Sing Me a Sad Song

Sing Me a Sad Song

happyhugo

Copyright 05/21/12

Romance, Tears

27,102  words

Readers score  8.28

Ed's family goes to Japan and are caught in the
Tsunami  of 3/11/12. This sends Ed into depression
and he plans on eventually taking himself out. While
traveling aimlessly, he meets a widow and her two children.
They support each other allowing the two to find happiness.
Note: There were still 3,700 people missing on the 1st
year anniversary of the disaster.

Chapter One

I dropped off the bus in a fair-sized town in one of the states on the east coast at seven in the morning ... Georgia, I think. I didn't really know or care. I had been riding it for six and a half hours. I could catch the next bus or the one a week from now. I stood on the sidewalk with a duffle bag and a satchel. This was all I owned in the world. What was I doing here? Was I running away from the sadness and despair that had settled on me? I was.

The station itself wasn't much more than a waiting room with a man behind the desk. There was a diner three doors down from there. I headed for that. When I entered, I could see that it was almost empty. I headed for the back wall where there were four booths lined up. I picked the one second from the end on the right.

Swinging the duffle bag up onto the seat, and taking my satchel in my hand, I sat across from the bag, keeping the satchel next to me. There was a menu standing between the sugar and the ketchup bottle. I glanced at it. The lone waitress came over and stood waiting. I guess she had been on duty all night, for she looked tired.

I glanced up and mumbled, “Coffee, black.” She went away, making her way behind the counter. She came back with a single cup.

“End of pot. Fresh will be done in five.”

“That’s okay, I’ll drink it. Bring me a cheese omelet. Onions and something green in it. Three eggs, two toast, twelve grain if possible.”

“Is broccoli okay?”

“Good.” I sat with my hands around my cup, letting my mind go blank. Someone put money in the jukebox. Charlie Louvin came on and “I Think I’ll Go Somewhere and Cry Myself to Sleep,” blared. I didn't sleep, but I couldn't keep the tears back. Willie was on next with his “Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain.” The music went silent and I dried my tears before my breakfast was set before me.

Patrons were coming and going, but I wasn’t disturbed. The short order cook worked on automatic, never saying a word, just making up the orders and sliding them out, hitting a bell as he did so.

I ate slowly. My coffee cup was replenished. I paid my tab, but kept my cup. I gave the waitress a thirty percent tip, which must have made her day for I received a smile. I dozed in the corner of the booth. It was eight when a woman came in with two children, a girl and a boy, and I guessed not yet of teen age. She took change out of the register and admonished them to buy something nutritious for lunch at school.

This was the owner and these were her kids. You could tell they were family as they all had auburn hair. Her hair was a little lighter and the boy’s was the darkest. I figured she was in her thirties somewhere. I didn’t think on it, just cataloging a few facts. I wasn't interested and returned to staring into my half-empty coffee cup.

Just then, a man shuffled in, going into the kitchen. He was definitely drunk and immediately dropped and broke two dishes. “Pete, I warned you that the next time you came in drunk I was going to fire you. It 's costing more to have you here than you are worth.”

“I know, Miz Campbell. Sorry.” He asked hopefully, “Can you spot me enough for a bottle?”

“I guess so. You were once a good man and I’ll miss having you around.”

I could see she handed him a five. That would be enough for cheap wine. He shuffled out and she stood looking after him. I swear there were tears in her eyes. She turned and went in and started scraping the night’s dishes.

Making a decision, I stuck my head into the kitchen. “Do you need a dish washer?”

She turned around slowly. “I do.” She looked me up and down. My clothes were rumpled from riding the bus, but I was clean, although I needed a shave. I had on jeans and a knit sweater. I towered over her since I was six feet. “Do you drink?”

“Social sometimes, that’s all.”

“You get minimum and two meals unless you wash after the evening meals, then you get three. If you're here for all three, you have to take off during our slow hours. I can't pay overtime. What’s your name?”

“It is Ed Rawlings. I guess you will want to know my social security number. It is 009 -- ----. Also, I don’t have an address. I have no record, and I’m honest.”

She took me at my word. “Okay, you’re hired. When can you start?”

“Twenty minutes ago. I think you are doing my dishes and it’s my job.” Twenty-five years ago, I had worked in a diner much like this one to earn money while in school. I knew the drill and it all came back. I could even handle the grill if need be. I found an apron and put that on. I didn't have many clothes and I wanted to keep looking decent. The short order cook left at nine. Miz Campbell waited table now and cooked when anyone came in which was seldom.

It was ten-thirty when a man in a suit came in with a briefcase. I heard her say to herself, “Oh crap! Here comes Landgrove.” My boss put on a brave face and led him to the corner booth next to where I had been sitting and where my stuff still reclined. I soon gathered this was the person who leased the diner to her. He wanted his rent. It became apparent she had some of it, but not all.

When I heard figures, I sauntered out and got my satchel. Coming back and out of sight, I took some money from it and put it under the change drawer in the register. This was out of sight of the two in corner arguing. He was swearing at her. Reluctantly she came, got her handbag, and headed back to face him. I guessed she was about $600 short.

She stopped when I spoke. “Ms. Campbell, you had a lot of customers last night, give him what is in the till. It will help.” Not thinking she went over and opened the register. I had stacked $1500 in $50 bills in one corner. She grabbed the bundle and headed back. She started counting the money as she went.

Suddenly she whirled and faced me. I stated, “The money is good. I told you I was honest. I overheard he was going to shut you down if you didn’t pay. I just love doing dishes. I’m just protecting my job.” I grinned, which is something I hadn't been doing much of in the recent past.

Just then, we heard, “Come on Campbell, my time is valuable. Do you have the rent money or not?” There was no respect there at all. I was taking a distinct dislike to this person. Miz Campbell counted out his money, and he barked she'd better have it on time next month. My boss had to remind him that she needed a receipt. The receipt was made out and he handed it to her reluctantly. He then stomped out of the diner.

“We have to talk.”

“Can’t now. We have to get lunch ready. Mostly soup and sandwiches, right?”

“Yes. Some salads of course, and the usual burgers and fries.”

“Okay, show me how I can help.”

“My cook and his helper will be here in a few minutes. I have another waitress to help me serve.” She asked, “Who are you anyway?”

“I could be a distant cousin.”

“You could be, but you aren’t.”

“Your husband’s cousin then.”

Suddenly there were tears in her eyes. “Me and the kids were all the family he had. He was an orphan and has been dead a year.” This brought tears to my eyes as well.

“I feel for you. My wife and kids died nine months ago.” I whirled and went into the kitchen. Just then, an older man came in the back door and there was a short fat woman with him.

I took it was the cook and his helper. He walked by me and said to my boss, “Hi Thea, I see you've finally got rid of Pete. I was hoping you would or we wouldn't have enough dishes left to serve dinner.”

“I had to, he broke two dishes before he did anything at all this morning. Oh, I hired my husband’s cousin to help. He just found out Tim has died and came to tell me what he remembered of him while they were growing up. His name is Ed and so he tells me, he stays sober.”

“I should hope so.”

Thea did have a good team to do lunch. I signaled her for a private minute before it was time to start dinner. “I have to go find some place to stay.”

“I have an extra room. You can meet my children tonight and we do have to talk. The room is in the back part of the house. We sleep upstairs.”

“You’re very trusting.”

“I can trust anyone who saves my business the way you have.”

“Okay, and I promise I won’t abuse your trust. I heard your cook call you Thea, is that your name?”

“It is actually Theadora, but I don’t use it much.”

“I like it. It is Greek and means God’s gift.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“It is a fact.” Just then, Thea’s two children came in.

“Hi Mom.” This was the girl speaking.

The boy just said. “Hi.”

“Kids, I want you to meet Ed. He is a distant cousin of your father’s. Ed this Nancy. She is twelve and this is Matt, he is almost eleven. Ed is washing dishes for me. I had to let Pete go. He came in drunk again.” Both said hi to me. I had to turn away as Nancy reminded me of my own daughter I had lost. “Ed will be staying with us for awhile.”

Thea turned to me, saying, “I’ll take the kids home and I have to be back to wait table. I work until eight. You can leave with me. That is if you want to wash the dinner dishes.”

“I do. Who does them during the night?”

“The cook loads the dishwasher and leaves the heavy stuff for you in the morning.”

“That sounds good.” As she left, she told the cook to feed me anything I wanted for dinner.

I kept to myself, never initiating a conversation. The heavyset cook’s helper tried to flirt with me, but I paid no attention. I ate dinner before Thea returned. The diner was very busy and I wondered why Thea had trouble paying her rent. I probably would find out later this evening. My boss was well liked, made jokes and spoke to many of her patrons by their first names. As the dinner hour wound down, I was caught up, so I went out and wrecked the tables for the waitresses.

Thea took off her apron and said we were done. I followed her out to her car, which was a small Ford Escort. I had no idea what year it was, but it wasn't new. We went about a mile and turned into a side street, New Hope Avenue.

We didn't go far when she wheeled into a driveway on the right. “This is home. In daylight, you can see some fields behind the house. When Tim and I bought here, we were supposed to be part of a larger housing development. Then the farmer got stubborn when the developer wouldn't pay what he asked. The farmer sold it with a clause barring development to a group that promised to keep it open.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Okay, I guess. We are allowed to walk and bike on the land, but it is growing up to brush in much of the field. They just mow it over when the brush gets too high. That will have to happen this summer or it'll be too big. No residences can be built, though. It was nice when there used to be cattle on it. That is progress, I guess. It makes a person wonder if it is, though.”

The house we pulled into was not large. I could see room for three bedrooms upstairs, but they had to be small. There was a two-car garage at the end of the drive and a covered walk from that to the house. Thea drove right into the garage and we went from there to the kitchen. I lugged in my duffle bag and Thea carried my satchel. There was what looked like a safe in the corner. She went over and opened it to put in what she had removed from the cash register at the diner. This was the day’s take.

She kept out the remainder of my $1,500 laying it on the table. I asked, “Can you lock the safe?”

“Yes. Tim bought it from a business that was going broke.”

“Would you put what is in the satchel in there if there is room?”

“Okay.” Thea set it down on the table and opened it. She jumped back, throwing it from her when she looked into it. “Oh, my God, it's full of money!”

This made me laugh. I think she thought I was a crook, bank robber, or drug dealer or something. “I told you before that I am honest. That's from the sale of my home. I took it in cash. Sometime I'll tell you why. Please put it away.”

“No, I won’t touch it. You do it.”

“Okay, if you insist. The fifties on the table, you keep to pay for my room here. Tell me when it runs out. That is if I am here that long. If I’m not, keep it anyway.”

“We have to talk. I said that before and I mean it this time.”

“Probably we should. What about Nancy and Matt, where are they?”

“They will be here in a few minutes. My sister sends them over when she sees me come home. She lives diagonally across the street and feeds them their dinner. Hurry and put your money away.” There was room for the stacks of banded bills. I removed her till box that had a few bills and some rolls of change in it. I sat this on top of my money. Thea closed the door with a clunk and turned the knob. She went and wrote down the combination and handed it to me.

“You better have this. I trust you not to steal the little I have from me.” Then she looked at me and giggled. Suddenly tears came from my eyes and I was sobbing.

“Ed, what's the matter? What did I do?”

“Nothing. It is just that my wife used to look at me like that. Sorry, I’ll be okay in a minute.” I heard the kids coming, so I walked into the next room to compose myself. She must think I was crazy and a basket case. Maybe I was crazy, but didn’t I have the right to be?

I heard Nancy ask, “Is Ed here?”

“Yes he is. He is in the living room. Give him a few minutes. Have you kids done your lessons yet?”

“Most of them, Mom.”

“Get your books out and do them. You know the rules.”

Matt said, “But Mom there isn't any school tomorrow. It’s Saturday.”

“I know, but you always wait until Sunday. This way they'll all be done and you can do something else.”

“Okay, if I have to.” I smiled, as this was typical behavior for a ten-year-old.

I stood in the doorway while Matt opened his book. I could see it was a math lesson. I came up behind him and looked over his shoulder. He did the first problem correctly, but the second one had him stumped. “Mom, help me?

I took over, and read the lesson. “A car is traveling forty miles an hour and he is on the road for two hours and twenty minutes. How far does it go? You can figure it out Matt. Think.”

“I have no idea.”

I laughed. “That is why I said, think. You have to multiply and divide with this problem. Add too. Okay, pull it apart and look at it to find the facts you know. One hour equals forty miles. Two hours you double it and get another forty miles. We are now up to eighty miles. Now we have to find out how far the car goes in twenty minutes. Can you figure it out?”

“Three miles?”

“Do you know what apples and oranges mean?”

“Yes, it means different and you can’t add them together.”

“Right. So find something you can add or is the same.”

“But that is where I got the three miles.” I cocked my head indicating he was not on the right track. “But twenty minutes go into one hour three times. It has to be right.”

“How far does the car go in one hour?”

“Forty miles.” He stared at the figures. Then he grinned. “Divide the forty miles by three just like you did the hour.” Matt scribbled just as fast as he could. “It is thirteen and one third miles. The car goes a total of ninety three and one third miles.”

“You figured it out. Good job.” Nancy was finishing her lesson. Matt went on to the last eight of his problems and breezed right through them.

“Okay kids, showers and then to bed.”

Matt looked up at me and said, “You’re better than Mom and she was a school teacher, or she used to be before Daddy died.”

“We just have different ways of teaching that's all. I taught math in school a while back.”

“Anyway, thanks Ed. Are you going to live here?”

“I don’t know. I’m going to talk to your Mom later.”

“I hope you do. I have to go take a shower. I don’t know why, I took one last night. See you.”

“See you, son.” Thea had her eyes on me all evening. She should. I would have done the same if I had invited a stranger into my home. A weird acting stranger I might add.

“Would you like a beer?”

“No, I don’t think so. You wanted to question me about my actions?”

“Yes, you said you had lost your wife and children. Tell me about it.”

