The Rivers' Lodge on the Hill

The Rivers’ Lodge on the Hill

happyhugo

copyright(c) 08/27/11

46,780 words

Romance --- Adult theme
Tear Jerker

Brattleboro, Vt Tale

Readers score   7.91

Jonathan decides to turn his old
Vermont farmhouse into a lodge.
This is profitable, but it is the start
of a whole new set of problems.
A story about relationships among
adults and teenagers. Some sadness
Along with some happiness.

Chapter One

I was brought up to believe that if you worked diligently you could get ahead and be rewarded with the finer things in life. I grew up on a small farm located in the hills of Vermont. It had been settled in the late seventeen hundreds by my great, great, great grandfather, Jonathan Rivers, and the family has lived on the land continuously ever since.

I was the fifth generation that has occupied it since it was settled. I was also named after my ancestor who first cleared the land. We were a particularly long-lived clan, but as far as children were concerned, we were not prolific. Usually there were only one or at the most two children in each generation, except for my grandfather’s.

While I was growing up, my grandfather lived with us. He had a little room off the kitchen containing just a bed, a chair and dresser. My father and mother occupied a bedroom upstairs and I occupied a room in the attic. My sister occupied the other bedroom on the second story near my mother and father.

I remember her as being a happy person, whom everyone doted on. Unfortunately, she contracted polio and passed away when she was eleven. It is sad, because the next year the Salk vaccine became widely used and I am sure she would be with us today if only it was perfected a year or two sooner.

As I say, my grandfather lived with us. He was old, or seemed so when I was a child. When he could only get around with difficulty, he would ask me to come in to talk with him. He did most of the talking. He was always telling about my ancestors. He had three brothers, him being the youngest. In the late eighteen nineties, his three brothers got the “gold bug” and headed for Alaska. Word from them filtered back over the next several years, but within ten years, they had all died in one tragedy or another. Grandpa was sixteen at the time they left home.

This threw the working of the farm onto him at an early age. His father, my great grandfather, had married late in life so he was already old at that time. My great grandmother was young when her other sons left, but she was soon worn down trying to manage the place with her young son. She passed away in her mid forties, about the same time as her husband who was in his early eighties.

My grandfather married in nineteen-nineteen and my father was born not many years later. He married early the same as I did when I met Brenda. My father died in an accident just a few years after Brenda and I were married.

The condition of the farm had steadily deteriorated over the last hundred years. Some of the fields have grown up to brush. One pasture is ready to harvest saw logs. When I married Brenda, the only open land was a twenty-acre field and a fifteen-acre pasture. I worked off the farm part time while trying to raise a little beef.

I was lucky to attract a fine loving woman for a wife. We had great plans to restore the farm to the condition it was in the late eighteen hundreds. Brenda’s parents settled a sum on us when we were married and I used this to invest in equipment that is more modern and a large shed to store it. We converted the largest dairy barn into open housing and started raising a few beef cattle. It wasn’t feasible or necessary to tie the creatures up and all they needed was to have a place out of the cold New England weather.

After trying for several years, I realized that I was just turning one dollar over for another and at the end of the year I didn’t have anything more than I started with. This was when I took a full time job in town and began to reduce my herd until I didn't have any stock left. In a way, I hated to leave Brenda and Ben, our son, every day, but there was food on the table and the taxes were now being paid on time. My mother, Selma, now in her sixties lives in the room where I used to spend time listening to my grandfather tell stories.

When I sold the last livestock, my mother Selma, Brenda, and I, sat down, and analyzed why I wasn’t able to make a go of the farming business. Actually looking at why the farm hadn’t been able to expand in the last hundred years or so. First, there wasn’t enough land to make a go of making it a paying proposition. Second, we concluded that there weren’t enough hands to do the work and complete all of the necessary tasks.

A certain malaise had settled over us as well. Mom was still a vibrant person. There was always work to do at home and she never had time to develop outside interests. Brenda stayed at home with our son Ben, and was in much the same situation as my mother. She did keep the big garden and did the minor repairs on the place. She worked along beside me when we got wood and did much of the sugaring in the spring.

It was always a matter of catching up, but not enough hands to expand the farm. Brenda and I had a son to educate. We had hopes that Ben would be with us on the home place to carry on the tradition of being close to the land. I felt we were good land stewards, but it didn’t look as it was to continue much longer.

Moreover, to us then came the biggest disappointment of all. Ben had no interest in the land. As soon as he was old enough, he spent his time elsewhere. His explanation was that he was a “people person” and didn’t want to be stuck up there in the hills with no one with whom to converse. He soon married, worked his way though college, and started a family. Maybe our hopes would be in the next generation.

You know, for all his high priced salary, he was always in debt, because living with people he had to keep up with them. I think I sleep better at night with my bills all paid, than he does with all of his toys and modern gadgets. He will have a credit card that cost fifteen percent and higher on the balance, until the end of time. This story is not about him though. I was just laying some background of what was to come.

Our house was an old Vermont farmhouse. It had never been enlarged because the family size never required it. It had eight rooms with an attic. The attic was where I slept as a child until my sister had died. Even after she passed, I preferred the privacy that the attic offered. The house is in the shape of an “L.” The main structure consisted of foursquare rooms down, i.e. a parlor, one large bedroom, a dining room and a living room. Over these were two huge bedrooms. Originally, the leg of the “ell” formed a huge kitchen on the ground floor with the attic up. A very small bedroom and bathroom had been carved out of the kitchen, where my grandfather slept when I was growing up.

After I was married and my father passed on, this is where my mother slept. In the summer, the whole kitchen was open, but in the winter two thirds of it was closed to conserve heat. A covered porch extended out from the main house and went the length of the kitchen “ell.”

There is a huge set of barns. When the homestead was developed, it was planned to be a dairy farm. This called for a big barn because of the necessary storage of loose hay. There was a horse barn for both draft animals and a driving team. Set away from these two barns, there was a hen house and a hog house.

At that time, enough land was cleared to support sixteen to twenty milking cows, and six to eight head of young stock for their replacements. The farm had reached its peak during my great-grandfather’s generation, before my great uncles had gone to Alaska. Since that time, more and more open land gave way to brush and finally grew into woodland. It was not that the land was unproductive, it was that there wasn’t the manpower to handle all of the work. Now here I am, my wife and I forty years old and my mother in her sixties.

What to do? I loved this place. I had two hundred years of history behind me. Much of this history was at my fingertips in the form of every record and transaction ever made, recorded in journals down through the years. Also, being frugal Vermonters, most every piece of equipment and all the old tools were packed into the barns and sheds. Some of the buildings you could barely get into, they were so full.

Every evening after I returned from my job in town, the subject came up, of what to do? Repairs on the buildings were needed. Brush was encroaching on the one large field that was open. Even with the time-saving tools we could afford, we got behind. It made no sense to hire outside labor. I could do most of the work if I had the time, but I also needed the income from outside. Brenda did drive the tractor, but disliked working with it.

We had to try something and soon! Brenda often declared it was so pointless living the way we were. I even heard her tell a neighbor that she wished she could chuck it all and go somewhere--anywhere. Mother came up with an idea that seemed attractive last winter while we were mulling over what to do. We made the decision to turn the farm into a lodge. We knew that in the earliest part of the century, when it was difficult to travel, people came and stayed at a lodge for months at a time. It was at least worth investigating.

First, we had to find out if we could get the permits. We had to see what we needed to bring our proposed “lodge” up to code. Of course, if the expense were too great, then the whole project would never get off the ground. Brenda and mother were good cooks and the house was clean and neat. Much of the furniture was antique, sturdy, and serviceable. Even the couch in the living room would be fine for a few years.

Our food was not what you would call fancy, but it was certainly wholesome. That took care of the food preparation problem. Then we discussed if we would need entertainment. We decided we would not, because we were only providing lodging. With today’s mobility, entertainment was everywhere within a short drive.

When we went to see about a permit to open a lodge, the biggest drawback was not enough bathrooms. The one small bathroom in the ell was located off the kitchen and that wouldn’t be permitted close to where food was being prepared.

What we came up with was to dismantle that bathroom and move it up into the attic next to the upstairs bedrooms and make it much larger. The room in the attic would only be used for family, so we planned a ¾ bath beside the other one. Mother, who still had the small bedroom off the kitchen, would now have to use the new one off the parlor and living room in the front of the house. Another ¾ bath backed up to that main facility.


Brenda and I planned to move from the downstairs bedroom to quarters in the attic. We did make it almost as nice as the regular bedrooms. Thus, we ended up with three rooms to rent out to lodgers.

We decided that we would go to the expense and do the plumbing and I hired a contractor for this. Then we looked at the kitchen and thought we would have to update this also. The range was fine, but we certainly would need a larger refrigerator. In addition, we needed a new larger, more modern sink and the need to install more cupboards and storage space.

When it came to serving the meals, we decided it would be in the kitchen where most of the action is anyway. There was an oak worktable that had been used originally for a butcher’s cutting bench in one of the sheds. It had been large enough to bring in a small beef or sizable hog to process. Twelve to fourteen people could be easily seated around it.

It was more than a century old and heavy. It was not too fancy, but I took care of that by smoothing the planks with a portable plane and then did a lot of scroll work with a router on the legs. To finish it up, I put a nice ogee edge around the top. When I finished it looked custom made and pretty damned nice.

April came and we were well on our way to seeing our way to have lodgers installed by sometime this June. It was time to advertise. We decided to place an ad in some of the papers distributed in the New York City area. Not knowing what we really wanted for lodgers, we wrote a pretty broad classified ad, as follows:


Do you want to get out of the city for the summer?
Would you like to spend time in the country?
New Vermont facility needs lodgers.
Tranquility w/beautiful view.
$450 per week/single
$725 per week/couple
Room and all meals included.
Possible working arrangement to defray cost.
Phone, (802)555-5665
E-Mail, jrivers@aol.com
 

We waited for replies--and we received many replies. Dozens of them. I guess we could have put up a hundred guests if we had the room. I wished we could take more than the three to fill the bedrooms. Brenda took care of the phone calls. I looked at the E-Mails. We took names and addresses from all of them and said we would contact them within three days.

We went through the list, not rejecting any out of hand. One call that Brenda had taken, had impressed her, even though the English was broken. She said that we had to have this person. He told her his name was Ho Lee and that he was originally from Vietnam. He had been a farmer. He wondered if he could maybe have a garden.

The church group that settled him in this country integrated him into a city community that had some of his countrymen living nearby. He was desperate to get back to working with his hands in soil. He had been saving his money working as a set-up person to a chef in a major restaurant. Would we please consider him, so he could at least get away from the grunge of the city for a while?

Two other E-mails interested me. One was an inquiry from a man and wife, Sarah and Bob. Both had a farming background and wanted to get out of the city. They grew up in the Midwest and were estranged from their families. The other E-mail that was of interest was from a young unmarried couple, Joni and Rich. Joni was employed by a magazine that published stories about early Americana. She did research and thought that our lodge sounded like a good base from where to work.

Rich, though not an artist, was good at sketching, and did work on her articles to illustrate them. I did not find out what his business was. They wondered if it was a problem if they shared a room. I answered the inquiry with a no. However, I knew I might have an argument with my mother because she was somewhat straight-laced.

These were the people we settled on to be our lodgers. I notified the other applicants that we were full, but would keep their names on file. Ho Lee, when we confirmed his reservation, asked if he could come earlier than when we said we were going to open. He would like to come before the middle of May. I informed him that we were not ready for guests, but if he wanted to help us get things ready, we would give him a reduced rate, and find him a room in which to bunk.

On May 13, the day started out with bad weather. In addition, we were concerned about what we had started. We were having a late spring and nothing was done outside yet to spruce up the farm. The lawn needed raking, and the shrubs needed pruning. We did not want to have guests show up and then have them not stay. It would take too long to get a replacement.

Our doorbell rang about eleven in the morning. Standing there was a small oriental man, about forty we guessed, but hard to determine. He informed us that he was Ho Lee. We did not know it then, but our life changed dramatically at that moment.

Our kitchen had been the first room to be completed. Ho Lee took a tour around the room, inspecting the equipment and appliances. Nodding his approval and smiling all over, he said, “Very good!” His language was accented, but we could easily understand him. Mother, set in her ways, thought that Ho Lee was over-stepping his bounds a bit by giving his approval to our kitchen. I told her if that was bad, wait until one of our lodgers started complaining about something.

Brenda took him upstairs to the room that was to be his. This was one of the rooms with a shared bath. It didn’t seem like Ho had much for belongings. He had a duffle bag and one small suitcase. I asked if he had anything else coming later he said, “No.” Ho wanted to take a look around the farm. It was raining slightly. He dug a poncho out of his duffle bag and we went outside.

The first thing that impressed him was the garden spot. I usually plow the ground in the fall. Over the winter, the sod breaks down and it is easier to ready-up for seeds in the spring. The area I had plowed was nearly an acre because we raised quite a bit of corn. He could not believe the garden would be so big. He said the size of his whole farm in Vietnam was not that big.

We next walked into the barns and sheds, those that we could get into. Upstairs in the barn where the horses had been stabled was empty of feed. The hay had been fed out and never replaced. It was an awkward place to pitch hay into and certainly dusty as well.

Then I showed him the hen house and the shed where hogs had been penned. All of the old tools were in these buildings. As I said, nothing was ever thrown away. Even the sticking knives and scrapers had been oiled, packed in a box, and stored in the hog house.

Lunch was simple. We had sandwiches and tea. Afterward we sat around and related what our lives had been like. I must say Ho’s life until now, had been filled with trials and tribulations. His first wife and son were killed when they were escaping near the northern border of his homeland.

After the United States had withdrawn and the North had taken over, he had retreated into the mountains. He was quite young and tried to make a living at a little farm. He was happy, and eventually found another woman for a wife and they had a child. However, he had a disagreement with a neighbor over a pig. The neighbor went to an army post and said that he knew where a man who was a spy lived.

Long story short, he and his family tried to escape over the border into Thailand. His wife was shot and his new baby soon died of sickness after he reached a refugee camp. A church group made it possible for him to immigrate to the United States shortly thereafter.

For the last two years, he had been saving his money, hoping to get out into the country. He said he had enough funds to carry him for the next six weeks here at the lodge. He hoped by growing a garden he could stay longer. If not, maybe we would help him find some work on a farm in this area.

At first, I was disappointed that we didn’t have a lodger for the whole summer, but we might just gain a friend if we helped him. Brenda then gave him a tour of the whole house before she started to prepare dinner. Selma, my mother, thought Ho came from a violent country and we would be murdered in our beds.

Selma did relent from being so displeased when Ho pitched in to prepare dinner. He looked in our spice cabinet, and laid out some items that we seldom used. When she went to get the salad together, he asked if he could help. Mother had always been proud of her salads, but as long as he asked she said, “Why don’t you make it up tonight.”

Where she had put the ingredients in a big bowl and dumped the dressing on top, he did it differently. He put together little individual plates and arranged the vegetables, so there was some pattern. Then he mixed up a dressing using the spices he had set out. The salads certainly looked attractive when we came to sit down, and the dressing was pure ambrosia.

When we sat down to eat, Ho asked if he could give the blessing. Blessing at dinner had been kind of a haphazard proposition at our house. Usually it was during the holidays and when we had some company we wanted to impress.

Occasionally when something good had happened, we said we were going to say Grace every day. It always was neglected as the pressures of the day eventually took over. I guess this reminded us that we should pay attention. It could not hurt us and might do us some good.

Brenda and I lay in bed that night, talking about our new guest. This was actually the first night we had slept in the attic as we had been sleeping above the parlor, so it was difficult to get to sleep. We laughed how Ho had impressed mother. The look on her face when she took her first taste of that salad was precious. We had doubted they would get along very well but if he could make food taste like he had tonight, she might soften.

I was very much impressed and said I would go to bat for him even if mother didn’t like him. We agreed that if we came to like him and saw what kind of person he was, we would gladly recommend him to a near-by farm so he could stay in the area. A germ of an idea was already floating around in my mind. I decided I would keep it to myself for the present.

The next morning we didn’t hear anything from the new lodger’s room. We figured he must be tired. As we put breakfast on the table, he came in the door from outside. I was surprised because we did not think he was even out of bed, but instead had been out planning his garden.

After breakfast, he asked what I was going to do today. I said the main thing we had to get ready was a fire escape to the two upper floor bedrooms. I was going to build narrow stairs from the porch, through the porch roof and then cut an entrance into the upper hall. The stairs would be enclosed above the roof, and weather tight.

I was not much of a carpenter but knew I could do an adequate job. Ho wasn’t much help with the sketch I drew, but when we got ready to cut the openings, he tackled that energetically. We then moved the materials for the stairs from the barn and started building.

By evening, we had the major portion roughed in. I had done the measuring and sawing and Ho did the nailing. The next morning I went to town and purchased clapboards for the outside and enough shingles to roof the enclosure. In two days we had it all completed. I couldn’t believe it. I knew it would have taken me more than a week to do alone, and here I was all finished.

I had a discussion with Ho after we finished the stair project. First, I wanted to pay him wages for what he had done. He wouldn’t hear of it. He said he was enjoying himself and after being cooped up in a restaurant, day in and day out, this was a vacation. Working with me was not all he was doing either.

He was up before breakfast working on the plants around the house. He was shaping the decorative plants that had been planted over the years. A lot of them were perennials that were gifts from friends and relatives. We, or my parents, had stuck them in where we thought they would look good. Ho asked if he could move them around. He said it would do them good and revitalize them. I said go for it.

Brenda and I talked every night, feeling we were in Ho’s debt. Ho came up with the answer himself. He asked one day what I had planned for the empty loft in the old horse barn. I said I had no particular plans. He told me he was not used to the fine room where we had put him. He wanted to clean up the barn and live in the loft.

He said if he could, he would build us the finest garden this summer we had ever seen. That way we could find another paying guest for the room we had assigned him. In addition, we would have all of the vegetables that would be needed for our table as they ripened. I felt I was coming out with the best deal.

We finally came to the agreement that I would furnish the seed and supplies he needed. He was to grow what he thought we could use in the kitchen. He said there would be extra. This could be either peddled to the restaurants downtown or sold at the local farmers’ market. He insisted that we would split even any cash he took in. This would more than pay me back for the cost of getting started.

We had a week of good weather and he was able to get his seed bed in order. Ho would hardly take enough time off to eat. From daylight to dark, he was out there working the soil. Brenda and mother helped clean the hayloft in the barn. Most of it was removing dust. There was tons of dust and chaff from the old hay that had been stored over many years. When they finished they agreed the dust would never stop coming out of the cracks in the floor and walls.

We had already had some trees cut to make lumber to use as we needed it to make repairs. I had an old Bellsaw planer, so I planed enough pine boards for the floor. Ho did not need the entire loft so I walled off the area he wanted. I went into town and got some sheet rock that made the room light after painting it an almond color. I used this same material on the ceiling and we painted this white. There was only one window, but he said it was enough.

The whole job was quick, easy, and cheap. He was ecstatic. He still used the bathroom facilities in the house. We also found out that he was deeply religious. He set up a stand with a Bible and pictures of his dead wife and son in one corner of his room. He didn’t have any of his first family as he lost them all in his flight. When he gave Grace at mealtimes, he was so serious about it, you just knew he was talking to the Lord.

Chapter Two

Joni and Rich, the unmarried couple, showed up on Memorial Day weekend. Joni was a woman of twenty-eight. Rich might be a little older. Of the two Joni was by far the more outgoing. They reached here at three that afternoon. Brenda and Selma set about preparing dinner, while I showed them around. Joni was thrilled to find a farmhouse in almost the original state that it was when built except for the new changes I had just made.

Rich was interested in the way the buildings were constructed with treenails, mortise and tenon. After he inspected some of the hand-hewn timbers, he said they spanned the length of the ell, which made them forty feet long. He seemed to know all about this type of construction.

He worked in an architectural firm as a draftsman. He had the summer off, but would still have some work he brought with him. Post and beam had come back into vogue for house construction, so he was out in the field a lot to design houses for a specific lot he said.

Next he wanted to know where the fireplace was, knowing there must have been one. Had it been removed? I assured him that it was still here. It had been boarded up to prevent loss of heat up the chimney. He said he would like to get a look at it if possible.

I introduced Ho Lee to them at dinner. Ho again asked to say grace. Joni and Rich reached out to join hands, so they must be as familiar with the ritual as we were. Brenda had made a pot roast with vegetables cooked in the same pot. Selma put hot rolls on the table and we dug in.

Rich said he had never tasted anything better. Ho was a small eater. Joni observed this and then commented on how he could eat so little when it was so good. He said in Vietnam food was not as plentiful. The French influence had dictated more taste sensations than quantity. That is why they used more spices and flavorings. After this was said, I noticed that we all took smaller portions.

After dinner, Ho went back to his garden. We had decided that it was time to plant the bulk of the garden now. He already had peas in and up. Joni wanted to know if Ho was our only hired help. I set her straight on the fact that he came as a guest just like them.

Ho just might make this his home from now on and we would be glad to have him living with us. He was so anxious to get back to farming that we worked out an arrangement. Now he worked as our gardener on shares and was anxious to help with any chore.

Sarah and Bob arrived the next day. They were both in their twenties. Bob had rough, craggy features. You might be put off by this until he started speaking. He had a gentle, warm voice and you could wish he would keep speaking forever. Sarah was taller than him by an inch, even in the flats she wore. Bob worked as a financial advisor.

It was a cool day and Sarah was wearing sweats. Her hair was brown, short and curly. I did not think it was a perm, but natural. She kept it well cared for and neat. Her eyes were dark brown and flashed when she smiled, which she seemed to do often. Sarah was a published novelist.

We needed one more guest to fill the room that Ho Lee had vacated. I went through the list of people who had replied to our original advertisement. Brenda and I chose a woman, Judy Comstock, who mentioned she was interested in forests and how they were developed and managed. She was curious if there were woods here.

I talked to her by phone. I assured her we did have more than fifty acres of softwood and about twenty-five acres of mixed hardwood. There were enough maple trees on it so we at one time could set four hundred taps to get sap out of the trees to boil down for maple syrup.

Three days later Judy arrived by bus and Brenda picked her up after being called from the station. It was quiet in the kitchen when I arrived from work that afternoon. Everyone was sitting at the table for supper, waiting for me to wash and sit.

I thought there was to be just one woman guest who had reserved the room. Nothing was said to me about the man who was sitting beside her when we talked on the phone. Brenda introduced the new arrivals. “Jonathan, this is Judy Comstock and her brother Charlie. Charlie was injured in an auto accident almost two years ago and Judy cares for him. We will talk after we eat. Please say grace.”

After Grace, I cut the roast and gave out the portions as the plates were passed to me. I kept my eye on Charlie. He seemed to function to some degree, but he also did not seem aware what was going on around him. I heard Judy tell her brother to start now and he commenced to eat. I saw no problem with how he was acting except he was a little slow and his motions were clearly automatic.

As soon as the table was cleared, the food put away, and the dishes done, Selma, Brenda and I excused everyone except Judy and Charlie. I said, “Let’s talk. Judy, we don’t have a separate room here for your brother.”

“Mr. Rivers, Charlie will be sleeping in my room and in my bed. He is harmless. I will tell you why he is like he is. He had a family consisting of a wife and two children. A truck ran into their car and only he survived. He is brain damaged, but can function to some extent. He is physically fit except for that. He does not talk except to ask for his wife Carol. The doctors say there is only a three percent chance he will ever return to normal and ninety-seven percent he will be like this forever.

“What I mean, he takes care of his own personal needs, but needs me to tell him what to do and when. There was an insurance settlement that is large enough to pay me to care for him the rest of his life. I have now made this my full-time job. Living in the city holds nothing for us, as the noise tends to bother Charlie. I thought if we came to a rural area where it is quiet, he would be happier.

“Please let us stay for the summer as we agreed when you thought it would be just me. If we get along, and there is little trouble, I might conceivably lease the room for a longer period of time.”

