John Booker Smith

John Booker Smith

happyhugo

Romance/ Drama

20,253 words

Copyright (c) 08/17/10

A Brattleboro, Vt Tale 

Readers score  7.34

John Booker Smith is a writer, focused and dedicated to his
work above all else. A woman comes to his door, maybe in
trouble, maybe not. He ends up inviting her to travel to Spain
with him to research a location and build a plot for the new book
he is planning. Some troubles on the horizon.

Chapter One

I watched her as she came up the path toward me. She had a ponytail that was swinging and she was moving along at a good clip. Damn, I didn’t need the interruption.

I figured she was probably selling something. I was into the next to last chapter in the book I was composing. I was finishing the final conflict and all would be right with my hero. Soon I would be writing the epilogue. This was the last book in a series of three. I was putting this particular character to bed.

Oh well, I had better see what she wanted. I just knew from the way she was moving that she wouldn’t hesitate to bang on my door. I waited as she ran up the steps. I opened the door and it surprised her so much she nearly fell into the room.

“Yes Miss, what can I do for you?”

“There is a man following me. I lost him in the dense woods, but I’m sure he will come here when he gets to your path. Why don’t you have a road? Where is your car?”

“Well Miss, I don’t own a car, so I don’t need a road.”

“How do you get into town? I need to get away from here.”

“There is a bicycle in the shed, you can use that. You’d have to leave some money with me before I would let you take it.”

“You’re a horrible man. Don’t you trust anyone?”

“No.”

That set the woman back enough so she was speechless, but not for long I soon found out. She tried a different tack. “How old are you?”

“Old enough to be suspicious of women who arrive at my door demanding I do something for them.”

“Are you afraid of women?”

“Some of them. I trusted my mother and I trusted my sister.”

“What about your wife? Most men are married by your age.”

“Her I didn’t trust. You appear to be a lot like her, ergo, I don’t trust you. Why don’t you leave? I’m sure your imagined stalker is just that.”

“He is real, but you don’t seem to care if I was attacked and violated.”

“I’d mind if I knew you maybe, but I don’t know you. There are many tragedies that go on in this world that I don’t know about. When you go down the path, I’ll forget you were here and anything that happens to you is not my problem.” She stared at me in disbelief at my uncaring attitude.

She spoke now in a rush. “My name is Pamela Becker and the man I spoke about was my boyfriend. I’m twenty-two and I just broke up with him because he was seen doing things with another girl. We were engaged, but he cheated, and the man I want to share my life with can’t do that.

“I just graduated from college, majoring in English and journalism. Top three percent of my class, I might add. My father is dead and my stepmother, whom I love dearly, didn’t like my boyfriend because she didn’t trust him and I have to apologize to her because she was correct.” She paused out of breath and then continued, “There, you know me now and that puts some responsibility on you to look out for me.” Defiant, she looked at me.

“I guess it does, doesn’t it. Too late to go into town and it will be dark before we get there. You’ll have to spend the night. Are you afraid to stay here with me?”

“Maybe a little. I don’t know your name or anything about you, or not much anyway. I know you live alone out in the woods and hate women. Would you pretend I am your sister visiting you, and you are glad to see me?”

“I could do that, I guess. ’Course I’ve lied a bit. I don’t have a sister so wouldn’t know how to treat you. Oh hell, here is my cell phone. Call your mother or a friend and tell them you are staying overnight with John Booker Smith, the author.”

Pamela screamed, “You’re JB Smith? I’ve read all of your novels. In fact you are the author who has inspired me to want to make writing my career.” She backed off and examined me. “You don’t look as old as I thought you would. Nowhere near as old as the pictures on the jackets of your book covers. Can I call Mom now? She loves you as much as I do. I mean she loves your novels.” Always nice to know I have fans out there!

Pamela stepped outside so she wouldn’t be overheard. I wondered if she was ever going to come back inside. I had to break her call off, telling her the meal was getting cold. I served her some macaroni and cheese cooked on top of the stove and a hotdog, ending the meal with an apple for dessert.

I never did get back to writing this evening. I mean when you have an adoring fan arriving the way Pamela did, you have to sit and entertain her. She told me a little more about herself. Enough anyway to know she was serious in becoming a writer. Mostly she asked me about what it was like to find myself a renowned author.