“Okay, but if I break up, forgive me for I’m still not handling it very well.” I paused for this was going to be painful for me. “I married a girl I met in college. Her name was Amaya. She was of Japanese descent. She became a school teacher, as did I. We taught three years and then we started a family. We first had a daughter, Chieko. We called her Chicky. Two years later a boy was born, Ichirou, and we called him Itchy. Amaya stayed home and took care of us all until Itchy went into first grade, then she went back to teaching.”

“Where did you live?”

“California, just outside of San Francisco. A year ago, this coming March, my in-laws went on a trip to Japan. Amaya had never been to the country of her ancestors. Her parents were always talking about them, where they lived, and where they died. They wanted to take us all and at first, I agreed. Then I was being hassled by the school administration about wanting time off during the school year.

“Amaya said she and the family would go now and later on in the summer, she and I would both go and follow the same path. I'd see the same things she and the kids had seen and learned. They boarded a plane March 1, which was a Tuesday. Before the plane had risen and disappeared from sight, I felt I should have been with them. I wished I had been.” Tears started now, but I still had myself somewhat under control.

“I don’t understand. Did the plane crash?”

“No, they reached Japan and had a fine time. The kids were excited and they called and talked to me on the first weekend, telling about all of the things they were seeing and doing. They called again on Wednesday and were going to go to Tokyo on Saturday and were to leave for home on Monday.”

By this time, I had to pause, but I shook it off and continued. “I was watching the news Friday night, sitting down enjoying a beer. The first pictures of the Tsunami came on. I knew at that moment that I would never see my family again. They had toured the nuclear plant on Tuesday, since this was near the village where their ancestors lived and they were staying. The nuclear plant was one of the sites they were so excited about when we spoke on Wednesday.”

Thea was sitting across the room crying with me at this point. It took several minutes for us to regain our composure. She asked, “What did you do?”

“Nothing, absolutely nothing. I didn't even go back to work to finish last year. Many in my position would have drunk himself into oblivion. I didn't and I don’t know why. My friends would come everyday and force me to eat. Some even got me into the shower when I got too rank.

“By the time school let out last spring, I started to come around enough to take care of myself. I even went to a psychiatrist for three months through the summer. It helped. The first day of school this year, I thought I was ready to face students. I would've had my daughter in my class and I planned to imagine her and would be teaching her, bringing the other students along at the same time.” Again, I broke up.

Thea waited patiently. Finally, I could finish, “Some of her friends were in the class and they missed her too. They made sure there was an empty seat in front center and pasted a large snapshot of her on the front of the desk. I lasted fifteen minutes, turned, and walked out. I haven’t faced another student since then.”

“You have, Ed. You faced Matt tonight.”

I thought about that. “I guess I did didn’t I?” I was calmer now.

“Ed, do you lose it again like the first time when you just heard of their deaths?”

“Not to the extent when I first learned of my family’s deaths. I can function, but I know I'm going to break up at odd times. I have learned to live with it. Some other people haven’t and others think I’m just crazy.”

“Ed, I’m curious. What about all of the money you put in my safe.”

“This is where the crazy part comes in. I sold my home. The money is what I got for it and what savings Amaya and I had.”

“Why did you take cash?”

It took a long time for me to answer. “Thea, there are over 3,700 bodies still missing in Japan. Most likely, none of my family will be found and identified. After I left the school that day, I decided to commit suicide. I just didn't have the courage at that time. Then I sold my home. My family is gone and my home is gone.

“I put the money in a satchel and started traveling the country by bus. I don't deny myself anything. If I meet someone that needs a little money, they get it just as you did when you needed it for rent. You are the third person I have helped. I am $6,000 closer to my goal. You can't pay it back. That is my only requirement for giving it to you.”

“What are you going to do when your money is all gone?”

“By that time I’ll have courage enough to go hunt for Amaya, Chieko, and Ichirou.”

“What do you mean? How are you going to do that?”

I stared at Thea until she got my meaning. “I’m sorry you lost your family, Ed. I disagree with what your plan is, but I know there isn’t anything I can say to change your mind.” I didn't say anything, knowing she was right. “Come on Ed, I’ll show you where you are sleeping.”

I borrowed some coat hangers and shook the wrinkles out of my spare jeans and the three shirts I had dug from my duffle bag. I hung them in the bathroom while I took my shower. The steam would take care of the remaining wrinkles.

I was up early in the morning. I could not hear anything from upstairs. I saw where Thea had the coffee pot ready to start. I did that, and sat at the kitchen table just waiting for the coffee. I felt a presence. I looked up. Thea was staring at me. “How are you this morning?”

“Fine. I slept well.”

“Have your coffee and I’ll run you to the diner. I’m not working until lunch today.”

“Don’t bother, I’ll walk. I used to walk a lot and did run some. I ran in half marathons a few times just for the fun of it.”

“Okay, I’ll have coffee with you and get dressed later.”

I looked at Thea. She had on a dressing gown with a robe over it. Her red hair was tousled from sleep and her blue eyes sparkled this morning. My glance took in her figure from habit I suppose, going back to a happier time. I noted it was much fuller than Amaya’s had been. Amaya had been petite with a very slim figure. Tears sprang to my eyes when that thought came to mind. Luckily, Thea was getting cups for the coffee and did not notice.

It was cold out. December in Georgia could get that way. I was not dressed that warmly. Thea noticed, “I have a heavier jacket than your sweater that was Tim’s. I think it will fit you. Wear that please.” I nodded my head that I would.

I would guess Friday night was busy at the diner. There were dirty dishes all over the kitchen this morning. It did not take long to right things up and then I went about helping the one waitress do the tables and make sure they were ready for the next customer. “My God, Ed where have you been all of my life? No one has ever helped me like this before.”

“I just like to keep busy. I have thoughts and they are not happy ones. If I am busy, I don’t have to think.”

At eight forty-five, I saw the short order cook on the phone. He slammed it down, saying, “Thea wants me to stay until eleven when she comes in. I wanted to get my haircut, but I hated to refuse her. Damn!”

“How come?”

“Oh, I said I would when she asked me last week, but I forgot.”

“How many customers do you have on a Saturday morning in that time?”

“Two and possibly as many as a dozen.”

“Take off, I can handle it. I’ll make it right with Thea.”

“You are sure?”

“Positive.”

“Okay, I’m gone.” I was actually busier than he said, but I handled it.

Thea was pissed that he had left me alone. “Thea, think about it, with the customers I had and the profit that was brought in, you just about broke even. If you had to pay the cook, you would have had the same customers and been $20 in the hole from paying the higher wages.”

“You get paid the $20 then.”

“Nope, don’t upset my agenda. Besides I have a whole safe full of money.”

“We are going to have to talk again if you keep doing things like this. You worked your butt off, I can tell.”

“How can you tell?”

“Look around the diner. It is gleaming. I know the night waitress didn't do it. She is adequate, but doesn’t exert herself.” At lunch time, the cook came in and the rest of the lunch crew were right behind him. Thea shook her head and went to work.

Thea sent me home at two-thirty telling me to rest because it would be nine before she closed the diner tonight, it being Saturday. I would need to be back a little before six. I drove her car.

I didn’t get a chance to rest as Nancy and Matt saw me drive in and came running over from their aunt’s house. “Ed, Aunt Mary wants to meet you. Can you come over to see her?”

“Sure I can.”

I went across the street and met a woman that was definitely a sister of Thea’s. They had the same eyes and the same color of hair. She was about the same size as well. Acting protective of her sister, she immediately started to question me. She asked where I was from. She danced around asking what my intentions were toward her sister. Well not directly, but her less than subtle questions were easy to read.

“I’m traveling around the United States by bus seeing the country. I don't intend to get close to your sister. She appears to be a nice woman and I stopped long enough to give her a hand. For now, I am renting a room she generously offered. I was a schoolteacher at one time. That’s it, I guess.”

“You don’t have a family?”

“No.” I had said all I was going to and Mary sensed it. “I’m going back to my room and lay down for awhile. I am washing dishes tonight. I’m pleased to meet you.” I turned and went out. Matt followed me for a few steps.

“Ed can we toss a ball tomorrow if it isn’t too cold?”

“Sure. Why not right now? I have a few minutes.”

“Cool.” He went running on ahead of me to get his ball and glove. I missed Itchy more right now than I had since he and my family boarded the plane for Japan.

“Do you play little league?”

“I was hoping to next summer, but Dad was always pretty busy so I don’t know much about baseball.”

“We’ll have to get you going this winter. Maybe I can teach you how to throw hard and accurately.”

“That would be great if you could, Ed.” We were still tossing the ball when it was time for me to return to the diner.

Thea had the cook give me my dinner before I started on the dishes. The dinnerware was no problem for the dishes went into the washer. It was the pots, pans, kettles and utensils that had to be washed by hand. The jukebox had a speaker in the kitchen and that helped me concentrate on what I was doing. Moe Bandy had several songs on the box. Cal Smith had a couple. It was being continually being played, as the diner was busy. Hank Williams was on often. He was still a favorite after so many years.

“The Hills of Roan County,” sung by the Stanley Brothers was one of my recent favorites. It was a long song and never seemed to finish. I broke up when George Jones sang, “The Wreck on the Highway.”

If I had a minute, I helped Thea and the other waitress out in the dining room. If the jukebox was not on, I fed it myself. Finally, Thea had a respite, came into the kitchen, and sat down on a chair in the corner. I knew she was watching me.

She spoke, “Do you do everything so well?”

“No, not always, but I find that it is easier to do a good job first and not have to do it over again.”

“How does a person do that?”

“I trained how to do it in a motion study one time. I take just a minute to observe what has to be done, imagine what the result is that I want, and think about how to do it. It doesn’t take long, but it does take some practice.”

Thea changed the subject. “Mary called and talked to me. She said you played ball with Matt.”

“I did. He asked me to.”

“That was good of you. Matt is neglected. Tim ran the diner here and didn’t always have time for him.”

“Your husband had the diner for how long?”

“Ever since we were married. When he died, I took over. I had helped him some when necessary, but then I had to learn to do it and fast. It pays more than I was making teaching school. One salary is not enough, though. The hours are longer and I am in the same boat as Tim was, not being able to be with my kids as much as I would like. I don’t know what I would do without my sister.”

“Do you like it?”

“I wish you hadn’t asked that. No, I don't really, but I have to keep at it to keep my head above water. The house is mortgaged and the lease on the business comes due every month.”

“What would you do if you sold it?”

“I’ve thought about selling, but honestly there isn’t that much. The man who I lease from has made me an offer, but he wants me along with the business. He harasses me, then he sweet-talks me. I don’t trust him at all.”

“Smart move.” The cook cleaned his grill and left. Soon it was just Thea and I. "Anything left to do tonight?”

“I should clean the grease trap, but I guess I’ll put it off until tomorrow sometime. Maybe after church.”

“You go to church?”

“Yes, I’m a good Catholic and I want Nancy and Matt to be too. How about you?”

“I used to go to church but haven’t for awhile. Guess I have lost faith. I feel God dumped me when he took my family.”

Thea was quiet for a moment and did not say anything. Then Thea said, “You know I look at things differently than you. God took my husband and I felt like you. Then I remembered that I am just a human. Tim dying was our agenda. God is over us all, so it had to be it was his agenda and not ours. It is taught that God has a plan. My family and I may have been just collateral damage in God’s plan. I don't know, but I do have faith that he will make it right. Maybe not in this life, but at some later time.”

“You have a stronger faith than I do. Where is the grease trap you were talking about that needs cleaning? I'll do it now. Why don’t you go along home? I will do it and walk home. The kids will want to see you before they go to bed.”

“Aren’t you too tired?”

“Tired, yes, but not enough to sleep yet. Go along.”

The next morning, Thea and the kids got ready for church while I got my own breakfast. They were going to the 8 o’clock mass. Aunt Mary went with them. I had learned that Mary was divorced and the settlement had been such she did not have to work and lived okay if she was careful. She had put herself in charge of Thea’s kids for the time being until her sister’s life changed, if ever. I thought Mary might be a couple of years older than Thea.

I sat over my coffee. My thoughts turned to my missing wife and children. Somehow, I did not feel like crying this morning. I had the feeling all were together even in death. This was something that had bothered me almost as much as the loss of them. What if they saw the rushing wave of water coming down on them and they were torn apart from each other? I could not bear the thought. Of course, I would never know, but the thought that they could be together was something to hold in my mind.

It was sunny and cold. I might just walk around the empty field this afternoon. Maybe I should do my laundry while Thea was at church. The washer was in the cellar. I picked up my clothes. When I got to the washing machine, I saw Thea had sorted the clothes, and the heavy things were in the washer ready to do. I threw mine in and started it. My underwear went on the pile of whites.

I had time to start a dinner before church let out. On my way to work, I had passed a grocery store. I bought a roasting chicken and some vegetables. Thinking pie, I bought five boxes of frozen strawberries and a couple boxes of crusts. I got the chicken ready, but it would not take this long to cook, so I set it aside.

I mixed and rolled out the two boxes of crust and split it into two pieces. I put it on a sheet pan. I then thawed two boxes of the strawberries. I sweetened, thickened them with cornstarch, cooked it, and spread it over the bottom crust about three eights of an inch thick. I used the rest of the crust to cover it and slid it into the oven. Twenty-three minutes later, I had a golden, flaky pan of fruit squares ready to cut. The other three boxes of berries I left out on the counter. I went in and watched the news on television.

I heard Thea come in. She came charging into the living room. “I see you have chicken ready for the oven.”

“Yes. It can go in anytime now. The wash needs switching over. Would you like to have me do it?”

“What’s left?”

“Underwear and whites. My skivvies are in the pile.”

“I’ll do it. I see you have been baking. How come there are more strawberries thawing?”

“The strawberries are for smoothies. I thought we would have a strawberry day.”

“I don’t have a blender. I’ll call Mary.”

“Fine. Where are the kids?”

“At Mary’s. I will have Nancy bring it over. The chicken is big enough so I can invite Mary if it is okay with you.’”

“Okay with me.” She turned to go back to the kitchen. “Thea, why did you ask me if Mary could come for dinner?”