“People will talk if they find out you are sleeping in the same room with your brother.”

“I know that, but people seem to understand when I explain our situation.”

“What do you think Mother, and you Brenda?”

Both did not see a problem. “What about you Judy, you are young, don’t you have a man in your life?”

“I had one and we planned on getting married. However, I felt I had the duty to care for my brother and my fiancé did not approve of me using my time this way, even though Charlie is not that much care. I’m glad of that now, because I found out just what kind of small-minded man he was.”

“Okay, I guess we can handle it. We will put you in the downstairs bedroom. You will have a bath to use as your own and for Charlie. If there is any trouble, I reserve the right to ask you to leave and expect you to comply without question.”

“Fair enough, I accept these conditions. To show you how little a burden I intend to be, what can I do to help around here?”

“Would you be willing to keep your bathroom clean?”

“I’ll do more than that, I’ll keep them all clean.”

“Great. The other guests help with the food preparation. You might find something to do in Ho’s garden too. We try to make it as homelike as we can here.”

As we stood, Charlie looked at Brenda and asked, “Carol?”

“No Charlie, I’m not Carol.” Charlie didn’t say anything and followed Judy through the house to the room they would be sharing.

“You know, I feel sorry for Judy. I have a feeling we will either enjoy having both here, or something is going to happen where we wish we had never met them. Maybe I should go tell Judy she can’t stay before we become friendly with them.”

“No Jonathan, please don’t do that. She has enough troubles just caring for her brother. We can afford to do something nice for her. If you were brain dead, I would care for you. I will admit sleeping with your brother is weird, but apparently they aren’t intimate, so I guess it is okay. Don’t you agree Mother Rivers?”

“I agree. It is something we can do for our fellow-man.”

“Okay then, we are in agreement.”

All of our guests wanted to help around the farm. The farmer brought the dry cows to put in the pasture and the animals had more attention from being petted than they got at home. I thought to myself that the animals would hate to leave here after they dropped their calves.

When strawberries were ripe, Bob, Sarah and Joni went to a pick-your-own farm and came home with more berries than I thought we would ever use before they spoiled. Mom filled the jelly cupboard and even though we groaned when strawberries were put on the table for another dessert, not many went to waste.

I had the biggest pile of wood split, stacked, and in the shed, I could ever remember having this early in the season. We uncovered the fireplace and had it checked to make sure it was safe. This was the first time in several years we had contemplated using it at all. It would be fun this winter to sit in front of it. We cut wood for the sugar house even though we hadn’t tapped out for the last five years and did not expect to next spring.

Ho Lee was going to be here and also Judy and Charlie if they got along with us. The other two couples looked envious as we discussed it. I was working every day. I was a shift supervisor in a factory with most of my crew being women. After supper, I would see what had happened during the day and if I decided there was chores needed doing on the morrow, I would give Brenda direction and orders.

Rich offered to paint the house. I was surprised, everyone pitched in, and a week later it was scraped and just a few days after that it had paint on it. Ho Lee was busy planning where to put various fruit trees he said we should plant for the future. He wanted pears, plums and peaches. Four kinds of grapevines would be nice to have. Two kinds to eat and two for wine. The trees, the cuttings and the berries would be started just as soon as it cooled off in the early fall.

I think I gained the most from having paying guests. I not only did not have any money worries, but I would come home and there wasn’t anything pressing that needed doing on any particular evening. I could relax and sometimes some of us would go downtown to the theater and watch a movie.

I should also mention that Brenda and I could plan to have intimate get-togethers more often than we had been. This was just from the fact we were not as tired all the time. Brenda seemed to initiate these encounters more often. This pleased me because before we started this project it was often days or even weeks before one of us suggested having sex.

The first crack that came in my perfect summer showed up one morning about three o’clock. I had to get up to relieve myself and as it was warm, I stepped outdoors onto the porch. It was dark, of course, with just a sliver of moon. I heard the horse barn door open and close, which made me think Ho Lee was stepping out the same as I.

Instead, it was Mom coming across the yard from the barn where Ho Lee slept. She only had on a nightgown. She was almost up to me before she realized there was anyone outside. “Mom, what are you doing?”

“I’m going to bed, Jonathan.”

“What were you doing in the barn?”

“If you can’t guess, I can tell you I was getting seen to. I knew I would be found out some day, but I don’t care. Son, I have not been with a man since your father passed. I seduced Ho and what is the expression--oh yes, we have been getting it on for the last month. He isn’t a very big man in stature, but he fills my needs just fine. I’m surprised you haven’t got onto me before this.”

“What happened to your worry about Ho Lee coming from a violent country and he would be murdering us all as we slept? Those were your words when he first came here. Another question is how far are you going with Ho Lee?”

“You mean are we going to get married? The answer is no. Ho has had two families and lost them. Neither one of us are considering something like that. As long as you are aware of what we are doing, I’m going to be moving into his bed permanently.”

“What about Brenda and the other guests? Won’t you be ashamed to have them know what you are doing?”

“Brenda already knows about us. As far as the others, they have made their own arrangements and what Ho and I do wouldn’t concern them if they did know.”

“You better explain that remark.”

“Well, occasionally Bob and Sarah sleep in the room they rented. Joni and Rich do the same in their own room. More often than not it is Joni in Bob’s bed and Sarah in Rich’s.”

“That’s convenient. What happens when one woman gets upset or jealous with the other?”

“Not our problem, except we would be losing two guests or maybe all four. Brenda has already told them that will happen if there is trouble. She hasn’t said much, but I think she is somewhat envious. I suspect you have reaped the benefits of her talking with Joni and Sarah. Think about it.”

“Is Judy involved in this arrangement?”

“No. She is planning to live here the rest of her life or as long as Charlie is alive. She is so sweet, but she is dedicated to making her brother as happy as she can and he is happy here. It is sad as she was engaged to be married, but then she made this choice on her own. What a price she is paying. She told Brenda and me that she had been planning a family as soon as she was married. Now it is impossible. Don’t you feel sorry for her?”

“I do, but I suppose it can’t be helped. It is a waste, for she is so sweet and beautiful. I guess I’ll go wake Brenda and ask her why I haven’t been informed of what has been going on.”

“You’d do better, son, to make love to her if you feel you have to wake her up at all. A wife is like a garden and needs tending to.” Mom turned and went back across the yard and I heard the barn door open and then close. A light showed for about five minutes in the new window we had installed and then it went out. I waited another five minutes and decided Mom had found herself a bed, maybe as long as she was alive.

I didn’t wake Brenda and I didn’t go to sleep for quite some time. It was not Brenda or Mom, and it was not Charlie in my thoughts. Judy filled my mind. She was still short of thirty years and had so far been denied a chance to live a life that brought happiness. It was so sad and I felt sorry for her.

Mom was making breakfast as per usual in the morning when I got up. She flicked a glance at me, but didn’t mention last night. Brenda finished her shower and came in to help Mom. The two couples from upstairs in the front rooms came down. I could not see where they acted any different than they ever did toward each other. Must be they were sleeping with their own mate last night.

Judy and Charlie sat down, with Judy right beside her brother as always. Ho came in and sat waiting to say grace. Mom served.

I had a half hour before I had to leave for work. Over the last coffee, I said, “Let’s talk. Ho, you have indicated you want to stay here after the summer is over. I am fine with that and I’d like to have you stay. You’ve done so much for us and the farm, I’m inviting you to make this your home and us as family permanently.”

Tears immediately came to Ho’s eyes. One long glance only went to Mom before he said, “I accept. I will be here where there is little danger and I won’t lose another family. You have allowed me to do so much and I want to do more. Thank you.”

“Judy, and of course Charlie, what are your plans for the future?”

“Thank you for mentioning and including Charlie. People do forget that Charlie is still a person because of the way he is. I wish you could have known him before the accident. He was a brother to be proud of. That is why I am doing for him now. As far as what our plans are, I want to lease the room we live in on a permanent basis. We can afford it and it is really quite reasonable, all things considered.”

“That’s fine. Sometimes Brenda has mentioned finding some part-time work. If she does, then I think we can reduce what you have been paying if you stay and maybe help Mom out in the house. Ho wants to plant more trees and some decorative shrubs before cold weather. You might help him outside with some of these. I also notice Charlie can help a little.”

Joni spoke up, “Jonathan, Rich has asked me to be his bride. Could all of you and us put together a decent wedding for the weekend of Labor Day? That is just five weeks away. Also he and I would like to reserve the room we have now the last week of every month through the winter.”

“Joni isn’t the only one wanting to reserve a room during the cold months. Bob and I do too and we would want the same week as Rich and Joni. When you find and make friends with someone, you can’t lose or forget them. We want to be together as much as possible.”

“This is great Sarah. Brenda and I did not plan on guests during the winter, but this will give us some income and I hope you will consider us as friends as well. She might not have to find part-time work outside because of that.”

“We do.” I happened to glance at Brenda. She was staring at Bob and Rich. They both had a secretive smile on their face. I looked at Mom. For some reason, she did not look as happy. I laid it to fact that Mom would have more work for the winter and she might just want to get away from having guests all the time. I guess I would ask Brenda and Judy to lighten Mom’s duties as much as possible.

“What about our wedding on Labor Day?”

“With all of us working together, I promise we will see that you have the finest of weddings.” I looked around the table and could see only happy faces. “I have to leave for work now. I do miss a lot when I’m not here don’t I?” This was a subtle reminder to Mom to keep me in the loop from now on.

There was a flurry of wedding planning. There were going to be more than fifty people in attendance. I suggested a pig roast. One of my coworkers did this as a sideline, and I called him immediately. He had Labor Day open and I signed him up to do the porker.

Bob and Sarah rented a tent in case it rained. They also signed for the chairs and what dishes and utensils that would be needed. All of this was to be delivered and the tent raised by the rental company. They would come the next day and remove it all.

Just as soon as the guest list was approved, calls were made to the local motels and the one hotel in town for reservations. When food other than the pig was discussed, I was a little concerned about the cost. Rich said, “Don’t worry about it, Jonathan. Joni’s dad handed me a credit card and its limit is higher than one we will ever have.”

The day of the wedding was full of excitement brought on by warm sunshine, and happiness was the order of the day. Charlie was nervous and Judy kept him in the background as much as possible. The wedding itself went well. Sarah and Bob of course were their friends’ witnesses. As they say, the wine flowed freely and the party got wilder and noisier. This came after the pig was reduced to just a few bones and scraps.

The wedding party was ready to leave. Not surprising Bob and Sarah had reservations at the same hotel where the honeymooners were staying. I think this was going to be a wedding night to remember--not just for the bride and groom either.

Back at the farm, we all had more to drink than I suppose we should have. Brenda was actually slurring her words. Mom was tipsy and Ho was singing a song in Vietnamese. No one was listening.

Charlie hadn’t had any liquor, but he was jumpy from all the noise. I was surprised when Judy came up and asked me to take Charlie to their room. “I’ll give him the order and he’ll follow you right into our room. He will lie down and, if you would stay until he calms down in about fifteen minutes, he will go right to sleep. I really would like to have one more glass of wine.”

I thought Judy should have a chance to enjoy the day with a small break from watching her brother, so I said sure. Judy told her brother exactly what to do and he did just as he was supposed to. I took his shoes off and he lay down on the bed. Ten minutes later, he appeared to be asleep, so I went back outside. I saw Mom and Ho going into the horse barn. Their day was done.

Everyone was gone. Judy was sitting alone in the tent. The caterers had gone and it was quiet for a change. I poured Judy another glass of wine, which emptied the bottle. I hunted around and found a cooler with a few more cans of beer. I grabbed a pounder and popped the top returning to sit down beside Judy.

I couldn’t look at her. She was dressed in yellow with a matching ribbon in her hair. It was late in the season for this color, but Judy would look good in this if it was in the dead of winter.

She had enough wine to be maudlin. “Jonathan, you know you have treated me better than anyone else has in my whole life. I could easily fall in love with you. I know I can't do that. I mean look at me, I am just a woman who sleeps with her brother. No one says much but everyone looks down on me. I spend half my time explaining my situation, but people still do because they think that is what I want.

“You have been so good to Charlie and me. He trusts you. The first of the summer when we arrived, he didn’t trust anyone. Now he trusts both Brenda and your Mom. You people are the best.”

“You know, Judy, maybe you explain too much. You both have the same last names. When questioned, let people think he is your husband and not your brother who was in a terrible auto accident. Go heavy on the accident and they won’t question your relationship. Let them assume what they will.”

“But everyone here knows we are brother and sister.”

“I promise Mom or Brenda or Ho will not tell. Who else is there? Everyone else has left for the season. When they come back, I’ll give them the word, or I won’t let them stay.”

“You’d do that for me?”

“I would. Anything I can do to save you from being unhappy, I will do.”

“Jonathan, would you do one more thing for me? I do not see Brenda or your Mom. Would you kiss me? Where is Brenda, anyway?”

“I haven’t seen her. She probably went in and crashed. She drank more than she usually does. Mom was headed to bed with Ho. Come, I’ll walk you to the house. You know I have often wondered what it would be like to kiss you. When we get in the house we will find out what it is like, won’t we. Judy, please don’t ask for more. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt Brenda.”

“I won’t ask you to.”

We did hold hands walking slowly across the yard. Damn, did I ever want to take her in my arms and hold her. I wanted to make her troubles go away. I wanted to make her brother well. I wanted her to be happy!

We stepped inside the door to the kitchen. I could not hear Brenda. I turned to Judy and she came into my arms. This woman was thirteen years younger than I was. Why would she want to kiss an old guy like me? She did and I obliged. Her lips were soft at first but then they became more demanding. I was lost. She brought one of my hands to her breast and pushed the other down to her butt. “I wish I could be your Brenda, but I promised. Kiss me once more and I will let you go.”

“I wish you could be my Brenda too. It just would hurt too many people. Just one more kiss and then I have to go.” I couldn’t let her go yet. She turned around and backed up to me. Then she took both of my hands so I could cup both breasts.

Just a minute she held me and then her hands took mine away from her body and she ran from the kitchen. I went up the stairs to my room. Brenda was not there, but I was not worried. I lay down and was just about ready to close my eyes and dream of what had just happened. The door opened and Judy stood there. There were tears in her eyes.

“What happened? Is something wrong? Are you hurt?”

“Jonathan, I’m hurting for you. Come see what I mean.” I followed Judy down from the attic, through the kitchen and paused at the door to Judy’s room. She pushed it open.

Brenda was lying on her bed and Charlie had his arm around her. He was asleep and I guessed Brenda was passed out. They had definitely had intercourse. Judy pushed me back out of the room and closed the door. “Please don’t create a scene. It will upset Charlie. This really messes up our lives doesn’t it? Jonathan, don’t blame Brenda. Don’t blame Charlie either. He is the way he is. I can tell you what must have happened. Brenda must have come in and Charlie asked her if she was Carol. She was probably curious and answered yes.”

“That’s no excuse for them engaging sex.”

“The condition Brenda was in, she wouldn’t stop him, especially if she let him kiss her. Charlie is extremely hard to deny if and when he gets that far.”

“You are saying he raped her?”

“No, I’m not saying that at all. You kissed me and you hated to stop when you knew it was not right. Charlie does not know and Brenda was more than half-drunk. Multiply my kiss by ten and with no restrictions in place, what happened was inevitable.”

“Brenda and I have never cheated on each other. She has been my whole life and I trusted her. Life was just getting good for us and now this has happened. I don’t know as I can get over her doing this to me.”

“Jonathan, Charlie is a wonderful lover even when he doesn’t know what he is doing. Once he starts, a woman loses herself in his ministrations.”

“You know this from first-hand knowledge?”

“That I am not going to answer. You don’t need to know something as private about me as that is. Brenda must have realized at some point she was doing wrong. If she doesn’t, she certainly will know when she comes to and finds herself in bed with Charlie. Give her a chance to apologize to you. She will ask for your forgiveness and you can give it to her and you can go on with your life.”

“Somehow I feel it isn’t going to be that simple. I’m going for a walk in the woods.”

“May I come with you?”

“No, I have to sort this out in my mind. I can’t do it having a distraction like you with me.”

As I went out the door, Judy spoke, “Jonathan, I am so sorry. I am sorry for the breach between you and Brenda, and yes, sorry for myself as well. I was so happy here.” She looked so distressed, I knew she meant every word. I turned and headed across the pasture. The cows came running up to me to be patted, but I ignored them.

I reached the woods, but didn’t go too far into them. I found a blown-down tree and sat on it to think about what had happened today. What would Brenda having sex outside our marriage do to our relationship as husband and wife? Could I get over it? Only time would tell. I was uncomfortable sitting on the log, so I found a bed of moss to lie in.

My mind was in a whirl. I concluded it wasn’t anyone’s fault, just a set of circumstances that got out of control. I decided I could forgive Brenda, and certainly Judy. Charlie who was the one that caused it and he could have forgiveness as well. He just did not know, so there was no reason not to forgive. I slept for over an hour. I stumbled out of the woods in the dark and made my way to the house.

Judy was sitting in the kitchen in her nightgown. “I was beginning to worry about you.”

“I’m fine. I did some thinking and then took a nap. Is Brenda in our room yet?”

“No. She is still with Charlie. I am terribly worried about how you are going to handle this.”

“I’ve decided to get beyond today and try to convince myself what Brenda and Charlie did never happened.”

“What about us, Charlie and me?”

“Nothing has changed. You certainly haven’t done anything wrong. Are we going to wake Brenda?”

“No, not yet. I want her to wake realizing where she is and what she has done.” I headed for the attic, but paused as Judy spoke, “Jonathan, you are a big man. Not many men would be so forgiving. I’ll lie on the couch until she comes out of my room. Good night.”

I crawled into bed but I didn’t sleep. I was up once, but when I came back to bed, I was in worse shape than before. I almost wish I hadn’t got up. It must have been almost four when I felt Brenda crawl in next to me. She prodded me just before breakfast time, “Jonathan, can we talk? Something happened yesterday and I did something I need you to forgive me for. I slept with Charlie and had sex with him.”

“I know as I saw you in bed with him. It is going to be difficult to get beyond it, but I am willing to put it behind me if you say that it won’t happen again.”

“It won’t happen again, I promise. It was because I drank too much, that’s all.” A thought popped into my mind as she was saying this. For what reason and why had she gone to Charlie’s room in the first place? Ten hours she was in his bed. I let it pass, kissed her and we went down to breakfast together.

I watched Charlie. He ignored everyone around him as usual. He didn’t glance at my wife. He had sex with her last evening and he didn’t even know or remember it. He certainly didn’t throw it up in my face and that helped a little. In fact, I felt I might get beyond this.

---

I was to finish out the workweek after the holiday and then I had the next week for a vacation. Ben, my son, his wife, Sandy, with my two young granddaughters, ages (1and 2) would be here for this coming weekend. They never stayed more than three days. It was usually just long enough for them to get up the courage to ask for a loan that we all knew would never be paid off.

Ben was surprised at the changes that had been made to the farm and the house. We had written, but I guess he didn’t pay much attention. He took a dislike to Ho Lee.

Mom set him straight. “Ben, Ho Lee is the best thing that ever happened to us. Look around the place. Every bit is directly or indirectly because of him and his energy. Speaking of energy, he always has enough to make me happy when we crawl into bed together. So keep your tongue off him or you can leave right now. By the way, how much are you touching up your father for this trip out to see us?”

“Gram, I apologize and just to let you know. I have my act together and wasn’t going to ask Dad for any money this time. Another thing, I wondered if you would invite us for Thanksgiving this year. The girls need to begin to know their grandparents.”

“We would be pleased to have you here. It will be crowded the week you plan on coming. Two of the rooms are rented out that particular week. If all of you can squeeze into my room here in the house, I’ll stay in the barn until after you leave. Ho and I were going to move in here the first of November, but December will do.”

When he was introduced to Judy and Charlie, I handled it. “This is Judy and Charlie Comstock. They have what used to be the parlor for their room. They will be with us all winter. Charlie was in an auto accident and it has left him somewhat incapacitated. You will get used to him ignoring you. Sandy, if Charlie should ask if you are Carol, make sure you say no. If you said you were, he gets upset. It’s his past, or something he half remembers.”

I glanced at Judy. She seemed pleased I had got over the hump so easily that had worried her. I then looked at Brenda. Her face was flushed. I hoped it was a touch of shame.

Ho kept in the background as he usually did. He was pleased when Ben came out and held some of the fruit trees Ho was putting in so the soil could be tamped solidly around the base. Ben complimented him on convincing me to organize an orchard. Ho gave out one of his rare smiles. Too soon, Ben and Sandy had to leave. There was a better feeling among us all. This was something that had certainly been lacking before this.

Brenda and my relationship were very strained at times. I suppose that would be normal under the circumstances. Except for what we discussed the morning after, Brenda didn’t seem to have any regrets about going to bed with Charlie. I tried to talk about it one time two weeks after Labor Day. She shut me down and told me to get over it.

Two days later, she said she had interviewed for a job in an office and was hired. “I’ll help in the evenings, but Judy and Mom are here during the day. I need to get away from everyone for a few hours. You’ll have me home every night.” The way she told me, I knew there was no room for discussion.

I did get in one remark. “This isn’t the way we planned to live. It is less of a struggle for us, but I don’t see where we are any happier. I almost wish we hadn’t started this.”

“I know this isn’t the way we planned to live, but we have met some new people and with some of them we see how exciting their lives are. It isn’t my fault and it isn’t anything you have done. We are in our early forties and have been married for twenty-two years. Maybe we are too used to each other. It happens to other couples all the time.” Yes, and I thought, when trust disappears, love leaves soon after. Our love life had taken a hit as well. We still were intimate, but I found no joy in it.

The last week of the month, the honeymooners returned for their week. Bob and Sarah came with them. I took it they hadn’t split up and had been together since the wedding. They did not try to hide their lifestyle at all now. Brenda spent a lot of time with them, first one couple and then the other. I guess they shared all with her.

I was approached by Bob and Rich and they asked if Brenda and I wanted to join them a time or two. I declined for both of us, which upset Brenda. She was actually thrilled that the younger men would want her to join them. We were arguing now. I could see that she wanted to be involved with others and upset I wouldn’t. I had to end this. It was another sleepless night. I had a plan for myself to follow before morning.

I made a statement at breakfast the next morning. “There are ten of us gathered here. We started the meal by holding hands and saying a blessing. I’m probably the least religious of all of you. Why did we join hands I wonder? Are we all sinners? Never mind. Those are just some thoughts that are in me sometimes.

“This is something else and this goes back to when we started making the farm into a place to rent out to lodgers. Mom came up with a plan for the farm and our home here to let us survive. We worked our butts off to implement the plan and it worked for a few weeks. Ho Lee set in play a way to have a food supply to feed the guests. It has started to produce an abundance of fruits and vegetables and eventually will feed five times the number of people who live here.

“The first two sets of lodgers arrived and they started swapping partners amongst themselves. My mother, jumps into bed with Ho Lee. Judy and Charlie arrive and even being brother and sister, they sleep together. Whether they perform incest I haven’t asked, but I suspect they do.

“My wife gets drunk and has to try on a person who definitely isn’t capable of deciding anything for or against whether he should or not. I think if he is aware at all, he thinks he was making love to his dead wife, Carol. To me that is really sad. It is probably hypocritical of me, but I did kiss Judy. I admit I wanted more when we did and we had been drinking which is a good excuse. While we were kissing, my wife was cheating on me. I broke away from Judy, which was very difficult in the heat of the moment.

“What I’m trying to get across is--this is the home of generations of my ancestors. I cannot believe they would condone me turning this into a chicken ranch. If I thought for one minute my wife still loved me I wouldn’t be saying this. I believe she has moved on and wants a lifestyle that I can’t in good conscience join.

“I’ll be filing for a divorce on Monday. I will not take a home away from her because she has helped make it what it is. I have decided it will be me who is moving out. I will also be placing the farm in a realtor’s hands to be sold. Mom, when it is sold this should give you enough money to live out your life in comfort, especially if Ho stays with you.

