ve felt that way about you for so long. I love you, love you, love you!”
Seely was disappointed that her grandmother, her father, and Rita weren’t going to celebrate Christmas with her. But she had a new dad and he was treating her like a little princess, so she guessed she could deal with it. Not only that she had just been told she was going to have a sister. Wow!
On the flight to Mexico Rita told Mom and me she had a fairly large family. She had one brother and he was heir to her parents’ home and business. That was why she went to school and decided to make her life in a different country. She had the one brother and three younger sisters. She was the oldest at twenty-seven and her family was disappointed she hadn’t been married already. Tony was to be the first likely prospect to quiet their demands.
Mom looked at me and I smiled at her, “That’s right Mom. When my divorce became final a week ago, Rita and I became a couple. You are the first to know.”
Tears sprang to my mother’s eyes, tears of happiness. “Oh I’m so glad for both of you. I know you’ll be happy.”
Rita went on about her family. “My Uncle Raoul lives next door to us. That’s Raoul, Senior, not the one you met, Tony. He’s a widower, so Mom O’Rourk you’re going to have to keep your panties pulled up, for he is quite the ladies man. I have two spinster aunts. They are the ones pushing me to get married. They don’t want me to end up like them. I also have a bunch of cousins and their spouses. This is festival time so I’m hoping you will relax and have fun while we are here.”
We were met at the airport by her brother, Ernesto, driving a SUV. He grabbed his sister and hugged her saying how much he missed her. Mom was mystified as to what they were saying. I had picked up the basics of Spanish from my many years association with Rita and could follow what was being said. It took almost an hour to travel through the valley and up a mountain to the other side. We pulled into a villa with dozens of people waiting outside to greet the returning family member.
Mom was first introduced to Rita’s mother and father. If Rita looked like her mother in twenty years and five kids, I would be happy. The mother of course was more mature and had gray streaks in her hair. Other than that, Rita and her mom could be sisters. Her dad was thin and wiry and sported a pencil thin mustache. He shook my hand firmly. The sisters looked much like Rita, the youngest under twenty I would guess. The two aunts cast a critical eye over me, not saying anything.
Raoul Sr., when presented, bowed over Mom’s hand and kissed it. Then he slowly turned it over and kissed the palm while looking into her eyes. Rita said to Mom, “I warned you that you were going to have to hold onto your panties.”
“If I go with him tonight, I’ll be the first one up drinking coffee because he will be too tired to get out of bed.” The translation was quickly made for those that didn’t understand English. Everyone was laughing at Raoul for Mom’s comeback. I shook my head, for the gauntlet had been thrown and if I knew human nature, Mom was going to have to prove up before our visit ended. Maybe that’s what Mom intended.
There was a barbecue set up in the yard out back with a huge quarter of beef rotating over a pit of coals. There was a keg of pulque, a beer made locally and for those that preferred something stronger, there was mescal to drink. There were tables of food of all description extending away from where the haunch of beef was to be carved right onto our plates as we passed by.
Rita said quietly to me in a moment of calm, “This is all for you and me you know. I have never brought a guest home before. So far I think we are doing okay.”
While enjoying the meal, I was clapped sharply on the back to a shout of “Hola Tony!”
I turned and Raoul Jr. was standing there with a happy grin on his face. Nita was with him. When she stepped forward, instead of the expected greeting, I twirled her around in some of the steps we had done at the dance, finishing with a beautiful exciting dip. “I challenge you Raoul Morales to a dance contest tonight.”
Everyone was laughing. I know it was pure theatrics, but I felt I had to make these people want me in their family. Rita was grinning and happy which is what I wanted anyway.
Rita, with a concerned look, came to me later. “Your Mom and Uncle Raoul have disappeared. You aren’t going to make trouble over it are you?”
“Is your family going to think less of my mom now that they have gone off together?”
“No. My uncle set his sights on your mom and we all know that it was to be inevitable if she didn’t object right away. If your mom actually is the first to appear in the morning, they will applaud her for it and take her into their hearts. She is a widow and that gives her rights to be happy and they know Uncle can make her happy. You are fast winning their hearts anyway, so if it doesn’t upset you, everything will be fine.”
