I Walked Away

I Walked Away 

 happyhugo

Copyright © 07/06/2014

Romance, Cheating, Drama

25,283 words

Readers score  7.26

Kim and Horace are a married couple who cheat on each other. She always has, and he is driven to it and walks away. They have children. First these live with their mother and then they live with him. Things come together, although it does take years for happiness to touch all.

Chapter One

I sat looking out the window. I was about to make a move that was for me totally uncharacteristic. I knew my wife would be home soon. I used to enjoy watching her get out of her car after she backed it into the driveway. Often I would get a flash of leg high up. I told her about it one time. That was a killer. Now she swung both legs out at the same time and always held her skirt down.

Kim, as I called her although she wanted to be addressed as Kimberly, was still a beautiful woman at thirty-three. She was smart and confident as a business manager in an office of a firm that sold house wares. She first went there as a secretary and soon became more than that. She was on a fast track on moving up and the raises came frequent and high as she took over much of the management. I might have been worried, but the owner was an older friend of my parents.

Me, I was a writer of articles and essays. I wrote for magazines, newspapers, radio or whatever. I made a decent living, but nothing spectacular. At the end of the year, Kim’s salary totaled more than mine and hers was steady. When the kids came, she worked until the last minute before their birth and returned to work as soon as possible. We hired a nanny part time and I was often around anyway. The nanny lasted until the kids went to school.

I didn’t mind. Mostly I was home while the kids were growing up. Now there was Randy at eleven and there was Sammy at thirteen. I was a presence in the house if needed. I did most of the cooking and some of the housekeeping. I worked at home and it needed doing. I suppose after a few years it was expected that it would continue along this vein. Kim never made an offer of relieving me of the chores. I wondered out loud a couple years ago that we should hire a regular housekeeper, but it never came to pass.

I loved my kids, and had their respect while Kim gave them their orders of what was expected of them. Kim, well I wanted respect from her, but …? If I asked the kids to do some little thing there was never an argument, but they always were uncomfortable if I showed them any affection. None of us were touchy-feely. According to Kim this wasn’t done.

I blamed her for this and I was never to lay a hand on her except during our regular and only session of the week, come Friday evening. Two years ago it had come to me, “God what a dull life I’m living.” A change in my life was called for and it started at the moment of this revelation.

Those were the thoughts of the past, but this was today. I was looking out the window for Kim to come home. No skin tonight either and it was two days until Friday. I put the prime rib roast on the table and shouted up the stairs to the kids. Kim came in. “Horace, Mom is coming over for dinner. Dad is out to the lodge.” I set another plate without answering. I could tell Kim was trying to pick a fight. “I know you don’t like my mother much, but will you be civil?”

I nodded as she continued, “I know you don’t say much, but your body language is too expressive. She has feelings, you know.” I nodded again.

The kids didn’t look up. Kim started to tell them about some patron who had come into her office. “He was old and not too clean. He needed a shave. He was in trying to get his bill reduced. Kids, you see what I have to put up with? I get these people to deal with when old man Calder isn’t around. He’s a push over and would give them what they want.

“Not me. They knew what the cost is before they took delivery. I’m thinking Calder may sell the business to me and if he does, things will be different. If not, maybe he will leave it to me when he kicks off.”

Mother Canaan was late. Randy sat bumping the table leg with his feet. Sammy sat staring into space twirling fingers through her hair. Kim kept rambling on about the type of people she had to deal with. I spoke, “I’m eating. The roast will be cold if we wait any longer.” I sliced the roast and dished up the mashed potatoes. I passed around the broccoli for a vegetable. I had warmed the rolls I made this morning.

The kitchen door opened. Etta looked unhappy that the plates were filled, although she had arrived before we took a mouthful. She was staring at me. She knew it had to be me who had pushed things along before she got here. I held her eyes and then dropped my gaze to her breasts for a minute. I looked up. I smiled and wiggled my eyebrows.

I had never done anything like this before. My mother-in-law was shocked and her face flamed. She sat quickly and took a sip of water. It went down the wrong way and she coughed. I jumped up and patted her hard on the back. Then I started rubbing her shoulders and let my hand come up so it was caressing her neck and brushing her ears. She shuddered. “Horace, don’t do that. What’s the matter with you tonight?”

“Nothing, Kim told me to be more familiar with you. I’m just being friendly.”

“I don’t like it! I can’t stand to have you touch me. I think you must be crazy.”

I laughed. “Everyone is a little crazy at times. I wrote an article one time trying to figure out why people do crazy things. I didn’t get much money for the article because I couldn’t find an answer.”

I let it go. The kids and Kim hadn’t seen anything but me trying to help her. Kim got up to get more water for her. When she turned away, I again let my eyes again drift down to Etta’s breasts. She crossed her arms over her chest and when I smiled this time she got up and ran out the door. Kim was shouting after her to come back and finish her meal. Etta kept on going shaking her head no.

Kim came charging back in accusing me of driving her mother away. Randy stuck up for me. “Dad didn’t say anything to grandma. She has been acting funny ever since she came in. She said Dad was crazy, but I think it is her who is crazy.”

“Don’t say your grandmother is crazy. Let’s eat and get this over with. I’ll take dinner over to her later.”

I finished eating. “Kim would you and Sammy clean up tonight? I have to do an interview in a half hour. I’m supposed to meet the person down at Pauli’s bar. I don’t know how long it will be before I get home.” I turned to Sammy. “I guess I’m feeling a little crazy after all. May I have a hug from my favorite daughter?”

“Dad, I’m your only daughter. You are acting almost as funny as Grandma.” She laughed and came and hugged me. I opened my arms to Randy. He stuck out his hand and I shook it as I patted his shoulder. I went into the kitchen where Kim was rinsing plates before loading the dishwasher.

“I’ll be home sometime. Maybe we should move our date night up to tonight. I’m feeling frisky.”

“No way in hell. You know the routine. Mom thinks you are crazy. I think you are too. Go on, leave. Acting like you are, I don’t know if you should come home at all.” I shrugged, grabbed my satchel and laptop. Pauli’s bar wasn’t far so I walked.

Yeah, I walked. I walked right by Pauli’s bar and two streets over where a taxi was waiting for me. The taxi took me out to the edge of the city where there were several motels along the strip. I got into the taxi as Horace Jonathan Henderson, married to Kimberly Henderson with two children, Randal and Samantha.

I got out of the taxi as Johnny Henderson, close friend of Arlene Anderson. She had a boy named Jacky Anderson. Two years ago and two days after I had the realization how dull my life was, I was sent on assignment to interview a new widow whose husband had died when his motorcycle crashed. I had seen the short news item about the accident in the newspaper a couple weeks before I was given the assignment … the hapless widow who was stuck far from home and nearly out of funds.

Arlene was seven months pregnant at the time, eight hundred miles from friends and with no family. Her husband had come here looking for work, but hadn’t found anything after being rejected by the concern who had promised him a position. I could make this into a real sob story. Everything was there.

“Mr. Henderson, you look enough like my husband to be his brother or you might even be him if you cut your hair the same way like was. It is scary.” Tears came and I lent her my handkerchief. It took three hours for her to tell me all about her and her husband’s life. Arlene was seven years younger than me and at present a lost soul.

As I left, I told her not to give up hope. I knew of a charity that would help her for a short time. “Let me write up the story and maybe it will raise some money to tide you over until things are better for you.”

“Is this part of your job?”

“No, but I want to help.” I wrote the articles asking for donations at the end of it. Money poured in when the wire services picked it up. There were many well wishers. One lady, Mona, opened her home to the pregnant widow. She was a woman who had lost her own daughter recently and needed a companion. Arlene accepted and as she neared her term, I requested that I be informed when the baby was born.

During this period I was feeling good about what I had done for her. I had seen Arlene just a few times after the initial meeting, the longest during the first interview. Arlene was now living with this elderly lady, Mona, waiting for the baby to arrive. It was thirty miles from the city where I lived. I could easily visit in an afternoon and return home for supper. When the call came in the middle of the afternoon about the baby coming, I left Kim a note that I had an interview in another city and wouldn’t be home that night.

I had little difficulty getting into the birthing room. I made it in time to hold Arlene’s hand as the baby was being born. When I declared I was her brother-in-law, Jack Anderson, they let me in. I was there when the baby was brought for his first feeding. I watched how the mother reacted to this new life that she was holding and later I sketched out the scene in words that were my stock in trade. Someday, I might be able to sell the story.

“Johnny, would you like to hold the baby before they take him back to the nursery?” I had two children of my own, but I had never had the chance to hold them. Hell, I had never been in a birthing room before. Kim had said it wouldn’t do.

Mona took care of Arlene and baby Jacky and I got to see them when I could get away from home. It was never more than a month between my visits. Was I in love with Arlene? Not really. I enjoyed being with her and I certainly loved the baby. This went on for several months, me visiting when I could. Something had to change.

                                                      ___________________

Two years went by. Mona had gone to visit a sister and would be absent for a week. Arlene asked if I could arrange to stay over for one night. “Johnny, I want to talk to you about my future. I’m going to be twenty-five soon and life is passing me by. I think you should think about your own future too. I know you aren’t happy at home.”

“Okay, I can get away for a few days. You must have something in mind. I’ve been having some thoughts along this same line. We’ll see what we come up with.”

“Would you kiss me before you leave? I’ve been waiting for months for a kiss from you.”

“You’re okay with kissing a man who is married?”

“I am. Please come here.”

Home and at dinner that night I announced I was going to be out of town for a few days. I didn’t make any excuses. Kim commented, “That’s fine with me. Dad will take the kids somewhere. He sure does care for our children. I’ll be busy myself.” There was no question asked about when I would be home.

That was it. There were no questions either about where I was going or even if this was related to my work. “I’ll be gone at least three days and three nights. I’ll be home when you get out of the office on Friday.”

“Why don’t you stay somewhere and come home on Saturday?”

“What about Friday night? That is our night together.”

“We’ll skip it this week.”

“We’ve been skipping a lot of Friday nights lately. It has been three weeks since we’ve been together.”

“Oh, Christ Horace, give it up. We have two kids. I don’t want to take the chance of slipping up and getting pregnant. I don’t care if we ever have sex again.”

“Damn it Kim, I’m in the prime of my life. I’m thirty-two and I’m not going the rest of my life without some loving.”

“Well, you’ll have to get it somewhere else then. You’ll get some from me when I feel like it and that’s it. I could change our night if you are that bad off, but you better damned well not count on it.” I stared at my wife. This was a first with her even changing our night for sex. I examined her face before she turned away. Was that a guilty look I saw? It seemed like it. I wasn’t happy with having this conversation in front of the kids either.

“Okay, Saturday night it is then. I’ll be home in the afternoon and take you out to dinner. Maybe we’ll take the kids and be a happy family.”

“No, my dad will have the kids, but you can take me out to dinner. We’ll talk about having sex after we get home.”

I left to be with Arlene late in the afternoon on Tuesday. It was a three-quarter hour drive to get there. Traffic was bad, so I didn’t arrive until eight. Arlene had on a beautiful top and skirt. She was much shorter than Kim. Her whole persona was different than my wife’s.

Arlene looked as if she enjoyed living and treated everyone she came into contact with respect and a smile. Mona, before she left had helped do her hair which was a nice shade of brown and curled around her face delightfully. Sometimes a stray lock fell over her eyes giving her a saucy air when she laughed.

Arlene’s upper body was compact with shapely breasts and hips that were a little wide. Her legs though, were long and nicely shaped. “You’re late, Johnny. Play with Jacky while I put dinner on the table.”

I was nervous. I surreptitiously watched Arlene as she bustled around. I asked, “Did Mona know I was coming to stay with you tonight?”

“Yes, and she said to give you everything you wanted. I told her that was the plan.”

“That’s good, but you must know I’m feeling guilty about this.”

“Of course you are, but I can make you happy and maybe you will forget your wife for a little while. I’m not demanding a commitment, but I do need some loving.” The evening went about as expected.

I found out that Arlene was a more sexual person than I was. She drove Kim from my mind and I experienced some things that I had only imagined. When Arlene got up to change the baby in the morning she said she would be right back, I was hit with more guilt than I knew how to deal with. Talk about being conflicted.

After breakfast, Arlene asked, “Are you sorry about this?”

“In one way I am. I will say I have felt real love for the first time in my life and it is with you. The problem is, I have never cheated on Kim before and it is bothering me more than I expected.”

“Johnny, I’m sorry for being the cause of your guilt. Is it possible to go back to being friends the way we were?”

“I don’t think so and it would be too late anyway. I’ve found you the sweetest person. It is like opening up a box of chocolates. I have eaten one piece and I want another. I do need to cool it until I can get comfortable with the idea of how wonderful you are.”

“You say the sweetest things. I’m not sorry I pressured you for love either. You have an idea of what I want, but I’m willing to wait. I’ll leave it in your hands from now on.” She handed me the baby and I bounced him on my knee as he giggled with excitement.

We talked about our lives in more depth the rest of the day. I found out what her life with her husband had been like. They had been married four years. He was an itinerant carpenter, she following him from one job to another. Arlene still had the van that pulled his motorcycle on a trailer. It was old, but I had had it serviced for her when I did the first interview. It was parked on the side of the garage next to Mona’s house and was rarely driven.

The trailer for the bike had been sold shortly after moving here since it was in the way. We put the baby in a baby carriage and walked down to the convenience store. While walking, I told Arlene more of what my life was like married to Kim.