“The rest of you, I’m canceling your reservations as of the first of October. If Mom and Brenda want to extend them, that will be up to them. It will take awhile to sell the farm, giving you time to move somewhere if it sells. The taxes are paid until April 1 of next year. I am taking $3,000 of what is in the farm account. If Brenda leaves, she can take an equal amount. Before the divorce is final, we can sit down and come to some agreement for the final settlement.

“I met and welcomed all of you guests when you made reservations. It seems now as though the farm has been turned into a whorehouse. I will not be a party to it. I have a motel room where I’ll be staying for the week I need to clean up my affairs. After that, I have accepted a job out on the west coast. Please don’t try to contact me unless one of you dies. You can get in touch with me through Ben. He will have my address.

“I’m going to miss every one of you and some more than others. Most of all, it will be a disappointment how things have turned out for the three of us who started this. Mom, you take care of yourself. Brenda, it only takes a little mistake to destroy love, but really, was it a mistake? I would have prevented it if I could have, but it was too late before I found you out. The rest of you, I hope you find happiness in all of your endeavors.”

I had a bag packed and I lugged it out of the coat closet where I had stored it. Mom was sobbing. Brenda was just sitting looking neither right nor left. Judy followed me out to my pickup. “Jonathan, it was me who caused this wasn’t it?”

“Not all, but some. Most of it was the situation in which we found ourselves. I can see what Mom, Brenda and I planned never would have worked even if you and Charlie hadn’t reserved a room. You take care yourself, and take care of Charlie. I wish I had known him when he was a whole person. He must have been a great guy.”

“Goodbye, Jonathan. Charlie was a lot like you and he probably would have acted just as you are in this same situation. I love him and I have to tell you, I love you too.” Tears were running down Judy’s cheeks. I glanced toward the house. Mom was standing in the doorway. I didn’t see Brenda. I got in my pickup and drove away.

A week later, I was on a plane to California. I had a copy of the divorce suit that I had filed and an account number with less than five thousand dollars in it. Not much to show for the life of a forty-two-year-old man.

Chapter Three

I could guess what the conversation would be in the house when I got into my truck and drove off. They would be saying things did not go as I wanted them to, so I ran away. I did run away. I hadn’t given the real reason. I know a person is not supposed to eavesdrop, but I inadvertently had. The night I saw Brenda in bed with Charlie I could have gotten beyond what she had done.

However, later that night when she woke Charlie up after sleeping several hours she had said, “Charlie, this is Carol. I need you to make love to me.” He of course obliged. This was clear when I went downstairs just as Brenda was finally leaving Charlie’s room much later. I heard Judy and Brenda arguing. Judy realized what Brenda had done and she accused her of just using Charlie for her own pleasure. Brenda just asked why she didn’t stop us. There was no answer and I wondered as well.

Brenda begged Judy not to tell me and Judy finally promised she wouldn’t. Still I might have got beyond it, but Brenda laid all of the blame on being inebriated. She certainly wasn’t drunk after she woke up and used Charlie two more hours for her own pleasure. Twenty-three years gone to hell.

---

I called Ben just as soon as I found a small place to live. It was a loft in an old factory building and near the factory where I was working. I could see the Pacific out my window. I worked for the same company as I had in the east and I had transferred. Ben didn’t say much when I called, just that Gram and he had talked and no one knew why I had left so abruptly.

It took me two hours to explain to him what made me leave. I didn’t trash his mother other than saying some mistakes were made. “Ben, don’t blame your mother on this. We were married when we were in our teens and we have been faithful all of our lives. We have lived our lives right on the farm all of these years. If we hadn’t started this lodge, nothing would have changed. We did though, and it has opened up things we never even thought about before. It has for me as well as your mother.

“It is something I don’t want to fight about, so I was the one to leave. I’ll be back in the spring and whatever develops, I believe your mother and I will end up as friends even if we aren’t married anymore.”

“Somehow I knew that, Dad.”

“Ben, please don’t give anyone my address. I will write your grandmother soon. She is a survivor and she has a man to hang onto now. I could have wished Ho Lee had asked Mom to marry him. That might have made me feel better about what has happened.”

“Dad, he’s an Oriental.”

“So--your great-great grandfather married an Indian squaw. I will tell you right now, Ho Lee is all man and I’d be proud to have him as a stepfather. He has to make it legal, though.”

“I take it you won’t be around for Thanksgiving?”

“No, but I wish you would still go and be with the family. Gram will still welcome you. Your mother will too. Ben, I am hanging up. Say hi to the girls and Sandy. I hope your life turns out better than mine.”

“Dad, your life isn’t over with yet. Have faith.”

I wrote my mother apologizing for leaving so suddenly. Three days later Ben called. “Gram got your letter, but she is complaining you didn’t really give her a reason. You want to share with me?”

“No.”

“Okay, I guess I can figure it out. It is something Mom did or didn’t do. Let us see, she is in her early forties. It can’t be menopause. She should be short of that by two to five years. That is the norm anyway. Therefore, I am guessing Mom jumped the fence and went grazing in greener pastures and you couldn’t handle it. How close am I?”

“You’re right on, but that isn’t the whole story. It is who she chose for a partner. The disabled man is one who can only remember one thing. That is love he had for his wife before he was injured. Your mother traded on that fact and used it for her own pleasure. Drunk once, yes, but then she dipped into the well twice more when she was sober. To me, that is the worst kind of abuse.

“I thought I could handle it. There was so much going on around the farm at the time I found out, I just lied to myself and was going to live with it. I found I couldn’t. End of story.”

There was silence on the other end of the phone. Then, “Go on Dad. There has to be more. You wouldn’t leave the farm just because Mom cheated on you. You would divorce her and kick her out. The divorce, maybe, but I know you wouldn’t let the farm go.”

“The farm is listed.”

“I know, I saw it in the listings, but you have the price so high no one will look at it. You don't have to say anymore for now. I’ll figure it out during the Thanksgiving holiday. Call me. Love to you, Dad.”

I was lonely on Thanksgiving Day more so than I ever had been before. I thought about the fireplace and wondered if it had been started. That was the plan before everything went to hell. I thought about Brenda. We had had so many happy years together. I almost called her to tell her I was coming home and would drop the divorce. I didn’t though. I still had four months to do that before it became final. I would know by Christmas what I was going to do.

It was six in the evening my time, when my phone rang. Good, I thought, Ben is calling me. “Hello.”

“Jonathan, it’s me, Mom. I made Ben give me your number. How are you?”

“I’m fine, Mom. It has been a lonely day for me though. I’ve been missing you.”

“Have you been eating okay? I worry about you.”

“Hey I’m forty-one, almost forty-two.”

“I know, but I remember when you were a little boy. There has been quite a crowd here today. Ben and his family have arrived. Judy and Charlie are still here. Two more couples came last weekend. I wanted to tell you things aren’t so rosy now as they were before with Joni and Sarah. When they come back again next month, they reserved different weeks. Joni and Rich have the same week, but Sarah and Bob will be here the week before.”

“Is Ho Lee still there?”

“Yes. Jonathan that is how I was able to get your number from Ben. Ho has asked me to marry him. The reason he did not ask me before is that he thought it was me who owned the farm. He thought it would be too much for me to share. I convinced him that you owned the property, but I had a third of the business part. He could share in that because of what he has done to make it better. Ben said this was what you wanted.”

“Yes and you tell Ho that I’m glad he is going to be my stepfather. When is the wedding?”

“Christmas week two days before, I think, but the date may change. You will be here to see me become Mrs. Lee?”

“I will. Mom, you haven’t mentioned Brenda. How is she? Ben doesn’t mention his mother.”

“I was afraid you were going to ask. I don’t know what your feelings are toward her. This may hurt, but you did ask. Brenda is here at night only during the week. Weekends she stays downtown. She was here for dinner today and she had a guest with her. He seems nice, but I don’t know anything about him. He is a man she works with or for, I can’t tell which.

“It was pretty uncomfortable for her, but I don’t think she is sorry you sued her and she doesn’t appear to have any regrets that I can tell. Ben probably knows more of the situation than I do.”

“That’s good. I guess we just fell out of love. She was the one to trigger it, but it probably would have happened at some point. I could have done something to break us up as well as her.”

“You haven’t asked about Judy and Charlie? Judy inquires about you. She feels guilty, believing it was she who drove you away.”

“She shouldn’t feel guilty, although her being in the house did have something to do with me leaving. Most of the reason was how Brenda treated Charlie. She took the worst kind of advantage of the poor guy and I wasn’t going to let it continue. I am as guilty in a small way as well. I kissed Judy one time when we were both drinking. Neither of us wanted to stop, but we did. Would I have stopped the next time I kissed her if I had the chance? I just don’t know.

“I felt it was better to remove myself from the temptation for awhile. Anyway, I think she is a wonderful person and is doing a great job caring for her brother. She has enough on her plate without me roiling the waters.”

“Judy might not think that way.”

“I can’t help it. Someday I intend to talk with her, just to see how she feels about me if she stays. I will be free in another four months and then we’ll both know. I will probably be home for good by that time. I am here for six months.”

“Jonathan, you are one in a million. Another man in your situation would have had her in your bed and damn the consequences. You’re better than I am. Look how I seduced Ho Lee.”

“It worked for you, Mom, but you were free to do so. I’m not.”

“I’ll hang up now. You know son, this is the best conversation I have had with you in many years. You won’t mind if I call again will you?”

“No, you may call anytime. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. I love you, Mom. Bye for now.”

I sat back and thought about where I was now. I felt good about Mom being married soon. Lee was an anglicized name so if she were addressed as Mrs. Lee, it wouldn’t trouble her. Not that it would anyway. I could understand Ho’s delay in wedding Mom. It was just as she said to me over the phone. He didn’t want to seem grasping.

I had been feeling guilty about what I had done to Brenda, but it didn’t seem to bother her. Maybe she was waiting for this divorce. There was no doubt I was pushing her out of my life after we had been a couple for so long. Keeping the farm going had been a struggle for so many years and I knew she chaffed about the life we were living before this summer.

We came up with changing the farm to a lodging place. It had eased a lot of the burden on us as individuals, but it had exposed us to people with different values and lifestyles. We were able to relax and go out more. This was because all of our guests pitched in and helped on the daily duties. We certainly weren’t treated as servants.

I had to admit there was something like a sexual virus in the air. There was Mom, who became a sexual being. There was Joni and Sarah, who were making a game of marriage. Yes, there was Judy who everyone thought was having sex with her sibling. It was not known for sure, but suspected and definitely out of the norm. This I suppose was titillating to some. Drunk, Brenda had caught the virus. Hell, I had caught it too.

I spent a lot of time thinking about home. I took all three of my meals at a little diner on the corner of the street. I worked and did not have any social life. I take that back, there was a little country bar that had amateur bands playing there on Friday and Saturday evenings. I had staked out a seat at the end of the bar and as long as the place wasn’t crowded, the bartender didn’t care if I nursed my beer as long as I wanted.

The next time I talked to Mom, I asked her about the farm’s financial situation. She said it was fine. I advised her to look for a couple of more lodgers to fill in some of the weeks when there was no one booked. “Who would handle that? Brenda is not taking any interest in the place at all. She hasn’t come home on Friday the last two weeks.”

“How about Judy? Would she help you find one or two lodgers?”

“She is a big help. She and Brenda are barely civil. I don’t blame Judy because she tries. I have to defer to Brenda though, because whatever you think, she is still my daughter-in-law and the mother of my grandson.”

“I know Mom. I understand. Tell me when she is home and I’ll call and see if I can talk to her.”

“She is home right now.” I heard Mom speak to Brenda.

“Hi, Jonathan, this is a surprise. I mean you wanting to talk to me. I suppose you are having fun out there in Hollywood.”

“First, I’m not in Hollywood. Actually I’m living in a two room loft, take my meals in a greasy spoon and drink two beers in a bar two nights a week. I’m doing exactly the same work for the same company as I did at home. And how is your world?”

“Actually, I think it sounds much better than yours. I work and I like my job. I think you cut off your nose to spite your face. I’m dating a co-worker and I am sleeping with him two or three nights a week. He lives in a tiny one-bedroom apartment. If we decide to make this permanent in the future we’ll have to get something bigger.”

“I made a choice to leave. At least it kept me from saying a lot of hurtful things to you. Brenda, please may we talk just a minute without sniping at each other? I’d like a favor.”

“What is it?”

“Would you see about getting Mom a couple of lodgers to fill the rooms occasionally? Mom says her finances are okay, but I worry.”

“I can’t see where I should do that for either of you. Besides, I’m not staying here much longer. Pat and I are looking for an apartment so we can move in together. Get Judy to do it. I am miffed at her. She promised she wouldn’t tell you about me staying with Charlie after I sobered up.”

“Brenda, Judy didn’t say a thing to me about you screwing Charlie. I did hear you and her arguing that night and I did hear her promise you not to tell me. I was just coming down the stairs to get you and your voices were raised. I expected you to confess to me in the morning and you did not. Even then, I tried to get over what you had done, but eventually I concluded I couldn’t trust you.

“I think I treated you pretty damned well considering everything. You crawled into the bed of a man who was not even whole. Don’t tell me you didn’t want to swap partners with Sarah and Joni and get into bed with Bob and Rich? There was no trust left in me about you. I made the decision to leave before I became violent.”

“Maybe I did and maybe I went further with Rich and Bob than I should have, but don’t tell me you didn’t have the hots for Judy? I saw how she cried when you left. I think you are the biggest hypocrite there ever was.”

“I admit it I was attracted to her, but that is all. That is another reason I’m out here. I could not trust myself any longer being around her. Damn it Brenda, if I had, that would have made all ten people living at the farm screwing someone they didn’t have a right to, so think about that. Now will you help Mom or not?”

“I’ll think about it. Is there anything else you want to say?”

Right now, I was living a lousy life and I suppose I was hoping Brenda was hurting too. “How serious are you with this man you are seeing?” There was a long silence.

“Jonathan that is the reason we are looking for a place to live. I have to find out. I want to be sure I’m not on the rebound from you. He is a nice person. He is nowhere near as intense as you are. I think he is just what I need.”

That hope was gone when she answered my question, but she didn't need to know that. “I hope he is. You know we are tied together through Ben and the girls. You also put in a lot of happy years with me. You were part of the farm too.

“I never gave you the chance to sit down with me and make any kind of settlement about the home we had for so many years together. When it comes time and you need money to buy a home, I will help if it isn’t too outrageous. That is one reason I want Mom to have the rooms rented more than they are now. I’m coming home for Mom’s wedding and maybe we can talk.”

“I won’t be in town for her wedding. Pat and I have reservations in Florida for that week. Jonathan, I have just decided. I will help Selma find someone to fill the rooms. That will have to be my wedding present to her. Damn it Jonathan, the more we talk the more I can see your side of things. I guess that this divorce is a good thing. When are you coming home for good?”

“I half-way promised the company I would stay for six months. That was so I could avoid being around you. I’ll be home by April first for sure.”

“Okay, I’ll see you then if not before. Goodnight Jonathan.”

“Goodnight Brenda.”

Mom called the next night. “Jonathan, I don’t know what you said to Brenda. She spoke to Judy this morning at breakfast and suggested they sit down and write a new ad for the paper. She said outright she would soon be moving in with her co-worker. This would leave one more room open and be more of a burden on me to keep the house up.

“She suggested they write the ad with the condition there would be a slightly reduced rate if the lodger would do some light chores. Play up the family type atmosphere. She also came to me and said she was sorry she would miss my wedding to Ho and then she hugged me. What did you say to her to change her so drastically?”

“Not too much. We just cleared up some issues and misconceptions. We are just moving on with our lives.”

“Son, please don’t let Judy get away. I’m thinking of her as almost a daughter and I would be lost without her. Especially with both you and Brenda gone. Charlie really isn’t that much trouble to any of us. I loved Brenda all the while you were married to her, but she did get off track and I don’t blame you a bit for getting upset. You got upset with me and I’m your mother and you have to love me, but it is different when it happens with your wife.”

“Don’t talk about it. Things are being smoothed out a little and maybe they will stay that way. You and Ho getting married will help a lot. I hope he will be satisfied with me as a stepson.”

“He is. Don’t blame him either for me sleeping with him.”

“Mom, as I said before, please don’t talk about it.”

I wanted the days to go by so I could go home. I had not had one happy day since I had come west. It was my own fault, but still something I had to do.

I was getting up to go to work on December 17. My phone rang. It was my mother. “Jonathan, can you come home? Ho and I are here alone with guests. We are having a terrible ice storm. Judy had Charlie helping her chip ice off the steps. He slipped and fell. He banged his head and Rescue just got him loaded into the ambulance to take him to the hospital.

“There was a little blood leaking out his ears, so he really must be bad off. With what happened in the car accident, Judy is really worried. It is still raining and freezing on. I can’t ever remember a storm such as this, this early in December.”

“I’ll see what I can do, Mom. I will call when I’m expected to land in Hartford. See if you can arrange to have me picked up.” I made arrangements, but it took me twenty-four hours to get to Hartford with all of the delays I had to go through.

“Hi Jonathan.”

“Brenda, I didn’t expect it would be you picking me up.”

“The place is closed where I work. The landline to the farm went out right after you called, but your Mom asked me to come get you just before it did. You may have to walk in because so many trees are down. Ho and your mother are using the fireplace for heat in part of the house. She has four people in for the week, but none of them wanted to start out for home in this storm. I’m living downtown now and the interstate is passable.”

“Have you had any reports on Charlie?”

“I stopped at the hospital for a minute. I found one of the nurses I know. He is still alive, but is in a coma. The doctors had to put a drain into his skull because there was some bleeding and it was putting pressure on his brain. They think it is a minor vessel, because it stopped draining soon after.”

“You know I’m blaming some of this on myself. If I hadn’t got my back up about you, I would have been right at home and Charlie wouldn’t have had to be outside chipping ice.”

“Oh Christ, lighten up Jonathan. That is the whole trouble with you. Everyone wants to keep bad things from happening, but they still do. Look at you and me. You didn’t want me to spread my legs for someone else, but I did and there was no way you could have prevented it. I would have found a way to get into bed with Charlie sometime when Judy wasn’t hovering right over him. Don’t think I was as drunk as I let on either.

“I’ll tell you one thing, Charlie was quite the lover with or without a brain. You caught me. There is nothing for either of us to feel guilty about. I have found a man I’m interested in again, the sex is great, and yet he can’t measure up to many of the things I had with you. I would like to have you for a friend again someday, but if we are not, that is okay too. There were other things I did during the summer that I am ashamed of now that I thought were okay at the time.

“I’ll give you a word of advice. Judy has feelings for you. Make an effort to get close to her. She thinks you are the best thing since whipped cream. If things develop, it could be she will be a far better wife for you than I ever was. I hope she is. Now shut up, as I’ve had my say, and I don’t want to discuss it anymore.”

“Okay, I won’t. When we get to town, please drop me at the hospital.”

“There you go, you’re finally making some sense again.”

I asked what room Charlie Comstock was in and was told he was in ICU. I inquired if his sister was with him and was informed she was. I said I would like to talk to her in the waiting room if I could. I was led to one while an aide went to fetch her.

“Jonathan, how did you get here? I didn’t know you were coming. You must know about Charlie?” All of this time Judy was advancing toward me.

“Mom called me and Brenda came and picked me up from the airport.” By this time, I was holding Judy in my arms. “How is Charlie?”

“I don’t know. They say he is in a coma, but it is not too deep. They estimate he will be coming out of it in two days if he going to make it. And it is a possibility he could slip away. Worst-case scenario is the possibility he will be in a vegetative state. I’ve put my mind on hold and hope for the best. Jonathan, I’m glad you are here. I have tried calling home, but the lines are down.”

I was holding Judy in my arms, but still concerned about how things were at the lodge. “I guess I had better see if I can get up there. I’m not too worried. Mom said they had the fireplace going. They have enough gas for the generator. That has turned out to be a good investment. It starts automatically when the power goes out.”

“Can’t you stay with me for a little while? You have talked to everyone while you have been gone except me. I wish you had said good-bye to me when you left. I suppose you and Brenda made up on the way up from the airport.”

“How would that make you feel if I did?”

“Jonathan, it would break my heart. I know I don’t have any claim to you, but I can’t help it.”

I took Judy’s face between my hands and placed my lips on hers. “Judy, let’s get Charlie better before we discuss us. I am still married for a few more months. Brenda is definitely out of my life. She is waiting on the divorce and after seeing you today, I am too.”

“Then there is hope for me. I can live with that for a while. In fact it gives me more hope in case Charlie doesn’t get better. Don’t get me wrong, I feel he will though.”

“Okay, I’m going to get me a taxi to take me as close to home as he can. I’ll walk in the rest of the way. I will be back when it gets light in the morning. Would you like to kiss me one more time?”

I made it into the house just before dark. There were a lot of trees down across the road, but nothing too large. It would be possibly as long as two or three days before the work crews could get the power lines cleared and phone and electricity restored. I only fell once. I walked into the house. “Hi Mom.”

“Jonathan, it is good to see you. How’s the road?”

“It is plugged solid, but just with small trees. The wires are down but there aren’t any broken utility poles. How are things here?”

“Fine. We have two couples who were supposed to leave yesterday, but they have decided this was such an exciting experience they will be here another day or two. They don’t have much choice, but fail to realize it. Bob and Sarah are supposed to be here tomorrow. Did you check in with Judy?”

“Yes. Charlie is in a coma and I took it things can go several ways. Judy has been through this once, so overall I think she is taking it well. Brenda was friendly. I was surprised to see her.”

“She’s still your wife. Not a good one sometimes, but you would have done the same for her if the situations were reversed.”

“I guess I would. What have you got to eat?”

“Ho had a roast for supper. There is a lot of cold meat left. You want crackers and milk to go with it I would guess.”

“Yeah, some things never change. Is there anything that needs doing tonight?”

“Nope, we are all set. You eat and I’ll introduce you to the lodgers we have here. Ho has been sorting the root crops in the cold cellar. I’ll call him up. You may not have liked it at the time, but I have to say I knew what I was doing when I went after that man. He is something.”

“Good for you Mom.” A year ago, I would have said I knew my mother’s mind as well as she did. Who would have thought she would take up with a man so much different than she was--or for the reason she did. You get to thinking your mother is beyond having sexual thoughts when she reached her age. Ha!

Mother and Ho were sleeping in the room off the kitchen. The two sets of guests were using the second floor and the two bedrooms there. When Sarah and Bob came, if they came tomorrow, they would have the attic room. Mom put me into Judy and Charlie’s bed for the night. When they returned, if they did, I would have to find a place for myself. I did not care. I was home and happy. That is all that counted.

Mom was stirring before daylight and I got up with her to prepare breakfast for the guests. Ho came out a few minutes later. I ate, caught up on the farm’s account, and got ready to head downtown. “Mom, I’m going to go over to the factory and arrange to be transferred back here. I have been too homesick to think about going back west.”

“Good. I have been able to keep up, but just barely. I couldn’t have if it wasn’t for Judy.”

I met Bob and Joni walking in as I was going down. Joni and Rich were married in September and here she was vacationing with Bob. I didn’t mention that fact. Joni spoke, “I didn’t expect to see you here. Have you and Brenda got back together?”

“No. Charlie was injured and is in the hospital. Mom couldn’t handle things alone without Judy because Brenda moved out. Judy is with Charlie in the hospital.”

“How bad is he?”

“Yesterday he was in a coma from the concussion and the doctors don’t know. He may not even come out of it.”

“That’s too bad. This is a bad storm. There are some men clearing the road. Do you think it will be passable later today? All of our cases are in the car.”

“I would think maybe.”

“Jonathan, Bob and I will be here over Christmas. Rich and Sarah are coming the day before the holiday. Is that okay with you?”

“It should be. The house is full now, but two couples will be leaving before holiday. I heard you four were not getting along that well. You won’t be fighting will you?”