“No reason really I guess, but I would have asked Tim.” She looked at me. Maybe she was herself puzzled by doing something that put her back into the past. This time when she turned away, she did go to the kitchen.

I followed her. “Thea, I’m following a plan I set for myself you know. Please don’t do anything that will bring heartbreak to you.”

“I know, but give me the latitude to change your plan if I can.” I shrugged feeling I hated the thought of her being unhappy. Should I leave now? No, maybe I would stay another week.

The dinner came out as well as I hoped it would. The smoothie was a big hit. I put the strawberries into the blender, some vanilla instant pudding, sugar, and filled it up with whole milk The berries were only partially thawed. I blended it and poured it into cereal bowls and we ate it with a spoon. When our throat froze from the cold, we nibbled on a strawberry square. It was quite the dessert.

After dinner, I wanted to walk in the field. Matt took his bicycle and Nancy walked with me. The paths were wide enough so we could walk side by side. We were almost to the far side, when I heard some sobs from Nancy. She explained. “My Dad and I came here sometimes. Not often because he was so busy, when he did, he would hold my hand and walk with me. Ed, would you do that for me?” Nancy calmed down and we resumed.

Matt would ride ahead and then come speeding back. When he came up to us as we neared the far side, he asked me if I could sing. I said I did sometimes.

“A long time ago Daddy didn’t have any money for presents for Nancy and me. He brought us out here and sang us a song. It was called “If We Make it through December.” He sang it to stop us begging Mom for toys. That was the only year we didn't have any presents, but he would always sing it to us in December. Do you know it?”

“If it is the one by Merle Haggard, I do. Would you like for me to sing it?”

“Would you?”

We sat down on the stone wall that was near and I sang the song. These two kids started crying. When I finished, they clung to each other and walked back home ahead of me toward the house. They were hand in hand and I pushed the bike. I knew they were missing their father. I had a family I was missing too. There is sadness in everyone’s life for young and old alike.

As we approached the house, the kids stopped and faced me. “Daddy didn’t make it through December last year. He died two days before New Years.” They whirled and ran into the house. Thea was down cellar washing and Mary had gone home. What would either one have said if they saw Nancy and Matt come home crying like this?

When Thea came upstairs, she said, “I put some of the clothes that I still had of Tim’s in your closet. That reminds me. The kids are in the school Christmas exercises next week. They want you to attend. Will you?”

I studied Thea to see if this was all she had in mind or was she still trying to change my agenda. “Thea, don’t try so hard to change me. Yes. I'll go with the kids. I'll explain a little more about what my plans are. I figured I had enough money to last seven years. One year is almost gone. My family has not been declared dead yet, so I will be around for a while. I didn’t intend to stay very long in one place at a time, but I do like Matt and Nancy.”

“Fair enough. You seem to be too good a person to follow your plan, but I will back off for now.” She smiled at me and headed back down cellar. I went down to my room. The closet had three garment bags holding men's wear. The drawer in the bureau held shirts and work clothes. I guess it was time I bought underwear for myself. I might just stay awhile. These clothes weren't mine. I could walk away if the situation dictated, but for now I would be well dressed.

Matt and Nancy were both in the Christmas exercises. Matt was in a chorus group. He would do okay with that. I asked Nancy what she was doing. There was a scared look on her face. Matt laughed. “Sis volunteered to sing a song all by herself. She is horrible.”

“What's the song?”

“It is Ave Maria and I love it. I guess I wasn’t thinking when I said I wanted to sing it. I’ll just have to get sick that day.”

“I used to sing it. Maybe I can help.”

Nancy looked up, filling in another fact that I did not know. “I promised to sing it a cappella.”

“Okay, we had better get started on this. I promise I won’t let you bomb.” It was going to take a lot of work. Over the next few days, Matt would come into where we were practicing and cover his ears or stick his finger down his throat, pretending to barf. That was the first week. We had four more days to go. Nancy was trying and Matt knew it. Now when she sang he would pump his fist. Every minute that we were home together, she would want me to direct her.

It was the night before the last day of school and classes. We worked hard on the song, polishing it. “Hey kid, that was fabulous. One more time through and you are ready for tomorrow.”

There were chairs in the gym for the parents to sit on. All were full. Mary, Thea, and I sat fairly close to the raised stage on the left. There were bleachers on the right for the choral group singing. Each class had their own exercises. When Matt’s group sang, there was the usual pushing and shoving, typical of children of his age.

Nancy’s class sang two Christmas songs and then they went to the back of the stage, leaving Nancy alone. She found the pitch and then she sang! All movement in the gym ceased. Nancy’s voice soared and rose to the ceiling. It was youthful and a little thin, but she nailed it. When she finished, no one moved. She looked scared and then there was applause! She smiled, looking directly at us.

“Thanks Ed, we did it.” I guess you can say I was as proud of Nancy as I had ever been of anyone. When the next class came onto the stage, Nancy was able to find a seat between Thea and me. She grabbed my arm and hugged it to her. Mary looked a little jealous, and maybe Thea did as well but they were smiling.

I whispered, “Nancy, the next break I have to go to work. Before I go, I want you to know I am so proud of you. I have never had a student work as hard for something as you have. Hard work pays off and you are a perfect example of it.”

Suddenly she reached up and pulled my face down to kiss me on the cheek. “Thank you. Nancy, I appreciate that more than I can say.” I made my way down the row and left before I broke up.

Thea came into the diner and right up to me. “Why did you leave so early?”

“Thea, what would your friends and the other parents say if you were sitting next to an unfamiliar man who had tears streaming down his face? I thought it best I get out of there. You know my situation. Cut me some slack, please.”

“Okay, but don’t you dare break my kids’ hearts. If you do, I’ll pray that you go straight to hell.” She whirled away and then came back. “Ed, I didn’t mean that. I know what you are going through. Thank you so much for taking the time to teach Nancy, Ave Maria.”

“I had a lot to work with. She really did work hard. I was just there to guide her.”

“I think you are one hell of a teacher anyway.”

Chapter Two

Christmas morning I heard Matt and Nancy get up early to see what was in their stocking. Thea had filled them with candy and little things. These presents did not mean much, but they were welcomed just to keep the tradition alive. Mary came in for breakfast and we sat in the living room to open the presents that were under a little tree.

The first present Mat passed out was one for me. It was a pair of comfortable shoes. I was so pleased, as mine were worn out. I had put a hundred dollar bill into each of four envelopes, which I put on one limb of the tree. Matt reached up for the envelopes and then changed his mind. He was saving those for last.

Finally, the tree was bare except for the envelopes. Matt passed them around and sat down to open his own. Money had been short for this family. Mary had enough, but she was not able to work because she was keeping her sister’s family together and happy by helping as much as she did. When the money was exposed I said, “This money is to be used for something personal that you have hoped for, but couldn’t afford. Matt, think of all the chocolate bars on which you can pig out.

“I have one more present for each of you. This is just for the friendship you all have shown me. Matt there is a box under the Christmas tree apron that you missed. Would you hand it to me please?” It was a box about eight inches long, three inches wide, and three quarters of an inch thick. Matt handed to me.

“As you know, I have lost my family. For the last three weeks, I have been included in this one. Warmly welcomed, I must add. I have here what one friend would give to another.” I took the cover off the box and picked out of it a smaller one. Matt, this is to remember me by. You won’t have much use for it for a few years, but I hope someday when you have occasion to wear it, you will think of the man who gave it to you.”

I handed it to him. It was a tie-tac. He did not know what it was. “When you get dressed up someday this will hold your tie from flopping around. See, it goes through the tie and the little chain goes into a buttonhole. The stone in the middle of the Silver Star is a garnet gemstone. You were born in January and that is the birthstone for January.” This was something that was too old for a child, but I hoped he would at some point treasure it.

“Matt, your mother’s birthday is in the same month as yours. So she gets something much like I gave you.” I handed Thea a long box. It was a garnet pendant on a very fine gold chain. Thea’s face flushed. She knew this was a nice piece of jewelry.

“Ed, it is beautiful. I have never had a stone for my birthday before. Thank you very much.” I next took another small box from the larger one.

I handed this to Mary. “Mary, I found out you were born in June. At least that is what Nancy tells me.”

“That is true.” I handed Mary the box. She opened it to find a silver ring with a solitary pearl. It was the finest one I could find. “My God, it is so beautiful! It fits too. Thank you so much.”

I laughed. “I was going to suggest that you have the ring sized, but if it fits then we are both in luck.”

I had to finish this and I knew what I was going to try to say. The box held something similar to what I had given Thea. “Nancy, I had a daughter and her birthday was in April, the same month as yours. I bought this to give to her on her sixteenth birthday. In March, she had a chance to visit Japan. She has not come home and from all indication, she never will.

“You are much like her. I was proud of her and I am proud of you. This is for you and I will ask of you the same as I just told Matt. When you get a chance to wear it you will think of the person who gave it to you. Maybe you will send up a little prayer for the girl it was originally meant.

“It sparkles like a diamond. Is it?”

“Yes, it is a diamond.” I stood and turned to go to my room. “Ed, you need a hug and I need one too.” Nancy hugged me as tight as she could. Thea and Mary followed with the same.

Matt did not know what to do. I laughed. “I’ll settle for a high five if you will.” This made everyone laugh.

The joy lasted through dinner and then I got to thinking about my lost family and retired to my room. I lay down, but could not sleep. The door opened and I felt someone lie down beside me. I was facing away from the door so I did not see who it was.

“You are thinking about your family and being with them last Christmas, aren’t you? Do you mind if I lie here with you for a little bit? I had Tim for Christmas, but he was gone by New Years. I am dreading the anniversary of his death in the coming week. I can handle it, but I feel so sad for the kids. Ed, you have helped us all by being here. I just wanted to let you know.”

I felt her hand on my shoulder and I was comforted. I dozed off. When I awoke some time later, Thea had shifted and snuggled up to me. She needed the contact and closeness that had been lacking in her life lately, I guess. I needed the same, but it was Amaya that I longed for, not Thea.

I stayed for a while and then decided that I would walk off dinner. I eased away from Thea and slid out of bed. Mary was asleep on the couch and the two kids must have gone upstairs for a nap since I didn't see them. It was cold and misty and although we were fifteen miles from the sea, you could smell it. I dressed warmly and headed out across the field. I was halfway across the lot when I got off the path. I made my way through the brush and came up on a makeshift shelter. It was a bright tarp strung about three feet off the ground.

I was quiet. I didn’t think there would be anyone in it, but did want to investigate. I then heard voices. It was Nancy and Matt talking. I could hear my name mentioned, but that was all. Before I got too close, I spoke. “Hey kids, I went for a walk and got lost. You can show me how to get back home.”

Both heads popped out of the makeshift tent. “Hi Ed. Nancy and I come out here sometimes when we want to remember our Dad. You, Mom and Aunt Mary were sleeping, so we bugged out. Crawl in under the tarp. The ground is dry.”

“Okay.” I crawled between the two kids. They were in a couple of sleeping bags and there was a blanket under them. “Pretty neat hiding place.”

“Yeah, it was Nancy’s idea last summer. Mom was going to throw away the sleeping bags and we got the blanket from a neighbor who put it out for trash pickup. We had another, but it got wet and moldy.”

Nancy asked, “Ed, you’re going to stay with us aren’t you? Matt and I don’t want you to leave.”

“Kids, I don’t know. I have stayed a lot longer than I planned to. I got off the bus for a cup of coffee and was going to get back on it a few hours later. I will promise you this. I won’t leave without talking to both of you before I go and tell you why I have to leave.”

“We will just make you love us so much you can’t leave.”

“Your Mom is doing that already.”

“I know. Hey, I am getting cold. I think we had better go home. I’ll show you how to get out of here so you can find your way back if you want to.”

“Thanks, Matt.” On the way back, I asked the kids to be kind to their mother on the anniversary of their Dad’s death. “I know you two adored him, but your Dad and Mom were together a lot longer than you knew him. She will need to remember everything about him. If you want, we can hang out together more on that day.”

“Okay, unless she wants us with her.”

“Play it by ear then. I know I will want to be alone on an anniversary of my own coming in a few months. I was going by my own feelings and hers could be much different from mine.”

Thea asked, “You guys went for a walk? I wish I had known or I would have gone with you.”

“Matt and I went out and then Ed found us. We walked back together.”

I went to the diner as usual the next morning. I do not think anyone was aware that Thea and I were associated as close as we were. They knew she had rented me a room. She had done this before with someone who worked for her. I usually walked to work and sometimes for the dinner meal as well. She called and said she would not be in until noon, but had called her cook and he would be in early.

It was about ten-thirty when the property owner came in. He didn’t seem too disappointed that Thea was not present. He and the cook sat down in the property owner’s usual seat in the corner booth. They had their heads together. Finally, they got up, toured the dining room, and came into the kitchen where I could hear them discussing something about Thea and not renewing her lease.

They went into the back room where the freezers and stock were located. I heard the cook state, “But she is a widow and needs the income.”

“Maybe I’ll propose to her. That would save her job. I’m well-to-do, and she is always on the verge of going broke. I will marry her and solve all of her problems. I am not particularly happy that she has a couple of brats, but that is her fault not mine. I can ship them off to school somewhere to get rid of them.”

“I don’t know. It seems pretty heartless.”

“Maybe, but you would like to run this diner wouldn’t you?”

“Yes.” He thought a few minutes and then spoke, “Okay, go for it and see how it works. I’m in.”

Thea came to work shortly after the property owner left. The cook was watching her. I think he liked her as his boss, but wanted to run the diner himself. Near the end of lunch, I asked, “Thea, today would you give me a ride home? I’ll walk back for dinner.”

“Sure.” We got into the car.

“Tell me when your lease runs out.”

“Why?”

“I heard your cook and your landlord talking. Your landlord is not renewing your lease. The cook is going to run the diner for him. The landlord is also going to propose marriage. If you marry him, he is planning on shipping Nancy and Matt off to school somewhere far away.”

“That isn’t going to happen. No way!”

“Good. Tonight let us sit down and do some planning. Don’t say anything about knowing this.”