“The downside was that I didn’t pay attention to my childhood sweetheart and lost her two years after we were married.”

“She cheated on you, is that it?”

“No, I can’t say that about her. It was more that I cheated by focusing so heavily on my work. Writing was and is my mistress. My wife gave me plenty of warning, but I wouldn’t listen. My addiction to writing was stronger than my love for her. She did cry as she left.”

“Do you ever think about her?”

“Of course.”

“What happened to her? Don’t you have any contact with her at all?”

“No contact. When we met to settle things for the divorce, it was the last time we were together. A mutual friend told me she is married to a man older than she is. Other than that I know nothing about her. I’m sure with the success I have had writing, she knows about me. Even though it hurts me to say this, she was wise in divorcing me. I’m just not husband material. Case in point, a beautiful young woman right now is sitting across from me and I’m resenting the fact that I’m not in my office pounding on a keyboard.”

“You’re hateful, and you hate women!”

“That’s the way I am.”

“I’m shocked, I thought John Booker Smith was straight. You are able to write such steamy love scenes, but I don’t ever remember reading any gay passages in any of your books.”

“I’m not gay. Those steamy sexual scenes come from pure research on the female gender. Physical as well as otherwise.”

“I’m tempted to get you to prove it.”

“No, you won’t. We’d start a relationship and then you would get to thinking I was husband material. You couldn’t help falling in love with me and I’d break your heart. You’re too nice and beautiful for me to do that to you.”

“God, do you ever have a huge ego! You did pay me a compliment though, and I thank you for that. Where am I going to sleep? If I’m going to brag about this, I have to be able to describe everything about John Booker Smith and where he lives and works.”

“You know I could run you into town if you’d rather. I kind of lied about that as well. I do have a car parked the other side of the lawn behind some bushes. You came up the back way. There is a road going down to Rte 9, which is only a mile from here. Haven’t you heard the cars and trucks on the highway?”

“I did, but I thought the road was farther away. I’d like to stay, if I may. My mom will kill me if I don’t. I know she reads your books, but she has always sounded as if there was more than that when she was asking about you.”

“Maybe your Mom likes my work a little too much and fantasizes about the creator. That happens. Not too often, but I have had a woman rush up to me and try to kiss me. It is embarrassing for both of us. When that happens, I usually buy the woman a cup of coffee and sometimes we become friends. Nothing ever more than that.”

“Oh come on, I don’t believe you.”

“Think what you want, it is true. If I want a woman, be assured I’m the one that does the hunting. I’m not one to begin a relationship on the spur of the moment either. The boundaries are laid out well before I become intimate with the opposite sex.”

“Do you ever have any fun in your life? It seems as if you live a sterile existence here. Oh, I think you do experience everything, but you have to have a plan before it happens. Don’t you ever let it all hang out?”

“Enough about me. What about you? Tell me about yourself.”

“Typical person in today’s world. Had some unhappiness losing my mother at fourteen. Dad filled in for her until he met my stepmom. She turned out to be a wonderful choice for both my dad and me. I have come to love her as much as I did my Mom. I think she must be about your age, only eight years older than I am.”

“It sounds as if you were extraordinarily lucky in the choice your father made. No money worries?”

“None. Dad made his pile before my real mother passed away. He was chased by a couple of women for a few months before he met Janis. She came to the marriage with some money of her own. There was a prenup, but that was mostly to protect me. I have been well protected and I still am. Janis has set up a trust for me with most of my father’s money, even though I was left some outright. That’s the kind of person she is.”

I guessed I had better delve into this step-mom a little deeper. “What was this Janis’ name before she married your father? Where was she from?”

“You are as bad as Mom. You ask questions, just like she did of me earlier. I think her maiden name was Gamaele---that’s pronounced with a soft G. She was born in Connecticut and moved to New Hampshire as a child. She took her maiden name back when she divorced and I don’t know what her married name was. Does that answer all of your questions?”

“I guess I was getting personal about something that doesn’t concern me.” (It did concern me, because Janis Gamaele at one time was my wife.) “What about you? Why are you in Brattleboro and where are you staying?”