“You’re wuss. If we get into a long-term relationship, you will have to step up and be a full time partner with me. I’ll make suggestions, but I won’t make demands … well no more than I did last night and even then it will be your decision. I expect the same of you.”

“I’m working on it. I am here aren’t I? Let’s say this is me learning to jump the fence and for me it is me feeling wild, although I’m feeling guilty about making love to you.”

“I’m not surprised. You know you are going to have to settle things with your wife before we get too involved. From everything you have told me, I expect you are thinking about going for a divorce.”

“I’m thinking about it. The only problem is I have no grounds.”

“Are you sure? I mean no woman would treat you like she does if she didn’t have someone else.”

“I’ve never considered that she would cheat on me and I can’t believe she would.”

“You know her, I don’t. Johnny, why don’t you talk to her about your feelings? Maybe it is something that can be fixed.”

“What about you and me? We have had sex. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

“It means a lot, but it isn’t enough to break up your marriage over.”

That was a month ago. No, what Arlene said about the sex that I felt so guilty about was not enough to break up a marriage. It was Kim who broke up our marriage. The day I returned from my three day hiatus, I contacted a private investigator. Three days later I had pictures in my hand of Kim and another man. I couldn’t see the man’s face, but it was quite evident what he and my wife were doing.

I guess I was going to miss my sometime Friday night date that was coming up this week. I would miss it anyway because Kim was to be served papers Friday morning at work. When she came home that evening, Kim accused me of having a mid-life crisis, but didn’t seem too upset about being served. I hadn’t said anything about the investigator’s report. I was saving that for when Kim gave me problems in the divorce. She surprised me by agreeing immediately to my terms.

I don’t know if I had thought through this move very well. I had two children and I loved them. I was leaving them, though knowing they would be cared for. My parents and Kim’s father would see to them. I just wouldn’t be a presence in their lives any longer. I would have visitation. Would it be enough … not likely!

I knew I could write, but being an unknown author wasn’t as easy to catch on as one who was already published. I wasn’t ready to tell the world I was living under a different name. I had the feeling that Horace wouldn’t do at all. I was glad to rid myself of it anyway. (Horace, Horace, vampire Boris) had started in first grade. Time would tell.

I had taken the money from my personal account, which was considerable. What was the more valuable were the fiction stories that were stored on my laptop. I had shown a couple of these stories to one of the editors who did some work for a major publisher and she agreed that my work would sell. The stories would be published under my shortened name, Jay Henderson. No more Horace for me.

That might make a big difference. I didn’t want to use my full name to start until my life had settled down. There was the divorce and then I wanted to deal with Sammy and Randy. So far they didn’t seem too upset with me leaving and were handling it all well. It is hell when your kids can see how their mother treats their father.

Mona, the woman who owned the home where Arlene was living, decided she would go live with her sister. She gave me a good price on her home and I used my money to buy her house. Arlene came with it. I did go now by the name of Johnny Henderson. For all intents and purposes, people assumed I was married to Arlene. Over the period of a few months Arlene told me all about her husband.

Did Arlene and I marry … no we didn’t. Jacky was legitimately named for his father because Arlene had been pregnant when he died. Anyone would swear looking at different pictures of Arlene and I together that it was of me that was her husband. He was dead though. The only discernible difference was that I appeared to be aging much faster than Arlene.

What was my situation with my own children? It was complicated. Kim had custody of course and I had given up my share of the house in lieu of not having to pay but minimal child support. Kim immediately sold the house and moved the family in with her parents, Etta and Henry Canaan. Kim was now free of all her responsibilities.

Sammy, my now fifteen-year-old daughter, couldn’t get along with her grandmother, Etta, and soon not with her mother either. This happened when Sammy had a friend visit. Things got pretty tense when Kim’s lover came to pick up Kim. Sammy’s friend, staying over, realized it was her father who was seeing Kim and cheating on her own mother. Kim blamed Sammy for her misstep so my daughter started spending more and more time with my father and mother, Samuel and Delores. She eventually moved her things over there into the room where I had grown up.

Randy didn’t really care where he lived. He was happy as long as he had good food and could be out on his skateboard. He had been practicing his ollie and nollies combined with several flips. It scared the crap out of me when he did some slides and grinds. He had mapped out a route between his two sets of grandparents’ homes. He found places to do all of these tricks between the two places. Just kicking, he could go from one home to the other faster on his board than it could be driven by auto.

My father, Sam, was into woodworking for a hobby, and Henry, Kim’s father, was into fishing. Randy, intelligent and inquisitive, was happy because now he always had something to interest him.

Back when we were together as a family, I suppose I neglected Randy because I would be writing and that was something that he couldn’t be involved in. Both kids were happy because my father and Henry had been friends all of their lives and continued to be while focusing on the two kids. I did know they missed being with me.

I didn’t see Randy and Sammy so much right after the divorce. The stipulation was that I could see them every other weekend. Kim called me when her troubles began with Sammy. I came up on a Wednesday evening and talked with her. This became a standard evening to visit. Then one weekend when I wasn’t supposed to be able to see them, Kim called again for me to take them out. Soon I was seeing them on a regular basis twice a week. It was I who suggested Sammy go stay with my parents.

“Dad, we now see more of you than Mom sees of us. Grandma Etta wishes Mom would move out and Randy wants to be with me.”

“Okay Sammy, I’ll see if I can arrange to have you both move in with me. I bought a house awhile ago. There will be room for both of you. I’ll talk to your mother about it.”

I called Kim for a meeting. She readily agreed and offered to pay some support. She didn’t realize that I was doing much better with my writing and I didn’t say anything about how my financial situation had improved either.

Not only that, Arlene had always been interested in Chinese artifacts and had contacted an importer. Most of these items were cheap stuff and I suspected they might be knock-offs of the some real quality merchandise. There was a market for her in discount and dollar stores.

She set up shop on the internet and soon had a fine little business going. Basically she was a salesperson and all the items were drop-shipped by the importer. One large room on the first floor was made into an office. Both our endeavors were quiet, me on the computer writing and she on another computer selling. It was quite companionable. For now Jacky gurgled in his bed happily for the most part, and we both tended to him when he demanded attention.

For ourselves, we were friends with benefits. We didn’t feel the need to sleep in the same bed, but if we felt like it at odd times, we obliged each other and returned to what we were doing when satisfied. I never mentioned to my family that I lived with a woman. That had to change when I made the choice of having Sammy and Randy with me.

The last Wednesday before school was out for the year, I went to visit my parents and imparted where I lived, both to my kids and to Mom and Dad. Henry came in while I was explaining, so he also became aware of my owning a house. “This Sunday afternoon I am having a cookout in my back yard so you can see where Sammy and Randy will be living. Henry, I suppose I should invite Etta if you drive down with my father and mother.”

“Naw, she wouldn’t be interested. I won’t even say anything to her. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”  This suited me fine.

“Horace, what can I bring?”

“Mom, maybe a pie or cake.”

“Okay. We will come early and help you set up.”

“Not necessary. I have a covered patio and I use it a lot. Everything is ready to go all the time. One other thing I need to bring up. Mom, could you start calling me Johnny? I’ve kind of dropped the name of Horace.”

Dad injected, “It’s about time. I’ve always hated the name.”

“Why did you name me Horace, then? Where did the name come from anyway?”

“Ask your mother?”

“Mom?”

“You had a great uncle named Horace. He gave your father and me some money when we were in dire straights when we first married. Your brother was sickly before you were born and we got behind. I had to promise to name my next child Horace if it was a boy. Sorry about that. He’s dead now so the name can be too.”

“When is my brother getting out of the service? It is supposed to be this year isn’t it?”

“I think so. You do know Fred never tells us anything?”

“I know, Mom.”

Mom stated, “I’ll have to ask Kim. She has been corresponding with him.” This was news to me. There was silence and everyone looked at me. I had to ask.

“He has been seeing her?”

“He was home six months ago for a few days. Kim went out with him.”

“That’s nice. I haven’t seen him but once or twice in the last few years. Has he been here other times when I didn’t know he was in town?”

“He has been coming home several times a year for the last few. I really don’t know how often.”

“Where has he been staying?”

Henry spoke up. “Lately he stays with Etta and me. I don’t like it, but Etta and Kim told me to keep my mouth shut. Many times your father and mother didn’t know he was in town either, so don’t blame them.”

“I guess it is nothing to me then.” It only took a moment for me to figure out why this was kept from me.

I looked at Sammy. She said, “I knew he was here the last time and it wasn’t six months ago either. I think it is awful what Mom and Uncle Fred are doing to you, but I wasn’t supposed to say anything. That is why I couldn’t get along with Mom and Grandma Etta and ended up living here.”

“Well, this is something to think about. I going to head home and I’ll see you all on Sunday. I hope the weather stays good. Give me a hug Sammy and I’ll be going.”

“Aren’t you staying for supper?”

“Not tonight, Mom. Make that a strawberry rhubarb pie on Sunday. That’s my favorite.” I closed the door behind me. Before I reached my car, I heard a lot of raised voices. I drove slowly away with a jumbled mind.

Arlene knew something had happened this afternoon and questioned me. “It is nothing, really. I just found out that my ex-wife was cheating on me for longer than I was aware. My family knew and kept it from me. I hate being made a fool of. I’ve invited most of them for a cookout this Sunday so you can meet them. Randy and Sammy will be staying here for good. Can we get some salads and things together? I’ll do hamburgers and hotdogs.”

“Sure Johnny. Do you want to talk about what is bothering you?”

“No, it is too personal.” I had a lot on my mind. It came to me. I had never examined the pictures taken by the private investigator two years ago. They were in a little fire safe in my bedroom. I had never used them or shown them to anyone. Kim hadn’t fought the divorce so there was no need to display them.

I examined the photos closely before I went to bed. It didn’t take but a minute to recognize that it was my brother who was doing my wife. Fred had a big boil on his back when he was seventeen. It was lanced, but became infected and was difficult to heal. It left a noticeable scar. It was very faint after so many years, but I could still identify it.

So now I knew my wife had been cheating on me with my brother. That must be why the divorce was granted so easily. Neither she nor my brother wanted the facts of her adultery to be fully disclosed. Kim’s parents were aware, and I suspect my family became aware after Kim and I were divorced. Well screw them!

This was my first thought, but then I didn’t know as I wanted to become estranged from my parents and I liked Henry, my ex father-in-law. I certainly didn’t want my two kids to end up hating their mother, either.

My brother was older than me by four years so I didn’t know him that well. He had made the military his career. I used to see him when he was home on leave, but not so much in the last few years. Kim may have been the reason for that. He would come to town, but not to see me. I wondered if they were supposed to be in an exclusive relationship. Maybe, maybe not. They were cheating on me and it appeared they were on each other from what Sammy had told me about when Kim dated one of her friend’s father.

I tossed and turned half the night. I heard Arlene coming up the stairs and then down the hall to my room. The door opened. “Johnny, are you sleeping?”

“No, just lying here with my mind going round and round.”

“Can I get in bed with you so we can talk?”

“Please.”

“Tell me about what went on today. I know you are upset.”

“I am. First of all, are you okay with Sammy and Randy coming here to live? Sammy doesn’t get along with her mother and grandmother. Kim’s parents want Kim to move out as well. Randy can’t stay there. Sammy has been staying with my parents, but I would like both of them to live here with me. Kim has all ready agreed to this.

“I also figured out from some pictures I have that it is my brother who has been screwing Kim and I suspect it has been going on for years. I don’t know how I’ll act when I meet him again. I feel Kim and he have no respect for me and I feel terribly humiliated. I have no idea which one is the more to blame, but they both are guilty. At least she isn’t anymore faithful to my brother than she was to me. But then I’d still like to shoot the bastard.”

“Johnny, don’t think like that. I would lose you. Think what it would do to your family?”

“You’re right of course, and it would about kill Mom. I guess I will have to continue to ignore the past and make believe I don’t know. It will be damned difficult, though.”

“I know it will and you shouldn’t have to. Johnny, as long as I’m here and we are both awake, I could use a little cuddling.”

“You know what happens when you suggest cuddling, don’t you?”

“I do and that was the whole idea. Johnny, don’t worry about your brother. You haven’t seen much of him for twenty years. So he did you wrong, put it behind you. Maybe it was Kim who was all to blame and you are handling that okay.”

“It’s behind me and you’re in front of me. Be prepared.” I did just as Arlene had suggested. I put my brother and Kim out of my mind. She saw to it in a way only she could do.

---

I was excited about my family finally meeting Arlene. After Jacky was born, she had worked hard to get her figure back. She claimed her butt was too big, but it looked fine to me. She now was having her hair styled and she had a fine, flawless complexion. Her breasts, now that she had stopped nursing had returned to their former resiliency, bouncing just slightly when she moved around.

I was sitting, having my second cup of coffee. “Johnny, you keep looking at me.” She paused then said, “No, that isn’t right, it is more that you are facing me and looking right through me. What’s on your mind?”

“Maybe I was looking through you and didn’t realize it. You were on my mind, though. If I was brave enough to ask you something, would you answer me truthfully?”

“I would.”

“Arlene, we’ve been living together now for two years. We certainly get along together and we help each other all the time like you helped me last night.”

“Um, anything else?”