“I wouldn’t. I suspected something like this was coming up, but I was not too worried. With you helping, I’m not worried at all.”

Thea dropped me off at home. The kids were there. “Sorry guys, I’ve got some thinking to do. It concerns your mother and the diner.”

I sat down and listed what Thea’s options were from what information I knew about her. I got out the phone book and looked up a realtor who handled businesses and asked some pointed questions. I was putting facts together, but I needed one more.

I wondered what kind of lease agreement Tim had when he went into business. I took the slip Thea had given me with the safe’s combination and opened it. I found the lease and read it, putting it back when I finished. Thea was going to have to move fast. The landlord was trying to do some things that would cost her a bundle if her ducks were not all in a row.

It was getting late in the day. I made a call in Thea’s name and got an appointment for tomorrow morning. I just hoped she was okay with what I was trying to do for her.

I had a few minutes to sit and think before I had to walk back to work. I thought back to almost four weeks ago when I first arrived. I had shed some of the crushing sadness I had at that time. I still had times when it came back, but I was definitely better. I could even smile on occasion and not feel guilty.

I made it back to work. The cook said as I came in, “Two more minutes and you would have been late. I don’t tolerate tardiness. Thea is too lenient.”

“Sorry.”

On the way home that night I laid out my thoughts about what I had done. “There will be an appraiser coming into the diner to give you an idea of what you own is worth. How much do you own anyway?”

“Everything right down to the toothpicks in the holders. The place was bare when we set up business. What is the rush, anyway?”

“I read your lease. If you do not give a month’s notice that you do not want to renew, you have to pay a daily penalty. This is the twenty-seventh. You have four days to give notice. That means you have to have a letter from your lawyer stating so. Of course, you have to remember your property owner is going to propose. That would put you on easy street.”

“I’d rather be homeless. Don’t you ever, ever mention him in that context again.”

I went to work at my usual time the next morning. Thea came in at the same time I had made an appointment for the appraiser. This was at eight and the night waitress was still on. The short order cook was of course still there and curious.

The appraiser said, “Mrs. Campbell, I’ll give you two prices. One is if everything is sent out to auction. The other is for what you should get if you happen to get a buyer and they want everything left in place.

“I’ll also give you an estimate of the cost to replace everything new. That would be one of your selling points. Just a fact that you can quote.” The appraiser listed everything and its condition. It took him two hours. The waitress dawdled and didn’t go home as soon as she usually skinned out. The short order cook on duty, made no pretense of leaving at the end of his shift. He was going to wait for the main cook to come in at eleven.

Thea went to see an attorney as soon as the appraiser left. The short order cook and the dinner cook had their heads together with the news that Thea had the equipment appraised. The cook got on the phone to the property owner as soon as the short order cook finished.

Landgrove, the property owner, arrived at 2 o’clock as lunch was about finished. He sat at the counter until the corner booth was empty. Thea was carrying a tray of dishes to the kitchen. “Campbell, come here.”

She kept going and ignored him except to say over her shoulder that she was busy. Finally, she took off her apron and taking her handbag, she slid into the booth across from him. He growled, “What’s going on? The cook said you had someone in here looking at the equipment.”

“That’s right. I own everything here from the bare floors to the bare walls. I was finding out what I could get for it at auction.”

“You know, don’t you, that I find you quite attractive. I was thinking of maybe dating you and eventually I was going to propose. You could still run the diner.

“Mr. Landgrove, I’m honored to think you think of me that way, but I think not. I am going back to teaching school, which is what I am trained to do. I have had a year of running this diner. It is too much work for me. I’m selling the equipment and what I receive for it will last me until I get my first check as a teacher.”

“I could give you the good life. You wouldn’t even have to work if you didn’t want to.”

“No, it is still no.”

“Why are you selling the equipment then? Isn’t it worth more just as it is?”

“Yes, but I need to give you notice and that only leaves a month for you to find someone to lease the diner and for them to come up with the money for what I own.”

“Let me look around and see if I can find someone.”

“Okay. I do have the official notice made out and I am not going to renew with you. I might as well give it to you now.”

“That’s not necessary.”

“I think it is.” Landrove took it. I had listened to them negotiate. The other waitress was there as well. Thea asked, “Would you like to know what the appraisals came to? I have those with me here. I will give you the one for what it is just as the supplies and equipment are in place. If you had someone take over the lease, I have an estimate for someone to come in and install new equipment. That is several thousand dollars difference.

“I’ve also been told the name, “The 2TT Diner” is worth a few thousand dollars. If it isn’t sold with the business, a new lessor would have to start over from scratch in placing its name and new number in the phone books and replacing the signs and creating new advertising.”

Landgrove looked over the appraisal figures. “What would you get if it went to auction?”

“It would be less, but that way, I can walk away and I’ll close the doors the first of January. You have the first and last month’s lease payment that Tim gave you. I really want to get out of here. The auctioneer could come in and take everything during the next month.”

“Jesus, you’re rushing things.”

“Can’t help it. I want out.”

“Let me talk to the cook. He might be interested.”

“I’m going home now. I’ll be back at five.”

“Okay, I’ll see you then.”

We rode home. Thea was hoping Landgrove and the cook could come to an agreement and he would have an offer when she got back.

Patrons were starting to come in for dinner when we returned. I headed for the kitchen to do dishes. Thea headed for the corner booth and Landgrove. The cook’s face was a study in something. I couldn't tell what. One minute he looked happy and another he looked worried.

Thea and I had arrived at a figure that she should not go under. I thought it fair. A half hour later I saw Landgrove leave the diner. He had stuck his head into the kitchen and given the cook a thumps up. Thea came into the kitchen and whispered that she had done better than her lowest figure.

We rode home after I finished the last of the dinner dishes. She was silent until we were almost to her house. “Ed, I have a feeling that Tim is the one who sent you into the diner that morning when you got off the bus. I needed help and guidance from someone and you were there at the right time.”

“Okay I'll let you believe that if it helps.”

I thought. “But what about me? Was my family alive, were they dead, and if they were, where were their bodies? Most of all, when they died, which they must have, were they together at the last moment?”

Thea made her announcement to the kids before they went to bed. “Kids, I’m giving up the diner. I still have to be there for one more month, but then after that I will be a substitute teacher. I’m hoping for a full teacher’s contract for the coming year.”

“That’s great Mom, but what about Ed? What is he going to do?”

“Nancy, he hasn’t said. Ed?”

“Kids, I am the one who urged your mother to give up the diner. She was going to be out anyway, because I learned the owner would not renew her lease. I'm going to stay here if your mom will let me until she gets a teaching contract. That usually comes up in June. I'll decide at that time what I’m going to do?”

“You’re going to stay with us forever. Mom won’t let you go away and Nancy and I won’t either.”

“We’ll see, Matt. I am beginning to like it here and I like you all very much.”

After the kids went upstairs, I asked how much Thea received for the dining equipment. “I got my price it was appraised for right where it is. All I have to do is give Mr. Langrove title to it. Where I did well was on selling the name. I said I thought it was worth $5,000, but he negotiated me down to $2,500. I would have given it to him if he had pushed it. I also was prepared to lower the appraisal by 10%.

“Remind me not to haggle about prices with you.”

“Landgrove did want me and he did propose. I was nice when I turned him down. That might be why he was willing to offer what I was asking for everything.”

“It could be. Tell me, where did you come up with the name for the diner?”

“Thea and Tim.” Of course, how could I have missed that?

Thea was taking the next day off, as that was the anniversary of Tim Campbell’s death. She and the kids were going to have some family time together. They would visit his grave, and be in church when a mass was said for him. Mary took them out to a restaurant over on the seacoast. I was invited too, but this was the Campbell family and I didn't feel as if I should intrude.

On New Years Eve, we all watched the countdown as midnight made its way around the world. I guess all of us were asleep when the New Year finally arrived. I was anyway. I roused up when Thea woke the kids to go upstairs to bed. Mary sleepily staggered out the door to head across the street. I went into my room, stripped, put on my pajamas and got into bed.

There was knock on the door. “Are you decent, Ed? I want to say good night.”

“Yes, come in.”

Thea opened the door and came in. She came right up to the bed where I was laying with my hands behind my head. “Ed, we have both lost our spouses. Pretend this kiss is from Amaya, and I’ll pretend yours is from Tim.” She leaned down and softly pressed her lips to mine. I felt tears drop on my face. “Good night, Tim.” Thea straightened and smiled down at me.

“Good night, Amaya. God Bless.”

“God Bless.” Not looking my way again she left, closing the door softly behind her.

I was able to visualize my wife. It had been some time since Amaya had been this clear in my mind. I went to sleep snuggled up with her memory.

I worked with Thea until she turned the diner over to Mr. Landgrove on February 1. Until then, he came in every day to watch how Thea operated things. Maybe it was just to watch Thea. After awhile he paid more attention to how the cook was managing the diner. I think they would make a go of it. My estimation of him rose several degrees.

I stayed on washing dishes when Thea left. She immediately was employed as a substitute teacher. She seemed much, much happier teaching than she was in the diner. I was not surprised. Working there the month of February was also beginning to pall on me and I didn’t know what to do about it. Some of it was that the March anniversary of losing my family was soon coming up.

I was even thinking I might get on the bus and leave. Then I remembered my promise to Nancy and Matt. I drove the thought into the back of my mind again. It was March 9 when I felt dizzy during the afternoon. I was lightheaded and felt like throwing up. I had a wicked headache as well. I called Mary and asked her to come to the diner and get me.

She felt my brow. “Ed, you have a fever. I am putting you to bed when I get you home. Did you get your flu shot this year?”

“No. I thought maybe if I got the flu, the virus would kill me and end all of my troubles.”

“I think you have it and the way you look you may get your wish.” Mary helped me into my bedroom and even had to help undress me. I was shivering and aching all over.

I must have been very sick, because when I again roused up enough to realize I was still alive, Mary was still there. “Do you know what day this is, Ed?”

“No, tell me.”

“It is the 15th of March.”

“Oh, I don't know, something to do with the Romans. I can’t think. What?”

“No, that isn’t what I meant. You have passed the anniversary of losing your family a year ago. You almost joined them and it was close. Do you need the bathroom?”

“Yes. Please go so I can relieve myself.”

“Nope, you’re too weak. I can give you a can to pee in if you want.” She was laughing. I did not think it that funny. I tried getting out of bed, but did not have the strength. She brought me a coffee can and set it where I could reach it.

“I’ve been out of it for six days?”

“Yes. I had my ex-husband come look at you. You have had the flu. He said you just had to let your body do its work. There are people all over the city with it. I will bring you some juice. You do your thing with your thing while I’m gone.”

“You’re embarrassing me.”

“I meant to. I’m not going into detail of all of the things Thea and I had to do for you in the last few days.”

I hardly had the strength to sit up and swing my feet onto the floor, but I did and I was lying back down when Mary came back. She brought a washbasin and some warm soapy water so I could wash my hands and face. It felt wonderful. I thirstily drank the juice. I was very weak and lay back, but I didn't feel too bad. An hour later, she brought me some scrambled eggs, tea and toast. Jeez, did they ever taste good. When she came in for the dishes I asked, “Okay, tell me about it?”

“First of all, I am a nurse and my ex-husband is a doctor. I got you home on the ninth and into bed. You were sick and spouting from both ends. That lasted until you were emptied out. You have been good the last two days. Thea and I have bathed you and cleaned up in here.”

I interrupted Mary, “Thea saw me?”

“Naked as a jay bird. Anyway, we were worried about you, but my husband said you would be all right when your strength came back. Mostly about what was going on in your mind. You were out of your head and have had a tough time remembering losing your family.” She paused. “We know how much you loved all of them. You talked to them continually.” Sometimes it seemed almost more than you could stand. Thea talked to you and that seemed to help calm you.

“Is everyone else okay? They haven’t caught anything from me have they?”

“No, we all had flu shots last November. Now I think you have talked long enough. I’ll bring in some ice water and then you sleep.” She started for the door.

“Thank you. Mary, call your husband and thank him for me. Thank Thea too.”

“I will. This will give me an excuse to talk to my husband again. Until I called him for you, I hadn’t spoken to him in over a year.”

“Do you still love him? I seem to feel as if you might.”

“I have never stopped loving him. You would think I would after being divorced five years.”

“Is he married again?”

“No, neither of us are.”

“Well, talk to him and tell him you still love him.”

I think Mary needed someone to encourage her. “Ed, I just might do that.”

I dozed for a while and maybe I even napped a little. Mary came in and said she was leaving for a couple of hours. She brought me water and said she would make me some lunch when she returned. “Thea is subbing in one of the local schools. There have been many teachers who have had what you had. She will be home about four. The kids will be home a little after three. The radio is tuned to your favorite station. Turn it on and sleep more if you can.”

I struggled to reach the radio to turn it on. It was the station that played country oldies. There were three sad cheating songs played one right after another. Then Bobby Goldsboro came on singing “Honey.” For some reason I did not want to hear these kinds of song anymore. I certainly did not want to hear the ending of this one. I often had tears listening to this song even before I lost my family. I quickly found a station that played easy listening tunes. This was better.

I laid back and let my mind drift. I think I was beginning to accept that Amaya and my children were gone. I suspected their bodies would never be found. It had been a year now and there were still thousands of people still not found or identified.

At some point, I would go back to San Francisco to the Buddhist temple and talk to the monks. That was my wife’s religion. I had never been involved enough to belong to any and had not taken to hers. I hated it that I was the only person who would remember my family. A few of our friends might. Still, my family had gone out of their lives. They would be soon forgotten.

I must have been sleeping at lunchtime. Mary had left some soup on the bedside stand, but it was cold. I ate it anyway. Nancy eased open the door late in the afternoon. “Hi Ed, you’re better?”

“Much better.”

“We were scared you wouldn’t get well.” Then she giggled. “You called me Chicky. I like that better than Nancy. Can that be my nickname?”

“If you like.”

“I have to start supper. Matt will be home soon. He will be in to talk to you. Ed, the best thing that ever happened was for Mom to get rid of the diner. She is happier and we don't have to spend so much time with Aunt Mary. It was nice to see Uncle Tom again too. I really like him.”