“We’ve sorted it out. The four of us are not all together as often, but we have not changed the dynamics that much. That way we don’t get on each others nerves.”

“Good. I’ll see you tonight. Oh, tell you what, if you give me the keys to your car and the road is open, I will drive it up when I come from town. If it isn’t, it won‘t matter. Would it be okay if I used it to go visit Judy and Charlie in the hospital?”

“Sure, good plan. Is it like this all the way to the farm?”

“No, you haven’t got much more after you go around the next corner. I’ll see you tonight, hopefully with your car.”

Chapter Four

Judy was sitting in the chair beside Charlie’s bed. “How is Charlie?”

“Not much change. He had a restless spell an hour ago. The doctor checked him right afterward. He says his coma is not too deep. Not as deep as yesterday.”

“This is good?”

“The doctor believes so. How is the road?”

“It might be open for a car by three this afternoon. I met Bob and Joni walking in. I borrowed Bob’s car so I’m hoping I won’t have to walk all the way home.”

“You didn’t have to come today.”

“I wanted to. In another hour, I’m taking you out for lunch. You can leave Charlie for an hour can’t you?”

“I guess I could. A hospital room is so depressing. I’ve been sitting here willing Charlie to wake up, but I get pretty discouraged.”

“Maybe I can cheer you up. I slept in your room last night. I could sense your scent.”

“That’s a nice way of saying you could smell me isn’t it?”

“Yes. I traced it to the soap you use in the shower. I love it. It was an odd shaped cake.”

“That’s because I order it specially made up. You like it, huh?” We were staring into each other’s eyes. In another two minutes, I was going to kiss Judy.

Behind us, “Carol?”

Judy whipped around, and then turned back to me. “Find a nurse.”

Then as I was going out the door, I heard him say more words and not just the Carol I was used to hearing from Charlie. “Judy, am I sick?”

“Charlie you had an auto accident.” Tears were pouring down Judy’s cheeks. I headed for the nurses station. I was informed a nurse would be in directly. I went back to the room.

Charlie was asking, “How long have I been out? I don’t feel too bad. Where are Carol and the kids?”

Judy started sobbing uncontrollably. Charlie knew immediately he had lost his family. “How long ago did it happen?”

“Two years and one month. It happened coming home from your in-laws on Thanksgiving in 2007.

“You mean it is December, 2009 now? I lost Carol and the kids two years ago? What happened?”

“A truck ran into you. You have been in a coma ever since. Charlie, don’t ask any more questions until the doctor comes and talks to you. You have said just one word and that was a name in the last two years. You said that to every woman who looked the least like Carol. We knew how much you loved her. Carol was the only word you said in all that time.”

Just then, the nurse came rushing in. Charlie’s eyes turned to her. The nurse was matronly and she looked harried as she was checking his vital signs. “Pulse is up. Heart rate is elevated some, but not too bad. The neurologist will be here this afternoon to evaluate you. I think you should rest until he sees you. Your wife can sit here by you if she remains quiet. No talking though.” She paused, and then asked, “How much pain are you in?”

Apparently, Charlie was tired, for his eyes closed slowly, but he managed to mumble, “No pain.” The nurse smiled with satisfaction.

Judy followed the nurse into the hall informing her, “I’m his sister. His wife died two years ago. It has been easier to say we are husband and wife because of some of the things I have had to do while caring for my brother.

“Okay, I’ll remember.”

I had been standing just outside and had heard all of this. As the nurse went down the hall, Judy came into my arms looking up into my face. “You heard my brother talking, didn’t you? This is a miracle. He has not spoken but the one word in two years. I can’t believe it.” Tears of joy were coursing down her cheeks. I just hoped Charlie didn’t slip back into a coma. That would be devastating.

It would be worst of all for Charlie, of course. In addition, it would be terrible for Judy, who had just escaped from her duty of the care for her brother 24/7. Last of all, it would be difficult for me as well. I had visions Judy could escape from having to share a bed with Charlie. I wanted her for myself. “Jonathan, come in and sit with me. After I am sure that he is asleep, I’ll go down to the cafeteria for some lunch with you.”

We sat very quietly for fifteen minutes until the nurse came back in to check on Charlie. “Your brother’s doctor has asked for a neurosurgeon and another neurologist to come down from Dartmouth-Hitchcock Medical Center to evaluate him, they’ll be arriving about two thirty. Directly after lunch Mr. Comstock will go down for x-ray and for several tests.

“His records have been faxed to us from the hospital where he was treated right after his first accident. Those are for comparison. Would you be sure to be present to talk to all of the doctors? They will give you his prognosis at that time.”

“Of course we will be here.”

Charlie was sleeping and the nurse said he was comfortable according to his vital signs, so we went down to get some lunch. We ordered and sat eating. Judy looked earnestly at me. “Jonathan, I guess it is confession time. I know I have led you to believe that I was intimate with my brother. I can swear on a bible that I haven’t had intercourse with him although I have been in his bed for the last year and a half.

“Let me tell you a little about Charlie and his wife, Carol. Carol has a sister, named Tina, and he dated Tina before he became interested in Carol. Tina relinquished all hold on him when she saw he was attracted to Carol. I know she still has deep affection for Charlie and it probably is as strong now as it has ever been because she has never married. How do I know this? When Charlie recovered to the point that you saw him this summer, it was going to be she that was to take care of him.

“Yes, she slept with him much like I have been doing with the exception she was having sex with Charlie. This is the part where it got tricky. Just about every night after Charlie is in bed for two or so hours, he becomes very agitated. He always asked for Carol. You know that, because you have heard him.

“Tina thought by saying she was Carol, he wouldn’t recognize he was with someone different. However, he did, especially with her. Sometime during the sex act, he would realize it and became almost too violent with her. In the morning, she would have bruises in several places. It was decided that she could not sleep in his bed at night because of this.

“We tried aides and nurses when we were searching for a solution to keep him calm during the night. We also discovered I could calm him when he became agitated by singing some children’s lullabies he knew when we were together as kids.”

“What about when Brenda crawled into his bed?”

“According to the reports from the aides and nurses who succumbed to him like Brenda did, they raved about his prowess and had the best sex ever. I can believe it for he was quite the pussy hound before he met Tina and then Carol. This was a traumatic time for me, trying to find a solution in having Charlie cared for. I was his closest relative after the death of Carol and the kids.

“I was the one who sued the company who owned the truck company that caused the accident and ultimately the insurance company. I was trained as a forester, but had to give it up to care for Charlie when all other solutions failed.”

“When Charlie leaves here what will he do? What can he do? Will he still be under your care?”

“It will depend of course, on how well he is going to be. If he has all of his faculties, I imagine he will go back to his in-laws and rejoin their company. He owned forty-nine percent of it and was a major driving force in making it work. Just as soon as I find out this afternoon how he is, I am going to call Tina and then her folks and let them know.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if Charlie takes up with Tina again. I think the problem during the time he was out of it was because Charlie could not recognize that Carol had passed away and it was not okay for him and Tina to be intimate. I am talking fidelity issues, not the cheating he must have felt he was unknowingly doing. Anyway, if he is whole again, it isn’t my problem and I can look for a life of my own again.”

I almost made an immediate pitch for her myself, but remembered I was still married to Brenda. Also, did I totally believe Judy’s story about Charlie? I certainly was inclined to believe her. I had known Judy for six months. She was always the one to let people believe the worst of her and invariably it was not as bad as she painted it. Yes, I do think I believed her.

When we returned to his room, it was empty and he had not returned. We surmised he was still having tests performed. Three quarters of an hour later, we were called to an examining room. Charlie was half reclining on a bed. He smiled when he saw Judy.

“Hi Sis, where have you been? The doctors said you were at lunch, but they have been telling me about a lot of stuff I don’t know if I believe. Who’s the guy?”

“This is the owner of the lodge we have been staying at for the last six months. We’re friends and he has been really nice to me.”

“What happened to Brian? You should be married and have kids by now.”

“Brian dumped me.”

“Because of you having to care for me?”

“I guess you could say that, but I’m glad he did. It gave me a chance to find out what kind of person he was. Charlie what do the doctors say? Are you all over your injuries?”

“They will be here in a few minutes to explain. Sis, I don’t feel sick or injured at all. It is still hard to believe I do not remember anything. Was I in bed all of that time?”

“No, not at all. You would follow my orders if I told you to do something. You were able to dress yourself and you took care of your personal needs. But, I had to be there to tell you. I would place a plate of food in front of you and you would stare at it until I told you to start eating.”

Just then, three doctors entered. The local physician spoke to Charlie, “You can sit up all the way if you wish. I don’t think you will feel faint or nauseous, but if you do tell me. This is Ram Isho from the medical center. He will explain why you have been like you have for the last two years.”

The doctor was a small man with beetling eyebrows. He had an intense, intelligent look about him. He put some diagrams on the wall and shoved some negatives up into the slot that held them so they could be read before he spoke. “I first looked at the pictures of Charlie’s skull that were faxed here from the hospital where Charlie was when he first had his accident. I admit I could not see anything out of the ordinary. I would have made the same diagnosis as the neurologist that last had Charlie under his care.

“That would have been that something was damaged deep in his brain and as long as he was able to function to some degree it would be better to leave well enough alone. From the tests we have just looked at that were taken today, we could finally see the abnormality. It is very minute, just a fraction of a centimeter to be exact.”

He took his pointer and pointed it to a place on the diagram displayed on the wall. “That abnormality we could see now was close to the outer layer of the brain, but not in it. I will just use common names as you wouldn’t understand or remember the technical terms. Right here is the bone of the skull or cranium. Between that and the brain, there are three layers of soft but rugged tissue and some fluid. There are blood vessels traveling all over the surface of the brain. The brain itself is not attached anywhere except to the spinal column.

“As near as we can determine the brain shifted ever so slightly in the earlier accident and just didn’t return to its original position. It has to do with the auditory cortex and the temporal lobe. We think--I say that for it is only conjecture---that a blood vessel was pinched slightly so it starved the area that needed it. This would be a vein that connected to Charlie’s speech and cognitive centers. It stayed that way until the latest blow to his head re-positioned it. That is where he is at present.”

Judy asked, “So how is Charlie right now? What about the bleeding from his ears when it first happened?”

“Those were tiny veins that ruptured from the blow to his head and had nothing to do with this other problem. It is nothing to cause you to worry. Charlie, show your sister you can get up and walk as well as you did before the first trauma.”

Charlie hopped off the bed, walked to Judy, and gathered her into his arms. “Judy, I feel fine, really. I’m getting damned hungry though.” Judy laughed through her tears. She had her brother back.

“Doctor, when can Charlie go home?”

“I want him to stay at least the night. If he is as good in the morning as he is right now, I would say he can be discharged by eleven.”

We traveled back to Charlie’s room. Judy had her hand in mine and was almost skipping, she was so happy. The doctor had ordered some lunch for Charlie and Judy talked to me while he consumed it. He watched us. “I take it you two are a couple?”

“Maybe, but we haven’t declared it yet. You see, I’m still married, although I am getting a divorce.”

“Cheated on your wife, did you?”

“No, it was she who cheated. She is seeing someone else now. It looks serious, so I expect the divorce will go forward as planned.”

“Who was it, your best friend?” I was silent and Judy audibly sucked in her breath. I looked at her. No way was I going to answer his question.

Judy covered for me the best she could and was sharp. “Charlie, you are prying into something that is best not discussed. Just drop it.”

“Okay, sorry.”

It was getting late in the afternoon and I decided I had better head home. “Judy, I’ll pick you and Charlie up if he is released. That is if brush in the road is cleared by that time. I have some sorting out to do. Mom is getting married in three days. I also have to see my boss and see if it is okay to come back to work after Christmas. I have to see where everyone is sleeping. I don’t think you will have the same sleeping arrangements as you have had.

“I may have to cut the two couple’s reservations short, but I think they were leaving tomorrow anyway. I will make sure. You were going to make some phone calls. If it turns out as you think, Tina will have to stay in a motel. I did tell you Bob and Joni were here didn’t I, and that Rich and Sarah were coming for Mom’s wedding?”

“Yes. Don’t worry about where I am going to sleep. I will crawl into a bed somewhere. I bet I can find someone who won’t kick me out.”

“I’ll bet you won’t be kicked out either, but let’s make that the last resort for now.”

“Okay, but I like to look ahead.”

Charlie had been trying to follow the conversation, but had no idea about what we were saying. Judy came and kissed my cheek as I turned to the door. “Charlie, I’m so glad you are well. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I paused outside the door for a minute. Judy had started to tell her brother what had transpired since the truck had decimated his family. It would be a long night of listening to explanations for him.

I checked with my supervisor and I was on for the Monday after the first of the year. That was good. There were bills coming due from my attorney concerning my divorce. There was something else that I was working on in my mind. I had decided that I should incorporate the farm and lodge business.

Not the property itself, but the business. The real property had come down to me from my father. Even Mom had been cut out of the ownership of the property. She had not minded because she knew she would always be taken care of by me in the future.

Brenda had contributed to our home all of the time she was married to me. I had promised that if she found a new mate, I would help her in setting up a new household. By making the lodge business a separate entity, I would not have to risk the real estate in anyway.

I could assign some shares to her and she could use them as collateral. If she wanted to dispose of them, I, or Mom could buy them back. Deciding how much each share was worth would be the problem. With the help of an attorney, the division could be resolved.

The road was open, but the utility company hadn’t been able to restore the power yet. The phone lines were up though. I lugged Joni’s case in and Bob came out and got his when I pulled in. Mom was putting my supper on the table. Everyone else had eaten. As I was eating, everyone in residence came out and asked how Charlie was.

“I’m going to be picking him up just before noon. His fall was actually to his benefit. It jarred his brain, he has his speech back, and he is as aware just as if he was never injured. Judy is telling him what has happened to him in the last two years. You should see how happy she is. Charlie is sad and missing his wife and two children, but is handling it fairly well. Better than I would in the same situation.”

“You have to be kidding. It isn’t possible.”

“No I’m not kidding, Mom. Judy thinks it is a miracle and I guess it is.”

“Will Judy and Charlie be coming back here to stay?”

“I don’t know. Judy is calling Charlie’s wife’s family. He owns part of the business his father-in-law owns. There is also a past connection with his wife’s sister, Tina. Charlie dated her before he did Carol. I guess Tina tried to care for Charlie when he was first injured, but it upset him, so Judy took over. It was a good move although no one realized it at the time. Let’s forget the Comstocks. Mom, are you and Ho ready for your wedding ceremony?”

“We are. Ben called and he will be here tomorrow night. Jonathan, after supper, you and I need to talk about where we are going to put everyone.”

“Okay. I didn’t think there was a problem, but I’m sure we can figure it out.”

We finished the meal. The two couples that were supposed to leave were packed and ready to leave in the morning. I helped put food away. Joni was helping to clean the kitchen as she often did during the summer. Everyone except Ho and Mom went into the living room while we three had one more cup of coffee.

Mom started the conversation with, “Brenda called and she has a problem. She is not going on vacation next week as planned. It seems as though the woman who was married to Brenda’s man is dumping his two kids on him for the school vacation. They are a girl sixteen and a boy of fourteen. Pat’s apartment is so small she was hoping they could stay here.”

“Wow, with Rich and Sarah coming I don’t know. Judy and Charlie will be here too. They won’t be sleeping together so we will need one more bed there.”

“We have those electric blankets for the king-size bed up in the horse barn. You and Charlie or Ben could sleep there. We could bunk the young girl in with either Judy or Sandy. That would help. The boy could sleep on the blow-up air mattress in the living room. That should do it. Jonathan, this wedding is a bother isn’t it?”

“No Mom, not ever if it is what you want.”

“I do want a service. I feel as if I have been living in sin. Sure, I brought it on myself, but I will still feel better. I hate to inconvenience everyone though.”

“Mom, don’t think about it. This is going to be all for you. Do you want me to call Brenda about it?”

“Would you? She was worried about how you would take it.”

“Brenda, I understand you’re going to have some stepchildren and they need to stay here for a few days.”

“Yes.”

“They can, but it’s going to cost you.” There was silence.

“How much?”

Pat was not home and that made it easy for me to talk with my wife. “Brenda, Mom isn’t going anywhere for a honeymoon, but I’d like it so she wouldn’t have to do any cooking or bed making or cleaning for a few days. I wish you would be here and see to it all. I’m sure Sandy and Judy will help.”

“You won’t mind me being there with you?”

“Nope. It would not matter if I did. This is for Mom, not you or me.”

“I would like to see her married. I know she was hurt when I told her I wasn’t coming. Uh, are you going to be okay if Pat comes as well? I mean the kids are his and he doesn’t see them that often.”

“Bring him, I thought that was understood. There is some news about Judy and Charlie. Charlie has come out of his disability and is well again. He remembers everything that happened before he lost his family. He talks and is aware as you and me.”

“Oh my God, does he remember me climbing into his bed with him? I really am ashamed about doing that.”

“No, he won’t remember you at all. The last two years are a complete blank. Judy is filling him in on all of the pertinent facts tonight.” I chuckled. “I doubt your name will come up in that context. She has already sidestepped why I’m waiting for a divorce.”

“Thank God. Jonathan, you don’t act as though you and I are divorcing. Then again, you haven’t indicated you miss me or want me back.”

“What do you want me to say Brenda? When last summer first began, I watched you. I knew you were unhappy. I thought it was because of the extra work with the lodgers we had. When I left for the west, I had a lot of time to think about you and our relationship. I saw you listening to Sarah, Joni, and their men during the summer. I smiled to myself, never thinking you would consider stepping outside our marriage.

“I realized during these last three months as I lay in my lonely room all by myself, that I was wrong about you. You were wanting more than I was giving you. Then I realized you were not giving me what I needed anymore either. Changing the place over to a lodge was just an excuse, only we did not know it at the time. It could have been something different that triggered our separation. I was hurt when you went to Charlie that night, but more for him than what you did to me. It took awhile for me to come to that conclusion.”

“So where are we now?”

“Brenda, you are still a person I’m very fond of and I’m pleased you called about Pat’s two children. And, I have not felt constrained about asking you to do for Mom. I hope we continue to be as comfortable with each other as we seem to be at the moment.”

“I can see you have put as much thought into this as you say you have. You certainly put it into words better than I ever could have. I agree with your assessment of our relationship. I wish the divorce was sooner, though.”

“Don’t wish that. A six month waiting period was put in place so a divorcing couple wouldn’t jump straight into another marriage too quick.”

“But I have just done that with Pat.”

“A relationship, yes, but you can’t get married. By April you will be more certain if what you have with him is solid enough to warrant making it permanent. Do you see my point?”

“I do now. I didn’t before. What time should I come up tomorrow?”

“Anytime in the morning. I’m picking Judy and Charlie up at the hospital sometime after eleven if he is as good tomorrow as he was this afternoon.”

“I’ll pray that he is. This will let Judy be able to move on and have a life of her own. I thought it was bad for me to be tied to the farm as tight as I was for so long, but nothing like Judy was tied to Charlie constantly night and day.”

“I didn’t know you felt like that while you were living here.”

“I didn’t realize it so much at the time, but I did a lot of thinking as well as you after you left. Jonathan, tell me if I have messed up your life too much? I have a reason for asking.”

“I would say not. I do not wish you were back here living with me, even though I haven’t found anyone to replace you. Judy may be the one and I think about her a lot, but that gets back to the waiting period and why it is important. If she continues to stay here, I will know by the time our divorce is final. So why were you asking?”

“It was to get rid of some of my guilt. You really are a good man. I think better than I knew as the time runs out on our marriage. I’m glad you called.” I thought she was going to say more. “Hey, Pat has just come in. I’ll see you tomorrow. Good night Jonathan.”

---

Again, I slept the night in Judy’s bed. The bedding would be changed in the morning. It had been months since I had slept with a woman and it might be a few more before I had sex. Then I thought of Judy. According to her, she had not had any sex since she was dumped by her fiancé. Somehow, I had the feeling this sexual hiatus would be soon ending for both of us. I would be terribly disappointed if it wasn’t.

Mom had coffee ready when I had finished my shower. “Brenda will be up sometime this morning. When she gets here, I want you to concentrate on your upcoming marriage. You also get some free days after the ceremony. Ho has the same. This is the best I can do for you.”

“That is more than enough.” Just then, Ho came out of their room and I repeated what I had just told Mom. I received that little bow from him that he gave out when he was pleased. The two couples who were leaving this morning came in for breakfast and didn’t linger. They were gone by eight-thirty, saying they enjoyed their stay with us and would make reservations to stay again sometime.

Joni and Bob came in. They must have had a disagreement for they sat on separate sides of the table and glared across at each other. Joni said, “Sarah, the bitch, will be calling you shortly and will not be here for your wedding. Sarah called me last night. She wants Rich for her husband. She asked me to divorce him. Bob thinks it is a great idea and then he can marry me. Why would I want Bob when I have Rich?”

She burst into tears and fled back to the room where she and Bob had been staying. Bob sat there shaking his head as if he had no idea what caused this. “Women!”

I questioned, “Are you and Joni staying for Mom’s wedding?”

“I don’t know. Will I have to pay for the room anyway if I leave today?”

“No, I have family coming that can use your reservation. Actually this helps me if you do leave.”

“Well, I better go find out what Joni wants to do. Joni called my wife a bitch, but she is almost as bad. Jonathan, you never said much about what we two couples did. Did you have any idea it would turn out like it has?”

“Something like this very rarely works. It sounds like fun and I guess it is to start with, but invariably some in the group starts to distrust the other of the same gender and then it all goes to hell. You are blaming the women, but how much do you trust Rich?”

“I see what you mean. He might have convinced Sarah to want him permanently. I’ll bet it was his idea.”

“Calm down. From my perspective, you are equally culpable. Think back to the great times you have all had together and move on. Use it as a learning lesson.”

“How in hell did you get so damned smart?”

“I guess it comes from observing the people I work with. I have twenty-two women working for me. Throw into the mix, kids, divorces, cheating, money problems, and relatives interfering. I listen to them all. It has even helped me some when Brenda and I had our problems. We are at the point now where we can speak to each other. Think it through before you decide. You might salvage something yet.”

Bob got up and went upstairs where I suspected Joni was packing. Mom had been listening to me. “Jonathan, I thought you were weak dealing with Brenda. I can see where you are not and I can see why you two may remain friends. That is almost good enough for a wedding present in itself. She has been my daughter-in-law and almost a daughter for so many years, it crushed me when you left earlier, but I don’t feel so bad now.”

“Thanks Mom, for that. I am heading for town. I want to see my attorney. He is in his office until noon. I’m seeing Judy at eleven. I will call and talk to Brenda before I come back to see if she needs anything. Remember now, when Brenda comes through the door, you’re on vacation.” Mom gave me a grin. Would she obey my wishes? I doubted it.

My lawyer did not want to talk to me, but I persuaded him to give me fifteen minutes. I came away with the promise that what I had in mind would work, but nothing could be done until after the first of the year. That was good enough for me.

Judy and Charlie were waiting for me and already discharged. All there was left to do was some final paperwork and a paper of cautions to be typed up for the doctor to give to Charlie. Judy was all smiles and I received a warm kiss. I filled her in on what was happening at home. The power was fully restored. Judy was interested in hearing about Pat’s two children, but I did not have any information except they would be staying the night. I went into detail about Bob and Joni and the other two, Rich and Sarah.

Charlie was taking all of this in and queried me about it. I didn’t say too much and let him think my wife had been slightly involved peripherally.

Charlie walked to the restroom down the hall instead of using the one in his room. Judy immediately said, “You found out then that Brenda was involved with the two couples?”

“You tell me.”

“Brenda did play with them more than you realized, I believe. I do not think there was any penetration, but what she was doing would not pass the husband-wife test. You did know that didn’t you. That is because you left isn’t it. It wasn’t all of her involvement with Charlie was it?”

This was a revelation because I did not know before this. “I know it now, although I didn’t get onto it for sometime. Judy, it is behind Brenda and me now. I want to lay it all to rest. We are getting along and she is helping with the wedding. I don’t want to rub old sores raw.”