“Well, I love Jacky as much as I love Randy and Sammy. They will be living here with us. Given your temperament, I think you can get along with them. I could wait to ask, but I’d kind of like to know something before they get here. I think of you all the time and you have made me a very happy person since we’ve known each other. That said, I want you to be happy too and I don’t want you to say yes if you think you won’t be. I was thinking maybe we should get married.”

“Johnny, that’s about as lukewarm a proposal of marriage I have either read about or ever heard. Can’t you do a little better?”

“Okay, see if this would work? Arlene May Anderson, would you consent to marry me?” I took an engagement ring out of my pants pocket, hiding the fact that I had it in my hand.

“Johnny, that’s why I love you because you are always thinking of ways to make me happy. When did you plan on us getting married?”

“Soon. I don’t want Kim to renege on her promise to let me have the kids. She could make trouble if she realizes I am living with an unmarried woman. With two underage children in the house Social Services might object. I did buy your ring more than a month ago. That was before I even felt I had a chance of having Sammy and Randy with me. It is now just a little more imperative that we marry.”

“Johnny, thank God for them coming here and pushing you to ask me to be your bride. I would have married you anytime even before Jacky was born, if you had asked. I’ve loved you that long.”

“Great. We’ll go get our license next week. I’ll be asking Randy to stand up with me.”

“Good, if Sammy likes me, I’ll ask her to be my maid of honor.”

“That would make my day. They haven’t had much real home life lately. Being involved in our wedding should make them feel welcome and good about moving in with us.”

“Johnny, I’ll do my best. You do know we could go get that license today don’t you?”

“Do you want to get married on this Sunday?”

“No, of course not. Sammy will need a dress to wear and I might buy a new one for myself. Sunday would be too soon. Besides she and I have to get to know each other.”

“Whatever works for you, certainly works for me.”

                                                  ______________

Sunday morning I was up early getting things ready on the patio. I knew it would be hot and I wanted to make sure the power awning worked okay. It did. I was pretty nervous. Had I made a mistake by not telling my family about Arlene and Jacky before this? I hadn’t thought so, but now I had to face the fact they were going to be surprised and come down on me for being so private in my life.

Dad believed in never being late and I had said to come for one o’clock. I expected him and Mom with the kids a little after noon. I was puttering around in the back yard. I had been chasing Jacky. At three years he was as active as a three-year-old could be. I was holding the struggling boy in my arms.

I looked up when I realized that I had company. Mom asked, “Who is the child? Is the boy yours?”

“No Mom, his name is Jacky Anderson. He and his mother live here with me. Go through the door into the kitchen. You’ll meet Arlene where she is making up salads.” Mom looked disgusted at me and went inside. Randy and Sammy came toward me. Sammy hugged me, squeezing Jacky between us. This made Jacky laugh.

“Got a kiss for me?”

Jacky puckered up and Sammy got a sloppy kiss. Then he struggled to get down, saying, “Tag, tag.”

“We have been playing tag. He wants you to play with him.” Soon Randy, Sammy, and Jacky were racing around the yard having a great time. I hadn’t had a chance to greet dad until now. “Hi Pop, you found the place okay?”

“Yeah. I thought you lived alone.”

“No. I met Arlene sometime ago. I moved here and bought the house when I divorced Kim. The house belonged to an elderly lady and Arlene was staying with her. I guess you could say Arlene came with the house. It has been a good arrangement for both of us.” Just then Mom and Arlene came out.

Arlene came right up to Dad saying, “You are Sam Henderson, Johnny’s father. I’m Arlene Anderson. I can see you have met my son, Jacky.”

“I’m pleased to meet you, Miss. Your son is a lively little boy.”

“He is that. Actually I’m not Miss, but a Mrs. and sad to say a widow. I was pregnant when my husband died in an accident. At the time I was also destitute and broken-hearted. Johnny came to my rescue by setting up a site for donations in my husband’s memory. I used that to live on. A nice lady who needed a companion gave me a place to live until Jacky was born.”
 
“And where is the lady now?”

“She went to live with her sister. This was about the time that Johnny was having troubles at home. When he divorced, he moved here with me after buying this home from her. I have a little sales business he helped me start and he continues to write. He really is becoming quite a famous author.”

Dad turned to me. “I thought your writing was to magazines and newspapers?”

“Dad, I still do a little writing of articles, but now I’m pretty much a fiction writer. I have three novels published and write short stories for three different monthly magazines. The novels are a series with the same main characters.”

Dad stared at me and then asked, “You’re not that Jay Henderson I read about that who received a whopping advance for his fourth book, are you?”

I grinned, “I guess I’ll admit that I am. I also received a contract to write a total of six books with these characters and then begin a new series with different characters.”

Arlene looked at me. “Johnny, you know what your family likes to drink. Would you bring out the cooler and we will sit and relax before we start to eat. I understand there is one more person coming?”

Mom answered, “Yes, Henry Canaan, Horace’s father-in-law.”

“Mom, it’s Johnny, not Horace. You agreed, remember?” My mother smiled and nodded. This let me know that she wasn’t above getting back at me for keeping quiet about Arlene. It also let me know that she had found Arlene to her liking.

As I walked away, Arlene was telling my parents that this was the first time she had ever heard me come anywhere near bragging about my writing. God, I felt good.

Randy and I brought out the cooler. I had beer, ale and soda pop. Jacky grabbed a bottle of ale when I opened the cooler, and cried when Arlene took it away from him. It was the pretty green bottle that attracted him. “Okay Jacky, take a taste, but you won’t like it.”

“Will too.” Arlene didn’t reply, just snapping the top off as he held it. He tipped it up and took a swig. He spit out and dropped the bottle. He started crying when it broke and came running into my arms.

“Tell Mommy you’re sorry for not listening to her. Can you go get the dust pan so she can pick up the glass?” He scrambled out of my arms and ran into the house with the door banging after him. He came out saying he was sorry.

“Now, would you like some orange soda?”

“Yes Mommy.”

Just then Henry came around the side of the house. Etta was following him. I stood up and shook his hand. Etta didn’t know how to approach me. I suspected she didn’t know if she was welcome or not. I turned and opened my arms. “Mother Canaan, I’m glad you came. It has been a long time since we’ve seen each other. You are just in time to hear of some plans I have. I’ve been waiting until Randy and Sammy got here. Now that they are, I can share with you.

“First though, Henry and Etta, I’d like you to meet Arlene Anderson, and her son Jacky. Arlene, this is Etta and Henry Canaan, my mother and father-in-law and Randy and Sammy’s grandmother.”

I was surprised to see Etta. I would make nice although I remembered her as being difficult. The afternoon was going so well I didn’t want any trouble. Was Etta curious about me and where I lived, or was she just making sure her grandchildren had a good place to stay now that I had taken custody?

“Oh, I’m pleased to meet you. I didn’t realize Horace had a woman in the house. Is the little boy his?”

“No, he isn’t the father. I’m a widow. I’ll have to tell you how we met. Also he has dropped the name of Horace and goes by Johnny now.”

“Thank God for that. My daughter hated the name and I’m afraid she came to hate him as well. I hope you can make him happier than she did.”

Arlene didn’t answer Etta, looking at me. “Johnny, you can tell them now.”

“Okay sweetheart. First everyone, I have asked Arlene to become my wife and second, now that Randy is here, I would like him to stand with me. We are planning to be married two weeks from yesterday. There will be no honeymoon at present, but later sometime in the fall.”

Arlene spoke, “Sammy, I know we have just met, but we have two weeks to get to know each other. I’d like it very much if you would be my maid of honor.”

Sammy looked thrilled. “I’d love to. Oh, but I don’t have a thing to wear to a wedding.”

“You will, dear. You are going to have a beautiful gown. I have to buy one during the week and you can help me pick it out. We will get you one at the same time.”

Dad laughed. “You’re a typical woman, Sammy. The first thought is how to get a new dress.” Mom playfully punched him.

Etta asked, “Where is the ceremony being held?”

“Near here. Four houses down the street there is a small church. The padre is a friend of ours. We will have it held in the church in front of the altar. There will be an organist to play music while we walk down to the front, this is all. Nothing complicated. Arlene wanted to be married in a church this time around. It will be simple but nice. Mom, Dad, Henry and Etta, would you like to be there with us?”

Mom didn’t hesitate. “Try and keep us away.”

Henry looked at Etta, “We’ll be there, count on it.”

This was the first time in years that I was having a conversation with my mother-in-law. She had changed somehow. While married to Kim, it seemed as if she didn’t think much of me and more like I was less than a man. Maybe it was because I always deferred to Kim. Now though, she appeared glad to be in my company. She even seemed taken with Arlene.

It also could be because she saw that Sammy and Randy were happy. They were still chasing after Jacky. I choked up a little. I had never in my whole life seen my two kids as happy as they were right now.

I got the grill hot and started the hamburgers. Jacky had tired himself out, and fell asleep after the first three bites of his hotdog. Sammy asked, “Arlene, may I take him up to bed?”

Mom and Etta wanted to go too. “Guys, it looks as though we are the ones with the hot food. I’ll cook more when they come back.” Randy dove in without hesitation. When the women returned, I explained about Arlene and my life together. Well most of it anyway. I might have fudged the timeline of our first intimacies a little. Arlene smirked, but that was fine.

After lunch, Arlene showed them her business and how she operated. They were impressed when she showed them the tallied amount she had taken in for the month. “That’s the gross and the cost eats up 55%, but still I have a good income.”

“How did you get started?”

“I answered an ad for a list of home businesses that you could start with $1,000 or less. This buying over the internet was something I picked to try. Johnny wanted to give me the money, but I didn’t want that. He was my friend and if this didn’t fly, I was afraid it would come between us. Anyway, for my birthday, he gave me $100 and that’s what I started with. It was slow going at first, but it is compounding now by leaps and bounds.

“This is all great. I’m working at home where I can be with Jacky. I’ve held my own with the cost of running our home. And then there is Johnny. He is awful slow sometimes. I didn’t think he was ever going to make love to me.”

“Let me say something in my own defense here. You have to remember that Arlene was widowed a few weeks before I met her. I could tell she loved her husband and needed time. I certainly wasn’t going to hit on her under these circumstances. I wanted her to get well beyond her husband before I made a move. And Jacky, the nurse handed him to me as soon as he was examined when he was born. This was before he was given to his mother to nurse.

“I may be slow, but I wanted to be sure I was making the right decision when I do make a move. I felt a lot of guilt and I didn’t want to feel I was trading one woman for another. Kim made it easy for me by not acting as if she wanted me any longer. When I resolved that in my mind, it was time to open up my heart for someone else to enter.

“Arlene says I am slow, but I felt she was aware I never would’ve left her at anytime. There was always Randy and Sammy to consider too. How would they feel if I had up and married another woman right off soon? Their grandparents have been great, but it’s not like having a mom and dad to love and care for them.

“When I saw that it was possible for both to come and live with me, I knew it was time to give them a stepmother. So I may be slow, but I do get the job done.”

I looked at Arlene. She had tears in her eyes. “Johnny, I think I understand you more and better as time goes on. That was beautiful. Everyone, can you see why I said yes when he asked me to marry him?”

When a woman looks at you like Arlene just had, you can’t doubt their love. For a fleeting moment, I examined my memories. Kim had never looked at me with such love. What I was seeing here came from the heart, not just the eyes. I blushed.

I quickly turned attention to the area across the room where I did my writing and it was another chance for me to brag a little more. I was bragging to bolster my image in Sammy and Randy’s eyes. There was one other in the group who I wanted to impress as well. I got along with Henry well enough, but Etta Canaan had always looked down on me. I never could figure this out.

She appeared nervous around me at times and sometimes I would catch her staring at me. She very seldom had addressed me directly and I had known her for sixteen years. The last two years, not at all. When I traveled to visit my kids after the divorce, she kept from sight. I might speak to Kim if she was in, but usually the children were ready at the door for me to take them out. Today though, Etta was treating me like a normal person and acted almost as if she liked me.

Chapter Two

It was time for the grandparents to leave. There were some tears from the two grandmothers along with multiple hugs and kisses. Henry and Sam hugged Sammy and shook hands with Randy. My two children stood in the driveway watching them leave. They looked after the two vehicles for several minutes after they had passed from view.

They turned back, coming inside. Just then Jacky made it known he was awake. Famous for being fussy when first up from his afternoon nap, today he was surprised and happy to have someone other than their mother and me to pay attention to him. He hadn’t fully realized that the older kids were going to live here permanently.

He looked at Sammy and at Randy and then he smiled. “Oh boy, somebodys to play with.”

Sammy took over. “Come with me Jacky, you missed lunch. I’ll make you something to eat.”

“I have to go potty first. Can you wipe me?”

Sammy looked at me and I smiled, saying, “Have fun.”

“Thanks a lot, Dad.” Randy was standing behind me, not wanting any part of this.

Arlene took over. “You don’t mind do you, Sammy. Jacky will tell you what needs to be done and probably how to do it too. Randy, I have to complete a sale on my computer. Would you like to see how I handle it?”

“Yes, I would.”

“Johnny, could you get something for Jacky to eat? When we get free, we’ll get Sammy and Randy settled into their rooms.” An hour latter we trooped upstairs and started putting clothes away. Jacky was bouncing on the beds when we went into each room, making it difficult to make them up.

We went into my room and began to make up the bed. Sammy looked at me strangely. “Don’t you sleep with Arlene in her room?”

“I have on occasion. With you and Randy here, I didn’t know whether I should until after we were married.”