“What happened between your aunt and uncle?”

“Aunt Mary was jealous and they argued about it all the time. Uncle Tom is a hunk and the other nurses were always flirting with him. Uncle got sick of defending himself and told Aunt Mary to shut up or he would leave. I guess she didn't shut up because they got divorced. I was pretty young to know what was going on.”

“Maybe they will get back together.”

“I hope so. Uncle Tom didn’t hesitate when Aunt Mary called him to come examine Mom’s boyfriend. She called you that to make sure he knew there was someone here about whom we were all concerned. Uncle Tom likes us all and was feeling bad for Mom when Dad died.”

This shook me, although Nancy was just relating what had happened. I had never given any thought to moving on beyond Amaya even if she stayed missing. I had set a plan for myself and when I met this family, I fully intended to keep moving and someday carry out my plan. Nancy left the room, for she could see my mind was elsewhere.

I didn't doubt that I had been near death. I might have to explore these new feelings I was having brought on by the sickness I had just gone through. Could a person change his direction in such a few days? Days when you weren’t even lucid?

Matt came bursting into my room. “Hey, you’re alive. We thought you were going to die. Uncle Tom told us he wouldn't let you. He would come and look at you and the rest of the time he and Aunt Mary would look at each other. He thinks you are Mom’s boyfriend. Are you? That would be cool.”

“Thanks Matt, for thinking I’m good enough for your mother. As far as being your mother’s boyfriend, this is news to me. I think it is something your Aunt Mary said to get your Uncle Tom here to see how sick I was.”

“Well, I wish you were. I gotta go peel potatoes. See you.”

Thea came in with a smile. “Hi Ed. You had us worried. We are all glad you are much better.”

“Thanks Thea. The whole family has been in to see me and tell me they are glad I am alive. For your information, I am feeling better than I did even this morning. I’m going to try to get out of bed so I can take a shower.”

“You had a bath last night. You could go one more day if you are too weak.”

“Thea, thank you so much for taking care of me. I really mean that. It is odd, but it was not long ago, if death came to me, I would have welcomed it. I don't feel that way this evening. My sad thoughts seemed to have dissipated somewhat.”

“With you thinking like that it is the best thank you that you could give me. I will bring in your supper when it is cooked. You rest.”

I had to settle for washing up in a washbasin. I was just too weak to walk to the shower. I did it myself and Thea had clean pajamas for me to put on when I finished. I napped again before bedtime. The kids came in and said goodnight. Thea came in later.

My plans were changing. “Thea, I have a request for you. Would you watch me in the next month and give me an opinion on whether you think I could handle a class again? My plans were cast in a solid mold up until I became ill, but they don’t seem so attractive now.”

“That is a relief. But Ed, you have to want to teach again before it will be possible.”

“I know that and that is why I made the request of you I have.”

“Of course I will. Are you going back to the diner when you are strong enough?”

“No, I don’t think I will. I think sometime around May 1, I may go out to California and talk to a couple of Buddhist monks that I know. By that time I should know if I want to teach again.”

“Will you be coming back? We will miss you terribly if you don’t.”

“Yes, I’ll be back.”

“Good, the kids really love you.” She acted as if she wanted say more. I was glad she didn't, because I wouldn’t know how to answer her. She may have had months to fall in love with me, but falling in love again was new to me.

I also had too much baggage I had to get rid of before even considering it.

Two days later, I had just come back from taking a wonderful hot shower. Today I was getting dressed. Mary knocked on my door. “Hi Ed, I have some news.” Then she giggled. When she calmed down, she filled me in. “Tom has his own doctor’s office now. Guess who he just hired to be his nurse.”

“You?”

“Yes, me. Tom says we have lost five years of happiness. We are going to start slow and maybe we can regain some of what we had before I went crazy with jealousy. Therefore, you are going to have to take care of yourself from now on. I’m going into the office late this morning to see where everything is.”

“Good luck, Mary. You deserve it.”

When she left, I went out and sat in the living room. My life was getting complicated. There was $398,000 in cash sitting in a safe out in the kitchen. I had sold everything and I had well over $400,000 to start on my long sad death trip. I looked back to the day I got on the first bus. I must have been crazy!

I had given away about $6,000 helping people along the way. I had handed Thea $1,500, but I noticed she had put that in an envelope with my name on it the one time I had opened the safe. I did not want to ride the bus all the way back to San Francisco. I had no way to get onto a plane, for a person needed a credit card for that. This would take some planning.

I thought about everything. I hope I could figure this out better than I had when I made the plan to commit suicide. I now was sure I was crazy ... earlier! I did not feel crazy now, but then what person thinks he is mentally ill. I had more money now than when I got off the bus. I had worked for three months and my wallet was fat. Thea had clothed me and I had eaten at the diner. In addition, Thea had not taken any rent for the room.

There were the presents I had given at Christmas. The diamond I had bought for my daughter, Chicky, I had given to Nancy. That was the only fine piece of jewelry. The other three items were just high-end costume jewelry that did not add up to $600. I would discuss my problem with Thea. I am sure she would help. Right now having a bag full of cash was almost as bad as having none at all since I couldn’t easily spend it.

I made my own lunch and felt good. I knew I would not be able to go as far as the grocery store. I called and asked if they had someone who could deliver. Yes, they provided that service. I ordered several items so I could build a meal for supper. This became my chore for the next few days. Finally, we had a warm sunny day near the end of March and I had a chance to walk in the field.

For some reason I felt my life was on hold and I needed to be doing something rather than just standing still. I decided that I would go back to teaching and I needed the paperwork for that. I called a former friend and teacher in California. I asked him if he would get me the number where I could speak to someone in the administration on the school board. I had destroyed everything pertaining to my work before I left on the bus, never thinking I would ever teach again.

My friend was surprised and happy to hear from me. I filled him in on what had been happening in my life. He would do anything for me after I told him that I felt my life was now getting back on track. I assured him my feet and my head were connected again. He was sad to learn that Amaya and my family had never been recovered. “I know, and I am resigned to the fact that they will never be found now. It has been more than a year.”

Spring vacation arrived. Thea, Nancy and Matt were home. I had Thea rent a car and we went to the aquarium in Atlanta spending the day there and the night in a nice hotel. The aquarium is the largest in the world and housed species of fish and sea life from all over the globe. We ate in one of the finest restaurants.

Back home Thea and I sat down and worked on my finances. We knew it was going to take some time to deposit the bulk of my cash into a vehicle where I could readily access it. I started out by having Thea deposit $9,500 into each of her two checking accounts and asking her to put my name on her checks and credit cards.

I bought several travelers checks with cash and opened my own accounts in different institutions. It would take a week before my checks came and I would have a credit card. I applied for a debit card issued by these same accounts as well.

In the meantime, I inveigled her to purchase a newer car and she traded her car in and paid cash for the balance. The title was in both of our names. I was trying to establish a credit history without having to answer too many questions from any institution or place of business. When established, I would be making periodic deposits into all of these accounts.

“You can’t be giving me all of this money, Ed.”

“Why not? It is no different than me having a pile of cash in your safe. It is honest money; I just can’t walk into a bank and deposit it all at once without having the Treasury Department inquiring where it came from.”

“Okay, but I’m not going to spend any of it.”

“Well it is there if you want or need it.” I still had almost $300,000 in the safe to deposit over time.

Thea and I were alone one evening when she said, “Ed, you asked me one time if I thought you would ever be able to teach again. I think you can. Contracts are coming up and the education department is posting openings for next year’s classes. Would you apply? Also the kids and I would love to have you continue to live here if you are comfortable with it and us.”

“I am comfortable living here. I have already been in contact with the education department where I used to work. All my work history and qualifications are ready to be faxed to me when requested.”

“Ed, you have come a long way from the person I hired to wash dishes. You may not have known how much I have watched you. I watched you and when a sad song would play on the jukebox, tears would run down your face. I don't even think you were aware it was happening to you some of the time. I never see that happening now. You are not even listening to that kind of music anymore.”

“I know. When I came back to the living from being sick with the flu, it seems as if I was reborn.”

“I think that is what happened.” She started laughing.

“What is so funny?”

“I just was thinking ... you sure are a handsome two month old infant ... and big too. It struck me funny that is all.” I could not help but laugh with her ... and she had seen me naked as well.

I had met Mary’s ex-husband, Tom Reed, several times. In fact, he had given me quite an extensive physical and declared I was in excellent health. He also questioned me about my past. He didn't give me any advice. I knew Mary and Thea had shared with him that they for a long time considered me mentally incapacitated to some extent.

It was an afternoon sometime in the middle of May. Tom asked me to go for a walk with him out across the field. “Ed, I like you, Mary likes you, and Nancy and Matt love you. What are you going to do about Thea?”

I knew this was going to come up. “Tom, I don’t know as I can answer that yet. I have only been aware of Thea as a woman for less than two months and Mary too, for that matter. They are both lovely and you are lucky to have found out Mary still loves you. I know Thea is very fond of me and may even love me. I just have so much baggage. I am still in love with the memory of my wife, Amaya, and I don’t know if I can forget her.”

“Well don’t obsess over it. Thea will wait for you until you resolve how you feel about your wife. Forever, if she has to just because Nancy and Matt think you are so wonderful. Thea was my sister-in-law for a while and is going to be again when I propose to Mary, which is not going to be too long from now. I want Thea to be happy. That is why I decided to talk to you.”

“Thanks, Tom, I appreciate this conversation.”

It was the next day when the earth started to move for me. The phone rang. Thea was shopping and the kids were at school. “Mr. Edward Rawlings, please?”

“This is he.”

“Was your former address Grove Street, San Francisco, California?”

“Yes.”

“Good, I have found you. This is George Cummings. I am on the staff at the US Embassy here in San Francisco. The Japanese Embassy has informed me that the remains of your family have been found and identified. Your in-laws were found at the same location. In fact, they were all in one vehicle together. I have been trying to trace you for the last two weeks. It was not until you contacted your employer at the education department that we were able to get a lead on where you were residing.

“I believe you should contact the attorney of your father-in-law to coordinate the return of your family’s remains to the United States. I am sure that will be your wish. If we here at the Embassy can help you further in any way, please feel free to contact me. Again, my name is George Cummings and my extension is 207. I am truly sorry for your loss.

“Thank you so very much.”

I sat on the couch, playing the conversation over in my mind. I heard Thea come in and put the groceries in the kitchen. “Ed, are you here?” She spoke from the next room. I could not answer although I tried. I must have made some sound because she came into the room and saw me sitting staring straight ahead. I have no idea what the expression on my face was.

“Ed, what happened?” I stood, walked to Thea, and gathered her into my arms, holding her as tight as I could. “Ed, you’re crying again. Have you had a relapse?”

“No Thea, the embassy in San Francisco just called and told me my family has been found and their remains recovered. They were all together in one vehicle. That is the only detail I have. The tears you see are some sad ones, but mostly of relief that they were together at the end. How terrible if Chicky and Itchy had died and they had been separated from their mother at their last moment of life. That was my worst fear.”

“What do you have to do now?”

“I am going to California. I am sure there will be several details to take care of. I may even have to go to Japan.”

“Oh no, I’m not letting you go to that horrible place.”

I pulled back from holding Thea and looked into her eyes. “Ed, I am not going to take any chances on losing you. I love you. There you have made me say it. Can you find it in your heart to love me?”

“I can, now.” The kiss we shared was one of love. There was little passion, that would have to wait. I started making arrangements to travel. Thea helped with this, getting me accommodations for a hotel and checking the flight schedules. I stopped suddenly and asked, “Why don’t you come with me? Mary and Tom will take care of Nancy and Matt.”

“You really would like to have me with you.”

“Definitely!”

Chapter Three

Thea and I planned to be gone a little more than a month. I wanted to follow the Buddhist funeral ritual as closely as possible for this was Amaya’s religion. It would not be the exact ritual, as she had died without the monks being present to chant the traditional words when a subject lay dying.

I had a responsibility for this, as my father-in-law named me his eldest son and left directions with his attorney. If my son, Ichirou had not died, he would have been the next in line instead of me. Strange, but I would fill in as there was no surviving male in the Akita line.

We arrived in San Francisco on May 22. I assumed Thea had booked two rooms, but Thea had an agenda of her own. I asked her if she was serious and that was what she wanted. “Yes it is, Ed.”

It was soon to be thinking of the future and we had not had much of a relationship yet. We had declared our love for each other and that was all so far. She was willing to accept that I had a lot of baggage and knew it might be some time before I was relieved of the ties to my past. She was willing to help me through this and wanted to stand at my side. Then we would go forward into the future together.

“Okay, but it is going to cost you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I may be wrong in my traditions, but let me explain just a little. I am almost positive that Ichirou Akita, my father-in-law, would have made sure someone was named to bury him if he died. That would first be my son Ichirou as blood heir, but since he also died, it would be me to take up the duties of the Family of Akita. If I marry you in the Buddhist tradition, then you would become a daughter. The daughter pays the funeral expenses. Do not worry, sweetheart, for I brought cash. It will be you who hands it over to the monks. This is to keep the tradition."

“That’s crazy!”

“Not much different than paying a priest to have a mass said for a loved one is it?”

“I guess not. Are you going to marry me in the Buddhist tradition?”

“I’ll have to as you only booked one room.”

“That is what is called planning ahead. My plan is much better than the last big plan you had.”

“You mean, like getting drunk and stepping off the dock at seaside somewhere or stepping onto the tracks in front of an oncoming train?”

“Is that what you planned for suicide?”

“I guess. That was the old me and we all know I was mentally challenged at the time.”

“Ed, just how much better will it be marrying me than doing what you just said?”

“A lifetime’s difference.”

We arrived at the hotel early and went to the dining room for breakfast. “After we eat, we’ll go to visit the Buddhist temple. I will talk to one of the monks about bringing the family Akita home. I could leave this for Tony Morgan, the Akita Attorney, but I want to do this on my own. I’ll decide then if I should go and escort the remains.”

“Do you mean we might have to go to Japan?”