“Okay, I’ll forget about it.” Just then, the doctor came in with Charlie behind him.

“Miss Comstock, I was directed to ask you to stop in the office and lay out a payment plan. Not all of the charges have been posted yet, but there is an estimate.”

“Okay, no problem. Charlie is still in my care and there are funds to cover something like this.”

“Good. Charlie, I would like to examine you in my office next week, and if you have any problems before them, you can call. Now get out of here. You are one lucky man to come out of this as you have.”

“Thanks Doc. Judy, take me home. I want to see this wonderful place where you have had me living.”

Charlie sat in front with me and Judy sat where I saw her every time I looked in the rear view mirror. She acted more like a teenager than a woman of twenty-eight would. She would brush her hair back and wink. The next time she would shake it out and send me a blinding smile. Just before we reached the farm, she blew me a kiss. It did make me laugh. Did I act like that when I was thirteen years younger than I am now? I couldn’t remember.

Brenda’s car was in the yard. Ben’s vehicle was parked off to one side. Bob’s vehicle was missing. Judy bounced out of the car and tried to lead Charlie into the house, but he held back to look at the view. At one time, it was said you could see Boston Harbor from here on a clear day. Not in my time, though, but you can see MA, NH, and of course the state we were in. Then he looked at the buildings.

“That part of the barn was built in the 1700s. The round window on the end tells me that. Also the six-pane window over the big barn door identifies it as well.”

Judy was tugging at his arm. She opened the door to a blast of warm air. Brenda was by the range and did not look up at first. She looked embarrassed. I mean she had almost all night sex with this man. Judy introduced him. “Brenda, this is Charlie. A whole, living, breathing, bright and aware Charlie. Charlie, this is Brenda Rivers, Jonathan’s wife. They will be divorced soon, but they are still friendly.”

“You say I am aware, but there are two years missing out of my life. The doctor tells me I probably won’t remember anything that happened during that time.”

“I’m sure Judy will fill you in on most of it.”

“Most of it, but not all.”

I heard Brenda whisper to Judy, “Thank you.”

Charlie advanced on Mom sitting at the table. “I need no introduction. My sister described Selma Rivers and you have to be her.”

“I am, and it’s a joy to see you whole. It is late to invite you into our home seeing as you have been living here for six months, but I do welcome you now that you know.”

“This is so thoughtful of you. Judy tells me she was just about at the end of her rope caring for me before arriving here. It has been good for her and I do believe she intends to stay on when I return to my former life and business. Jonathan also tells me you are being married the day after tomorrow. I wish you much happiness.”

“Thank you. It is strange for a woman of my age to start a relationship, but I did and now it has deepened into love. The marriage will be the symbol of the love I feel for the man who will be my husband. You will meet him at supper tonight. At present he is busy in one of the outbuildings.”

I asked Brenda, “Where are Pat and his children?”

“They will be here as soon as his ex-wife delivers them. Are you sure you are okay with them staying here?”

“Sure, why not. With Bob and Joni gone there will be plenty of room for a day or so anyway.”

“Sarah and Rich canceled just like Bob thought they would. I am a little surprised at them breaking up. They had it all figured out last summer, but they are four very unhappy people right now.”

“It rarely works and I suspected this would be how it would end. I’m glad we didn’t get involved.”

“Jonathan, I hate to tell you this and I don’t suppose it matters at this late date, but I was involved to some extent.”

“I don’t want to know about it, so keep it to yourself. Water under the bridge and all that stuff. A confession can hurt as much after the fact as well as before.”

“Okay, that is one more thing I can put behind me. How are you going to be when I introduce you to Pat?”

“Brenda, don’t worry about me and how I will act. I started the divorce before you two were interested in each other didn’t I?”

“Yes, it was a month after you went west.”

“I doubt we will ever be friends, but I don’t hold any great animosity toward him. Not unless he doesn’t treat you right. Then I might have a problem.” Brenda stared at me a few seconds, smiled and turned away.

I had not had a chance to talk to Ben and we finally managed to get a few minutes alone. That is alone with two squirming little granddaughters. “Are you and Mom getting along okay?”

“We are. I will be meeting my competition later, but I do not harbor much ill will. Your mother was a little concerned I would be rude and act like a pissed off husband, but I allayed her fears. I have that right, but I can’t see where it would get me anywhere.

“Ben, you know someday the farm is going to come to you. I doubt I will be having more kids, but you never know. No need to think that far ahead, but that is the way things stand now. I saw an attorney today and he is getting papers ready to incorporate this new business with lodgers etc. Ho and his gardening are included in this. We will eventually find other things that will make us a few pennies. Someday I hope to quit my job and be on the place all the time.”

“So, Mom is out then?”

“Not out of the business. She will be getting 20% of the shares. She earned that much and I am hoping she will help sometimes the same as she is with your grandmother’s wedding. We do work well together and I think we can get along okay. We never did agree on a divorce settlement. Mostly it is because she never asked for anything. That was guilt, I think. My guilt is because up until last summer she was there for me all the time and deserves to benefit.”

“Who gets the rest of the shares?”

“I’m taking 25% as my share. I am giving Mother 20%. The attorney and the accountant split 5%. That leaves 30% for all of us to own jointly and share that portion of the profits. I imagine eventually we will enlarge the lodge and we will need an investor who will buy in and receive shares.”

“It sounds like a sound plan. I am glad you are taking care of Mom. But then I knew you would be fair. Pretty neat that Judy’s brother got his head back together, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it frees her up to get on with her life.”

“Are you in there somewhere, Dad?”

“To be honest, I have thought about her a lot. When I am around her, I feel like I did toward your mother when I was twenty. I am thirteen years older than Judy is. What am I thinking? Too, what is she thinking looking at a man that much older than she is?”

“Maybe it is love, Dad. Look at Gram, she picked a man twenty years her junior. She and Ho could not be happier. Happy enough so they are tying the knot.”

“We’ll see how it plays out, I guess. I still have three months to decide.”

Chapter Five

It was getting time for Patterson Brooks to arrive with his two children. Brenda removed her apron and combed her hair. Pat drove up in a three-year-old Chevy sedan. It was seriously cooling off outside and was down to twenty degrees. It had been in the middle thirties earlier in the day. All had worn parkas, but still ran for the house to get out of the cold. Brenda let them into the entryway and helped them off with their coats.

I stood waiting as they came into the kitchen. “Patterson, this is Jonathan Rivers. This has been his ancestor’s farm since the revolutionary war.” I noticed Brenda did not introduce me as her husband.

Pat held out his hand. I took it, uttering, “Patterson.”

“Call me Pat.”

I smiled. “I never had a nickname, so I guess you will have to call me Jonathan. Introduce me to your children. I understand they will be staying here tonight.”

“Yes, I hope it is all right. Actually, I need to speak about maybe making arrangements to stay longer. Anyway, we could go into that later. This is my daughter Margaret, nicknamed Peggy. This is Peter and he of course, we call Pete.

“Pete and Peggy, this is Brenda who is my friend. She stays with me in the apartment, but is helping out here.”

Peggy managed a “Hi,” and withdrew into her self. Maybe she had an attitude? I could tell she did not want to be here. She was almost as tall as her father and gawky looking with dark horned-rimmed glasses. She rather slouched. I didn’t at first think there was much attractive about her. Her clothes were terrible for her. Must be her mother was not paying attention.

The boy Pete, looked a lot like his father. He was looking around, interested in his surroundings. The girl looked sad and bored. “Peggy, do you have a special boy friend?” She nodded, wondering why I asked such a question when we had just met. “I’ll bet you would like to E-Mail him and tell him everything about getting here and where you are.”

Her face brightened. I revised my estimate of her not being attractive when she gave me a smile. “Could I? I miss him and I don’t know how long it is going to be before I see him again.”

I walked her into the office where the computer was located and booted it up for her. “I’ll come get you in fifteen minutes so you can meet my Mom. She is the woman who is getting married. I want you to meet everyone, but for now talk to your boyfriend.”

“Thank you so much Mr.?”

“It’s Rivers, but call me Jonathan.”

“Is Brenda your sister?”

“No, Brenda is my wife and still will be for awhile. You must think this is odd don’t you? I will explain it when we get a chance to talk again. See you.” I went out. Pete had wandered into the living room and was looking at one of the sets of deer horns I had mounted. “I shot that 12 pointer when I was eleven years old. Do you hunt?”

“No, but I wish I could go sometime.”

“Do you have a gun?”

“God no. I live with my mother and step-dad. They are not into guns. I have never ever fired one.”

“Get your father’s permission and we’ll dig out a rifle and do some shooting. Tomorrow it is supposed to be a good day. Hey, help me bring in some wood for the fireplace. It’s going to be cold tonight. Have you ever sat in front of a fire and watched the flames dance?”

“No.”

Peggy came out of the office when Pete and I came in with an armload of wood. “Do you feel better now?”

“Yes, thank you. He was so happy to hear from me. What should I do now?”

“Why don’t you go into the kitchen and ask Brenda what you can do to help. That is called sucking up, but it works. Look what I did to you two. I wanted to make friends of you, so I talked to you and gave you my interest. We all got something from it.”

“Sis, Jonathan is going to let me shoot a gun tomorrow, that is if Dad says it is okay. Tell Dad what Jonathan did for you so I can shoot, would you?”

Judy came in to see what I was doing. “Were you in here turning your charm onto that young girl?”

“I’m guilty. To both kids in fact. I think both have been shuffled around and not much attention paid to them. Judy, could you do something with Peggy’s hair? If you have a dress for her to wear for the wedding, it might help too. You are both about the same size.”

“Why me?”

“Because she is going to be sleeping in your room tonight and it would be a perfect chance to make her feel wanted.”

“Where is the boy sleeping?”

I don’t know. Maybe in Charlie’s room. It will depend on whether Brenda and Pat sleep here or go home.”

“You’d let Pat sleep with your wife when you are in the same house with her?”

“I have to get beyond her sometime. I’m not going to propose that she does, but it could happen.”

“Okay, but soon I will want the same consideration.”

“I was kind of looking for a Christmas present from you. Maybe after Christmas dinner when everyone else is napping.” I was quickly smothered with kisses.

Ben interrupted us. “Pete was talking to me after I heard him asking his father if it was okay to shoot a gun. I don't think his father thought it a good idea, but I helped convince him that it was safe enough. I haven’t fired off any rounds in a couple of years, so I’m in this too.”

“Good.”

Judy spoke up. I wish I had brought a couple of my guns. You guys are not the only ones who have bagged deer in this lifetime. I have a sweet .222 Savage that I use. What do you use, Jonathan?”

“My favorite is a .223, but if I’m after bear, I use a .270.”

“You shot a bear? You’ll have to take me out next year. I’d love to get one.”

Charlie came in as Judy was saying this. “Judy will get a bear if any of you do. She loves being out in the woods. She tells me she hasn’t had a chance lately because of me. Maybe now she will be able to.”

Brenda came to the doorway. “Supper is being put on the table. Come eat.” We went in. Mom and Ho were sitting on the far end and I sat on the near end. Usually Brenda sat next to me, but tonight she indicated she was sitting farther down on the side with Ben and Sandy next to Mom. One grandchild was sitting in a youth chair and the other in a high chair. Pat sat across from Brenda with Judy next to him.

Pete sat next to Judy with me sitting next to her on the end. Charlie sat across from Pete. Peggy, who had agreed to serve, sat closest to the sideboard, which held the food. This left only one place on the end next to me for her. Peggy was running back and forth, placing the food on the table. The roast loin of pork was directly in front of me with the stack of dinner plates to my left. The meat had been carved into portions by Brenda.

“Mom?”

“Give me a good-sized hunk as I’m hungry tonight, although I haven’t done a thing all day.” I knew just how much Mom would want on her plate. Peggy held the plate and I put it on. Peggy carried the plate to her. The potatoes, vegetables and rolls could be reached from where the person was sitting, as there were multiple dishes of each nearby. I went around the table asking each person how big an amount he or she desired.

Peggy sat and I served her the meat and then myself. Ho as usual said a grace and we started to eat. I was amazed how well Peggy had done. Halfway through the meal when she sat down after replenishing the vegetable dishes, I leaned over, “You have done everything very well. Especially in not being familiar how everything is done here.”

She flushed at the compliment. I took a sip of coffee and just as I did, she leaned close and whispered, “Now who is sucking up?” Pete was close enough to hear his sister and he burst out laughing. I sucked coffee down my windpipe and started coughing. Peggy was shaking with laughter and her face was now bright crimson.

The meal halted with everyone looking at us. I finally caught my breath. Brenda asked, “What was that all about?”

“Nothing really. It just goes to show a person shouldn’t talk with their mouth full. I said something to Peggy and I choked.”

Pat put in his two cents, “You kids should know by now it isn’t polite to laugh at people who are having difficulties.”

“It’s okay Pat, when I started to choke I accidentally kicked Pete. It was just a comedy of errors and I caused it all.” He stared at me as if he didn’t believe me.

I went back to my meal, but every once in awhile I could feel Peggy shake as she was trying to hold in a giggle. I felt Pete nudge my foot with his and he mouthed, “Thank you” when I looked at him.

While having my last coffee over dessert, I turned to Charlie. He was still sitting with me and everyone else was busy. “What are your plans now?”

“My wife’s sister is coming to get me as soon as she can get here. I want to be home before New Years Eve.”

I had to know. “Will Judy be going with you?”

Charlie didn’t answer me immediately. He seemed to be looking for the right words. Then he asked a question of his own. “Would you be disappointed if she did? I mean, I have been out of the loop, and relationships have changed so much in the last two years. I have been a terrible burden to my sister and now I want to give her what she wants. If she left and I knew you didn’t want her to go, I would urge her to stay.”

“That’s easy. Please urge her to continue living here. You have seen how I feel about her. I have not been very aggressive because I am still married to Brenda. I don't feel married because I have not been intimate with Brenda for several months. Is that enough of an excuse to jump into bed with your sister? However, my being halfway divorced does not seem to bother Judy, and she looks on me as being single. I am still amazed she is attracted to me as she is young, smart, and beautiful. Why is she looking at me when I’m much older than her?”

“Judy and I talked last night. We didn't talk about me and what I have missed by being an amnesiac, if that is the right term. We did talk about her and eventually you. Before we came here, she was engaged and I thought he was an all right person, but I didn't know him well. Apparently, he didn't love her enough to stick with her when family problems surfaced.

“I’ve only known you for a couple days and have only listened to one woman for a few hours who thinks you are something. I have observed things around me though. I saw two teenagers come into the house to meet a bunch of strangers. One of the women was introduced as a person who was going to replace their mother. Both looked uncertain, for one thing. Another thing, I could see the kids were unhappy with their father about the whole situation.

“Then they disappeared with you into the other room. Twenty minutes later, this girl came back and walked up to what was possibly going to be her new stepmother. She was smiling, although she appeared somewhat uncertain and asked if she could help. The tension eased immediately for they were working together at a single chore and leaving their personalities out. Then the boy came out and asked his father if he can go shooting with you.

“Patterson was in a very uncomfortable situation as well. He was here with a woman he was sleeping with and here was her husband in his own home taking an interest in his son. If my sister can hook up with a man who displays that much concern for other people and their feelings, I’d kind of like that man for my brother-in-law.”

“Thank you. A person always wonders how a brother or a father feels about a person who is taking an interest in a sister or daughter.”

Just then, Brenda and Pat approached me. “Charlie, would you excuse us. I need to talk with Jonathan.”

“Sure. Nice talking to you, Jonathan.”

“Jonathan, Pat and I have a housing problem with the unexpected arrival of Pete and Peggy. It is not just a short-term one either. His wife left papers with Pat giving him full custody. The apartment has only one bedroom. We are trying to figure out how to resolve our problem”

“This means you want to move back in here with me?”

Brenda’s head went down and she would not look at me. Pat answered for her. It was his problem. “Mr. Rivers, Brenda doesn’t want to move back to the farm. It does not seem right and I do not want her to either. However, I have these two kids. I love them, but I have only seen them a few times in the last five years. Don’t get me wrong, I want them with me, but I need to find a place for them to stay for a little while until I can make better arrangements.

“Their mother has dumped them on me, and if I don’t have them living with me, they are going to feel unwanted by both their mother and me. If you could take them temporarily, it would help. I don’t want them to feel I was pushing them away.” He paused and then continued, “Maybe you could help me explain to them why I have to do this. You seem to have made friends with them.

“I think I can afford to rent room here for them temporarily if you give me a couple’s room rate for one room even though they need two rooms. I’ll get out Monday and find a bigger apartment, but it is going to take some time.”

I was instantly angry. “Let me get this straight, and I’m speaking more to you, Brenda. Not only do I have to condone you being unfaithful, but now you have found someone new, I also have to take care of his children as well. Is that it?”

“Damn it Jonathan, yes I was unfaithful, but you never gave me the courtesy of letting me explain. You just walked away and started the divorce. You left me here to manage a business we started together. Was that fair? Maybe you do not need a life, but I do. I am just asking you to help until we are divorced and we both can find some happiness. Remember too, I didn’t ask for anything from you when I moved out.”

I sat thinking and the silence lengthened. Some of what Brenda said was correct, but didn’t I have the right to be bitter over the breakup of our marriage? For years, I had been the only wage earner. I still was. My thoughts swung to Pete and Peggy. Their father was concerned about their feelings, and I suppose it was in me to feel sorry for him and the kids both. I wouldn’t have wanted to feel abandoned by my folks at their age.

“Brenda, I wasn’t going to say anything about this until Christmas day. That is the day after tomorrow. You do have more say in this than you know. I have been to an attorney and have decided to incorporate the business. I am keeping 25% of the shares for myself. You and Mom will each have 20%. The 30% unassigned will be nonvoting and the profit, if any, will be divided amongst us three.

“So this becomes a business decision between us all. Go talk to Mom and explain what I have just told you.” Brenda stared at me and then glanced at Pat before going over to Mom’s door and knocking.

After she had entered, I said, “Pat, sorry you got into the middle of this. I just get pissed at Brenda sometimes. It all happened before you came on the scene. She will come back with Mom’s okay and I will see what we can do to make Pete and Peggy comfortable here. It will not cost you much either, because Brenda owns a part of the business.

“What about getting them into school? The high school bus does come by here so that won’t be a problem. What about their clothes and stuff like that?”

“It is all on the living room floor of my apartment. I don’t have room for any of their things. Jonathan, at least you and Brenda are able to talk to each other. My wife was a total bitch. The kids were left to their own devices most of the time. Peggy and I have been on the Internet almost constantly and I have had to guide them from afar for the last two years. I really am glad they are close by where I can do what needs doing for them.”

“I think you are being a good father. I applaud that. Now I have asked Judy Comstock to let Peggy sleep with her tonight. We had better get twin beds for Judy’s room if she agrees. There is still room in the attic next to mine where we can make a room for Pete or maybe two small rooms. It needs doing anyway and it will be warm enough as it right above us here in the kitchen. I will talk to Ho. He is good at this. In the meantime until we have paying guests he can sleep on an air mattress in the living room.”

“This is great. You will help me explain the situation to them won’t you?”

“Yes, just as soon as Brenda returns. Setting aside the issues between Brenda and me, she will make the kids a good stepmother if it leads to that. She was a wonderful mother while raising Ben.”

“I haven’t proposed to Brenda yet, but to let you know, I intend to. I haven’t felt as if I could until the divorce is final.”

“That would be your business and Brenda and I will be divorced someday.”

Brenda returned and we went in to talk to Pete and Peggy. Pat laid it all out. “So until I find larger quarters for us all, Jonathan has agreed to let you live here. Brenda owns a part of the lodge so the expense will be minimal. Miss Comstock has agreed to share her room and twin beds will be installed sometime next week.

“Pete will have his own room that will soon be constructed in the attic. All of this is because the lodge needs at least two rooms rented out to pay the bills. You will be going to school from here until I can get us moved so we can all live together. I wish you could be with me now, but it is impossible for the time being.”

“I guess Pete and I can handle it Dad. We feel we are among friends and we know you are trying your best.”

“Thanks for being so understanding. If you are all set here for tonight, I guess Brenda and I will be leaving. We will see you all in the morning. I want to be here when you start shooting a gun.”

Brenda was looking at me when Pat said this. I tried, but could not entirely keep the hurt from showing. I saw tears appear in her eyes. Well what did she expect? I saw Brenda and Judy talking a minute before she left. She didn’t say goodnight to me and I was thankful for that. It kept me from saying something I might have regretted.

Pete and Peggy seemed happy to be able to stay and I did just as I said. We lay in front of the fireplace until after ten. Pete was staying right in the room and soon Peggy and Judy went to the front part of the house where Judy’s room was. I heard them giggling as I left.

I went up to my room, but did not go to sleep. Was it true that nice guys always finish last? It sure seemed it. I heard the grandfather clock in the front room strike twelve. It was some time later when I heard the stairs creek and my door ease open. Some clothes rustled and I felt someone getting into bed beside me.

“Jonathan one time I said I wished I could be your Brenda. Tonight that is what I am.”

“Is this pity?”

“No I’m here because I want to be with you.”

“Then you can’t be my Brenda. I don’t have one of them any longer. The person I want is Judy.”

“Great, this is even better.”

“I’ll hope you think so. I have to tell you that you will be only the second woman I have known. Brenda was the only one I have ever had sex with.”

“That’s good. I have had much more experience than we need to have a great sex life. You get to pick and choose what you would like.”

“Enough even to make me forget Brenda? Sorry, that is the last time I will mention her name in this context.”

“Boy are we going to be good together with you having an attitude like that.” Before I was too tired, I determined that Judy could make me forget a half-dozen Brenda’s and I said so.

“Good, because I thought if I couldn’t I would have to bring in some more troops.”

“What do you mean?”

“Before Peggy went to sleep, she told me she is sexually active and has been on the pill for two years. Her mother did this for her, just so she could say she was protecting her daughter. She probably knows more about sex than I do.”

“That’s sad.”

“Somehow I knew you would feel that way. That is just the way you are. Hey, I had better get back to my own bed. Thank you for a wonderful night. It has been a long dry spell for me. I’m sure it was longer for me than it has been for you and it was as good as I imagined it would be.” I turned the light on to watch Judy slip into her pajamas. She certainly could be as seductive putting clothes on as taking them off.

When she leaned down to kiss me, I almost grabbed her to pull her back into bed. She backed off and with a little wave disappeared out the door. I lay back with a smile on my face. Brenda and I had slept in this room for several months and I thought of it as being hers. It wasn’t any longer!

Brenda and Pat showed up just as we were finishing breakfast. Tomorrow was Mom’s wedding and Christmas Eve. “Ben, here are the keys to the gun safe. We had better stick with .22’s. Get one with open sights and the newest one that has a telescope. We will not be going out for another hour. Would you go over gun safety with Pete and anyone else who is shooting. There is a cube in the ammo drawer.”

“What is a cube?”

“It is a big box of 500 shells. A regular box is 50. It is just the way they are packaged.”

“Oh.”

Pat, Pete, Judy and Ben went into the other room. Brenda sat down beside me. “Jonathan, I don’t care what I do, it seems as if I’m always hurting you. I saw how you felt when I left last night. I do not want to do things to make you feel bad. Tell me how I can help? I guess this is an apology.”

“Thank you for saying that. Maybe I am too sensitive, but I can’t help the way I feel sometimes. I am better this morning than I was last night after lying awake and thinking it through some more. You were the first to make the change in our relationship. You have left me behind. It could have been me. I am going to catch up and when I do, the pain will lessen. Divorce is painful and Brenda, I would still do it again. If it would help, I’ll just stop wearing my feeling on my sleeve.”

“I wish you would or could. It still hurts me to see you hurting when I know I am the cause of it. I can’t say more.”

“I know you aren’t trying to hurt me on purpose. It is just the situation. Think what this divorce would be like if I hated you or you hated me. I predict we’ll end up good friends and all of this will be behind us.”