Everyone had been told by Nita how Raoul and I had danced when we went to the awards dinner. Everyone expected a show. Raoul was the champion dancer in the family and I knew over the long term he would win over me. I didn’t care. Participating was the important thing. Rita told me that if I really wanted to come close to winning then I should choose her youngest sister, Pia, to be my partner. She was the best, the lightest and the most fluid. I said no I would stay with the one I wanted in my arms. This pleased Rita and that made us better dancers for the evening.
Rita and I with no reputation to uphold went out and danced our hearts out during the so-called challenge. Nita and Raoul had been dancing together for years and with them not even trying were much better than Rita and I. We conceded the challenge and changed partners for general dancing. I danced once with my future mother-in-law and even surprised Rita when I approached her aunts for a fling each. Rita was looking so proud of me for being so thoughtful.
Mom made good her boast. She was even home from mass where she had gone with Rita’s mom before Raoul was up. He took a razzing when he finally appeared for his morning coffee. Religion had never been discussed between Rita and I. It had been years and years since I had been to a mass. Rita thought even though I wasn’t a practicing Catholic it would set much better with her family.
There were any number of parades and festivals to go to at this time of year. We talked seriously several times with Rita’s Mom and Dad when we tired of the festivities. Her Dad gave his blessing gladly when I asked. We planned a wedding two weeks after the first of the year. We were to have a civil ceremony in the States and a church wedding here in Mexico with her family.
I thought Pam might be upset that I chose Rita to be my wife. She was so in love with John, nothing seemed to upset her. How she laughed when I called her and said the words, “Hey, you want to come to my wedding?”
Seely was ecstatic and practiced saying, “Hey Mom, I’m home” when she came to visit or it was her time to stay with us. Oh yes, Rita and I emulated John and Pam. Rita was pregnant when we said our vows. We one-upped them though, we are having twins.
Seely was the little person who I wanted to have my values. She lived most of the time with her mother and John. In John she drew values from him as well as from Rita and I. He had a business and was home every night, whereas I was often absent for weeks at a time. He took over the role model that only Rita had filled when I was not present.
“Buy you a beer Tony? The women and kids are going shopping.”
“Sure. No getting drunk like the last time, when you figured you were the one who did the winning. We have responsibilities now.”
“I did win, but then so did you.”
“You said it. I never thought I could be this happy. I have a wonderful new wife, twins, and I still have Seely. Not only that, I have my self-respect back. I know I have maintained I didn’t mind that Pam had a lover. I did though.”
“I wondered about that. After I met you, I liked you very much. I couldn’t see how a man could let his wife be involved with another man. It made me feel guilty as well, knowing it was me.”
“I did it because I wanted Pam to be happy while I wasn’t with her. I see now that I should have forced her to make the decision she ultimately did when she confessed to having another interest.”
“It wouldn’t have helped me. I was married at the time.”
“Yes John, but you two would have continued as lovers just as you did anyway.”
“I suppose, but what about Seely? After all this, she is the one who has gained the most.”
“Maybe, maybe not. Seely has a sense of family that comes from Rita and my mother. If Pam had gone to you taking Seely with her, Rita and I might not have ever come together. I love Rita with a passion that I never had with Pam.”
“And I love Pam more than I did my first wife. Tell me, when Seely comes to stay, what does she say when she sees Rita?”
“She says, ‘Hi Mom, I’m home.’”
“That is exactly what she says when she returns to her mother and me. It always brings tears to Pam’s eyes when she hears it. I would guess every mother in the world loves the words ‘Hi Mom. I’m home.’”
John was there to see that Pam fulfilled the role of mother that I wasn’t able to because of my absences. Seely’s horizon broadened in other ways. Summers she stayed with Rita on the family ranch in Mexico. It was a whole different culture than the one she had been exposed to with her mother. There was untold love and sense of family she never would have had if Pam and I had stayed together. In the end Seely was the one who gained. No, I take that back, we all gained as we settled into the reshuffling of our lives to find happiness.
One final note; I guess I better tell you about Mom. She, who had always stayed home with her small circle of friends, took up traveling. She headed to Mexico at least once a month to visit Rita’s family, more specifically Raoul. Raoul came at least once a month to visit Rita and me, again specifically Mom. When the two got sick of visiting family, they got on a ship and sailed somewhere together. I asked her one time why they didn’t get married. She said it was too complicated, being from two different countries and all. Anyway, what they have together works for them.
The End
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