“I don’t think you can. You don't have a passport. I will make sure you will be taken care of. I have a special friend here in the city and you can stay with him and his family. I would only be gone four days.”

“I want to be with you.”

“I know. Lets not worry about that yet.”

“We must go to the temple early in the morning.” Before arriving at the temple, I instructed Thea on a few basic rules so the monks would not be offended. “A monk would never chastise one, but would have to do a penance to keep him on his path. Again it is a courtesy for us to be aware.”

We arrived at the temple and engaged the monk who handled funerals. We came away with a plan for the funeral that was respectful and adjusted to the way these deaths had occurred. Ordinarily this would take place in the home of the deceased before the body was transported. It was then cremated. This was different. These bodies were cremated in accordance with the acceptable rituals already.

How did we know this? This temple was informed of their deaths from the records found with the bodies. The record specifically was a plastic card giving the name and address of the temple here in San Francisco. Something had to be done with the bodies as it took so long to locate me. They were working in conjunction with the Akita’s attorney who passed okay for the cremation.

I would open the Akita house here. When the ashes arrived, a funeral according to ritual would be conducted. I had one choice to make. Assuming I would be in charge, should I have the ashes interred or scattered on water?

I conferred with the monk. “How am I going to get the remains here?”

“You can get stone receptacles to transport the ashes in. I think that would be wise.”

“I want to do what is proper and respectful. I loved my family very much. I would like to have them escorted. I can travel to get them and return to hold the funeral.”

“That would be a choice or I can have a monk travel with them. He will also have to have a lay person with him. There are certain things that are an offense for a monk while traveling to perform. One of these is coming into direct contact with a woman and another is to handle money. We travel between Japan and here all the time and we have ways to adhere to our rules and beliefs.”

I looked at Thea. I already knew her thoughts. My mind went back to the last time I had seen Amaya and the two children. We had said goodbye just before they boarded the plane. I made the decision and looked at the waiting Monk. “Would you arrange to have my family’s ashes escorted to the Akita household? I will wait here for their arrival. Please follow whatever your teachings dictate.”

“Wise decision my son. Is there anything else you wish?”

“Yes there is. My wife has been deceased for over one year. I have chosen a new mate. My chosen is a widow and she too has chosen me for her mate. I would ask you to perform a Buddhist wedding following the Kwan Um tradition.”

“Do you have a marriage license?”

“No. We plan on a religious ceremony in the faith of her church later. We will obtain a license as soon as we return to our home.”

“If the ceremony is performed here as you would like, it will not be legally binding.”

“We are aware of that. However, we are far from home and intend to sleep together. We do intend to have a long, harmonious and faithful life with each other. By saying the vows, we will be showing each other our respect and love.”

Our wedding was lovely. We used the Kwan Um Marriage Ceremony, which is short, yet beautiful. The vows are based on the Eight-fold Noble Path:

Buddhist Wedding Ceremony

Views --- We vow in our married life together to continually break through our pre-conceived views of each other and see clearly.


Thoughts --- We vow to let go of feelings that arise from selfish desires, attachments, and fears, so that we can open our hearts to one another.


Conduct --- We vow to be compassionate with one another and with all beings.


Speech --- We vow to refrain from speaking harshly or deceptively to each other or about one another to others.


Livelihood --- We vow to practice peaceful and ethical occupations and to support each other in our work.


Effort --- We vow to support one another in creating a compassionate and loving home.


Mindfulness --- We vow to always be mindful of each other and to let go of our ideas and beliefs so that we can see each other clearly.


Meditation --- We vow to encourage each other to walk the bodhisattva path together.

During the ring exchange, Thea and I made the following additional vows, which are taken from:

The Book of Ruth

"Where you go I will go. Where you lodge I will lodge. Your people will be my people. What you hold sacred I will hold sacred. When you die, I will be there. Nothing but death shall divide us."

We had no time to learn the ritual, but we were able to read them and speak to each other the words.

We left the temple hand in hand and when we reached the taxi, I said, “Now Mrs. Rawlings, let’s drive by the Akita household. Then we will arrange to meet with the Akita attorney as soon as possible.

“Whatever you do my husband, it is fine with me. I would make a couple of comments just so I can understand. You left a lot of money in the alms box. Was all of that necessary?”

“Yes. You notice he did not ask to be reimbursed for another monk to escort my wife and family’s remains here to the United States. The Buddhist exists on alms such as I presented to him. Years ago and still in some of the poorer countries, the monks exist on the food that is brought to them as alms. I will be giving them much more to conduct the funeral. I imagine Father Akita has alms set aside for his funeral.”

“These Buddhist customs are so much different.”

“Yes they are. Gautama Buddha lived about 500 years before Christ and that religion has evolved. Different countries practice it in many different ways. Many of the teachings have come down straight from him just as the words in our New Testament came down from Jesus.”

I looked at Thea and could see there was more she wanted to ask. I did want to say something before she did. “Thea, I haven’t had a chance to court you the way I should. I plan to do that during our long and loving future together. For a long time I did not see you as a woman I would love because I only had thoughts about Amaya. When I awoke from being so ill, you were there. The thoughts of her have receded into the background. You are now foremost in my thoughts and always will be.”

“Ed, I was going to ask if you were going to court me. That was my question. I can see I did not need to ask. What you have just said lets me know you love me and you always will. I guess I was pushing you a little hard by only reserving one room. Ed, you just don’t know how long I have needed you.”

“I need you too. Thea, Mary didn't say anything about you caring for me while I was ill. I know now it was you who was there tending me. I don't usually remember my dreams or not the good ones, anyway, but I do remember someone putting a cooling cloth on my fevered brow and telling me, they loved me. It had to have been you.”

“I was me. I was so afraid you were going to follow your plan and go look for Amaya. Desperate of me, maybe, but I wanted you for myself. We have helped each other so much, I felt there was a reason and the reason was that we were meant to be together.

“We are, Thea. We were meant to be together and we are.”

It had been a busy day and I felt we had accomplished a lot. I was tired and suggested we return to our room in the hotel. I called the attorney’s office from there. Tony Morgan had left for the day, but there was a standing order if I ever contacted the office and he was not there they were to patch me through to his home.

“Hello Tony, this is Ed Rawlings. I’m in town.” I didn't get further than that.

“Jesus Christ Ed, where in hell have you been? I haven't heard from you for many, many months. I’ve been trying to reach you for that long too.”

“Sorry about that, Tony. I've been ill. I almost died in March. I'm fine now. The US embassy here in San Francisco went looking for me and they tracked me down.”

“What, were you hiding?”

“Not really. I was just out of circulation.”

“Well, where were you?”

“I have been living in a small city in the state of Georgia. You do know Amaya and the children have been found, don’t you?”

“Yes. The embassy notified me three weeks ago. I okay'd their cremation. That was Akita’s wishes. How did you find out?”

“I called a friend of mine because I'm going back to teaching. The school system had my number after I contacted them for my work history. The embassy was looking for me and got in touch with them getting my address.”

“Good, now maybe we can get some things settled. You are heir to the Akita estate. I have had everything in my hands since he went on vacation. I have his power of attorney. The courts are slow. I was just about ready to turn things over to you when you disappeared last fall.”

“Yes. Well, I said I was sick. I guess you could say I was sick in the head. I lost it when my family died. I almost took myself out.”

“I know. I found that out, but you had already left the area. Anyway, I have many details for you to take care of. I assume you want the remains brought back here. That has to be addressed. The business will come to you. You can take it over or put it on the market. Akita had collected quite a few assets and those will come to you as well. You had better come into the office tomorrow and we’ll get started on it.”

“Okay, I'll do that.  I have already made arrangements for the remains to come home.”

“Akita and his wife too?”

“Yes, of course. He was as much family to me as Amaya and the kids were. I've talked to the monks at the Buddhist temple he prayed at and all of the remains are being escorted here by a monk from Japan. When they arrive, I’ll open the house and we’ll have a Buddhist funeral from there.”

“It sounds as if you’re on top of it. That pretty much follows Akita’s wishes. He left detailed directions with me if anything happened while he was away. Akita was about as methodical and organized about everything as I've ever seen anyone. I’d have gone crazy if he hadn’t, considering what happened to him.”

“Thanks for everything, Tony. I will be in early tomorrow. Oh, for your information, I went through a Buddhist wedding this afternoon. I married the wonderful woman who cured me of my sickness.”

“Congratulations Ed. She must be something. I know how much you loved Amaya.”

“She is something. She is with me and you’ll meet her tomorrow.”

I put the phone down and turned to Thea who was sitting in a chair patiently waiting for me to finish my business. “Now my little Theodora who is God’s gift to one Ed Rawlings, it is time we got acquainted. We do have a marriage to consummate wouldn’t you think?”

“Ed it is way past time. Do you know you have never done more than kiss me a couple of times and hold my hand a few times? I have seen all of you when you were sick, but you have not seen me yet. Would you like to? After all I am your wife.”

I grinned. “Not legally, though.”

“Close enough for me.”

“Me too.”

It took a couple of hours to consummate our marriage. We both wanted to go slow, so we didn’t rush our lovemaking. We asked each other many questions of what each enjoyed and when we got down to the actual act, it was basic. We were looking forward to a lifetime together and with all indications, we had time.

Thea was a much larger and heavier person than Amaya had been. Amaya had what you would say had a stick figure and only five foot one in height. Her hair was shiny, coal black, straight and her eyes were dark brown, almost black, and slightly almond shaped. She had very small breasts, never larger than an “A” cup. She did have beautiful legs. Way into her twenties, she moonlighted as a model for teen clothes, this even after bearing our two children.

Thea was much the opposite. Her hair was red and had some curl to it. Her blue eyes were lively and sparkled when she smiled. She had fuller and more generous lips and a well-defined chin. Her breasts were not excessively large, but big enough so my eyes were automatically drawn to them. She had a slight protruding tummy with a little excess fat on it. Her butt was wider and the cheeks moved when she walked. The thighs and calves of her legs were well muscled. Some of this may have come from working in the diner for the past year.

I had married this woman and I wouldn't have been able to describe her fully before tonight. I could now. These were just thoughts that ran through my mind. I certainly didn't compare the two women aloud. I was always satisfied with the shape of my first wife and I knew I would be satisfied with this one. They were just different in so many ways.

We lay in bed talking afterward. I asked what she thought about having another child sometime in the future. “I’d love to have a baby with you, even two if we can afford it.”

“I think we will be able to afford as many as we wish for. Nancy and Matt will be out of college by the time it is time for the next two to go.”

“That’s going to take an awful lot of money. The Georgia school system isn’t known for liberal pay for their teachers.”

“We will be able to provide, I promise.”

“Ed, I’m hungry. Do you suppose we could get something to eat?”

“I’m hungry too. Let’s get dressed and go hunt something up. What are you hungering for?”

“Pizza, definitely some pizza.”

“That sounds good. We will have beer with it. How about that?”

“Great, call a cab.” We returned before midnight, tired from traveling and everything we accomplished today. We snuggled down and got as close to each other as we could and went to sleep.

I was awake for a bathroom break at 4:30. Thea was up for the same reason. When I came back to bed, I said, “Let’s call home and say hi to the kids before they go to school.”

Thea got her sister. “Hi Mary, are the kids still home? Tell them that Mrs. Ed Rawlings would like to speak to them.”

I heard a squeal and then, “Hey kids, Ed and your mom are married. Come speak to her.” After the first excitement, Nancy wanted speak to me.

“Ed, I wanted to be there when mom and you were married.”

“You will be, sweetheart. I wanted to show your mom that I loved and respected her, so we went to a Buddhist temple and said the words that would make us husband and wife. We do have to have a more formal ceremony that is recognized and recorded by the legal system. I think your mom is planning on you being her maid of honor. I’m going to have Matt as my best man.”

“Are you and Mom sleeping together?”

“Yes we are.”

“Oh, I’m glad you got married then. I have to go to school now. I hope you come home soon. Bye.”

I almost hung up, but Thea grabbed the phone to tell Mary all about the wedding. They were still gabbing when I went back to sleep.

We had breakfast downstairs in the hotel. We arrived at Morgan and Associates law office just before 10:00 o’clock. Tony started right in giving me information about the Akita business and his assets. This was right after he was introduced to Thea. He first told me what was in the will, which stated it all came to me, barring some bequests. The actual reading would be later.

“Ed, I’m really pleased the bodies were found. It has made settling the estate much easier for me. Otherwise, I would have had to go to court and have him declared dead. We knew he was, but we have to conform to certain laws. I have had the devil of a time working within what his wishes were.

“Anyway, I've kept the business intact, by having one of his competitors run it as his own. It is actually worth as much or more now than when Akita died. There is a standing offer by this same person to purchase the business.”

Thea asked. “Just what is the business? Ed has never said and you just mention his business never saying what it is.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you knew. It is an import, export business dealing in high-end antiquities. When I first learned of Akita’s probable demise, I did an inventory of the business and his assets. I have an accounting firm that keeps track of all of the transactions and I get a report once a month.

“You know Akita didn’t trust our government too much. He was a small child in one of the relocation camps from 1942 to 1946 in Arizona during the Second World War. He has always kept a large portion of his assets in liquid form. As he got richer, he purchased US silver certificates from those who dealt in them. At first they cost him 50 to 67% over face value. Now to collectors, they are worth 500 to 800 times that depending on condition.

“There is also his home. Ed, you know it well and that is of substantial value. I would say you are worth a considerable amount of money.”

“I would say so too. I knew Akita intended for my son Ichirou to have the business and be his partner in later years when he came of age. That was why I named him after his grandfather and not me. I was an Anglo, but my son was of his blood so he took precedent over me in his eyes. We respected each other, mostly because I was willing for Itchy to learn about the Japanese culture.

“He loved his daughter, Amaya, but he was very disappointed in her when she chose me for a mate. He did come to see how much love we had for each other and was happy for both her and me, but it took some time. Tony, how long is it going to take to settle all of this?”