“I hope so.”

I rose and when I passed by her, I put my hand on her shoulder and gave it a couple of pats. She reached up and grasped my hand for just a few seconds. Neither gesture had much meaning in itself, but it made the future look brighter for both of us.

We went outside about ten to shoot. The sun was out, but there were a few high thin clouds to the west. A heavy snow was promised for tonight. I thought I was a good marksman, but it was Judy first, then Ben, Pete, and then me in that order hitting the target. Well maybe I fudged a little. I didn’t want the kid to be disappointed in his first time out.

Peggy was helping Brenda and Sandy in the kitchen. When I came in, she went by me declaring, “I’m still sucking up” and giggled. She looked happy. I remembered Judy’s comment about her being sexually active. I could see why boys would think she was hot. I also remembered when I first saw her I thought she was homely, but now that she was happy and confident her whole persona had changed. Good.

Lunch was at noon and we were well into it when Pete got up for something. “It’s snowing hard out.”

“Oh dear, I hope the minister can get here tomorrow. He is supposed to marry us at two. He can’t be later because he has a Christmas Eve service.”

I went in and looked on the computer. I came back with, “It is a heavy, fast moving storm. It is supposed to stop by seven tomorrow morning. The roads will be open by noon.”

No one paid much attention as to how deep the snow was getting. Brenda said she and Pat were leaving right after supper and would return in the morning as soon as the road was cleared. We were surprised when they got ready to leave, as there was a foot of snow on the ground. Mom looked at me. I had said the night before I would not invite them to stay here with me in the house, but the situation was changed.

I went to Judy. “Can you and Peggy sleep in my bed tonight? I don’t feel right in offering my bed to Pat. I’ll sleep on the floor next to Pete on the blowup mattress.”

“No we can’t. We are not driving you from your bed. We will sleep on the floor. I insist.”

“Okay, you invite them, then.”

“Already have. They are staying.”

“Okay, tell them I’m fine with it. It is too near Christmas to be upset about anything.”

“You’re going to make some poor lonely woman a wonderful husband with an attitude like that.”

“Keep that thought, will you.”

We had the fireplace roaring, we had blankets, and pillows scattered in front of it. Mom and Ho came in and sat for a while. Mom sat between Ben and me and every once in awhile she would squeeze my shoulder. This was a happy time for her and she wanted me to know it.

Pat and Brenda came in. They sat next to Pete and Peggy. They had enough respect for me so they did not cuddle up or display any affection. There were carols playing in the background. Charlie came in, sat next to Judy, even playing a little grab ass as any sister, and brother would. This brought out the same in Peggy and Pete. I was comfortable with it all. Sandy sat with us, but my youngest grandchild was teething and she soon left to stop her from fussing.

About ten o’clock I got up and looked out. It was still snowing, but the flakes were finer and it was not adding up so fast. I figured the storm would be over soon after midnight. I decided to go to bed. I asked if everyone was comfortable with the sleeping arrangements. They were so I went upstairs. It wasn’t a half hour later, when I felt the bed sink.

“Everyone is asleep, except you and me. Do you have any ideas?” I did.

Judy was much younger, smaller in stature than Brenda was, and was all over me. Maybe I should say she was aggressive. She was demanding that was for sure. This was new to me, having a partner this active. I was even coaxed into doing some things that I had heard and read about, but never had attempted.

Judy paused long enough to say, “I hope you like doing that. It really gets me going.”

“Plan on it then. Strange for me, but it makes me feel in control.” We went on from there until both of us were satisfied.

“I hate having to be so quiet. I’m not a screamer, but I like to let my partner know that he is reaching me in ways that make me happy.”

“We’ll have a chance sometime. How did you dare slip away?”

“I rolled my blankets up on the couch. The one that is over on the far side of the room. I remembered to bring out one of my wigs. No one will know if he or she happens to look over there.

“I was going to come to you tonight somehow. Brenda being here in the house just makes it that more satisfying. I mean she threw you away. I’m glad I am here where I can catch you.”

“Brenda? Who is Brenda?” The next time I looked at my watch, it was four-thirty. I swung out of bed and poked my sleeping bed partner. “Judy I think you had better go back to your couch. I’ll go down with you and make coffee. I want to see how much snow there is.”

“Kiss me, first.” I leaned down as if to kiss her and just pulled all of the blankets off her. My eyes traveled over her, “God, you are a beautiful vision.” She stretched with her hands over her head and then got up on her hands and knees and backed off the bed. I watched as again she shimmied into her pajamas as she did last night. I got my kiss then and we quietly went down stairs.

I put the coffee on and had to go through the living room to the bathroom. I tiptoed as quietly as I could. Suddenly Peggy sat upright, made an okay sign with her fingers, flashed me a smile and lay back down. She must have seen Judy come down a few minutes before and figured we had been together. Oh well!

Before I had half my first coffee down, all of the men except Ho were in the kitchen. “Snow has stopped. With all this help, we can get the cars brushed off and the yard cleaned up before breakfast. Charlie, don’t you dare fall down if you come out.”

“I’ll be careful.”

When we came back in, breakfast was on the table. The drive and yard were cleaned off. We could hear the town grader going by plowing the main road. Peggy was not there, but everyone else was. I asked where she was. “She is on the computer saying good morning to her boyfriend.”

Ten minutes later Peggy came in and she was crying. “The bastard cheated on me last night. It was with my best friend too. I hate him.” Life is especially cruel when you are a teenager.

Brenda came forward to console Peggy. “No, I don’t want to talk to you. Jonathan is divorcing you, so you can’t be any better than my boyfriend.” Brenda didn’t know what to say.

Pat shouted at his daughter. “You apologize right now. That was uncalled for and none of your business.” Peggy looked at me for me to take her part. Everyone in the room was looking at me as well.

“Peggy, the remark really was uncalled for. When a person is hurt or angry they lash out at the nearest target. An apology is in order, because it is just as your father said, it is not any of your business. That said, we all know how much you must be hurting. You are miles away from your boyfriend and you can’t get even. If the boy cheated on you, the wisest thing to do is to move on.”

“But it isn’t fair. I am here and I don't have a home. My mother dumped me and my father is doing the same thing. Everyone is against me.”

“I don’t think so. Ask any one of us from my mother to your dad, Brenda, me, Ben and especially Judy, if this has not happened at one time or another to each of us. It is part of life. We all survived and we all agree how much it hurts. I know it doesn’t look as if you have a home right now, but you will have, and if you don’t turn people against you, it will be a happy one.”

I did not say anything more and started eating again. The rest did the same. Brenda was up to get the coffee pot. Peggy rose and went to Brenda. “I’m sorry for what I said. It isn’t any of my business, I’m just so unhappy.” Brenda gathered the girl to her and gave her a hug.

After breakfast, Peggy went by me. “I’m still sucking up.”

“Did you mean what you said to Brenda?”

“I did. I meant every word of it. If Brenda is going to be living with my father, I figured I better keep her as a friend.”

“Good, you got the message.”

There was to be no lunch as such, just stuff to pick on. Supper was to be the big meal of the day. This was to celebrate Mom and Ho’s wedding. Judy took Peggy into her room. She had promised she would do something with Peggy’s hair and find her a dress for the wedding. Pete asked if he had to get dressed up and I assured him Jeans and a long-sleeved shirt would be fine. Brenda had the forethought to bring one for him to wear.

The minister arrived. He was the one who conducted the funeral service when my father died and he was considered a long-time friend of the family. The flowers came delivered by the florist. Mom was glowing and Ho looked the same as any bridegroom, being both nervous and happy at the same time.

There was no wedding music, but some instrumental Christmas music was playing low in the background. The minister asked, “Are we ready to begin?” Just then, Judy and Peggy came out into the living room. Both women were beautiful. Judy had shortened and styled Peggy’s hair. Peggy had on a dress that made her look ten years older. She had lipstick and some blush applied. Judy had even put some heels on her. You could tell they were a size too large, but the effect was there.

Sandy had a camera and positioned the bride and groom in front of the fireplace, which would not be lit until after the ceremony. Sandy handed the camera to Brenda. Sandy and Ben were going to stand beside their grandmother and Ho. Judy came up and stood beside me, and Peggy quickly took my other arm. Pat stood beside his daughter and Charlie stood beside his sister. Pete hid behind his sister. It was soon over.

The minister went around and spoke to everyone, apologizing because he could not stay. It was kind of a haphazard hugging fest as we all congratulated the newlyweds. I even hugged and kissed Brenda. She whispered, “I had forgotten how good you were when Ben was having girl problems in his teen years. I was ready to hate Peggy until you spoke to her. I think she expected you to take her side. I would have been terribly hurt if you had.”

“She was wrong, and had to be made to see that she was.”

“Thank you anyway. It is going to be much easier for me to get along with her.”

Ho stripped off his wedding suit and lit the big range in the kitchen. He had been marinating various meats in preparation (beef, pork and chicken) and chunked-up vegetables for kabobs. These he fitted onto wooden skewers and placed them on the grill. He placed potatoes in the oven to bake. When he told Brenda food was ready to serve, he disappeared and came out with his suit on again. Sandy whispered, Ho had asked her to take pictures with the wedding cake sitting before him and mother.

This was Christmas Eve, and after supper, we were all going to watch some favorite shows on television. It was nine-thirty when Brenda came to me. “Pat and I are leaving now. I’ll be back to help with Christmas dinner.”

“You don’t have to leave. You can stay another night. Judy won’t mind giving up her bed.”

“No, all of the pies are at Pat’s and I need to get them for tomorrow. One more big change is that I’m not cuddled up to you on a Christmas Eve. I have done that for the last twenty-two years.” There were tears in Brenda’s eyes. “You will find some nice woman who will love you again and forget all about me.”

“Don’t think that Brenda. We have had some wonderful years together. I have watched Pat. He loves you a lot. Just don’t hurt him and I don’t intend to forget the good times we had together either.”

“I love him too. I didn’t know I was going to have his children with us when we started going together, but I’m going to try my best not be the evil stepmother to them.”

“You’ll do fine.” I hugged the woman who was still my wife and shook Pat’s hand. I almost didn't until I saw Peggy and Pete watching me. This farm had been the Rivers’ home place for a couple of centuries. Brenda had been a part of it and I was not going to make things difficult for what looked to be her new family. I was sure it was headed that way.

Judy slid into my bed later that night. “Peggy and I were talking and she asked me if I was waiting for her to go to sleep. I asked her why? She said she just knew you were waiting for me and wanted to know if I was going to take care of your needs. She didn’t say it, but she implied she would be willing if I wasn’t. That young girl has a serious crush on you, old man that you are. I figured I better come up, stake my claim and damp down your fires so you won’t get any ideas about her.”

“I didn’t notice what a beautiful person she is until you fixed her hair and gave her your dress to wear. Judy, enough about her. Something else is bothering me. I am a lot older than you are. You really should consider that before we get into a serious relationship.”

“Too late, for we are in a relationship and I’ve already made up my mind to make you mine.”

“Judy, listen to me a minute. I do not intend to leave here. If you and I made a life together such as Brenda and I have had, it would be the same as she and I had. You’d get stuck here on the farm and get sick of it just as she has.”

“Jonathan, there is a little difference between Brenda and me. You married her right out of high school and started a family immediately. Me, well I went to college and have had several boyfriends, one of whom I almost married. I am very much more sexually experienced than you are. That is a plus I believe for both of us.

“Another thing I have been meaning to ask you, are you against starting another family? Ben has turned out great and you have done wonders with Peggy and Pete. You have practically assured they will accept Brenda as a step-mom. Even what we are doing now is technically cheating, but you have waited long after Brenda did to look for a little happiness.

“I guess it would hinge on whether you think we could afford a child or two. All I have done this year still isn’t all paid for.”

“Like what and how much?”

“I think there is about $2,300 left on the plumbing bill for the new bathrooms. When that is paid off, I would like to expand the south side of the house and build two more rooms up and two down. The expansion would need two more baths too. That is one reason I kept 30% of the shares unassigned. I would have to use them to draw in an investor.”

“Getting back to having kids. Do you want any or not?”

“If it is okay with you, I do.”

“Okay, I want at least two and I’m not getting any younger. Jonathan, I have never discussed my finances with you and tonight I have something else on my mind. I promise when you get ready to expand, I can help you find financing. But, and that is a big but, I am declaring you and I are in a serious relationship. To make it work, we should get in some practice. Putting tab P into slot V is okay for making babies, but there is a lot more I expect out of the sex act than making babies.”

I started chuckling. “You know what you just said about sex shows the difference in our ages. I would never discuss the act of sex like this with my ex-wife. Maybe that is a contributing factor why she is not my wife anymore. Another thing, I thought about you and me being intimate, but it would have taken me a long time to do anything about it. You came to me and that I am happy about. Sex is a team effort and I do believe we are going to be a team.”

“I do think we are too.” Now it was she who chuckled. “I think to begin with, I’m going to have to teach you how to say some four letter words. Sex is a lot more interesting when you use slang terms. Someday when we are in a crowd of people that you do not know, I am going to walk up to you and ask right out loud, ‘Would you like to screw me?’ I can’t wait to see your face when I do that.”

“Say that to me right now.”

“Nope, you have to say it to me.” I did.

Chapter Six

The Christmas turkey had all of the traditional fixings with it, and of course everyone ate way too much. Every one pitched in afterward and cleaned up. What could be safely left out of the refrigerator was. We could snack on it anytime if we came into the kitchen. Food seemed to be addictive and you just had to have one more taste.

Everyone found a place to lie down. I thought Judy might come upstairs as I had mentioned this back two or three days ago. Of course, things had speeded up since then. I was lying down and almost asleep, when the door opened. It was Peggy and Pete.

“May we lay with you? Brenda and Dad are lying on Judy’s bed and Judy is with Charlie talking about him going back to his home. Who is Tina? I heard her name several times?”

“Tina is his sister-in-law. She will be here tomorrow or the next day to pick him up. I understand Tina was in love with Charlie first before his wife, but she lost out to her sister. Tina was going to care for him when he was injured, but it upset him too much. Judy actually was the one to sue the insurance and the trucking company for the settlement.

“Every night for two years, he would get terribly restless and Judy was the only one that could calm him.”

“How did she do that?”

“She sang him some lullabies and he would go right back to sleep. The catch was that she had to be right there when it first happened. She resolved this by being in bed with him. I thought it wasn’t right when I heard about it, they a brother and sister sleeping together. Judy also led us to believe the worst about herself. I minded, but when I was out west, I thought about it. I decided it was because I was attracted to her and wanted her to be a good woman. She has explained it to my satisfaction and I do believe her, but most people wouldn’t understand.”

“That would be like me caring for and sleeping in bed with my sister for two years wouldn’t it?” Then he grinned, “Eww!”

Peggy was looking at her brother waiting for his thoughts on the subject. “I’ll bet you would care for me if you were needed by me.”

“Well maybe. Can we stay here with you Jonathan?”

“Sure, lie down.”

“I don’t mean just today, I mean for a long time.”

“Your father asked me if you could. I agreed you could until he gets a bigger apartment or buys a house.”

“Good, we both are having a great time. We were hoping you would say yes.”

Judy came into the bedroom. “I have news. Tina will be here in a couple of hours. I gave her directions. She called and Charlie is excited about seeing her. I am glad, for she can help him get over the loss of his family quicker than anyone can. Tina’s parents are planning a big New Year’s bash to bring him back into their fold.”

Peggy asked, “Are you going with them? I would like to have you stay here.”

“No, I’m not leaving. I’m making a new life for myself here in Vermont and I hope it will be with Jonathan.”

“Good, because Jonathan said Pete and I can stay here for awhile and we’d miss you too.”

“I’d miss you as well Peggy.” I drifted off to sleep. Judy lying down on one side of me, Peggy on the other side and Pete next to her.

I did not sleep long. I felt Judy squeeze my hand and glanced sideways so I could smile at her. My thoughts turned to where I was going to put everyone. If Pete and Peggy were going to be staying, I decided to make the rest of the attic habitable for them, by making two more small bedrooms. This would leave me three bedrooms to rent out. That is if Judy moved her belongings in with me. Brenda could not complain and neither could Pat.

Peggy and Pete were old enough to not take exception and liken this as the same position their father was in. Mom could not say anything and Ben would think it okay after how his mother left me. I would not think Charlie would mind his sister hooking up with me either. I might run it by him though. Again, I drifted off.

I awoke to hear a woman screaming and crying, although it did not sound as if she was in pain or was afraid of something. Judy bounced off the bed, and shouted to me, “That’s Tina. She is here.” She went bounding down the stairs. I went down more slowly, with Pete and Peggy following me.

Charlie had this woman in his arms swinging her around, happily. Judy pulled Tina away from her brother and they hugged and kissed each other. Tina spoke, “Charlie, Mom and Dad send their love to you, Judy. Charlie, I can’t believe you are well again.”

“Tina, I guess I’m as well physically as I can be, but I have lost so much of my life. Two years are gone forever, and so much more. Carol and my family can never be replaced.”

“We know that. You are happy to see me though?”

“Yes Tina, I am. I’m very happy to see you.”

Judy was decidedly happy as she spoke, “Well, we don’t have to get into this yet. Let’s put together a meal from the leftovers. We have to get used to you again, Tina. Let me introduce you to Jonathan Rivers. He, his mother, and his wife have made this farm into a place of lodging for guests. That is why Charlie and I came here. Jonathan has also become my special friend. I rented a room from them for Charlie and in some ways have become part of the life here. Charlie is leaving, but I’m going to stay.”

“Special friend in what way?”

“Tina, my wife and I are getting a divorce. Brenda is living with Peggy and Pete’s father in town. They do not have enough bedrooms, so arrangements have been made for them to stay here at the lodge. It is mixed up I know, but it is convenient for all of us. Ben, my son is here with his wife and our grandchildren. They will be leaving Tuesday. You will meet them and my mother and her new husband this evening.”

“This place is just like a big home with lots of members. Can Charlie and I have some time for us to speak alone? We have a lot of catching up to do.”

“Come on Tina, we’ll go to my room. Would all of you excuse us?” Charlie was holding her hand as he led her to his room.

“She is very pretty,” Peggy declared.

Judy expanded on the situation. “Carol was just as pretty. Tina has loved Charlie for several years even before Carol claimed him. If she had been a little more aggressive than her sister had years ago, she would have had the chance to marry him back then. She is also sad because her sister had to die to give her the chance for the happiness she missed before. The chance has come again to be happy. It is not often a woman can have a do over.”

I thought to myself that Tina had a fine line to walk and it would not be easy. Her sister as a ghost would always be in both Charlie’s and her thoughts. Could a relationship survive under these conditions? Not my problem, but I was pulling for them. It would make Judy happy if they were happy and that is what I was hoping.

Pat and Brenda came up for a meal of leftovers. Charlie and Tina came out of his room and she was hanging on his arm. He was receptive of this show of affection. He made a little speech. “Everyone here has been so kind to me and I’d like to stay and get to know you better. However, Tina tells me the business that I am in with my father-in-law needs me desperately. She and I will be staying the night and leaving early in the morning.

“Judy, you have done so much for me and I feel as if I am abandoning you. Will you mind too much if I leave?”

“No Charlie, you have to get on with your life as soon as possible. I’m still your guardian and that is what I am advising.”

“Okay then, I thank you for all of the care you gave me for so long. The settlement that was awarded from the accident I will leave in your hands. It is in your name and that does not need to change. It is yours to do with what you want with it. It was you who sued for it and you deserve what is left.”

“You are being overly generous.”

“That is the way I want it.”

Morning found us saying goodbye to Charlie and Tina. Ben, Sandy and the grand kids left after lunch. Brenda and Pat made arrangements to meet Tuesday for Pete and Peggy to go into the school administration office to get them enrolled to start school when the New Year commenced the following Monday. Brenda was going to take both kids shopping for clothes after they finished with enrolling. They hadn’t brought enough clothes with them and a new school and new clothes seemed to go together.

Ho and I started building rooms out of what space my room had not taken up in the attic. The aisle to the end of the house was narrow because we wanted the two rooms to be as large as possible. Some day we might raise the roof so a person could stand upright all the way around the room. For now, the foot of the beds went beneath the slope of the roof. The middle room between my room and the end one did not have a window, but for the winter, it didn’t matter. We at least would consider skylights if not raising the whole roof.

I wrote down the dimensions and made a materials list. I drove down to the building supply store and ordered the studs, which were loaded onto my truck. When I got home and unloaded, I sent Judy down to pick up the insulation. The sheet rock would be delivered on Thursday. Ho and I started framing the rooms.

Between noon and one o’clock, I called a friend who worked a second shift and held an electrician’s license to come wire the rooms before I started putting up the sheet rock. I told him I expected both rooms would be framed before the end of the week. I wanted to start putting up the walls Saturday.

Pat and Brenda came in with the kids in the middle of the afternoon. Pat came upstairs to see what we were doing. “Hey, I’ll measure and Jonathan you cut and Ho can do the nailing. Pete can get the 2x4’s from the barn. I did a lot of this on a house I owned before I was divorced. I’m pretty good at putting up the wall board too.”

With the added help, we were waiting on the load of sheet rock Thursday morning. By Friday evening, we had all the walls up, the joints taped, and the first coat of compound on them. We had something more than the New Year to celebrate Saturday night, as the walls were primed and ready for color. We took Sunday off and relaxed. Judy promised to put paint on the walls on Monday while everyone was either in school or working.

On Wednesday evening, everyone worked to move in a single bed, a bureau, a small table, and one chair into each of the two rooms. We had opted to heat the rooms with electric heaters for the winter, although they wouldn’t need much. We were thinking we would wait until warm weather to hook up some sort of central heat.

We had not reserved any of the rooms over the holiday because we needed to concentrate on constructing the bedrooms for Pete and Peggy. We now had the two rooms in the main house free. “You know Jonathan, if you let me move in with you, you would have my room to let out as well. Everyone is aware we are sleeping together.”

“Brenda doesn’t know.”

“So? She will find out soon and I will bet she suspects we are together already. If it is the loss of the money for the room I have been paying, I’ll still contribute that amount.”

“Oh come on now Judy, I’m tight, but not that tight.”

“Well, I feel I am taking advantage of you. I come here, rent a room, and then move into your room and not pay anything. What does that say about me?”

“Let’s see. You work full time helping with preparing meals and doing the laundry. You painted two bedrooms last week and ran errands every day. The lodge is taking in some money from the kids because of your efforts. You certainly are more of a wife to me than my own is. Remember also, she is going to be having two stepchildren and the children love you as much as they do her. It is me that should be paying you.”

“Let’s not talk about money. Jonathan, I have enough money to live the rest of my life. It comes from Charlie’s accident of course, but it is in my name and he wants me to have it to do with what I want with it. I’ll be your backup position if it is necessary. That said, if you think what I am doing here is worth me having a wonderful warm home, I will take it. That is if you come with it.”

“Okay, we’ll move your things into my room. I’ll be there to welcome you when the lights go out tonight.”

Tears appeared In Judy’s eyes. “It’s not just tonight I’m thinking about. It is tomorrow night and every one after that as well.”

“We can make it happen.”

---

The winter passed slowly. The two kids took the school bus from the farm every day and either came home on it or went to their father’s house from school and came up with Brenda in the evening when she did. Over time, Brenda did not come up to the farm as often. In that case, the kids called me before I got out of work and they rode home with me.

Pete never spoke of his own mother and Peggy just made a face if she was mentioned. I took it they hadn’t liked their stepfather at all and blamed their mother for making them stay with her as long as they did. They set about making sure that Pat made permanent the full custody so they would not ever have to go back to live with their mother again. Brenda became first in their hearts as a Mom. Judy and I weren’t far behind as surrogate parents for them as well.