“Christ Dad, Randy and I would think it odd if you don’t. You’re single and so is Arlene. Mother wouldn’t hesitate for a minute. You should hear her and Uncle Fred go at it … he and the other men she brings home for that matter. Grandma used to scream at her about her lifestyle, but Mom just told her to shut up.”

“I didn’t know this.”

“We know. Mom said she would disown us if we told you. You are aware now, so we are off the hook. It bothered grandma so much she has been going to a therapist.”

“I did notice she was friendlier with me today. For Etta, it had to be a good move.” Nothing more was said. I wondered if Henry knew all about Etta and that she had gone to a professional for help? I wouldn’t imagine he did. He had to know what kind of a person Kim, his daughter was. Hell, I was the only one who had been clueless. I wonder if there was more to come out in the future. It didn’t matter that much anymore. Kim wasn’t my wife and I had Sammy and Randy living with me now.

I still had my brother Fred to deal with at some point. Even there it would be for the pain he had caused my mother and father, not so much for myself. Sammy and I left the bed unmade and we returned to the first floor taking my pajamas with me.

Wednesday Mom and Etta came down alone to go shopping for dresses. They were headed for a bridal boutique that had ready-made dresses. I said to Randy, “This is a big deal for the women. Let’s go get a suit for you. It will please Arlene immensely.”

“Okay Dad, I don’t have one. I’ll need one for school functions anyway.” We found a nice grey one for Randy in the men’s store and it was altered while we waited. I knew we would have time because women shopping together, they would be away most all day.

When we got back to the house there was a big Harley Davidson bike parked in the driveway. I was puzzled for I didn’t know anyone who rode. We got out of our car and I walked around to the back. There was this huge man sitting in one of the patio chairs. “Can I help you?”

“Maybe. You must be Johnny Henderson. Arlene called a friend of mine a couple of days ago to tell me she was getting married. I happened to be crashing there so I came by to check you out.”

“And you would be?”

“I’m Jimmy Stein, Arlene’s stepbrother.”

“Oh, she never mentioned she had a brother?”

“Well, that’s because I’ve asked her never to talk about me. I’ve been in trouble a lot and she doesn’t need me cluttering up her life. I love my little sister even though there is no blood between us and I just wanted to make sure she was picking a good man. I’ve been away for a spell, if you get my meaning, and haven’t been home long. I’m putting my life back together. The only thing I own is my bike. I won’t bother you none, but I would like to see her.”

“Well, stick around. She’ll be gone for awhile. The women are off buying dresses. This is my son Randy. My daughter, Sammy is with Arlene, and both with my mother and Etta, my ex-mother-in-law. They have Jacky, Arlene’s baby with them. Arlene has never said much about her life while growing up. You can fill me in.” I began to question Jimmy. “You must have known, Jack, Arlene’s husband?”

“I did. He was my bud and we rode together. Arlene was always on the back of my bike too, that is until she and Jack became a couple. They kind of dropped out of the bunch we rode with after they fell in love. Shortly before they headed this way, I got into a fight and got sent up for assault and haven’t been out very long. A friend kept my bike for me or I wouldn’t have anything.”

“That’s tough. What’s your line of work?”

“Bike’s, of course. They were my whole life before my trouble. Now it is difficult to find work in any of the shops around my area. I’m towel man working for tips in a car wash right now and I hate it. Are there any Bike shops around this area?”

“The only one I’m familiar with is in my old home town about thirty miles from here. They sell and service. I went to school with the owner. I’ll give you a note if you want.”

“You don’t know me. Why would you want to do that?”

“You don’t know me either and you’ve been open about your past. You’re Arlene’s brother and that’s good enough for me. You’ll be here for our wedding won’t you?”

“I don’t know. I’m pretty rough looking. All I have is jeans to wear and they aren’t too clean. I’d like to be there though.”

“Let’s go get you fixed up then. New shirt and new pants. Wear your leather vest. That looks good and that is who you are. Arlene will be pleased, I’m sure.” He hadn’t stood until now. He was huge. He looked eight feet tall even when I knew he wasn’t, but beside of my five-ten he towered over me.

“God man, I’m thinking Arlene lucked out.” We headed back into town and were still back before the women showed up. Jimmy was anxious about finding a job, so I wrote a note and sent him off to see if my friend would hire him. He left his new clothes in my old room lying on the bed. Randy asked to ride on behind him, but I thought that was a bit much and too soon and said no. We had to get to know this guy better before that was going to happen.

Arlene was excited about the wedding dress she had purchased when the women returned later that afternoon. Randy got Sammy aside and was filling her in about Jimmy. I heard him tell her he thought they might be able to ride on a motorcycle after they got to know Arlene’s brother better.

After Mom and Etta left I told Arlene that her brother was going to be here for our wedding. She ran and jumped into my arms, wanting to know where he was? “He is looking for work and will be back to stay here tonight. He will have my old room. Hope you don’t mind?”

“Johnny, you make me so happy. You must hate me for not telling you about Jimmy?”

“You can explain tonight after you see him. Actually he is so big I want to keep on his good side.”

“He is big, isn’t he? He is six feet-five inches and weighed two hundred and sixty pounds when I saw him last. I wonder if he has changed much. I haven’t seen him for almost five years. You got along with him okay? He was always protective of me.”

“Yeah, I think we did. Wouldn’t you say so, Randy?” Randy nodded.

“Good. We’ll have to get Randy and Sammy some motorcycle outfits to wear when they ride with him, that is if he finds work in the area.” Jacky was tired and snuggled into my arms and went to sleep.

It was two hours later when we heard the Harley coming slowly down our street. It coasted into the driveway. Randy and Sammy were looking out the window. “Dad, he is just sitting on the bike not moving. Must be he wasn’t hired.”

“I should have called instead of giving him a note for an introduction. Arlene, please go out and invite him in. You know there are several businesses he can apply to. Where I sent him isn’t the only one in the area. We are just about ready to eat and I imagine he is hungry. I hope he likes hotdogs, mac and cheese.”

“Oh he does. That is his favorite meal. Come on kids, go with me. I haven’t seen my brother for so long, I almost don’t know how to greet him and we were so close too.”

I admit I was curious to see them meet so I watched from the same window where Sammy and Randy had been standing. Maybe I was a little jealous as well. I needn’t have worried for they kissed, but it was on the cheek. I could see Arlene wiping happy tears from her eyes. Jimmy then turned to Sammy and greeted her with a handshake and shook Randy’s hand again. The group turned and trooped into the house. Arlene walked with her hand in his.

They came in. Jimmy walked right to me with his hand out. “Hey man, that is some shop you sent me to. You didn’t tell me it was full service. Greg tells me his clientele consists of mostly professional people.”

“Is Greg going to take you on?”

“Absolutely. He had a mechanic leave a month ago and has been advertising for a replacement. He didn’t just hire me. He interviewed me for over an hour. I told him I was a little rusty because I had been away from bikes for a few years. Then he asked me some technical details and said he would give me time to refresh what had been happening in the business.

“One other thing … that note you gave me is what got me hired. He said you knew people and seldom were wrong about anyone. I’m going to prove you weren’t wrong about me either. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Are you ready to eat? Arlene has made a casserole. I’ll get the beer.”

“Not for me, please. I don’t drink alcohol anymore.”

“I drink beer, but only as a food.”

Randy wasn’t dumb, just not wise in asking a question from our guest, but he was also curious. “Mr. Stein, what was it like being in prison?”

I shouted at him, “Randy, that’s none of your business?”

“That’s okay, Johnny. The boy should know and maybe it will keep him from future trouble and finding out about it some other way. First, son, call me Jimmy. I’d like that. I’ll tell you it isn’t fun being locked up. It wasn’t too bad in one way for me. Not like it was for smaller men. I’m big enough so I wasn’t pushed around by other prisoners. I also had the reputation I gained that brought me there.

“But then, I was used to being my own man and that was taken away from me. Before if something bothered me, or I wanted to think, I mounted my bike and went for a ride. I lived in a room two thirds smaller than your bedroom for at least twenty hours in the day. Later when I was assigned to a work detail, I was still there more than half the day.

“You had no choice but to eat what they fed you and you were told when, where, and what, to do and little variation even in that. You were told anyway, which was a way for the guards to belittle you if they didn’t like you or maybe if they were having a bad day at home. If you ever get the chance to visit a prison you can see this better than I can explain it. I did my time and got through it mostly by not fighting against the system.”

Sammy spoke up, “Can you tell us why you went to prison?”

“I can. You might as well know. I don’t consider myself a bad person, but then all prisoners will tell you they are innocent. Jack, Arlene’s first husband was my best friend and he fell in love with Arlene. Arlene was cute and pretty and all the gang we rode with vied for her affection. There was one difference in that she was a good woman not like some of the other women in our gang.

“There were four guys who got drunk and cornered Arlene and Jack. They were going to make her into a bad woman over Jack’s objection just like the rest of the women in the gang. I came onto the scene after the fight had started and Jack was getting the worst of it. One of the men was holding Arlene. I evened things up damned sudden.

“The end result is that I injured two of the guys pretty badly. One of the men was cousin to the local district attorney. The ensuing actions resulted in my drawing five years in the penitentiary.

“My so-called victims paid a bill too. One has a bad knee, now walking with a limp. The other man had a broken back. It has healed, but he is always in constant pain. The two who ran away were ostracized for not standing with their friends and have left the area.

“The last time I saw Arlene before today, I asked she and Jack to leave our home-town and never mention my name. I’ve paid my debt to society and now I am a free man. Of course there are certain things that have been taken away from me. I don’t have the right to vote, I can’t own a firearm and I have a record so I have to walk the straight and narrow for the rest of my life.

“It was with a lot of pleasure when I heard that my sister was getting married again. I didn’t know she had a little boy, although I did hear that Jack was killed in an accident and sis was a widow. Just today I found that I have a nephew. So I’m glad to be here to meet the man and his family Arlene is to marry. I haven’t had a home life for years. I first lost my mother and then both my father and stepmother, leaving only my sister to love me.

“I feel I am welcome here already and I will work hard to preserve the feeling. Wow, I do carry on don’t I? Does that answer your question about being in prison, Randy?”

“Yes.”

Arlene made the comment, “Jimmy, you sound a lot more educated than I remember?”

“Sis, I had time to serve. One of the trustees in the library was having some trouble with a couple of other inmates. A fierce look and a word from me quelled their desire to hassle him. He was a former high school teacher and was appreciative of my efforts on his behalf.

“He paid me back by teaching and advising me on what to read. He was even able through a request to the prisoner commission to get me a repair manual on motorcycles. That is why I felt confident enough to apply at the bike shop Johnny sent me to.”

“Being in prison wasn’t a total waste of time was it?”

“No Johnny, but I didn’t feel like a real man for five long years. Then I ran into people when I got out who didn’t believe I had paid my debt to society and closed most of the doors of opportunity in my face. I can well understand why men, when released, slide back into committing crime again.”

“With your attitude I doubt you will.”

“Thanks. It is people like you who can prevent that from happening. Hey, I think I have talked about me enough. Johnny, what is it that you do?”

I gave him my life story and Arlene filled in what her life had been like in the last few years. Jimmy then turned to Sammy and Randy. Although I would have been better pleased if Sammy hadn’t aired my troubles with Kim that brought about our divorce, I did get some insight of how it had affected her and Randy. Again I was proud of the two for handling it as well as they have. Both then stated that they were happy now they were living with me and Arlene.

This big old house sat on an acre lot. There was an old barn that still had a good roof on it near the back line. Just as it was getting dark all of us toured the grounds. Jimmy was interested in the barn, wanting to know what it was used for.

“It’s empty at present and not used at all.”

He was silent for a few minutes, but we could see him thinking. Finally he said, “May I rent it from you? I need a place to live and there is room in the loft to sleep. I could build a kitchenette and a little sitting room up there too. The stable could be made into a repair shop for a motorcycle or car. I could putter around on something. I don’t expect I’ll be having much social life and I won’t want to hang out in your home.”

“Go ahead and fix it up. I’ll give you the money to get started. Maybe Randy will want to hang around and learn something useful.”

“Deal.”

Later in bed Arlene and I talked. “You are treating my brother just as good as you always have treated me. I’m so proud of you. I’m proud of Jimmy too. He was a good man and still is. I know he can’t be any different. I owe him for saving me and Jack years ago and you are paying off my debt. I love you so much!”

“No more than I love you.” I couldn’t have done more to gain Arlene’s love then to accept her brother. A week from this Saturday, I was to be a married man again. I was looking forward to this marriage much more than I did my last one. I thought the last one was going to make me happy forever. It didn’t, but I knew this one would.

Jimmy went to work Monday morning. I asked him what time he would be home for supper. “Oh, don’t hold supper for me. I’ll pick up something.”

“No, you’re family. Besides, Arlene wants you to take her for a ride when it is cool in the evening. Sammy and Randy will want their time on the bike in the days to come.”

“Okay. Sis and I did have some sweet times touring. You’re sure you won’t mind?”

“My idea.”

Monday it was Arlene and then Tuesday it was Randy wearing her outfit. It was a little big for him, especially the helmet and it was a woman’s, but I wanted him to be protected so I insisted. Sammy was almost the same size as Arlene so Wednesday it was her turn. “Can Uncle Jimmy take me as far as Grandma Etta and Grampa Henry’s? I want to surprise them.”

“It is up to him. I would like it if you were back before dark.” I watched as my daughter climbed up behind Jimmy. She was dwarfed. Her arms were tight around him. I don’t think she could see where they were going because he was so big. He told her to put her arms around him and hold on.