“Three months, anyway. Longer if I have to work with another attorney. Why don’t you talk it over with your wife and I’ll make time for you tomorrow afternoon. I am the administrator, so if you make your wishes as heir known, I can hand over the estate in whatever form best suits you.”

“We will let you know. I need to go to the Japanese Embassy and I want to meet with George Cummings to thank him for being so diligent in finding me. Tony do you have any information on how they died?”

“Yes, I have a copy of the report. The Japanese Embassy will give you the original. The report states that their death was instantaneous. There is a detailed description of how and why they died as they did. Also, why it took so long to discover them. Do not look at the pictures of the location of where they were found, not for a while anyway. In later years, you might when this all recedes into the past for you. Just remember this was a national tragedy and your family was only one of many caught up in it.”

“Tony, I’m having the temple where Akita prayed conduct the funeral. May I have the keys to the Akita house so they can come in to get it ready to receive the remains and set up for the funeral? I think the remains should arrive from Japan the day after tomorrow or the next day.”

“Sure, I have the keys here. Also keep track of all the alms given except your own personal ones and I’ll bill the estate.”

I was leaving a lot in Tony Morgan’s hands. I knew he was very honest and had been Akita’s attorney almost since he passed the bar. He worked almost exclusively with the Japanese. He would know how to notify those who would want to be at the funeral and I was willing to leave this in his capable hands.

I was heir to Ichirou Akita, but that was immaterial to the Japanese, as I only had married into the family. It almost boiled down to me being just an observer who would pay the bills.

Thea and I traveled by taxi. This was an expensive way to get around the city, but the most convenient. We arrived at the US embassy and had a few minutes to thank George Cummings. He questioned which Japanese embassy I wanted to visit. There was a consulate here in the city at 50 Fremont St.

We arrived at the consulate, and were met and ushered into a room where a staff member first uttered his condolence. I thanked him. He then described what the investigation revealed when the vehicle all of my family was in was found.

“Apparently Akita was driving in a small vehicle when they realized they was an event happening behind them. Another two miles and they could have been safe ... maybe. We surmise someone in the rear seat alerted the driver, Mr. Akita, and he pulled into the shadow of a factory building on the far side from where the tsunami was approaching. He would not have known it, for the ground was soft there. I'll get to that in a minute.

“The wall of water hit the factory on its longest side pushing first the first wall over and when the roof assembly started to cave in it pushed the farther wall over onto the vehicle your family was in. Death had to be instantaneous. The cement wall was so heavy, it pushed the car down below the ground level with a portion of the roof on top of. It was a horrendous way to die. Please don’t forget that all the deaths were horrendous.”

“I know. I'm just thankful that they were found. I'm thankful if they had to go, it was quick, and most of all I am thankful they were not separated and were together. It has been a long difficult time for me this last year. I feel their spirits combined kept me from wanting to join them. It was so close though.”

“I understand. I'm going to turn the report over to you of how they were found. Also the investigation that determined how they died. Some of it is assumption, of course. However, it is much more detailed than those of others compiled immediately following the disaster. We have your family’s effects here, which do not consist of very much. Most organic fibers deteriorated. Coins, jewelry and plastic items survived. The Akita name was known in Japan as he had a representative there. The temple’s name was found on a card in the wallet.”

“I appreciate all you have done. Would you thank the Consul and the rest of his staff for me?’

“That will be done.”

We left there and I directed the taxi to take us to the Akita compound. On the way I had it take us by my former home. A teacher I knew of and his family now owned it. I had met them when we signed the papers. It was troublesome for me driving by, but I knew the house didn't hold anything for me anymore. It made me sad and Thea held tight to my hand. I didn't shed tears. Thea did and leaned over and laid her head on my chest.

We arrived at my father-in-law’s house. Thea got out of the taxi on her side. I had to walk around as I had been sitting behind the cabbie. She stood there just looking. The house was low in front, only one story. There were no windows on the street side. The house was constructed of wood. Set back from the front section there was a two-tiered pagoda rising in the rear. This was a house of someone with Asian descent. You would never see anything like this in Georgia.

There was the same type of tiny roof over the double front entrance that brought the whole structure into alignment. To each side of the doors were vertical panels extending out to the neighboring residences.

“Everyone comes in through the front door? Thea asked.”

“No, the rear entrance opens on the alley behind the house. I wanted you to see how attractive the building is from the front.” We entered into an Atrium and removed our shoes, putting on slippers lined up on the side. The huge room was light and you could see tended flower gardens outside to left and right. There was a stone Buddha image sitting in a shallow alcove directly ahead in the back wall. It had a small Dias in front of it lower than the one the Buddha sat on.

This was a large room and I felt that it was an appropriate setting for the funeral of the Akita family. Amaya had lived here only briefly after it was constructed. This was while she was finishing high school. She had returned for visits, of course and had her own room, but I had captured her heart and we made our own way. She had confided in me that it was a beautiful dwelling but she never felt comfortable living there.

I passed quickly across the room with Thea following me. We went into the living apartment of the Akita family. This was to the left. Here all of the furniture was of western culture i.e., tables and chairs of the highest quality and design. As were the appliances. I walked around, inspected the cupboards, and even opened the refrigerator. All were bare. Everything shone with polish. It must be that Mrs. Cho still came in to care for the house.

I walked through the bedrooms and into a small light room where my mother-in-law did her painting. This was her hobby and she was quite good. It was a tradition for Geisha to take up something like this when not otherwise occupied. “Mrs. Akita trained as a Geisha, but left it when she met Ichirou Akita when he came to Japan one time. She was training to be a true entertaining Geisha not one who was a prostitute. There are so many different kinds Geisha it is hard to explain. Of course she may have been one who was, but this is what was related to me.”

“Did she only work in water color?”

“I believe so. When we get to the storeroom, you will see a few pictures arranged on the wall. That was the only place she had a showcase for them.”

“Ed, I don’t think I could ever live in a house such as this. It seems so formal.”

“I know what you mean, my wife felt the same way. She was more westernized. Akita was too, but his wife was a bride from Japan and she held to the ways she was raised. Come we will go into the other wing. You will feel as if you are walking into a museum. Akita has glass cases where he displayed his artifacts that his agents in China, India, Korea, and of course Japan, found for him to buy and later sell.”

Just then, the door from the garden opened and this tall angular woman entered. She paused, surprised that someone was present besides herself.

“Mrs. Cho, did I startle you?”

“Yes, for a moment you did. Mr. Rawlings, I am so sad for the loss of your family.”

“Thank you. It has been a long and difficult time for me. I was sick for many months. This lady with me helped me recover. Mrs. Cho, please meet my new wife, Theadora Rawlings. Thea, Mrs. Cho.”

“I am pleased to meet you. Do you stay here?”

“Oh, no, I have a family of my own in the Korean quarter of the city. I work as housekeeper for the Akita. I also oversee the gardeners and do dusting in the storeroom. It hasn’t been difficult now that master is not in residence.”

“Mrs. Cho, the remains will be returning by the day after tomorrow. The funeral is arranged for here. Will that be a problem?”

“Will it be a Buddhist ceremony managed by monks from his temple?”

“Yes. To bring you up to date on other matters, and Mr. Morgan will so inform you, the Akita has left you and others he employed a sum in his will. Mr. Morgan has informed me that I am the major heir to both the business and the property. This includes the house and storeroom and also the warehouse and shipping office.”

“Will you be selling his business or running it yourself?”

“Everything will be on the market. I am leaving the city and returning to the east coast. There are two children involved whom I fell in love with before I fell in love with their mother. They cannot replace Chicky and Itchy, just as Thea cannot replace Amaya in that section of my heart where I keep my memories. I think my heart is big enough to contain both memories and the new love I have for my new family.”

“You are wise, Mr. Rawlings.” Mrs. Cho showed us both gardens and after that, she left, leaving us at the entrance to the storeroom. This was more of a vault than just a room. It consisted of cement walls and floor with steel for the ceiling. It had a key pad to get into it and you had to know the code to turn off the alarm. It was also temperature and humidity controlled.

The room was nearly forty feet long and twenty-five feet wide. There were glass cases of artifacts and each piece had its own provenance. There were samurai weapons and armor displayed. There were paintings on silk and paper, again, with who the artists were. All came with verification, sometimes from a museum.

Everything in the room was mainly Japanese, but there was a collection of different small objects from China. These were old and of jade from the different dynasties. In the rear corner were a few artifacts from Korea.

“It must be worth millions.”

“Yes, but it means nothing to me so I am going to sell it.”

“You being so rich can be a problem for us.”

“Why? When we get back to Georgia, I am looking for a teacher’s contract and I plan going on with my life. If my family were not found, it would have been years before they would be declared dead. It would've been quite some time before I would've had to do something with all of this. They still aren’t with me, but I can now put them behind me and make my life with you.”

“Well okay, but I didn’t set out to marry a rich man. We still are going to get married aren’t we?”

“Thea, I consider myself married already. I want to live the rest of my life with you. If the money bothers you, we will find a good use for it. We can set up a charitable foundation or something.”

Thea looked intently at me. “But I’m not bringing anything to our marriage like you are.”

“Thea, you in effect saved my life. I never wanted to be rich. It was I who persuaded Akita to make his grandson the first son and heir. Ichirou was interested and he would have been happy to follow his grandfather’s path for him. Let’s not talk about it anymore.”

We walked around and looked at the objects some more, but I was not that interested. I had spent time here, but never enjoyed it. Itchy would come to visit his grandfather and could listen to him for hours.

“Thea, there is something you might be interested to know about Mrs. Cho. Itchy was the one who told me about Mrs. Cho. She is of mostly Korean descent. Japan had invaded Korea in 1919 and held the peninsular in an iron fist until they lost after the Second World War. Japan was a powerful nation and had massive armies. They needed women to keep their troops happy. They would go into a village, gather up the women, and make slaves of them.

“This happened to Mrs. Cho’s grandmother. When the grandmother was released from slavery, she was already pregnant with Mrs. Cho’s mother. The Japanese sperm donor was an officer and was of the Akita family in Japan. I guess there must have been some affection, for Mrs. Cho’s mother tracked the Akita name down and found there were branches here in America.

“Mrs. Cho immigrated here and presented herself to Ichirou as a distant relative. He, whose family was incarcerated by us, apologized for his country’s acts and hired her as a housekeeper. Mrs. Akita never looked on Mrs. Cho as more than a slave and treated her as such. Akita never chastised his wife, but he and Mrs. Cho would laugh about it.

“You know Japanese women never held much stature in the family hierarchy. This troubled Amaya. I made sure to treat her as my equal.” I pulled Thea to me and whispered I love you in her ear. That got me a warm welcomed kiss.

“Ed, I’ve seen all I want to see here. It is interesting and it all is valuable. Can we go somewhere and have some fun?”

“Sure. Let me call Tony Morgan and tell him to find a buyer for everything. I think we should pick out a few things to set aside and keep what might pique the kids interests in history and or of different cultures.”

“Okay.”

We ate at a restaurant that served Spanish food. The meat was lamb, roasted with garlic. This was my favorite meat and I had eaten here often. Thea at first frowned, but said she would try it. “Not too bad, I guess. I think I will stick to beef and pork.” Later we went to a club and danced. We did not stay late, as it had been a busy day for us. Tomorrow Tony wanted me to come into his office and he would read the will.

Again, we were awake early in the morning. We called the kids and I could hear my wife telling Mary all about the Japanese house and all of the artifacts stored in it. She said that they would be a present for everyone after the estate was settled. The value would come out of the estate. She did not tell her the majority of the estate belonged to me. When she returned to bed where I had been laying there admiring her, she said, “I’m a morning person. I love to be loved in the morning.”

“I am a morning person too.”

We went sightseeing around the Bay Area and rode the trolley cars, ate a quick lunch and presented ourselves at the attorney’s office. There were more than a dozen bequests. Several were to Akita’s friends who he had dealt with and had the permission to pick out one object that was in the storehouse. Mrs. Cho received a very liberal amount from the estate and I was happy for her.

Tony again informed me it would take quite some time to settle the estate and asked me if I had enough to live on until he started dispensing the funds. I assured him I had, and intended to go back to teaching anyway.

“You won’t need to work at all when this is all settled.”

“That may be so, but I love teaching and Thea does too. I do not see any need to change my plans. I made a change in my plans a few weeks ago. It has made me a happy man and yes it brought me back to the living.” Not many present had any idea what I was referring too, but my wife did. Before we left the office, Tony announced that the remains of the Akita family would be in on a flight later this evening. It would be at least one more day before the funeral.

Tony was handling everything. I felt a little left out, but he was the Akita’s attorney. I had not wanted the family to be apart at the moment of death and I could not separate their remains now to give them individual funerals. I did not feel like going out of the hotel to eat or to dance tonight so Thea and I watched a little TV and went to bed early.

“What are you going to do with so much money, Ed? I do not care, but I am curious. You must have some idea. You said a charity or something like that. That seems kind of impersonal.”

“That’s as far as I have got. Do you have any ideas?”

“I’ve got one. It is just a thought, though.”

“Tell me.”

“It concerns the field back of the houses on our street. The group that purchased it has not done anything with it and it looks worse every year. It is big enough for a recreation area for the neighborhood. You could build a couple of softball fields, a little league field, and maybe a skateboard park. You could have swings and activities for the younger kids. You could even have a bandstand for concerts. It would be like a memorial to your family. The money comes from your in-laws and it would be fitting to remember them this way.

“I have thought I should have a way to remember them. That’s an excellent idea.”

I thought through what Thea had just said. “We could have a granite stone with their names stating they were tsunami victims. We could even have the marble cremation urns incorporated. I have often wondered what I would do with them. I never considered placing them on a shelf as some people do.”

“They will be empty won’t they?”

“Yes. We will take a trip up into the mountains, have a picnic, find a stream, and cast the ashes on the water. You know that some people believe that to do this it gets your soul to heaven as pure as possible. The soul of a person is in the ashes and when these are cast on the water, the soul and sins separate and the sins and troubles float away.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“I read that somewhere. I can believe it I think.”

“We will plan that then.”