Pat and Brenda had found much happiness in each other and I was comfortable with that. Peggy and Pete helped a lot as they took to Brenda and were looking forward to their father and Brenda marrying when the divorce became final after April 1. The kids begged to stay at the lodge and Pat never even looked for a larger apartment. Both adults came up to the lodge at least three nights a week for supper and spent either Saturday or Sunday with us. The other day of the weekend, the kids spent with their father and Brenda at the apartment.

Both kids had chores at the lodge and I don't know how many times when there was a chore to do, Peggy would glance at me and whisper, “Time to suck up and do something for somebody.” This made me crack up every time.

Judy took Pete under her wing and started telling him what went on out in the woods. He was interested in the wildlife and Judy showed him how the woodland gave animals a home and food that grew there. After we found snowshoes for him to wear, he spent much of his free time looking and observing what went on as often as possible.

March brought sugaring season. We had prepared for the season, there was wood cut, stacked and dried, and we had the equipment to produce the syrup. The major problem was that I was working and I was the only one who was familiar with the operation. We solved this problem by having a retired farmer come in and instruct Judy, with Pete looking on and doing most of the firing. We did manage to make thirty-seven gallons. Next year we planned to tap more trees and should make at least a hundred gallons.

Judy and I set about making plans to expand the lodge, with the idea of building on four more rooms to the south of the main house. Mom and Ho left the planning to us. We did include Brenda, as she owned shares. The three rooms we filled every weekend throughout the winter and often had guests staying during the week at least half the time. It seemed when boarders came and liked the place, they would extend their stay if we could accommodate them.

Brenda drove in on April third. She had Pete and Peggy with her. Peggy looked as if she had a secret she wanted to share. Brenda looked closely at me and did not say much. Pete was not much into keeping secrets. “Jonathan, did you get something special in the mail today?”

“I haven’t looked at the mail yet. Why?”

“Just wondering. Brenda looked at hers.”

“Oh.”

Brenda spoke, “I received my final divorce decree today. We were wondering if you received yours.”

“I’ll look.” It was sandwiched in amongst several magazines and the usual junk mail. “Kids, let me have a moment alone with Brenda, please.” Brenda waited for them to leave before speaking.

“This is the end of it for us, isn’t it Jonathan. It makes me feel sad and somewhat lost. I know I brought it all on myself and I do not have any real regrets. Pat is a wonderful man and I do love him dearly. How are you feeling about everything?”

“Give me a minute to get used to the idea. I knew the end was coming. I suppose I feel the same way as you do. You know except for the intimacies we had, I don’t feel that much different about this or about you than I did before. I still love you and I hope you feel the same about me. We work just as well together as we always have and you are here almost half as much. I think it was a wise move for us to separate when we did. We have both been so fortunate to find someone to fill in the experiences that were deficient in our marriage. I’m very happy with Judy.”

“Yes, and I’m happy with Pat. Will you be marrying Judy?”

“Very shortly.”

“Pat and I are planning on getting married the week after next during the spring break from school. We did not get away at Christmas time, but are planning a short honeymoon then. I’ve already asked Ben and Sandy to come for the wedding, but they can’t make it.”

“That is too bad. I mean it is too bad Ben can’t be here. Judy and I are waiting until school lets out in June before we tie the knot. You and Pat will have to stay here while we are away for our honeymoon.”

“We certainly will.” I had not kissed Brenda but once or twice since I instituted the divorce. We did manage one now, but there was no passion for either of us. Just as friends saying goodbye.

Judy came in and I tossed the divorce decree to her to read as she said, “The kids told me Brenda had received hers. What now?”

“I guess I had better be making an honest woman out of you.”

“You don’t have to, you know. I’m happy just living here with you.”

“Not good enough. Judy, would you please marry me?”

Judy glanced at Brenda, then came, and kissed me. “You dared ask me in front of a witness. I know you mean it and I have been praying for this day for several months. Much longer than you knew, I’m sure.”

“Maybe. It does not really matter now. Call your brother. In one way he is the one that brought us to this day even when he didn’t know he was doing it.”

Brenda spoke up, “You mean by my getting into bed with Charlie last summer, don’t you?”

“No, I wasn’t thinking of that. It was more of his amnesia and Judy looking for a quiet place to care for him. Judy was here and I was attracted to her. I suppose I used your infidelity as an excuse for the divorce, but on reflection, we both were looking for a way to separate.”

“We were weren’t we? It has really worked out well without a lot of heartbreak too. Having said all of this, we won’t have to visit the subject again will we?”

---

The town clerk married Brenda and Patterson Brooks just before the office closed the last day before school vacation. Peggy and Pete were there of course. Judy also went, driving Mom and Ho into town. The kids came home with her while Brenda and Pat headed for Boston for their honeymoon. Judy searched my face to see how I felt about this. There was nothing to see, for I was comfortable with the situation.

We had guests to fill all of the empty rooms for the week. The phone rang about nine the next morning and Peggy took the call. I overheard Peggy, who was filling in in the office speaking sharply to a person on the other end. “I’ll give you directions to get here, but you will have to get a motel room in town for however long you are here. Just for your information, Dad is on his honeymoon this week. He has married a nice woman and she is a wonderful step-mom to Pete and me. I love her dearly.”

Peggy was being questioned, “Pete and me are living with my new grandmother. I also have a stepbrother who is married so I have a sister-in-law and two nieces although they do not live here. I’ll fill you and Harry in if you can find the time to be interested when you get here.” Peggy proceeded to give directions and hung up the phone. She looked at me.

“My mother and her husband are in town. I suppose they’ll be hanging around during our vacation.”

“You don’t sound too happy about it?”

“I’m not and I don’t like my stepfather. Mother has hardly had anything to do with Pete and me since she shuffled us here to live with Dad. You will have to entertain them because I will be too busy. I am not letting my work go just because they showed up. I am filling in for Mom this week and we have a full house.

“Do you hate your mother?”

“No, I guess I don’t hate her, but she never has given us much time when we lived with her. Not like the way you and Brenda do. Judy is more to me than Mother was and she isn’t even related.”

“I’m not related to you. I’m just a friend.”

“You’re way more than that. Besides, Ben is my brother now, Selma is his grandmother, and you are her son. That must make you some kind of relation to me.”

“It sounds like a stretch to me, but if you say so, I’ll consider you family. Now let’s talk about your mother. What is it you don’t like about her?”

“She left Dad and ran off with Harry and made Pete and I go live with her. She also made him still support us when he did not have the money. He could not come to see us, because he didn’t have money enough to do so. Harry has plenty of money, but she never bothers to come see us. I haven’t seen her since before Christmas.”

“Did you ever talk to your father about why he and your mother divorced? Have you asked your mother why? You were not very old when this happened. Maybe something happened to cause the split of which you are not aware. Whatever it was, it messed up the perfect lives for you two, but you are almost an adult now, and you have seen more of life since you came to live with your father and us here. Get some facts and maybe you’ll see their situation and how you were treated in a different light.”

“How am I going to do that?”

I looked at her waiting for her to get the message, “Oh no, you want me to suck up to them don’t you?”

“Not really, but you could be friendly. I suspect you did not make things easy on your mother and stepfather. She is coming to visit so make her welcome. Tell her how you felt then and how you feel now. Look at your stepfather through more mature eyes. He may not be as bad as you think. I just hate to see you drive your mother out of your life when she could be a big help to you sometime in the future.”

“I don’t see how she can be.”

“Um, let’s see. What would happen if when you got ready for college, your dad lost his job, and he could not afford to send you? Your mother might just be there for you and you can get on with your life without interruption. That is a little bit mercenary, but it is something to think about. To not feel guilty about it though, you will have to keep her friendly so she would be willing even if you don’t need her.”

“In other words, we are getting back to sucking up aren’t we?”

“I guess we are. Enough of this. You do what you feel you should do. Go find Pete and tell him his mother is coming. Don’t worry about what your chores are this week either. We’ll cover for you and you may never have a chance to get this close to your mother again.”

“I’ll see how Pete feels about what you have just said when I tell him.” I took from this, Peggy must still have some serious issues with her mother. For the minute, I was counting on Pete to help straighten out her thinking. He always wanted to get along with everyone and he would try to convince his sister.

Just before lunch, Peggy said to me, “Okay Jonathan, I’m going into ‘suck up’ mode when mother arrives. Judy even convinced me to change into a pretty dress to impress them. We’ll see how it goes for a little while anyway.”

“Thanks Peggy and I think you will be glad you did.”

Lunch was half over when Harrison and Stella Deemer arrived. Pete and I went out to welcome them, holding the door for them to come in. “Hi Mother and Harry. It has been a long time since Christmas.”

“Yes it has Peter. My how you have grown. You are taller and it looks as if you are getting some muscles.”

“I keep busy and I guess maybe that is it. Mother, this is Jonathan Rivers. He owns the farm here and his ancestors have been here for a couple of centuries. Jonathan, my mother and stepfather, Stella and Harry Deemer.”

“I’m pleased to meet you. Come in and be welcomed. We are at lunch. Please join us. Peggy is serving today as Brenda is away. If you have to freshen up, Pete will show you the facilities. Pete, bring them in to be seated. We expected you, so a place has already been set.”

“Thank you. We did not stop to eat. I was anxious to see my children, so we came up.”

Peggy removed her apron as her mother came in to be seated. “Mother, before you sit, let me introduce everyone. On the end is Selma and Ho Lee. They are my step grandparents. Next to them are the Beasley twins, Kim and Cami. They are retired schoolteachers. They have been here two weeks and will be staying until the last of May. They have the downstairs room in the front of the house. Sitting next to them is Mr. Murdock. He is a writer and is working on a book. He has the back bedroom upstairs.

“This pretty lady, Naomi has the front room upstairs. Her doctor told her she needed to live somewhere quiet until she gets over the loss of her husband. Mom and Dad usually sit where you are seated when they are here. They take half their meals here although their apartment is downtown. Judy Comstock is Jonathan’s fiancée. They are going to be married in June. I sit beside Jonathan when I’m not serving and Pete sits next to him on the other side.”

“You don’t live with Pat and his wife?”

“There isn’t room for us in his apartment. Dad arranged to have Pete and me stay here until he got a bigger place to live, but we liked it so well, he gave that up and lets us stay here all of the time. We have our own rooms. We see Dad every day either here or downtown. He was the one to help make the attic space into rooms for us. Mom owns a small interest in the business and works here when she isn’t at work.”

“Why wasn’t I told all of this? I didn’t know you had to live with strangers.”

“We aren’t living with strangers. We have the best family we have ever had. Jonathan is my mentor. When I first came here Dad had just asked Mom to marry him and I imagined she would be the terrible stepmother. Jonathan asked me to wait a little before I passed judgment on her. I guess she felt she did not need any stepchildren and he asked her not to pass judgment on me. It was not long before we truly felt love and respect for each other.

“Judy helped as well because she had her own agenda. It was a little tense at times, especially when Jonathan first met Dad because my step-mom was still his wife and they weren’t divorced yet. Then Jonathan fell in love with Judy and all four have decided to follow their hearts and just respect the others’ feelings. The best of it all is that they all love me and Pete.” She ran out of explanations. “Mother, eat lunch because it is getting cold. We’ll talk later.”

Everyone resumed eating. Stella was quiet. Peggy had given her a lot to think about. She could see that Pete and Peggy were both happy. Not only that, her kids had not acted resentful toward her or Harry like they had six months before. It was as if they weren’t her children anymore. Was this just a facade and how deep would she have to delve into the change to find it otherwise?

“This stew is really fabulous. What is the meat? I don’t recognize it.”

Pete gave an answer of sorts, “It might be cat. I have not seen my Sam cat around for a couple of days. Ho, you didn’t did you?”

Ho grinned. “No, it rabbit. I have brood does in top of barn. Pete help care them. He always make joke.” Harry went back for a second helping and didn’t take offense.

As lunch was completed, there was a flurry of activity picking and cleaning up. The four guests helped with this, the same as family, and within ten minutes, the table was reset for dinner.

“Mother, sit while I work. I have to get things ready for dinner. Judy and Gram usually do it while Mom works and I am in school. That’s another thing. When we don't have guests, it is dinner in the middle of the day and supper at night.

“Judy is a qualified forester so she will be outside with Pete and Jonathan where they are cutting up some wood this afternoon and Harry can go watch them. Jonathan just bought another chain saw and told Pete it was his to use.”

“Don’t you get tired of all the work they set out for you? Do they give you any money?”

“No, I don’t mind the work because I’m a part of everything that goes on here. When I lived with you, you paid little attention to me. You gave me all the money I needed and wanted and I often used it so some boy had gas to take me somewhere out of the way to get me in the backseat of his car and screw me. Now I go on an occasional date, but it is just to go to the movies or to a school play. The most I ever do now is hold hands and get a kiss on the steps when he brings me home.”

“You were doing that stuff before? I would have put a stop to it if I had known.”

“You couldn’t have stopped me. You would have screamed at me and maybe grounded me, but I would sneak out and do it anyway. You never seemed to care. At least Dad cares about me.”

Stella was silent for several minutes. “Peggy, I really have messed up your life haven’t I? In my own defense, your father and I started down a path to a different lifestyle than we are in now. We were both in agreement about it at first, but then we lost respect for each other and we decided we had better divorce before one of us got violent with the other. I found Harry and I love him as much or more than I did Pat.

“It has taken him a long time to find someone, but from what you say, he has that someone now. I guess you two kids have paid more in unhappiness than Pat or I have and I didn’t realize it. I’m so sorry.”

“You know Jonathan talked to me before you came about me not knowing everything because I was too young when you and Dad broke up. He said I should learn the facts before passing judgment. He is right and Mother, I don't need to know what happened between you and Dad. I know you may think what you see here is nearly perfect, but what you see now is the result of a lot of unhappiness that has happened within the last year for everyone.

“I understand that a year ago at this time, there was only Selma, Brenda and Jonathan here. The three of them decided to take in guests or boarders. Ho Lee was the first to arrive and then some other guests. Judy came with her brother. I don't know everything that happened over the summer, but relationships were formed and then split apart. Brenda and Jonathan had been having trouble with Ben, their son, over him needing money. At the end of the summer, Jonathan left for a few months, but came home to be here when Ho married Selma.

“Pete and I arrived about then. I like to think because we were so unhappy, they all have tried to make us happy and in the process, sorted things out so they ended up happy themselves. That is where things stand now. Mother, I’d like to know you care about me and Pete and I am glad you came to see us.”

“Peggy, from now on I’m going to show you much I care about you. What can I do?”

“You could start by peeling the ten pounds of potatoes we need for dinner. I’ll do the carrots.”

In the woodlot, I was watching Judy instructing Pete in the safe use of the chain saw. Harry could see how intently Pete was listening to her. Pete soon started making cuts. I then started my saw and we were soon finished. We laid the saws down and took a short tour of the woods. As we went along, Judy pointed out what she had planned to improve the stand of timber. The ice storm last December required a lot of clean up. Pete declared that he wanted to become a forester when he graduated high school.

Harry then questioned Judy what this entailed to become qualified. Before we returned, Harry offered to pay for Pete’s necessary courses to make him a forester. Would Pete still want this four years from now? Time would tell.

When we all got together again, Peggy had decided that her mother would have her room for the night and assured Stella, Pete would give up his room for Harry to sleep in. “We have done this before when beds have been tight. Think nothing of it. The couches are comfortable.”

Brenda called Judy to ask how things were going. She was informed that Stella and Harry were here and would not be leaving until Saturday. Surprise! Pat and Brenda shortened their honeymoon and arrived back Thursday afternoon. Brenda had never met Stella. How the two women would receive each other was an unknown.

Peggy solved that problem. “Mom, it is so good to have you home. I have missed you.” She went and hugged Brenda, although Stella was on the other side of the room. “Come meet my mother. We have made up during this vacation now that she came to see me.”

Stella and Pat eyed each other. “Stella, you are looking well. Where is Harry?”

“He is in the other room talking to Pete.” Peggy took Brenda into the other room so she could meet Harry.

Stella continued talking to Pat. “Pat, you and Brenda have done wonders with the kids. Much better than Harry and I were doing. He and I would like to see more of them from now on. Maybe we can make up some sort of schedule where we can. The kids would like to renew some friendships they had while they were living with us and just maybe it will be us as well.”

“I’m sure we can come to some agreement. Don't give Brenda and me all of the laurels about how Peggy and Pete are doing. It is Jonathan and sometimes Judy who have made the difference in their lives— all of our lives, I guess you could say. I don’t think that anyone who knows Jonathan will disagree with me either.”

“Pat, how can he be friends with you when you are married to his wife? That is so unusual.”

“Yes it is. Jonathan and Brenda grew apart during the summer of last year. I don’t have to go into details, but something she did brought about his suing for a divorce. I don't think it was any one thing, but he realized he was not in love with her anymore and she realized she was not in love with him.

“When she came to town to work, there I was. Jonathan had moved out west, so after awhile Brenda and I started a relationship. I had not met Jonathan before he returned from out west and I was concerned about meeting him the first time. They were of course, still married at the time.

“It helped a lot that Peggy and Pete were with me. He became concerned how the kids were feeling about their situation. I mean, you dumping them on me and then I did not have room for them in my apartment. I had to come ask him if they could stay here. It was damned awkward, I’ll tell you, and I didn't have any kind thoughts about what you had done to me either.

“However Brenda and Jonathan talked through their differences on the ride home after she picked him up at the airport. They concluded that they had too many good years together to give way to hate because of any hurt they had experienced. They decided to be friends. I have been very careful not to make Jonathan jealous and I’m pleased to say he has become my friend as well.

“We pulled together for the kids and have given them a home even though they don’t technically live with me. They needed someone to care deeply about them and I think we caught them right on the brink of going bad. I get this from some things Jonathan has said about Peggy. She started sharing her life with him right from the first. To be honest, that was good or I would have been screaming at her the same as what caused you to bring her here.”

Stella sat thinking. “You’re saying that it has taken someone other than the kids’ parents to smarten them up, aren’t you?”

“I am. It is not only about the children either. It has wised me up as well. So, you can say I am doing well with them, but it really is Jonathan and how he comes across with everyone. He has had his share of pain and disappointments in the last year. This drove him to think about what was not only good for him, but others as well.”

“I guess before Harry and I leave, I’m going to have a talk with this man about the kids. Maybe I can get them to adore us like they adore you and your new wife. How did he get so smart anyway?”

“He supervises a bunch of women in a factory. He claims he has been the shoulder to cry on for every woman in almost every situation concerning relationships, breakups, sickness and everything else that you can imagine. He says mostly he just listens, but claims some pointed questions solve many of the problems. I guess he knows the correct questions to ask.”

It was a particularly congenial dinner that evening. Again, it seemed as if Pete and Peggy were the ones to prevent any past hurts from surfacing to cause trouble. No one wanted to hurt his or her feelings. Peggy and Pete had the love of Jonathan and Judy and even though not related, they could count on them to see to their welfare.

Brenda and Pat, the newlyweds, wanted to show everyone how happy they were and how much they loved the two children. Stella and Harry had come to grips that they had not been the best of parents. They wanted to demonstrate that now they were back on track to give the kids the love that had been denied.

By the time the week ended, and it was time for Stella and Harry to depart, they had seen how close Pete and Peggy were to Pat and Brenda. Pat and Brenda were startled when they were asked if Brenda wanted to become the kids adopted mother. “Harry and I talked about this most of last night. We can see where they really love you. You will be responsible for their welfare as their stepmother.

“I wouldn’t be relinquishing any of my rights as birth mother, but I can see where if you had more certain control of the children, they could continue to grow and mature as they have in the last six months. Harry has taken a position in Japan and I want to travel with him. We will be over there for the next three years. By the time we return, Peggy will be of age and Pete, nearly so. When they reach eighteen they will be adults, and can make their own decisions.”

“I would care for them as their stepmother. That would not change. It would be nice to claim them as my daughter and son. I hadn’t even considered something such as adoption of them.” She turned to Peggy who had listened to this proposal.

“I’d like to have you as my Mom. Pete would too.”

“Okay, we will get the paperwork started. It will take some time, but we will not be leaving for the Orient for another couple of months. Pat, do you have an attorney we can work with on this?”

“We will use Jonathan’s. In a way, Jonathan is part of this, because Pete and Peggy will still be living here. Stella, you have mellowed more than I can imagine. I don’t feel anywhere as much bitterness toward you now as I did.”

“Yes, I suppose I have mellowed, but so haven’t you. I asked Peggy to tell me what her life was really like when she was living with us. I did not know how badly I was shirking my duty as mother to them until we talked. She spoke more as an adult than the petulant child I remembered her as being, and I believe her. Somehow, I think they lucked out when I dumped them on you. I really do want the best for them. Harry and I want it to continue.”

Chapter Seven

Judy and I had about the same size wedding as Selma and Ho the first day of June. We had been living together now for six months so the ceremony was anti-climactic. I think Brenda was one of the happier persons. She was happy for me, because my being married now removed most of the guilt she felt about contributing to our breakup last summer and fall.

Selma, Brenda and I were still the owners of record for the lodge business. We wanted four more rooms to rent out. At first, it seemed the best direction was to build on the south side of the present building. I did look for help in the design.

The person whom I asked talked me out of what I had in mind. “Go west with your addition. If you want four rooms on the ground, just extend it out in the shape of the building as it is now. That would keep the same roof design and it would double the size of the main house. You will not get away from the old New England farmhouse look. That is important to the people who are looking for a period house.”

I had him draw up an estimate of what the cost was going to be. Again, the plumbing for three bathrooms would be a major cost. The new addition would increase the total of bathrooms to seven, and demanded a bigger disposal of the sewage to handle them all.

I was balancing my checkbook the first statement after my wedding. I knew it should have about $87,000 listed in it. I felt I could use $50,000 of this and look to an investor for the remainder.

I slit the statement envelope and stared at the amount. Next, I looked at the deposits. Deposit, June 2, 2008—$500,000. Just then, I felt arms go around me and Judy whispered in my ear, “You heard Charlie tell me the money from the insurance company to care for him was mine. You also said I could help with the records so I have been looking at them. Jonathan, there is more money if we need it.” I pulled my wife into my lap and kissed her.

I knew my mother was preparing vegetables in the kitchen. I took Judy by one hand and the statement in the other. “Mom, we have an investor for the new addition. When Brenda gets here this afternoon, I want to make Judy another one of the part owners of our business. In the meantime, we will be upstairs discussing it. I want to give her my thanks for making life easier for all of us.” Mom looked at the statement and waved her hand at us to go.

Stella and Harry were due to leave for Japan and arrive there on July the 1st. During this time, Peggy and Pete were adopted by Brenda, who was listed as their mother. Attorneys for both their natural parents had said this was not necessary, but both Stella and Harry insisted on it. Stella felt as long as she was going to be out of the country for such a long time Brenda should have full control of the children if anything should happen to Pat.

Pete and Peggy spent the remainder of June with Harry and Stella after they finished school for the year. Pat and Brenda traveled to see Stella off to Japan and collect the kids so they could come home together. I overheard Peggy telling Judy that she loved her mother again, now that she was being treated as an adult, but she now loved Brenda just as much and maybe a little more.

Our three rooms were now being booked solid. Most of our patrons were people who had come and stayed for a few days and loved it. Kim and Cami, the retired twin schoolteachers, had asked to lease the downstairs bedroom for the next year. They were treated as an addition to the family and all took an interest in what was going on. They got very excited when informed we would be enlarging the main house and adding six more rooms.

Judy became the driving force in pushing things along. I still worked every day, hating to give up my employment. I liked working out, but I knew, as things got busier around the lodge, I should be here full time. “Jonathan, I was thinking that while everything is under construction this year we should do more.”

“Tell me.”

“We should turn the living room into a dining room. We are going to have a lot more guests by Christmas. We need more room in the kitchen. And, I have figured out where we can put even more guests. You can quit work by the start of the New Year, and I can see you all day, every day. Would you like that?”

“I would. Explain how you think you can make my life more wonderful than it is.”