Arlene had been giving both kids directions on how to ride by leaning with the bike. Sammy grinned toward us and I watched them ease into the street. Arlene asked, “Johnny, when are you going for a turn?”

“When the kids have a few more rides. I’m in no hurry. I would like to try it sometime.”

“You’ll love it. I’ve never had my own bike because I never had the money. Maybe we can get one someday.”

“We’ll see.” It was an hour and a half later when the phone rang.

“Horace, what in hell were you thinking in letting Sammy on a motorcycle with that biker? Who is he anyway?”

“Kim, that’s Jimmy Stein and he is my soon-to-be brother-in-law. I’m getting married this Saturday. Didn’t Etta mention it?”

“Damnit no she didn’t, and she’s hardly speaking to me. How would she know about you getting married?”

“She should know since she is going to be there at the wedding. She and Mom were down and helped Sammy and my fiancée, Arlene, pick out dresses for the wedding.”

“Why wasn’t I informed about you getting married again?”

“Not your business. For your information, Sammy has been asked to stand up with my bride and Randy is my best man.”

“Her name is Arlene? Sammy also mentioned someone named Jacky. She wouldn’t answer any questions, just saying for me to call you.”

“Well, don’t blame Sammy for any of this. I’ve kept my lifestyle low-key since our divorce. I’ve never inquired about how you lived. I was afraid the way you live would humiliate me too much. To bring you up to speed, I’m marrying a nice widow named Arlene Anderson and she has a little boy Jacky. I thought it best we be married since I gained custody of Sammy and Randy.”

“Well, isn’t that just ducky? How long have you known this woman?”

“Somewhere around four years and no the boy isn’t mine and he is legitimate, and no I wasn’t in her bed until after you and I were divorced.”

“She sounds like she was looking for a Sugar Daddy. I’ll bet she is younger than you.”

“She is younger than me.”

“Ha! How does that huge hunk that Sammy was with come into this?”

“He rents a barn out back to live in. I’ll tell you right now to keep away from him. He isn’t anyone to fool with. Not like you fool around with my brother Fred, anyway.”

“You can’t tell me who I can fool around with. We’re divorced, remember?”

“I remember. After learning more about you fooling around before and after our divorce, I want to warn you to keep out of my life and those in it. I won’t tolerate it.”

“Well aren’t you brave? You are intimating I’m a slut, and I’m not.”

“Let’s just say if I had known more about you sooner, I would have come after Sammy and Randy a lot earlier than I did.”

“At least I kept my lifestyle secret from them.”

“You think so? Who do you think shared what they know about you? But then the measure of their love for you is that they do still care for you and I will see that they still continue. Kim, this conversation is going nowhere so let’s end it. If you want to know about my wedding, ask your mother. She has warmed up much more to me than she ever has. Before this, she acted as if she couldn’t tolerate me, but now we are getting along great.”

“Horace, you’re turning my whole family against me.”

“Someone is responsible, but I don’t feel as if it is me.” The phone went dead. No goodbye.

Arlene had heard my side of the exchange. “You were pretty harsh on her, don’t you think?”

“Maybe. She always has her way and years ago when I didn’t know what she was I let her. She isn’t going to blame me for what she is. I’m just thankful that the kids came through this without being damaged. Maybe I should give their grandparents more credit.”

“You mean your father and mother?”

“No, Etta and Henry. They were with them longer than with my parents.”

“I thought you had a problem with Etta?”

“I did, but I always treated her with respect. Well, that is until the last time she was there when I walked out on Kim that time. She has been downright sociable the two times she has been here. Anyway, I’m just going to forget about Kim. I have custody of the kids and if I screw up with them, then it is on me and I’ll take the blame.”

“You won’t screw up dear because you love them and they love you. I’ll help you with them. We get along great so far.”

Jimmy didn’t come in when he and Sammy came back. I hit Sammy with what she had said to her mother.

“Sammy, your mother called a bit ago. She was complaining that you wouldn’t answer some of the questions she asked you. From now on I want you to show more respect to her. I suspect you were showing off because you were doing something so unexpected by being on a bike with some unknown person.”

“But Dad, she was trying to control me in front of Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Fred was there too. You have custody and she had no right.”

“You’re wrong this time, Sammy. She is your mother and just because I have custody doesn’t allow you to show her disrespect. Our family has been torn apart because she and I can’t get along. That does enter into it some, but remember she is your mother and I know she loves you. I won’t let you forget it either.”

“Okay, Dad. Do you think I should call her?”

“Do you think you should?”

“I guess.” Sammy went into the living room. She told Randy to leave. A half hour later she came back into the kitchen. “I talked to Mom and I said I was sorry and apologized for showing off in front of Uncle Jimmy. I also told her some about my soon-to-be stepmom and how nice she has been to Randy and me since we have been here. She wanted know if we were happy living here with you. I assured her we were. I just said everyone was busy so it was quiet.”

“I believe she still loves you two.”

“I know she does. Thanks for making me talk to Mom.”

“It was just a suggestion.”

“But it was a very good one.”

Saturday morning Jimmy asked me if I was sure I wanted him to be present at the wedding this afternoon. “Of course I do. You’re going to be family. In fact, the kids are calling you uncle already. I also can’t disappoint Arlene. We are hoping you will be making your home with us permanently.” I swear there were tears in the corner of his eyes when he turned away.

Mom, Dad, Etta, and Henry appeared early. Mom and Dad hadn’t met Jimmy, but had heard about him from Etta and that Jimmy was now living with us. Jimmy had dressed before they arrived so he took Dad and Henry out to the barn and showed them what he planned to make the place livable and with room for his hobbies on the first level.

They say you aren’t supposed to see your bride before she comes down the aisle, but today we ignored this and we went together in two vehicles. We soon went into the little church, the minister greeting us at the door. Arlene made introductions. Mom and Etta were dressed in beautiful dresses. It took all of twenty minutes for us to be married.

I was smiling, thinking, twenty minutes to marry and six months to divorce. Maybe if that was reversed there would be more people staying together. Not to worry! I handed over the license for his signature as soon as we were husband and wife. Sammy reminded me of her mother, but there was sweetness about her that Kim never had.

Mom and Dad paid for a late lunch and Henry and Etta got us a one night reservation in a nice hotel. We didn’t want to be longer away from Jacky. We planned a two week vacation type honeymoon in late August and I had already made the reservation for a cabin. It was in the mountains and big enough to sleep all five of us. We would be expecting both my mother and father to visit and I invited Etta and Henry to join us for two or three days.

Jimmy had suggested we rent a couple of all terrain vehicles since it was close to a trail that had beautiful outlooks along the twenty mile of its distance. By that time Sammy and Randy would both have riding gear of their own to wear. Arlene had her own. They were urging me to buy a helmet and what went with it. I had never considered something like this, but it was something we could do as a family, maybe. A desk chair always seemed to fit my butt nicely so I had never attempted outdoor sports.

After the wedding we settled in as a family. We didn’t see too much of Jimmy except he did eat the evening meal with us. He was busy redoing the barn the way he wanted. Randy hung out with him. I felt Jimmy was a good influence on my son. He explained everything and why he did things a certain way. Tools and I had never got along that well.

I was a people person anyway. Being a news reporter for so many years I never took the time to learn any other craft. Day-times Randy helped in Arlene’s import business and was earning a little commission money helping her. The monetary risk was minimal by drop shipping the items they sold. Arlene was generous and tickled that Randy took an interest in what she did.

Sammy spent much of her time with me. She was interested and asked questions about being a reporter and even more questions about how I went about developing the story I was composing now. I was thrilled with her interest. I was explaining what I was doing the same as Jimmy was doing with Randy during the evenings out back.

Vacation time came along. Sammy and Randy were excited because Jimmy had arranged to have two 4-wheelers delivered to the cabin we would be staying in. I didn’t think I was comfortable with riding one of these, so I had him rent me a Bobcat UTV. These looked more comfortable to ride in and easier to drive. I knew Arlene would be on the 4-wheelers. I would have Jacky with me.

Jimmy had rented a larger one for himself for two people to ride. We reached there early evening and Jimmy proceeded to show the kids how to operate the vehicles.

I listened to his instructions because who knows, I might like to ride one after all. “Dad, how long is it before supper?” I grinned and told them they had three-quarters of an hour and take it easy until they got used to riding. They took off slow and that lasted until they were out of sight and then we heard them speed up.

“They’ll be fine. Both are good kids.” Arlene and I started supper. This was a well appointed cabin. Jimmy had a tent and sleeping bag. Jacky helped him put it up. The kids were back on time saying they were having a great time. There was a fire ring in front of the cabin so after we had eaten, we built a fire and finished the evening off with marshmallows.

The next day we did whatever we felt like doing. The kids and Jimmy were off on the vehicles. An hour after they left, Arlene took the Bobcat and Jacky, following the trail. There was a mountain behind the cabin that I wanted to explore. I didn’t get back from hiking until after one. When I came around the cabin there was a car parked there in front. I could hear someone talking inside. I opened the door.

It was Kim and my brother Fred. I gave my attention to my ex-wife. “Kim, what are you doing here?”

“Mom said you were on vacation. I thought I would come to see the kids and meet your wife. Mom and Dad are on the way. I thought they would be here by now. Where are the kids?”

“They have 4-wheelers. They’ve been gone three or more hours. They’ll be back soon I expect.” I ignored my brother. It bothered him. “Aren’t you going to say hello. I’m your brother.”

“You’re no brother of mine. You’re not welcomed here either. Kim, take him out of here. If you want to see the kids, come alone.”

“What’s the matter? Are you pissed that I tapped your wife? I’m not leaving until I see your new woman and I want to see my niece and nephew.”

“Horace, cut Fred some slack. He has been drinking.”

“No, get him out of here. Jesus Kim, haven’t you any pride? Fred just said as much as he wanted to check out my wife to see if he could screw her like he did you when we were married. Both of you leave right now.”

“Horace, you can’t make me leave or Kim either for that matter. I was in the military you know.”

“I don’t give a damn. I wish you were still there. Now, out.” I headed for him. He threw a punch at me and connected. It hurt and it stopped me.

“Have at it brother. When I get done with you, you will gladly give your wife to me.” I turned and went out, across the little porch and down the steps. Fred was right behind me. When I reached the yard, I turned and faced him. Another punch came at me. This time I was able to block it.

He was taunting me with every breath. Fred was some surprised when I advanced on him. He was still hitting me and it was still hurting. I did get my licks in. We knocked each other down and the one up first was the one to hit back first. Both of us were covered with dirt. It soon became apparent that I was sober and Fred wasn’t. That’s when I began to get back at him for all of the humiliation I had endured when I learned he was screwing Kim.

I didn’t let up until someone put their arms around me and lifted me off my feet. “Johnny, leave him be. He is almost dead and will be if you keep it up.”

I realized this was Jimmy holding me. I looked around. Arlene and the kids were there. Also Etta and Henry had arrived without me being aware. “Kim, get him out of here.”

“He needs a doctor. You do too.”

“Take him to one, I’ll survive. Don’t bring him back again.”

“Let me at least say hi to Sammy and Randy.”

“Do it and then go.”

I staggered to the steps. Arlene was holding me up and leading me. “I need a shower.”

“There is a tub. I’ll fill it and you can soak. What was all that about with your brother?”

“He came up to check you out. I lost one wife to him. I wasn’t going to take a chance of losing you.”

“Johnny, think. Do you honestly think I would ever leave you?”

“No, I don’t, but I needed an excuse to get back at him.”

“Well, that’s a good excuse.” I heard a car. It sounded like it was driving in. “Johnny you soak. I’ll take care of things outside.”

I was half asleep when the bathroom door opened. I opened my eyes and then scrambled for a washcloth to cover myself. “Mom what are you doing? Get out. You can’t come into the bathroom while I’m taking a bath.”

“I did, didn’t I? I had to see how my son was. My other son is in worse shape than you appear to be, but I had to check. Fred is going to be okay. They say you can’t hurt a drunk.”

“Kim and him left yet?”

“They are getting ready to. Do you want to talk to Kim?”

“No, I’ve said all I want to. I told Kim she could see the kids whenever she wants to. You know, she is the blame for this whole mess don’t you?”

“Maybe, maybe not. I am terribly disappointed in Fred and I guess I’m a little bit proud of you. Arlene invited us for supper. You lay here and soak some more. I’ll see you then.” Then Mom laughed. “I hope a little less of you than I am seeing of you now.”

I laid back. There was a soft knock on the door. This had to be Arlene. I didn’t get a chance to say come in when it opened. It was Etta this time. Again I quickly covered up. “Johnny, I want to apologize for Kim. She should have known better than to bring Fred here. I feel about Kim like your folks feel about Fred. I wish they would go off somewhere and get out of our sight and leave us all alone.”

“Thanks Etta, but they are adults and I guess not used to thinking of others before themselves. I’m not blaming you or Mom and Pop either. I have to say this, at one time I didn’t like you very much, but I am changing.”

“Thanks Johnny, I thought you weren’t good enough for Kim. You were so quiet and laid back and never asserted yourself. I should have given up defending and supporting Kim long before I have. I know one thing, Fred is not welcomed in my home and I’m asking Kim to leave as soon as possible. Make that sooner.”

“Etta, my water is getting cold. Would you step out and let me get dressed.”

“Go ahead and get out, it won’t bother me.” Etta giggled.