The funeral was by invitation only. It was mostly business associates or those who attended the same Buddhist temple. Mrs. Cho, Thea, and I sat behind a screen. Tony suggested this, as we were Christian. I had followed Amaya’s wishes and had our two children brought up attending the Buddhist temple. I suspected Chieko would leave and find another religion when she reached eighteen. Ichirou would not leave his grandfather’s beliefs, as he was his grandfather’s heir in all things.

The ceremony wasn’t very long. The chants and readings were in Japanese. I could follow much, but not all. I knew there would be some ritual much as there was contained in the Catholic ceremony. Mrs. Cho served tea and small fish cakes that she had prepared when it was over. It was very quiet and no one spoke loudly. Everyone soon left. I had Thea retrieve the alms bowl from the other room and present it to the monk who had organized the funeral.

“Mr. Rawlings, the new ways are not like the traditional ways. We do adjust as the situation dictates. If you would like to return to your home, we can finish this without your presence. Mrs. Cho, as a distant relative, can fulfill the required remaining rituals. When the seven days are over, we will carry the containers to the temple. We can ship them to you at that time. It will not be necessary to have them escorted.”

“I believe that is what I will do. I will return once tomorrow and after that I will leave it in your hands.” Tomorrow was another time of alms giving. I wanted to adhere to tradition as much as possible. The monk smiled, which was my only thank you.

We said goodbye to Mrs. Cho. She and my wife would have become good friends if we did not live so far apart. I took Thea out to dinner, but we did not go anywhere after that, just returning to the hotel. My mind was not at ease and Thea realized it. She sat close to me and held my hand speaking little. About ten o’clock she went to bed leaving me alone with my thoughts. I crawled into bed about midnight.

I did sleep for a while, but it wasn’t a good sleep. I awoke, finding Thea awake as well. “Ed, why don’t you go over to the house and be with your family. Say good-bye one last time.”

This was what I needed to do. I called a cab. While waiting for it, I asked Thea to come get me at nine this morning. Also, I asked her to book a flight late this afternoon and we would be home for breakfast in the morning tomorrow.

I went in through the front door. There were two young monks meditating before the Dias where the five marble urns were placed. I placed my alms in the bowl and sat down. I had often sat with Amaya meditating, but had always had trouble letting my mind go. This morning I had no trouble at all.

My mind drifted back to the first time I had met Mrs. Akita and how I could read the displeasure in her face at the American boy her daughter had chosen for a mate. Over time she had learned to hide her feelings, but there was always a distance between us. This morning, though this was gone. In my mind, she appeared warm and friendly chattering away gaily.

Chieko appeared saying, “Hi Pop,” impish as she could be, and even more so in my dream this time. Scenes from when I first held her, through her happy times and those times that troubled her. She had a difficult time when she became a teenager and came to me for advice.

“Chicky, it is your life. Always respect yourself in whatever decision you make and you will be happy.” Moreover, she was. Oh, but life for her ended so soon!

Ichirou Akita, grandfather, successful businessperson, with a sense of history and ancestors. He lived, regretting the way the world was traveling into the future, but willing and able to keep pace with it.

Standing just behind him and sometimes beside him was the other, younger Ichirou. Grandson of one, and yes, son to me. Him I was always proud of, but knowing he belonged to his grandfather more than to me. I had his respect and was proud he had the inclination to embrace both cultures, his grandfather’s, and mine. I could see he was going to be comfortable in either one. He was young and listened to his grandfather with an intensity that I could not command.

I came out of my meditation when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. Thea whispered, “Ed, it is nine and the taxi is waiting at the door. You have been here six hours.”

Amaya had not appeared in my dreams, but she would at some point. I would find time to meditate and she would come to me then.

I was cramped and it was difficult to stand. I looked around and could see a single monk. I did not think he was one of the two that were here earlier. He did not glance my way. I took one last look at the Dias where the marble cremation urns were. I knew I would see them again in a few days. I whispered goodbye and turned, following Thea out of the house. I directed the cab to Tony Morgan’s office.

“Good morning Ed, is the funeral all over?”

“Not quite, but there is nothing more for me until I receive the urns in ten days or so. They will be shipped to me. When you get down to settling the estate, I have a list here of items that I need held out of the sale. I want a donation made to the company or entity working in the area where my wife and family were found. I also think there are alms that are given three years after the funeral. Hold that out and dispense it at that time.

“I doubt I will ever be coming this way again. I fully intend to stay in Georgia and make my home there. Thea has suggested that I build a memorial to my family in the form of a playground for young people. My family will be forgotten over time, but the tsunami will go into the history books. If I name the playground ‘Tsunami Park,’ it will suffice.”

“That’s an excellent idea. You will have a few million to construct a nice one. I would suggest you have some kind of marker naming the Akita and the Rawlings family. I will carry out your wishes. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

“No, but I’m sure we will be in touch when you find a buyer to purchase the Akita business and property.”

“You’re leaving soon?”

I looked at Thea. She answered, “Yes, we are flying out late this afternoon. Thank you for all you are doing for us. Ed worried about getting it all straightened out and you have made it so easy for him.”

“It has been my pleasure, Mrs. Rawlings. It also has been my pleasure to become acquainted with you. May you have a safe flight home and I wish you and Ed a happy life together.”

Thea and I went shopping for rings. We bought a wedding set and then we set about buying a diamond for her. This was backward, but it was a matter of priorities. It became a little awkward when I did not have quite enough money in my credit account to cover the cost of all three rings. We made it when Thea passed over her card, smiling up at me. “I’m not letting you get away over the lack of a few dollars for a ring that I’m going to cherish.”

We reached the airport just after four o’clock in plenty of time. We boarded the plane after going through security. There was a minor flight delay and we were in the air ten after six. We slept most of the way and reached Atlanta just before midnight. We had an hour and half trip after we picked up our car.

Home never looked so good. We drove into the garage and walked into the house, setting our bags down. I turned to Thea, “Your room or mine?”

“Ed. Let me ask you the same? Your room or mine?”

“This is our first big decision we have to make together, isn’t it?”

“It could be. It makes little difference to me as long as we are with each other. Ed, flip a coin for tonight and we’ll let the kids decide after breakfast.”

“That is the best possible solution.” We soon made our way upstairs to Thea’s room. This was the first time I had ever gone up the stairs.

The bed was in the center of the room. Thea disrobed on one side of the bed and I on the other. We crawled into bed and met in the middle. “I like your bed.”

“The bed or what is in it?” I just reached over and pulled Thea to me. That was my answer. Tonight even tired as we were we took advantage of the house being empty. There would be few times in the future for us to be alone.

This was Saturday morning. We knew there was no school and Mary would not be going into Tom’s office. At eight-thirty, I called across the street and announced that breakfast was on. Nancy and Matt came charging in and hugged us both. Mary and Tom came in shortly afterward. I was surprised that Tom was there this early. It became clear when Matt burst out with the news that Uncle Tom had a sleepover.

I grinned, at him and received one in return. I let Thea tell everyone what we had been doing. “Everyone here is going to get a present in a few months. Ed wanted you all to have something so his former family won’t be entirely forgotten.”

Matt was curious. “What is my present going to be, Ed?”

“I picked out an old sword for you, Matt. In fact, all of the presents are old. Some of them have considerable value. Maybe we can find a museum that will display them. That would save us from having to insure them.”

“I can’t keep it in my room to play with?”

“We’ll see when it gets here.”

Later, Tom was curious too. “How valuable is the sword, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Just under $5,000. That is the estate value. It would sell for a bit more in a wholesale antique auction. The provenance goes back to the ninth century with the maker and the samurai warrior who wore it.”

“Christ, Ed, who are you?”

“I’m just a teacher who married a Japanese woman who was a teacher the same as I. Her father owned an import, export business. I would never have had any of this if my son had not died at the same time as his grandfather did. I will sell all of it and try to do some good with it. There is no reason I shouldn’t get a little pleasure in giving some of the items away. It warms my heart and helps me forget what I lost.”

“That seems sensible. Is Thea comfortable with this?”

“I would say so. She has come up with a suggestion for a project we will be working on together that will give a lot of people some pleasure.”
                                    
After Memorial Day was over, I looked up the land records to see who the owners of the field behind the house were. It was a group of five businessmen. I approached the one who was an owner of a sports store.

“Hi, my name is Ed Rawlings and I live on New Hope Avenue. I was interested in the field behind the line of houses. It is growing up to brush. What are your plans for it?”

“Well we had some plans, but the economy took a downturn so it is just sitting there. We saved it from being developed, thinking it would be a good idea. At one time, we had an idea about making a park out of it. We got that idea from a person by the name of Tim Campbell. He was excited about it, but he died soon after talking with us. To be honest we do not know what to do with the property now.”

“No ideas at all?”

“No. We can’t build dwellings on it so our options are limited. Are you interested in buying?”

“I might be. Is it for sale?”

“I would have to talk to the other owners, but I think we would sell. It will be a disappointment to let our grand idea fail.”

“Why don’t you find out what you want to do? I’ll call you in a couple of days.”

“Okay. You said you live on New Hope Avenue. Is that correct?”

“Yes. I have a couple of kids who walk in the field. They love it there.”

Thea was getting lunch when I came in. “Mrs. Rawlings, we have to talk.” I made this statement. We had started conversations like this before. It was I who initiated it this time. Thea remembered.

“Wow, this must be serious. What’s up?”

“Thea, was Tim ever involved at all with anything concerning the field?”

“Not really. He talked to the group a few times. He was extremely pleased when he learned the field was saved from development. I think he wanted to be involved, but we didn't have any money, so all it amounted to was a dream. Why?”

“I just talked to one of the owners. He is disappointed that they don't have the money to go forward with it as well. From what he told me, the whole idea came from your husband. The idea to buy it and to make a playground was actually Tim’s from the beginning.”

“I didn’t know he was that involved. I must have picked up on it when I made the suggestion to you.”

“I would say so.” I paused for a few minutes, not saying anything. Thea was watching me expectantly. “Thea, this changes things. The men who own the property most likely all have children. You have two, or I should say we have two as I am claiming them now. I get the feeling Tim was thinking of them when he was looking to change the use of the field.

“Let’s get everyone together and form a new group. Me with the financing, you with Tim’s idea, and the five men who actually saved the land until the project could be started.”

“But what about it being a memorial to your wife and children and Mr. and Mrs. Akita?”

“We can make the memorial as big as we want with all the names we want on it, can’t we? Wouldn’t you like to have Tim honored? Matt and Nancy would.”

“Ed, you are a kind, generous person, but I already knew that. I think this is a great idea.”

Two years later.

I was sitting on the patio in the back of the house. I was watching a women’s soft-ball game. The men's playing field was on the far side. Young and old were using the whole field alike. There were four tennis courts and all occupied. Thea and Mary were playing on one court. They both were trying to get their figures back after the birth of the babes sleeping in the two carriages in front of Tom Reed and me.

I looked fondly on my son and on my nephew. Both had wisps of red hair. You had to look closely to tell which boy was mine. Their ages were only two weeks apart. Nancy came out of the new addition on the back of the house. “Pop, I’ll watch little Timothy if you want to walk over and come back with Mom. Both Mom and Aunt Mary are finished. Look how slowly there are playing.”

“Watch little Tommy too, then Tom can go with me.”

“Go, Pop.” Nancy had taken to calling me Pop. I had never said, but that is how my daughter Chicky had addressed me.

Tom and I walked down and through the entrance to the park. It was two huge blocks of granite. They formed a gateway that you could drive through and onto the field. Rising from the center of each stone were an anodized aluminum column. Over the roadway, I had a framed sign of foot high brass letters that spelled out “Tsunami Park.” Ordinarily this would have been of cast iron but I deemed it too brittle. Each granite block had a flattened section that held a square brass sign that stated that the park was financed with money from the estates of the Akita family.

In Memoriam 
 ******************
 Ichirou Akita I
Mei Akita
Amaya Akita Rawlings
Chieko Akita Rawlings
Ichirou Akita Rawlings II
*******************
Died in the Japan
Tsunami
March 11, 2011

The other stone had a matching sign stating that development of the park had involved the five original owners,( Listed) Timothy Campbell, one with a vision, and Edward Rawlings and wife, Theadora.

Tom and I drifted over to the tennis courts and found our wives hot and sweaty. Just then, Matt ran up with his skateboard and wanted to have me watch him. I said okay and started over toward the section. “Not today, Dad, I’m bushed. I’ve been out here for hours.”

“That’s good. I’ll want another beer as soon as I get home.” We stopped and watched the little kids playing on the playground equipment. Many of the parents waved to us.

Tom and I went about putting meat on the grill. Mary and Thea took showers and as soon as the babies woke up, they excused themselves, went inside, and nursed them. After we ate, Mary and the two Toms went across the street and home.

Thea and I were sitting on the patio swing. She had Timothy sleeping in her arms. “Happy, Ed?” Thea asked.

“Decidedly so. I have just completed the second year of teaching which I enjoyed. I have a new son to go along with my new family. We have enlarged our home so it is comfortable. We have done everything to show respect to those of my previous family.”

I sat quietly reflecting. Thea spoke again, “Ed, I have a question that has bothered me a little. Can you tell me why you have the funeral urns on that special niche you had constructed in our entryway? At one time you said you would never do that and intended to have them buried in the base of the memorial stone.”

“It was you three who helped me make up my mind to change. After we spread the ashes on the water that first time camping, we put the urns on the shelf in the living room. I was in the kitchen one day and I heard you speaking. I looked in and you were dusting.

“You were holding Amaya’s urn in your hands speaking just as if you were talking to her. Nancy comes in and usually if no one is around says, ‘Hi Chicky,’ when she passes by. Matt never says anything, but he often puts his hand on Itchy’s urn if he thinks no one is around. Me, well I always get a warm feeling looking at them. No way was I going to bury them in the base under a cold grey stone.”

“Ed, I’m glad we didn’t have to convince you to keep them here. You have told us so much about your family, we have come to feel we know them. Now we are all a part of your life.” Thea leaned over and kissed me.

There were tears in my eyes--tears of love, and happiness. You would not ever find these in a sad song.

The End