“We should make the horse barn into a bunk house for the family. We need Selma and Ho’s room to enlarge the kitchen anyway. You and I can sleep where Ho did last summer. There is plenty of room for a bath for Peggy and Pete, constructed behind our room. We can make two big rooms and a bath on the first level. Selma can pick the one she wants. It is mostly open underneath the building. With a little excavating we can put in a furnace and one more big room for when we have guests of our own like Sandy, Ben and their girls to stay in.”

“This would mean two more bathrooms going into the new system. It isn’t designed for that.”

“Can’t we have a separate one of our own?”

“I guess. We should have a small kitchen to build a snack if we don’t want to go to the big house, shouldn’t we?”

“I was going to ask about that, but didn’t want to push it. Speaking about pushing. Are you going to tell me to push when we have our baby?”

“I certainly am. When would this be happening?”

“The third week of November. Haven’t you noticed I was putting on a little weight?”

“I did and I knew you must be pregnant. One of the women who work for me was in the doctor’s office the same time you were last month. I was hoping.”

“You are all right with this?”

“More than all right. I’m ecstatic! I wonder what Brenda will say?” That slipped out. Brenda and I had talked about having another child after Ben had grown up, but had put it off. I looked at Judy to see how she received my wondering about my ex-wife and her feelings.

She had a smirk on her face. “Brenda is wondering about you and your feelings too. She is due about the same time as I am. She is telling Pat today that we both are pregnant.”

“Isn’t Brenda too old for another baby?” A pang of worry for my ex-wife pierced me.

“No. She will have to be more careful during her pregnancy than I am because of her age, that is all. I am surprised at her decision, though. I would think she would not want to go through raising a child at her age. She wants the baby for Pat, because she loves him so much.”

“What about me? I’m the same age as she is.”

“I know, but you have me. Also your mother and Pete and Peggy are going to be around here the rest of their lives.”

“You can’t know that.”

“Well, Pete is going to be anyway. You may not have noticed, but he is with Ho just about all of his time. He went into the farm extension service for pamphlets on raising vegetables, fruit and small animals for food. Ho is already raising a few rabbits to give us a change in meat. The top of the cow barn is ideal for that. Eventually he wants to talk to you about putting a pick-your-own operation on the fifteen acres where the pasture is now. It isn’t too steep to get a small garden tractor around to till blueberries, raspberries and blackberries.”

“I suppose Peggy is planning something so she can live here as well?”

“You got it. She has looked at the Boston Culinary Institute. I am taking her down for an interview next week. Stella sent a check to cover expenses.”

“It is early for that isn’t it?”

“Peggy graduates in June. Stella is pushing her to go on to school and make something of herself. Peggy said she wanted to stay right here and live with all of us. She is willing to leave only long enough to learn something that will make her useful, so this is what she has come up with.”

“That’s a great plan. She will have a job when she graduates. I was worried that we might have as many as thirty people to feed three times a day.”

“Jonathan, it may be more. If the family moves into the horse barn, that will open up the three rooms in the attic we can let out.”

“That is true. Maybe I had better plan on working beyond the first of the New Year.

“No way. I am going to be here with a two-month-old baby by then. I know you can’t boss this place as well as me, but I will need you to keep things organized.”

“Okay, but I will expect some kind of payment.”

“You got it. I think I had better start prepayment today.” I was taken by the hand. I followed this woman up to our room in the attic.

---

I had all of the contractors for the construction lined up to begin work as soon as we had the permits. One of our boarders, the one who was a writer, decided that he could not concentrate so he left. However, Kim and Cami, the schoolteachers, reveled in the action that was taking place. They were in their sixties and had never married. They flirted with the workers and had a grand time making friends with them all.

I had one company in to do the excavating. This company also was the one that had the engineer to install the two separate sewer systems. It was not long before the health officer came and approved their work so the leach field could be covered and the area reseeded. I had hired one builder to do the addition on the house and another to remodel the horse barn.

I had promised Judy, that by the time our baby was delivered, the construction would be completed. She could then give her attention to loving our child with minimal noise from the construction. We scheduled not to fill the new rooms with boarders until after the first of the year. For at least six weeks, we would not be too busy.

It was planned for Brenda to spend more time here at the lodge, as she would not be going back to work when the baby came. She of course would be going with Pat downtown at night, but be here during the day. This was Brenda’s idea and we agreed that as the rooms filled up, we were going to be extremely busy and there were things she could do.

The renovations on the horse barn were complete by the end of October and the family was moved in by November 1. There were the two extremely pregnant women waddling around doing what they could. Peggy kept telling them to relax and try not to do so much. Judy was as active as ever. Brenda was good most days, but on some, she said she was tired and almost dizzy. Everyone was worried about her.

I was. I had been married to her for so many years. Our parting did not dispel the love I had for her. The lust we had when we were first married and for several more years were gone, of course, but the love was still there. Sometimes when we caught a minute alone, Brenda always brought up that she still did love me and apologized again for not being true.

I countered with the question if she was happy with Pat. “Yes I am. I wanted to give him this child so he would never wonder about you and me and if I regretted marrying him. I don’t, not ever.”

“That is as it should be. I was mightily attracted to Judy at the time. You knew that. All in all, our lives have turned out for the best.” After this conversation, it seemed only right that we should hug. This moved to a kiss. Brenda started giggling.

“You’re no Pat, but you’re still pretty good.”

I laughed with her. “I know what you mean. You are no Judy. Judy would have had her tongue down my throat and would have been grabbing for something before we finished kissing. You both are alike in one way. When we just hugged, I could feel the baby kicking against me. The same thing happens when I hug Judy.”

“That’s nice. It won’t be long before you can hug both babies on their own.”

---

My phone was ringing. I turned the light on and glanced at the clock. It was after two. “Yes?”

“Jonathan, I’m in the hospital. Brenda has complications. Would you drive Peggy and Selma in to the hospital for me? There is no hurry and don’t bother Judy.”

“Okay Pat, we will be right there. Is it the baby?”

“Everything is fine. I’ll see you in a little bit.”

I hurriedly put my clothes on and woke my mother and Peggy. By this time, the whole household was waking up. I had no answers for their questions and we were soon on the road to the hospital. Pat met us outside the Emergency Room. We gathered around him.

Tears were running down his cheeks. He was trying to get through this without breaking up totally. “I’m sorry to tell you, but Brenda passed away a few minutes ago. She woke me saying she had a wicked headache. I immediately called Rescue. I only had a few words with her before the pain got so bad she couldn’t speak. Some words of her love for me, some for Pete, Peggy, and a couple for you, Jonathan. The last were about the baby.

“She asked that if she did not make it that we name the baby Brenda so we would not forget her. I promised and I know she heard me before she had a convulsion and slid into unconsciousness. The Rescue personnel think she may have had a brain aneurysm.

“They say the pregnancy wouldn’t have had anything to do with this problem. It was lucky she could carry little Brenda to full term, which would have been in three more days. We can see the baby in another little while.”

Tears were now falling from all of us. Pat was having trouble maintaining his balance so we helped him inside. A nurse came out and had questions about what to do with Brenda’s remains. When that was finished, she said for us to go up to the nursery. There were only two babies in the nursery. The nurse there held up the largest infant for us to view. Little Brenda was nearly seven pounds.

The nurse then came out and suggested the baby stay in the hospital a few days. This would be until we could arrange for someone to take care of the baby. She assured us that the baby was perfectly healthy and should present few problems even though her mother was not there to be with her.

It was a sad, tearful journey home that morning. I think Ho was devastated as much or more than we were. He had lost so many loved ones. Judy’s words were, “Pat bring the baby home and we will care for it. I have big breasts and if they continue to fill as they have so far, I will have enough milk to nurse little Brenda as well as my own baby. That will be in a week or ten days, I promise.”

Phone calls went out to Ben and Sandy. Ben could not believe his mother had died. His concern was for me, even though we were not married any longer. He knew how much I still cared for her. “I can handle it. We were still close and I am going to miss her terribly, but think of the others who need sympathy more than I do. Pete and Peggy loved her more than they do their own mother, and they feel so bad for their father. I do too.

“Pat would feel the same for me if something should happen to Judy. Ho came to me with tears in his eyes, asking if he was going to continue to lose members of his family. Brenda and he were close as stepfather and stepdaughter. Ho has lost two wives and his children and now he has lost Brenda. Mom hasn’t said much, but she always loved Brenda."How are Sandy and the kids taking it?”

“Sandy is crushed. The girls are still too young to be that aware. They are more excited about seeing their aunt and uncle, Pete and Peggy. We will come in tomorrow. Do you have room for us?”

“Yes, you and Sandy can have my old room in the attic. I have moved into the horse barn. Come as soon as you can.”

Judy called Charlie. At first, he could not see why she was so broken up. “After all, you married her ex-husband. I should think there would be some tension and even hate somewhere showing itself.”

“I’ll try to explain it when you get here. There is no room for hate here within this family I married. You aren’t without fault either.”

“Would you explain that, Sis?”

“Not now and maybe never. I should not have said anything. How is Tina?”

“Great. I have asked her to marry me. I am over Carol as much as I will ever be. The wedding will take place on the date I regained my senses. You will come won’t you?”

“We’ll see. I will have my baby by then. Two in fact. I have promised to nurse little Brenda when she comes home from the hospital. I should be lactating by then.”

"You’re going to feed someone else’s baby?”

“If possible I am. I’m going to care for it anyway.”

“What the hell kind of people are you living with?”

“Good people, Charlie. Really good people.”

Peggy had called her mother in Japan. Stella arrived just as the funeral commenced. We did not know it until we were filing by Brenda’s casket at the end of the service that she had arrived. Brenda was buried in the plot she and I had purchased together a few years ago. We hadn’t had a thought at that time we might divorce. The monument had Brenda and my names on it with our birth dates.

Pat was just relieved there was a place for her to be laid to rest. We would resolve this at some other time. “I don’t mind that she lies with you. I see empty lots on the other side. I will inquire and maybe I can purchase one beside her and put up a small stone for myself.” Just details!

Sarah and Joni had been informed of Brenda’s passing, and came with sorry in their hearts and tears in their eyes. Bob and Rich did not come, but sent words of condolence. It was a good thing, for I felt they should share some of the pain of a year ago. I blamed them all and was secretly pleased that they were divorced and making a life separately. I caught a comment that neither were very happy. If Brenda had joined in their lifestyle more than she had, I never would have been able to become friends with her again.

The funeral was what a funeral is. It was sad, tearful and all were glad when it was over. Those who came from afar returned to their homes and went on with their lives. We were left to face what was Brenda’s ethereal presence. She was still here, we just could not see her.

Stella planned to stay until Judy had her baby and she did. It gave Pete someone to cling to--and yes Pat too. I am sure Peggy did love her own mother, but I think in a way she felt she should stay loyal to Brenda and did not open up so much to Stella.

The best thing that did happen for us was when Pat and Peggy brought little Brenda home. It gave us something to think about other than the baby’s mother and her death. Judy was already lactating even though our own baby had not been born yet. When little Brenda arrived home, she was placed with Judy. Judy had inquired of her obstetrician if this was okay. She should birth her own child in two or three days. His reply was, “Unusual, but if you want to try it, go ahead.”

Two days later, little Brenda traveled to the hospital with Judy when her water broke. Little Brenda never missed a feeding. Baby Johnny slipped right down the birth canal and out into the world with a minimum of pain or trouble for his mother. Little Brenda was already feeding when Johnny came back to his mother from being washed and examined.

After he was placed at his mother’s breast, I stared at the three of them. Little Brenda was slightly larger than little Johnny. She was suckling at one breast and he was working the other nipple. Little Brenda’s tiny right fist was extended and across Judy’s tummy. Johnny’s left hand lay on top of little Brenda’s. Given the situation, I knew this was a classic opportunity where I would regret not having a camera. I had no picture, but I would remember.

Pat was a lost soul and Pete was not any better. Peggy was the one to carry much of the load until Judy got her strength back. It only took a week before she finally told her father that he should go back to work. “Mom would want that and Pete isn’t going to feel better until you get away from here for a few hours every day.”

I overheard this from the next room. Suddenly Peggy came into the room and shut the door behind her. She came across the room into my arms and burst out sobbing. She missed Brenda as much as her father and brother. This was the first time she had totally given into her grief. This made me break down as well, and we stood there holding each other. Finally, Peggy’s tears subsided, and I pulled away.

I said, “Come, Judy will be feeding the babies. I love to watch them being fed.”

“Yeah, and I’ll bet you told them to suck up so she will always love them. That is what you said to me when I first came here. I resented it when you told me to suck up to Mom. By then you had already treated me nice and I wanted to show my appreciation. I was not sure at the time my father loved me and my mother certainly did not.

“Mom and I talked about everyone here a lot. She felt terribly guilty about driving you away, but she found Dad and fell in love with him. She so appreciated you not making things difficult for her and you showed the same respect to her as you did while you two were married. There is a lot to remember about her, and it is all good.”

“I agree. I brought her here as a young bride. We had plans, but they never seemed to work out. That is until after we divorced. After she married your father, Brenda missed the farm and what was going on here. You and Pete were a big part of what brought her back here most every day.”

“Don’t believe it Jonathan. You were the biggest part. She still loved being here when you came home from work. We never discussed it, but it was obvious to Pete and me. I don't think Dad realized it at all. One time Mom was watching you and Dad sitting on the porch together talking. She mumbled something and I asked what she said.

“I’ll quote. ‘I’ve had the best of two men. I feel so loved.’ and then she cautioned me to forget she had said that.”

---

Pete shot his first deer on Thanksgiving Day. This one thing took him away from the dark thoughts about losing his stepmother. Pat looked excited and envious and said he would be going with his son next year. Little things like this that were every day occurrences slowly pulled us back to the present and we could shake off our immediate grief. No one would forget Brenda and that was understood.

We planned to open up the new rooms for occupancy the first of the year. We were a little more discerning on how we chose each guest. I did not want anyone again like Bob, Sarah, Joni, or Rich. We couldn’t turn anyone away, because of the laws that governed, but we could limit their stay by claiming we only had an opening for a week at a time.

We limited the amount of rooms let out to nine. This gave us one spare room in the attic in case some of the family showed up unexpectedly. We always made rooms for these loved ones.

As we rented out the rooms in the new addition, we found the work too much for Selma and Judy. They could handle the breakfasts okay, but found lunch and dinner too much. I was home all the time now and it being winter, Ho was helping continuously in the kitchen. We looked for day help and we found a divorced woman who would come in to wait table lunch and dinner during the week. Our boarders still pitched in to help. Still it was not enough.

I ran into one of the people who used to work for me in the factory and she was telling me about her sister who had lost her husband in the military. Her sister (Ellen) had a young daughter (Maryann) of fourteen. The daughter was having problems adjusting to not having a father to whom she had been close. Mother and daughter were soon installed in the empty rooms in the attic. They needed a home and she needed a salary to raise her daughter.

Right away, we could see that Pete had taken on helping Maryann getting over the loss of her father. Up until this time, Pete had earlier had a crush on Judy and we all understood this. I believe he still loved her as much as he had loved his stepmother, Brenda.

To Ellen, I think she had not realized that her daughter was growing up. Maryann had just lost her father and she was about to transfer all of her affection to Pete. Judy spoke to Ellen about this, but Ellen did not or would not deal with this possible new problem on the horizon.

Judy was feeding her babies one afternoon and she was asking me what she should do. I always tried to give my wife a few moments at this time. There was a happy look on Judy’s face that appeared when she had a baby feeding at each breast. “You are going to have to become a father figure to Maryann.”

“It won’t work because I’m way older than her father was. Pat would be fine for her to talk to, but kids do not really take to him. Pete and Peggy have done okay, but that is because they really are his kids.”

Judy understood. “Pete’s hormones are running rampant. I know because he told me he thought he loved me. He was serious. Now don’t you go getting jealous? I promised him I would never tell you and that my heart was with you and there was no room for another. He could easily take Maryann when she offers herself to him, and she will. I don’t know what should be done. I’m thinking of Pete and of her too I guess.”

“Let me talk to Peggy. She was having sex at the age Maryann is now and she was not happy. Maybe she can be of some influence.”

“I didn’t think of Peggy helping. You think a lot of her don’t you?”

“I do. She and I have always had a connection. I have to confess she said the same thing to me that Pete has said to you. I answered her in much the same way. I am going to miss her when she leaves us this coming year.”

“She will be back, though. This is her home and you are here. She would never be happy anywhere else. Talk to her about Pete and Maryann. She won’t want any dissension to develop especially with her brother involved.”

Peggy didn’t think she could help in any way. “Jonathan, I’m leaving for school in a few months and she and Pete will be right back in the same situation. Oh, I will have a girl talk with her and tell her how I felt when I did not think anyone loved me. That was when I started screwing around. Luckily, Mother dumped me here. At first, I thought Dad was dumping me too when he said there wasn’t room for Pete and I with him and Brenda.

“You were here though, and treated me almost like an adult. You didn’t tell me how to get happy, you just showed me. You can figure out how to do the same with Maryann. While we are talking, I would like to tell you something. Jonathan, I still love you as much as I ever did. I am going to miss you so much while I’m at school. I envy Judy so much and she has your babies as well. I’d give anything to have your baby.”

“Peggy, I’ve always been aware of how you felt about me. I have some of the same feeling for you. We have both been adult about it and will continue to do so.”

“May I kiss you and then forget how we both feel?”

I opened my arms and this eighteen-year-old woman came into them. I held her, just hugging her to me. Then I pulled back and looked into her face. This time I kissed her and she clung and kissed me as hard as she could. When I looked into her face again, there were tears streaming from her eyes.

“Jonathan, I feel as if I just went from being a child to becoming a woman. Thank you so much for understanding me. This will last me the rest of my life. I know my life will be good because it is you who gave it to me.” She whirled and left me standing with the feeling that I had really made a difference in Peggy’s life.

Judy asked me about it later. “Peggy came out and hugged me. I could see she had been crying. I thought you were going to ask her about what to do with Maryann? What did you say to her?”

“Peggy doesn’t think she can help much about Maryann. Then she confessed she loved me and asked for a kiss. In a way we were saying goodbye to her childhood.”

“That’s good. Maybe I will have to do the same someday with Pete. So now we still haven’t solved the problem of Maryann.”

“I know. Peggy is going to talk to her. I hope something comes of it.”

A week later on a Saturday morning, I was doing accounts in my office. Maryann came in and stood by me until I looked up to see her standing there. She looked scared and afraid to say anything. Then a determined look came over her face.

“Peggy told me what she was like before she came here. Then she said she met you and you almost immediately made her happy. She said I should talk to you and you would do the same for me. I don’t see how you can? She at least still has a father in Pat and mother in Stella. I don’t have a daddy anymore. Mom is no help. She does not even act sad Daddy is gone. She is just mad all of the time. Mad at me anyway. Pete is the only one here that seems to care about me.”

“Maryann, I suspect your mother is hurting and is trying to hide her true feelings. She probably thinks life has treated her so unfair. She can’t scream at those of us who she works for, so she screams at you. If the chance arises, give your mother a hug and tell her you love her. About Pete. He felt like you do when he came. Judy recognized how he felt and helped him get over his unhappiness.”

“I know. He loves her. Even now when she is married to you.”

“Yes, I know he does, but I trust both Judy and Pete. Let us talk about you and maybe me as well. Tell me some of the things that are really troubling you?”

“I don’t have my Dad anymore. That is the main thing. Mom came to work here and she orders me to do some of the work. She says we came as a package and I have to work because I live here.”

“You don’t like to work?”

“I don’t really mind, except I don’t get anything. I like it when Selma is in the kitchen and Ho is so funny sometimes the way he looks at things. Pete is always being funny too when he is inside, but he works outside most of the time. I wish he were my brother instead of Peggy’s. I wish I could go into town more than I do. I have some girlfriends and I never see them anymore by being stuck way out here.”

“It sounds as if you are lonely and I can see why. I am sorry I didn’t realize it before this. I guess I just left it up to your mother. Let me talk to Judy and we will see if we can do something about your situation.”

“Thank you, for listening to me.” Maryann stood looking at me. I thought we were finished. Then she said, “Peggy said I should ask you for a hug, but I don’t dare.”

“I think Peggy was playing games with you, but if you want one, I would love to hug you.” I received a brilliant smile.

“My Daddy hugged me a lot. I miss them so much. Thank you.”

Just after lunch, Judy said to Maryann, “Peggy and I haven’t had a sleepover or slumber party in ages. Why don’t you call some of your friends to come up and we will have one in the living room tonight. Peggy can use the van to go get them.”

“All of them?”

“How many friends do you have?”

“Five.”

“Five is good. Oh, and Jonathan told me you were not getting an allowance from your mother. He thinks that for helping around here you should get something. Would thirty-five dollars a week be okay?”

“For me, all of my own?”

“All for you. You have been here ten weeks so here is a check for $350 and here is next week’s thirty-five.”

“I’m rich. My friends are going to be so envious. I love living here.”

---

Judy crawled in beside me waking me up at one-thirty the next morning. “I had forgotten how much life fourteen and fifteen-year-olds had. We had a crowd. When Maryann went and got her mother to join us, three of the guests were asked as well. They just raided the kitchen and are still there. Ellen has been with us all evening and for once she looks happy. I suspect this is going to be a regular thing. Maryann is going to have all kinds of friends when the word gets around about the slumber parties at the Rivers’ Lodge on the hill.

“There is one thing I’m a little concerned about. Maryann asked if it was okay for her to kiss you for being so understanding. She asked me right in front of her friends. I saw gleams in several eyes, so be aware. There were even a couple of guests that might get in on it as well.”

“Judy, there is only one person I want to kiss. That is you. I hope we have moved Maryann out of her dark period. As far as Pete and her, I heard him ask Maryann if she would go to the movies with him. She asked him in return if her friends could go with them as a group. The word will get around that he is a safe, fun person to go somewhere with. Some girl older than these friends of Maryann’s will decide to take a shine to him. That at least will keep anything from developing between him and Maryann here at the lodge.”

“That is what we set out to accomplish isn’t it.”

“Yes. We have been close to other people’s kids for a couple of years. There will be more of them over time and then in twelve or fourteen years, we will have to go through this with Johnny and little Brenda. Are you up for it?”

“I am. You know after I get these two weaned, we could arrange to have one more. You worry about being too old, but tell me now, don’t kids keep you feeling young?”

“They do. Maybe if we plan to have one more, we had better start practicing.”

“You didn’t notice I took my PJ bottoms off before coming to bed? You are getting old.”

“I noticed. Come here my love.”

Epilogue

Brenda’s share of the business would have normally been inherited by Pat, but he suggested it be held in trust for Pete, Peggy, and little Brenda. He gave up his apartment in town. Pat now rents the large bedroom in the attic next to Ellen and Maryann. This was Judy’s idea. She mentioned that as long as he had three children living here he should be close to them. “Judy, you aren’t trying to play cupid are you?”

“Well Maryann did say she wished she was Pete’s sister. Who knows she may have him for a brother after all. Peggy is certainly being a sister to her already. That particular bedroom has fond memories for me. Maybe Pat can find some happiness there the way I did.”

The Rivers’ Lodge is still on the hill and still rents rooms out to guests. Not too many adjustments to the lodge have been made. We did take out the bedroom downstairs in the old section of the main house. This was so our guests could collect and converse in a larger, more convivial atmosphere. We also purchased a piano. There is always a guest living here who tickles the keys. It can be heard and enjoyed often. Seldom is there less than enough instruments among the guests to make a three-piece ensemble. Sometimes there are six or more players to make up a band.

Peggy is coming home as a full-fledged chef and will have full control over the menu. She was featured on a national television show and offered employment to manage the kitchen in a chain hotel, but turned it down. “My family is too important to me. I have a sister who is named for my Mom and I want to be with her as she grows up.”

At one time, the inhabitants who lived at the Rivers’ Lodge on the hill each had their own agenda. There has emerged a joyful assemblage of inhabitants from the mire of disappointment, unhappiness, and sadness. Now all have found joy in thinking of others before themselves. The characters will live on, but this story will not.

The End