“If you say so.” I sat forward and started to rise up. The door slammed and Etta was gone. I laughed. I knew one thing and that was that Etta had changed a whole lot. I had written an article one time about how parents were more and more skipping a generation in their love for their offspring. If they couldn’t get along with their children, they lavished love on their grandchildren. This had to be why she was doting so much on Sammy and Randy.

I was still very sore and stiff, but I was feeling better all of the time, mentally, anyway, and I guess the hot water helped some too. At the table that night it was quiet. I think Mom was the most bothered about today with Fred acting the way he had. Me, I was buoyed up. I finally got a few licks against my brother. Pretty good for a person who had never been physical. I had to discount Fred being drunk, but the result was the same. I hope this was the end of it because of Mom.

It wasn’t though. My desk sat where I could look out the window and see the road. Shortly after Sammy and Randy went to school and a month after the incident at the cabin, I noticed a vehicle that looked like Fred’s pass by. It was ten in the morning when it went by again. Arlene had gone grocery shopping, driving her car that was always sitting in the driveway. Five minutes later, Fred pulled into where Arlene’s vehicle had been parked. He came to the door and knocked.

I cracked it six inches. Fred was looking nervous. “Horace, I mean Johnny, can I come in and talk to you? I’m not looking for a fight or anything. You cleaned my clock the other day, and I don’t want it cleaned again.”

“Yeah, I guess so. What do you want anyway?”

“I want to apologize and maybe we can be friends again. I know I’ve treated you rotten and know I can’t make it right. Hell, you’ve moved way beyond me in your life. You’ve got a good woman and you’ve got kids. I’m forty-one years old and I got shit. Dad won’t speak to me and Mom cries every time she sees me.”

“You brought this all on yourself you know?”

“Yeah, I did that.” We sat looking at each other.

“Do you want coffee? Arlene and Jacky won’t be home for an hour.”

“I’d like that.”

I had a Keurig coffee machine. Paying no attention to Fred I went about getting two cups made. He waited before taking his first swallow until I sat across from him. “Fred, God damn you, you humiliated me worse than I deserved. Why? How’d it begin, anyway?”

“Johnny, I have said what I’m going to call Kim to her face and she has admitted that she was and is. Kim’s a dyed in the wool slut. It began several years ago when you were away on some assignment. I was home on leave and started flirting with her. I told her if she wasn’t married I’d love to get her into bed. She said that being married shouldn’t stop me. I suppose I got to feeling if you couldn’t keep your woman satisfied, she was fair game. So every time I was home I did get her into bed. I felt guilty at first but over time that feeling went away.

“I’m sorry Johnny, I really am. I am for Mom too. I’m not allowed to stay at home any more and that hurts. I’ve made a mess of my life.”

“Are you going to marry Kim?”

“Christ, no, not now. I found out she was slutting around with a half dozen other men. I want no part of her. Etta has barred me from her house and Kim has an ultimatum to be out by next weekend. She dumped me before I could dump her and I don’t miss her at all.”

“I know the feeling. Mostly relief I didn’t have to deal with her when we were divorced. Fred, I don’t want to deal with you either. I wish you would go away. I just hope that someday you can make all this up to Mom.”

“I’m going to try. I got some plans. I get a pension that will keep me going for awhile. You’ll be getting your wish about me going away. I’m winding up my affairs in town today. I don’t suppose you’d let me come by this evening to say goodbye to Sammy and Randy, would you?”

I looked at Fred. I wanted to say no, but if he was leaving and he had something to say to them, I guess I could let him. I mulled this over in my mind and I surprised him when I said, “Fred, I’m going to let you. The kids at one time looked up to you when you arrived home in your uniform. I remember I had to buy Randy some army fatigues just because of it. Hell, I looked up to you before you went into the service.

“I remember when I was a kid I thought you were something special when you hung around on the street corner making smart remarks when some babe or woman walked by. I thought about you doing that the other day. Some of those remarks were awful hurtful to the women with me thinking on it now. I think I have come to respect people more than you ever did. I can’t figure why you don’t respect people, especially your family. You’re breaking Mom’s heart. I’ve come to the conclusion you haven’t changed at all. That’s what made me so mad about the comment you made about my new wife. I couldn’t let you get away with it.”

“With you feeling like that, I guess I won’t ask you to forgive me. That’s okay it was just a thought anyway. Are you sure it is okay for me to come by this evening? Johnny, again I really am sorry you don’t look up to your older brother any longer. Thank you at least for talking with me.”

“Fred, find yourself an unattached woman somewhere and concentrate on making her happy and it just might be that you will be happy too. Just make sure it is some woman who doesn’t belong to someone else. I’ll see you tonight.”

I didn’t get any writing done for the rest of the day. I didn’t have much hope that Fred would change. He could though. Look at Arlene’s brother, Jimmy. Now there was a man I could look up to. I don’t mean just in size either although he towered over me by seven inches. Jimmy had bought a wrecked bike and repaired it in the barn in the back. He was a damned good example for Randy. The guy had spent five years behind bars, but it will never happen to him again. He has totally got his life back together.

Jimmy had been on a couple of dates with a woman who was younger than him. He told her on their first date that he had done time. She just said “thank you” for sharing that and then asked if he wanted a second date, saying she did. Arlene had hopes that we could meet her soon.

I told Arlene that I had a visit from Fred and he was coming back this evening to see his niece and nephew. I pretty much repeated the conversation as I remembered it. “Johnny, you don’t have to go any further with Fred. He has caused you too much angst and humiliation. If he goes forward and changes enough to make your mother happy, then that would be the time for you to reconsider and forgive him. You don’t owe him anything … he owes you.”

Randy was going over to one of his new friends this evening, but I told him his Uncle Fred was stopping by to tell you he is leaving town. “He came to me and apologized and asked if he could see both you and Sammy. It wouldn’t be right as long as I said he could and then you left and wasn’t here.”

I met Fred at the door and said the kids were in the living room. Arlene nodded to him, but didn’t speak. She and I sat in the kitchen. We couldn’t hear their conversation. After he had gone in to meet them, I wished I had cautioned him not to trash their mother. They didn’t need that. They told me later that he didn’t mention Kim at all.

He stayed about ten minutes, and came into the kitchen preparing to leave. “Johnny, you have two great kids. I envy you. Sammy is going to be as beautiful as Kim, and Randy is going to be bigger than you and me. You’ve done well in spite of how bad their home life has been these last few years. More and more I regret that I was the cause of so much of it. Look, I’m leaving tonight. I have no idea if I will be seeing you again. Thank you for letting me tell you how sorry I am and for seeing Sammy and Randy. I’m going up and say goodbye to Mom and then I’m on my way.”

Fred and I had never been close and I had hated him more than I had loved him, but I was going to miss him enough so I walked him out to the car. “Fred, you get your life straightened out and come back and see us. You being the oldest, Mom needs you more than she does me.”

“I will, Johnny. I must say, the name Johnny fits you a lot better than Horace. I’m glad you changed it. Take care of your wife and family.” I stuck out my hand and shook it as he turned and got into his car. I had a feeling about Fred. Maybe he would come home a changed man.

Chapter Three
 
Kim’s life changed too, and not for the better. Old man Calder, who owned the store where she worked as manager, had a stroke and his oldest daughter came to take care of him. Two months later he passed away. The daughter, who had come to care for her father, was in town long enough to learn the gossip about his store manager before he passed, and decided to discharge Kim. The thought was that she could sell the store quicker if the present manager wasn’t there. The store languished on the market, basically rudderless and finally closed. Sad to say, neither the store nor Kim won.

Kim was still living her hedonistic lifestyle. She went to work as manager for a 7/11 convenience store, but the hours were terrible and Kim started taking hours off when she was needed in the store. She abruptly lost that position. She convinced Etta and Henry to let her move home. We didn’t see her often, but I made sure that the kids would visit. I always informed her when there was a school function, but she seldom attended. Etta was the one who benefited the most when Sammy and Randy came to visit Kim. They were often disappointed because sometimes Kim wasn’t home and would hang around with Etta and Henry.

I wasn’t receiving any monetary support per court agreement for the kids from Kim, but that didn’t bother me. Arlene and I were now making good money. I was managing one and sometimes two books a year at the publishers. Randy had continued to help Arlene with her sales, and was making money on his own. Sammy finished near the top of her class, the year she graduated high school. She was going on to study journalism at the state university. Arlene and I continued to be damned proud of my two older children.

Jacky was the best child a man could ask for. He was funny and fun, making sure everyone was happy if they were around him. Arlene brought home twin girls from the hospital the same year Sammy left for university. They weren’t identical twins, but did resemble each other. We named them Rachael and Ramona and that quickly changed to Rack and Rommy. They could change to different nicknames when they got older. Mine had changed, but then I wouldn’t have named anyone Horace, either.

We met Jimmy’s girl and we loved her. She was a heavy woman, but full of fun, talked continually, and we figured that was to make up for Jimmy never holding a long conversation. They had a boy child the year after they married. Jimmy had moved out of the loft of the barn at that time and bought a small cottage in the city to be near his employment.

Thanksgiving was at my house the third year of Sammy being at university. Mom made an announcement, “I’ve had some contact with Fred recently. It has been almost five years since we have seen him. He would like to visit during the Christmas Holidays. Does anyone have any objection to him coming? Actually it doesn’t make any difference, because I told him he was welcome.”

“Where has he been living?”

“I don’t know, but he did say he lived only three hours away from us. He said he would stay in a motel because he didn’t want to impose. I told him that was foolish because his old room and yours were still empty. It is strange that he hasn’t contacted us before this. I was resigned to the fact he must have died. When I said that to him, he said no, he hadn’t died. He had stayed away until he could come home and we could see that we could be proud of him. He said he was going to ask you Johnny to forgive him and was sure that you would. What is that all about?”

“Fred came to see me and apologized to me for his actions. That was the same day he left town. I said he had to do something to make up for all the pain he had caused you. Evidently he thinks he has. We’ll see if he has.”

“Dad, he told Randy and me at the same day that he had a lot to make up for with you, too. I hope he has. I hated it when he and Mom were going out, but I still liked him a lot.”

Did I want to see Fred again? Of course I did. This was driven from my mind on Saturday, following Thanksgiving. It was Etta on the phone, “Johnny, would you tell Sammy and Randy that Kim is in the hospital. She will recover from this, but we don’t know what caused her problem and made her do what she tried to do.”

“You’re saying she tried to commit suicide aren’t you?”

“Yes, I found her comatose this morning in the bathroom. I called an ambulance and had her taken to the emergency room. She had swallowed most of the pills in the medicine cabinet and some of the medicines weren’t to be taken internally. I just don’t know what is the matter with my daughter? Anyway, would you break the news to the kids?”

“I will. Is she in a room?”

“In intensive care for now. She will have a regular room this afternoon. She will be on a watch list while she is here.”

“I’ll bring the kids to the hospital. Find out if she can have visitors, if you would.”

“Will you be in to see her?”

“No, Etta, but I will do everything to get the kids in to see her and I’ll do anything for you. Sammy will have to go back to school tomorrow night, so I guess the burden will be on Randy. Call me when you can. Arlene and I are both home today and the kids will be here for lunch. I’ll drive them up this afternoon.” It seems when couples have children, a divorce is never final.

I informed the kids about their mother. They were not too surprised by her actions. I asked, “Have you two been paying attention to her the way you should?”

Sammy said, “Dad, I guess not. It is so depressing to visit with her when I come home. She just moans about how life has treated her. It has been she who has brought it on herself, but I guess she doesn’t think that way. When I come home, I haven’t wanted to deal with it.”

“Well, maybe you should give her a little more consideration. How about you, Randy?”

“It has been the same with me. Now that I’m out of high school, I’ll visit her oftener. You know I’ve been working very hard and just didn’t want to take the time away from it.”

“This should change and now is a perfect chance for it to happen. I’ll say it again, I think you should see her as often as possible. A few hours away from selling stuff on the internet won’t kill you and it might save your mother’s life.

“I’ll plan to, Dad.” Randy wanted to take a year from school off concentrating on doing what Arlene was doing by selling over the internet. He had helped her at first, beginning on the day they were first introduced. It continued to interest him and eventually he had gone out on his own. He had a nice little business going for himself using Arlene's business as a model. I had agreed that he could take a year off before going on to college. I was wondering now if he ever would go. I didn’t feel that it was a wise choice to skip higher education, not when I could afford to send him.

Randy and Sammy headed for the hospital. It was almost dark when they returned. Randy was the one who filled me in about Kim’s condition. "Dad, they have Mom on anti-depressants. She is severely depressed. They are treating the symptoms, but she could become addicted if she takes them for any length of time. She is being discharged from the hospital tomorrow because she doesn’t have any health insurance. Gram and I said we would be responsible for the charges.”

“That’s good of you. What’s next for her?”

“As soon as we can find some help for her, she has agreed to be admitted to a mental institution for evaluation. To compound the situation and part of her problem, Mom’s broke and her employment benefits have run out.

“Maybe I can help with the search for some help. If I can, we’ll take it from there.”

Sammy spoke up, “Dad, you aren’t responsible.”

“I know, but I can't not help you. If it helps her at the same time, that’s just an added benefit.”

“You’re the best Dad.” Arlene agreed that I should help if possible.

Sammy and Randy went the thirty miles to the hospital again in the morning. My daughter drove her car, planning on leaving directly from the hospital for the university. Randy was transporting his mother home when discharged. Randy would be spending the night with her and Etta.

He called me from there. “Dad, I think Mom regrets what she did. She has medicine and the doctor cautioned me that she should take it on a regular basis.”

“Watch her closely, son. I’m hoping you are right, but remember she is still unbalanced until she has been evaluated. I’ll work on getting her some help tomorrow. I still have some contacts with different agencies.”

“Dad, you haven’t done any of that type of writing since you began writing fiction.”

“Randy, read my stories. Where do you think I get facts for my plots? It takes research and I have to do a lot of it to make sure my story is believable.”

I did begin searching for institutions that would give Kim some help in the situation she found herself in. She was basically homeless, living with her parents at age forty-two. She had no income. She did have a six-year-old vehicle, but only used it to search for work. She had exhausted her unemployment benefits, but she had tried diligently to apply for work, not only in her home town, but further afield as well with no success.

I found a state program where she could enter a treatment facility to be evaluated. That would at least tell Randy what his mother’s underlying problem could be. It might be found that her problem was something medical and not wholly mental. Randy and Etta transported Kim the hundred miles to the facility the next morning. Kim was lucky that they had a bed for her. At times there were waiting lists, but not at present.

Three weeks later Randy had the report on Kim’s evaluation. It was a medical problem and treatable. The doctor said that it was a hormonal condition and might have been something out of whack going back several years. The stress of being unemployed and not having a home of her own had also triggered the early onset of menopause. This had led to the depressed state she found herself in, and caused her to try suicide.

Kim came home just before Christmas. Sammy and Randy were the ones to collect Kim from the institution. She returned to Etta’s and Henry where she had been staying to try and put her life back together. I hadn’t seen Kim for almost a year and I didn’t expect to see her over the holidays. The family always scheduled get-togethers where we would seldom have to see each other. This was the norm ever since I had beaten up Fred at the cabin five years ago.

Arlene and Sammy planned a shopping trip along with Etta and my mother, Delores, in the city. I promised to watch Jacky, Rack, and Rommy while they were gone. Jacky was eight now and the twins were three. I anticipated no visitors and Jacky was always willing to lend a hand with caring for his sisters. I heard a car stop on the street, but thought nothing of it because I heard it soon go on. There was a knock on the door and Jacky ran for it. I came out of the living room to see who it was. Kim was standing there.

“Hello John, may I come in?”

“Of course. Jacky, take the lady’s coat and watch Rack and Rommy. The little ones are watching television. Kim, come into the kitchen and I’ll make us coffee.”

I looked Kim over as I busied myself making coffee. Kim was haggard and thinner then when I had seen her last, but when I turned, she looked me in the eye. There was a coffee cake and I put that on the table with a knife. “I promised the kids they could have some so if you would cut this, I’ll bring them out. They won’t stay long, but I’d like them to know who you are.”

“Thank you, John.” I introduced Kim as Sammy’s and Randy’s other mommy. They soon finished eating the cake and drank the glass of juice I had poured and went back to their TV.

“It’s been awhile since I have seen you, Kim. How are you feeling?”

“Much better, but terribly stupid. For a while I didn’t even want to live, but that’s behind me now. Before we go any further, I want to thank you for finding me a place to stay while I was sick. Randy gives you all the credit and I haven’t run up a whole lot of bills either.”

“Randy would have done it on his own if he could have. I knew you needed help immediately, so I helped him, which in turn helped you.”

“John, you should know this, the doctor told me that my body has always been out of balance. I’ve thought about it a lot. Maybe it was, but I knew most of the time the way I was living my life was wrong. I have no excuse for my actions. I still don’t have much of a life, but I think I can handle it going forward. I know I’m going to continue to search for work and someday I’ll find a job.”

“What type of work are you looking for?”

“Something in a store. I was a good manager for Calder and if I hadn’t screwed up managing that convenience store I’d still have a job. The doctor though, told me it might have happened anyway … my screwing up, I mean.” Kim paused and then went on speaking, “And that brings me to the way I treated you, my Mom, and Dad, with my continuing lifestyle. I’ve alienated everyone who loved me.”

“You don’t have to go there, Kim. It is all behind you. We have all moved on.”

“That may be, but up until a month ago, I hadn’t moved on.”

“You will now know what was sending you off track.”

“That’s what I am hoping. This is why I came to see you today. I want to apologize for the way I treated you for so many years.”

“Apology accepted. I don’t have time to dwell on the past and you shouldn’t either. Follow your doctor’s orders and move on. You are still relatively young and you can still find happiness.”

“John who said that first? Randy said the same thing to me when he picked me up from the institution.”

“Maybe I did, but I’m glad you heard the words first from him. From me it sounds like preaching. From him, you know it is love of a son for his mother. Was that Randy who brought you here?”

“Yes. I asked for a few minutes alone with you. He’ll pick me up soon. I wanted also to tell you what a wonderful job you have done in seeing to it that Sammy and Randy become kids to be proud off. They are just wonderful.”

“Half of their genes are yours, don’t forget.”

“You just won’t let me get down on myself, will you?”

“No, it costs too much and doesn’t pay a thing. Recognize it and make the change. You know I kicked Fred out of town five years ago and told him not to come back until he was something to make his mother proud. He called and said he would be home this Christmas. The whole family is meeting there Christmas Eve. I’m looking forward to seeing him.”

“I will make sure I don’t meet him. Thanks for warning me.”

“That wasn’t meant to be a warning. I just didn’t want you to be taken unawares. Someday you will meet again. I feel assured you will be two different people with different outlooks on life when you do. Don’t obsess on it because it is bound to happen.”

“You sound like one of the doctors who evaluated me. Johnny, you should have been a shrink.” She stared at me with a grin. “Maybe not, but I’m sure you wrote an article on the subject one time long ago.”

I laughed out loud for I had written one and found the facts in that article had come to mind several times when I needed to get something off my mind. Randy opened the door and came in. “No blood on the floor, not that I was worried.”

“Nope. We have had a good talk.”

“Randy, we can leave anytime. I feel better now then when I arrived. I also think I’m blessed with a son who is very much like his father.”

“Coffee and cake first.” He looked toward the living room. “Hey, squirts, there’s cake out here.”

“Now you’ve done it, the kids have already had their cake.”

“I’ll give them mine.” Kim was watching this byplay and there was mist suddenly in her eyes. Kim and Randy stayed until the coffee cake was all gone.

Jacky said as we waved goodbye, “Randy’s Mommy is a nice lady isn’t she Daddy?”

“Yes, she is.” I added “Now” under my breath.

There were four more days until Christmas and that was all the kids could talk about. Sammy was as bad as the younger ones. Randy, the more serious, never seemed to get excited like his sister and the younger ones. He was the one though whose pleasure came from seeing it in others.

I wondered when Fred would appear. It was the next day an hour before noon when a car pulled into the driveway. Jacky again was the one to open the door after the bell chimed. Arlene and I were in the living room. We heard, “Hi, there. I don’t remember your name, but I’m your Uncle Fred. May we come in?”

I stood in the doorway watching Fred usher in a woman holding a baby in her arms and a young girl of eleven or twelve following. Fred looked at me. “Johnny, I have a family now. Am I welcome?”

“Certainly. Mom said you would be here for Christmas. She didn’t tell me you had a family.”

“She doesn’t know. We are on our way there now, but as long as we were driving by, I thought I would stop.”

“I’m glad you did.”

“Arlene, I think I met you one time. I’d like to have you meet my wife, Betty, and my stepdaughter, Ginger. The little one is named Josh and he is a year and a half old. I’ll fill you in on my family some other time. Just as a side note for now, Betty knows everything about my past and still loves me.”

Arlene stretched out her arms to hold the baby, who squirmed and didn’t want to leave his mother. “Betty, do come into the living room and meet my two little ones. Jacky, you stay with your father.”

Fred picked up after the interruption, “Johnny, I want to tell you about what I’ve been doing in the last five years. I told you the day I left here that I had an interview. I did. It was at a private school for rich kids. The curriculum is loosely patterned after the military with all its trappings. I fit right in with what they were looking for and was immediately hired.”

“What are your duties?”

“Before I got off track going after women, I had been taking a few night courses to become a math teacher. I didn’t have enough credits to teach, but it didn’t take me long to review as far as I had. I finished up getting my certificate within two years while actually teaching ten and eleven-year-olds. I am a father figure and cadre of the barracks they live in. Betty and I have our own apartment in the same building. These are the youngest students we have. I found I enjoy it. I’m still studying and hope soon to be able to teach the higher grades.”

“I see you found time to find a family?”

“I have. Betty was a war widow teaching at the same school. I was pretty down about my life and she was down about losing her husband. She would invite me to her apartment to talk with Ginger and do some chores that needed doing. I swear to God, Johnny, I never hit on her. One night we were both feeling down and I told her all about my life and what an a-hole I had been. She shared her life with me about how difficult it was to be a widow with a child. It was exactly two years after I left here that I married Betty and became father to Ginger. What a gem they both are.

“What made you want to come home?”

“It was what you said about Mom and how she felt about me. I think I can go to her and she can be proud of me now. That’s what you wanted isn’t it?”

“Exactly, and that makes me proud of you too.”

“Johnny, am I going to run into Kim and will she try to make trouble for me? I sure would like to apologize to her, but I don’t want to upset Betty.”

“Kim was here yesterday talking to me. She’s been sick and just got out of a medical facility a couple days ago. I doubt you will run into her, but if you do, be calm around her. It might be a good idea if you do see her, not to bring up the past unless she does.”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“Some woman thing, I guess. She’s on medication. Sammy and Randy are taking care of her. Sammy will be around over the holidays for the next two weeks then she becomes Randy’s responsibility.”

“Randy grown up enough for that?”

“Oh yeah, you bet. Sammy is in school and only has three more semesters to go. Randy is taking a year away from school and then I hope he’ll go on to learn more about marketing which is his main interest. He’s pretty intelligent.”

We walked into the living room. Arlene was holding Fred’s baby and my two little girls were sitting next to Betty one on each side of her. “Betty, I think we should get going. I want to get to Mom’s.”

“Arlene has invited us for lunch. She was just about to ask your brother to cook hamburgers and French fries.”

“Please stay, all of you. Jacky, ask your cousin Ginger to help you get plates on the table.”

“She’s my cousin? I didn’t know that.”

“She is my niece, so she must be your cousin.” I received a shy grin from the girl and she followed us back into the kitchen. We had a French fry cooker and I peeled a few more potatoes and started them frying. Fred called Mom and told her he was having lunch with me and would see her in a couple of hours.

“I guess I’m Mom’s Christmas present. She declared I was anyway.”

“That’s good. Wait until she finds out you have a family of your own. That will make her even happier.”

Fred looked sad and then said, “Its Hell when your mother has to wait fifty years for her son to make her happy, isn’t it? I’m going to do all I can to keep her that way from now on.”

Fred and family were picking up to get ready to leave, us all standing together saying our goodbyes. The door opened and Sammy came in with Kim.

---

This was awkward! Arlene rose to the challenge. “Sammy, you remember your Uncle Fred? Kim, of course you do too. Fred is here for Christmas with his parents. He brought his family with him. This is his wife, Betty, and her daughter, Ginger, and Fred is holding their baby, Josh. Josh is a year-and-a-half old. Betty, this is Sammy, Johnny and Kim’s daughter. Kim was Johnny’s wife before me.”

Betty, stepped forward to Kim. “Oh, I recognize both of you. Fred has some pictures of back when Johnny was married to you. They are mostly of Sammy and Randy, but you were included in a couple of them. Fred always said that Sammy was going to be just as beautiful as her mother and he was right. We will be seeing you tomorrow night at Fred’s parents won’t we? Fred is going to share what he has been doing for the last five years with everyone and I’m sure you will be interested.”

“I don’t know; I haven’t made any plans to be there. I have been sick quite a bit during the last month. If I feel up to it, I will come.”

“Please, I hope you feel able to. Fred has declared he started his second life at age forty and is looking forward to the next forty. That was the age he looked at himself and didn’t like what he was so he set out to make the change. He said Johnny was the one who nudged him in the right direction and for once he listened.” Betty smiled at everyone.

“Come on Fred, you promised your mother we would be right along. We don’t want to disappoint her. Mothers are special no matter how old you or they are.” I stood in the doorway waving as they drove away.

“I don’t know as I did much nudging of Fred when he left five years ago. I told him not to return until he could make our mother proud of him. Call it nudging if you want to, but I meant it more as a threat.”

Arlene laughed, “I do believe Fred had enough of your threats when you beat the crap out of him.”

Kim spoke up, “I’ll second that. I had to doctor him and listen to what a mean bastard you were. He couldn’t believe from your past action that you rose up and smacked him.”

“Kim, Fred’s wife invited you to be present on Christmas Eve. Are you going?”

“I wasn’t invited. My mother wouldn’t want me there and I don’t think Delores will either.”

I went into the bedroom and reached for the phone. “Mom, Fred was here as you know. Sammy and Kim came in before he left. Fred’s passion has cooled for Kim so he won’t cause trouble having Kim join us for Christmas. Would you invite Etta and Henry and have them bring Kim with them. Don’t forget that I’m bringing Jimmy Stein and his wife with me too. I know it will make the house crowded, but we always make do.”

“Why all of these extra people? We’ve never had Etta and Henry before. And Kim, she’ll cause some trouble.”

“No she won’t. I’ll be responsible for everyone. You’ll thank me when Christmas is over. This is shaping up to be the best Christmas ever.”

“Johnny, have you gone soft on Kim?”

“Maybe a little. I figure she has been sick for the last ten years and now that she found out what is wrong and is on medication, she can use a kind hand. I did it for Fred and I can do it for her.”

“Is Kim still there?”

“She is. Talk to Sammy and let her invite Kim. It would mean so much to both.”

“All right, I’ll ring back in five minutes. I suppose you want your name kept out of this?”

“Of course. A person is expected to be hard-hearted toward his ex-wife even if they have kids together. Fred thought I was a wuss when I was married to Kim. I hate to change my image.”

“You changed his image of you at the camp that one time if I remember. Okay, Horace, I’ll call Sammy.” I laughed. Mom sure knew how to needle me. “Johnny, say what you want, but I know the true you. I wasn’t aware for a long time, but I talk to Arlene a lot. I know everything you have done for everyone connected in our family. I could go on.”

“Enough, Mom. Call Sammy.” I hung up.

I was back out in the kitchen when the phone rang. “Sammy, Grammy wants to speak to you.”

It wasn’t long before Sammy said Grammy wanted Kim to come for Christmas. “Okay with me. Have you invited Etta and Henry?”

“I’m calling them now.”

“Good. This is going to be a great Christmas.”

It was a great Christmas. There was no drama, just happiness. There were two chairs side beside on one side of Mom’s living room and I made my way there to wait for the presents to be opened. Jacky was the one to give out the gifts. My three-year-old twins would run to me with their presents for me to see and then rush back hoping for another.

Kim was kind of odd person out and she came and sat beside me. The family had rushed around in the morning when it was learned she would be with us, so she also received a few gifts. She didn’t say much, just observing how happy everyone was. Sammy and Randy stayed close, watching to see that she had a tea which was her preferred beverage.

Kim turned to me. “Johnny, this could have been my family if I hadn’t believed I was something special and always had to show everyone I was. Now I know it is your family and you’re the glue that holds it together.”

“No it isn’t. Watch Sammy and Randy. They are really the ones that are the glue. See them with Fred and Betty. Fred’s stepdaughter just adores Sammy already. They’ve always had my mother and father in their hands and the same with Etta and your father. Jimmy has done a lot and he and his wife treat them as if they were their children as much as they are Arlene’s and mine.

“To my knowledge, Sammy and Randy love you as much as they do me. They have and they always will. Randy is planning on staying close to you and he’ll find something that will bolster your self esteem and get you to feeling good about yourself again.”

“I hope so. I’ve pretty much wrecked my life.”

“All you need is some kind of work. Randy will find you something and I think it will be more than waiting table in a diner too.”

“Johnny, I’m looking at that and will do it if that is all I can find. I have to pay Mom and Dad for being my security blanket all these years. It is a wonder they haven’t shut the door in my face again.”

“Don’t forget Etta had some of the same problems that you are having. She had to get help and it made the world of difference for her.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“That was several years ago. Now she is one of my best friends.” Kim looked at me and I just realized that I had spoken the truth.

“I remember when she couldn’t stand you. What changed her mind?”

“It goes back to Sammy and Randy again. She was afraid she was going to lose them. I made sure that they knew who their grandmother was and that she was treated with the respect due her. Kim, talk to your mother about it and she might have a few words of wisdom for you. We forget that our parents have seen more of life than we have. I know I still listen to mine. Mom called me Horace the other day. That was her way of letting me know I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“I guess my problem is that it has always been about me. You are saying it should be about those around me and not just me?”

“That’s the message, Kim.” I looked around the room. Christmas today was like it was when I was a kid, myself. No friction among the people gathered. I remembered back to when as a kid and I looked up to my older brother. This was so many years before I met and married Kim, or had children, or a new wife and family. Tonight I was happy with no turmoil in my mind.

---

It was in February that Randy came to me. “Dad, I have to do something about Mom or she will be back where she was at Thanksgiving time. She still hasn’t found work. Oh, she is calmer, but is getting really frustrated. I have to find something she can do.”

I was aware and had given it thought. “Randy, do you have any money to invest in something?”

“Quite a bit. I have almost seventy-five thousand from my little business selling junk on the internet. I’ve been doing it for years and you have supported me. Why?”

“I was thinking. Your mother was happy when she was managing Calder’s business. Find a store your mother can manage for you even if you have to buy one.”

Randy peered at me. “That’s the answer. I should have thought of it. Would you help me?”

“If you keep my name out of it.”

Randy found a neighborhood convenience store in one of the bedroom communities ringing the city. It had everything including both meat and a produce department. Beer and wine sales were big items, naturally. It had been listed for over a year by a sixty-year-old widow woman, but the offers had been a lot lower than she was asking.

“Dad, I found out what has been offered and the business is worth more than that. What should I offer her?”

“Get three appraisal concerns in and have it appraised. They can tell you what the customer base is and how much it really is worth. That would be the way to start.” Randy got the appraisals and we sat down to figure out an offer that we thought was fair.

It was an offer that had several different parts to it. Randy would take over the existing mortgage and pay cash for the inventory on the shelves--wholesale less ten percent. The mortgage wasn’t that big so we asked if the owner would hold half the remainder of the purchase price, paid monthly just like at the bank only one percent less than the interest on the present mortgage. This was actually more than the owner could get if she received cash and put it into a money market fund. This left one hundred seventeen thousand left to find financing for.

“Randy, I’ll come up with that if you will sign a paper that you will start going to Community College evenings and taking courses following your marketing inclination. You can get an associates degree that is worth a lot if you decide later in life to take up something different.”

“How will you get your money back, though? I won’t be able to work full time in the store.”

“After a year if things go right you could sell your mother a percentage of the store for a portion of that. In the future, after the mortgage is paid off to the present owner or the bank, you can pay me from your income. I don’t need the money now and won’t until I retire. We’ll make this a gentleman’s agreement with no paperwork. I don’t want my name on anything.”

“In other words, Mom isn’t to know about it, is that it?” What about Arlene, she will have to know?"

“That’s no problem. Your stepmother and I discuss everything concerning money. Now as far as what you tell your mother about purchasing the store, get her involved except for the financing, just saying you have some of it and have involved an outside investor. Get your mother excited about this. I think she will be.”

“I think she will be too.”

A Few Years After
 
Sammy decided she didn’t want to be a reporter or writer, even though she had a better education than I. She went to work at one of the major book publishers on graduation and was now nearly thirty years old. “Dad, I have two weeks vacation over the Fourth of July. Can you get everyone together over the holiday?”

“Sammy, everyone?”

“Everyone. We haven’t been all together since Mom went to work in the grocery store. I might have an announcement to make about a change coming up.”

“Getting married, huh?”

“Engaged. He works here on publisher’s row, but not the concern where I do. You’ll love him. He’s a lot like you.”

“I guess I can do it. We’ll put all the kids in the bunkhouse.”

“I’m staying with them then. Maybe Randy will too. Would you stay with us as well?”

“I’m no kid, that doesn’t make sense.”

“Just for one night you could be. Dad, I think about you a lot and when any of us get together we talk about you, the kids especially. You stay in the background all the time and you shouldn’t. You’re the most loved person in the family. Arlene worships the ground you walk on. Uncle Fred’s wife, Betty, declares Fred wouldn’t be anything if it wasn’t for you.

“Uncle Jimmy tells about how you welcomed him into the family when he had so many strikes against him. Grandma Canaan told me the exact day when it was you who changed her and you also soon became a man in everyone’s eyes by walking out on Mom. She said it was something you did to her and it was the day she changed how she felt about you.”

“And what day would that be?”

“It was while you and Mom were still married and one day she came late to supper. She choked on a drink of water and you patted her on the back. Was there something else that she didn’t tell me?”

“Maybe a little something. I didn’t like your grandma Etta at all before then, and I was just realizing I didn’t like your mother either. I had met Arlene at the time, but it was two years before I connected up with her. Arlene was a woman in a bad situation and needed a friend in the worst way. She didn’t whine or moan, just taking life as it came to her. Your mother that night, if I remember correctly, was going on about having to deal with some so-called low-life customers.

“I guess I didn’t like your other Grammy very much either. She was always going on about my brother and kept asking why I couldn’t measure up to what she thought he was. That particular night I guess I snapped and did something that was so far out for me it was unbelievable even to myself.”

“What was that, Dad? You can tell me and I won’t say a word, I promise.”

“As I said, I was pissed at Etta for coming late to eat which had happened too often in my estimation. I had been thinking about your mother and hoping for sex all day. I knew there was little likelihood, so when Etta finally showed up, I looked her in the eye and then let my eyes drift down to her chest.

“Then I looked in her eyes again and wiggled my eyebrows. Etta was taking a drink and choked on it. I got up and patted her on the back. She screamed at me when I rubbed her back, saying I was crazy. So I did the same thing, letting my eye focus on her breasts wiggling my eyebrows again. She left at that point. I don’t think I saw her again until two years later which was the day you and Randy moved in with me.”

“That’s it? That’s all you did?”

“Uh, I think so.”

“Dad, you didn’t touch her breasts did you?”

“Nope, not ever. You know me. I never would disrespect a woman that way.”

“Well I should hope not. But you must have done something. What was it?”

“Maybe I brushed my fingers over the hair on the back of her neck and accidentally fiddled with her ears a little. That is absolutely all. The nearest we ever came to mention it was when she told me she had gone to therapy. I kind of got the idea that she was turned on by a man whom she couldn’t stand and had to have it explained why she felt that way.”

Sammy laughed at the idea that her father would be so bold. “Dad, I don’t know who I am more shocked at … you or Grammy? Dad, I know why Arlene is always singing in the morning too. What was wrong between you and Mom? You sound as if you could have reached her after what you did to Grammy.”

“Sammy, some marriages are not meant to be. That was the case between Kim and me. Ah, you’re going to forget this conversation aren’t you?”

“I did promise, so I guess I’ll have to. Dad, getting back to me and the party, please contact everyone for me and we’ll have us a great time.”

I called Randy. He was usually available. He was president of Henderson’s Grocery. He never did go to a four-year college. He found everything he needed at the community institutions. Working closely with his mother who had been in retail sales all her life, she was as good an instructor as he could find in a more formal setting.

Kim was perfectly happy as the manager. Randy had suggested to me that he turn the store over to her and pick up another one that came on the market. It was decided that as partners, they were both making an excellent living and it wasn’t necessary to expand. “Dad, this is great that we are going to get together. You’ve met my girl several times. We are engaged and we can announce it then. It’s a secret and we want to surprise everyone.”

“I won’t tell anyone. Does your mother know?”

“No, but she won’t be surprised. We’ve been going together for nine months. Sammy is the one I want to surprise.”

“She will be. Would you ask your mother to join us? You work with her and I don’t talk to her that often.”

“Dad, I think you should be the one to ask her. It would mean so much to her.”

“I don’t know why.”

“I do. Mom knows that it was you who arranged for her to get back to work and get her life back together.”

“You weren’t supposed to tell her.”

“I didn’t. Mom is pretty damned intelligent and her stupid years are behind her. Man up and call her because it was you who contributed to Mom’s stupid years by being a wuss when you two were married. Thank God you both have moved on.”

“Okay. Put that way, I guess I can.”

I called Kim, “Sammy called me this morning. She wants everyone to get together on July, 4. She wants all the kids to stay here in the barn we made into a bunk house. Do you think you can make it? I really would like to have you come join us.”

“Johnny, how can I refuse with an invitation like that? Maybe I’ll bunk in with the kids. Some of them I hardly know and they are growing up too fast.”

“That would be great. Sammy wants me to join the kids too.”

There was silence and then Kim asked, “Johnny, may I bring a guest. He is a friend and pretty special. I did have plans with him, but I can drop them.”

“No, don’t do that. Bring your friend. He will be welcomed.”

“I will unless he has his kids for the holiday. He was hoping not to have them.”

“Have you met them?”

“Yes, both. A boy and a girl. They are in their early teens.”

“They will fit right in, Invite them too.”

“Johnny, I, ah, ah.” I could hear her voice catch. “Johnny, damn it you’ve got me crying. Crying because I’m so happy. I’ll see you on the fourth. Bye.”

I had one more call to make today. It was evening. School never let out at the academy where Fred taught. “Hey Fred, Sammy is putting together a gathering at my place over the fourth. Can you make it?”

“Yeah, the family and I were coming to visit anyway. Can we bring a tent and pitch it in your backyard.”

“That would be great. Maybe I’ll rent a big one in case it rains. Say hi to everyone and I’ll see you when you get here.” Fred and I still weren’t that close, but we were getting along very well. Next I called my mother and father and informed them that it was party time on the Fourth of July

“Who will be there? You aren’t forgetting Fred are you?”

“Nope, everyone is coming.”

“Is Kim going to be there?”

“Of course. She is mother to two kids and aunt to a lot of others.”

“Is this a special occasion?”

“No. Sammy has been away a lot and wants to see everyone. I’m calling Etta and Henry as soon as I hang up. Bring food. Tell Randy to put it on his tab and I’ll pay him back.”

I called my former in-laws and then sat back in my chair. They would certainly be here. I was trying to remember how many years it had been back to when I was so unsatisfied with my life. Now it was just the opposite. I guess it depended on whether it was when I first interviewed Arlene or when I moved out on Kim. Did it really matter? No, I guess not, not now.

The End