“I am staying in a motel on Putney Road. My ex-boyfriend followed me here and foolish me, I agreed to talk to him and listen to the explanation of why he was cheating on me. I got into his car and we started to ride around. He parked at a wide spot beside the highway and we talked. When I wouldn’t believe his lies and take him back, he became abusive. Not physically, but verbally. I jumped out and ran into the woods. I circled around and that’s when I found your path.”

“And here you are.”

“Here I am, yes. This has to be the most interesting experience of my life.” She wasn’t done. “I have met one of my favorite writers and got to know some things about him. One of which, he is not above lying to a person. It makes me wonder just what kind of a person you really are. I think your profile may be somewhere between what your book jacket tells me and what you have said about yourself this afternoon.”

“You could be right. You still haven’t said why you are here in Brattleboro. I’m assuming you went to school at UVM?”

“Yes I did. The thing of it is, a bunch of us were looking for different local authors on the Internet. Your name, of course, came up. You don’t use Vermont for a location in any of your books. You use the wide world for that. There is one author that has several stories set in and around Brattleboro. He has no profile on the website he posts his stories on. It made me curious about the town. Do you know who I’m talking about?”

“Yes, I think you are referring to Hugo. He is a friend of mine. It was I who encouraged him to begin writing. He didn’t start until after he was seventy. His preferred genre are westerns, although he has never been west. He claims he has read enough westerns so he is confident enough to write his own. He sticks mostly to romances with happy endings, hence the name, Happy Hugo that he uses as his pen name.

“Westerns aren’t his only settings. History plays some parts in his stories. He is pretty good at taking one situation or one of his ancestors and building a story around it, or them.”

“I know all of this. It took me awhile to realize sometimes he seems to write only for his own enjoyment, letting the words just land on the page. Other times he has more meat to the story and does some research, building the fiction with his characters.”

“You are so right. I do the same thing and I post on the same website. The stories I post there have more sex in them than what I write in my books. Does that tell you anything more about me?”

“I guess I’ll have to think about that before I can say. I know the website, tell me what name you write under.”

“No, not tonight. You’d think me a dirty old man and wouldn’t want to stay here.”

“Hey, I’m just out of college. You don’t think I studied all of the time, do you? UVM is a great party school. Remember too, I’m just coming off a two-year relationship. We did more than hold hands.”

“Do you miss him?”

“It is weird that I should after how he disrespected me so, but I do. Oh well, I’m sure I will find someone. You know what, it could be you.”

“No way. I’m just not the right person for you. I will say I am interested in your career as a writer and I’d like to keep in touch.”

“Okay, then. Have you got a tee shirt I can put on to sleep in?” I found her one that had JBS embroidered on the pocket. She looked at me. “May I keep this?”

“Sure. More bragging rights for you. Who am I to deny a fan?”

“Thanks from a fan who thinks you have a great big ego that is boundless, but I will take it anyway.” I showed her my bedroom, which left me the smaller room. I heard her banging open my bureau drawers and looking in my closet.

I spoke through the door. “Are you having fun in there?”

“I am. High school reunion is in two weeks. I’m going to wow my classmates.”

“Careful young lady, you’re going to be growing cojones of brass and you won’t be the sweet young thing I have come to know and love.”

“Who cares,” came floating through the door. “I’ll never have another chance like this again.”

I suppose if I hadn’t found out my ex-wife was this girl’s stepmother, I wouldn’t have offered her my bedroom. I rarely thought of Janis now. What I had felt for her at one time now came rushing back. I wondered if she had aged well. I was pleased that Pamela thought so much of her. Why?

I thought back to Janis and our breakup. I could see her point now after so many years had passed. At the time I thought she was being too unreasonable. One conversation led to another conversation and soon we were shouting at each other. Things were said we couldn’t take back.

She just couldn’t understand that I had to write. How else was I going to support her? It still burned me when I thought about the first book I had published. Wonders, it turned up on several must read lists and was very profitable. Profitable for her, anyway. She asked for the royalties in the divorce settlement and received all that the book generated. This left me starting again from scratch, but that wasn’t all bad either. I could concentrate on my chosen path.

Again it was a blessing to be so focused for it let me forget Janis and what our marriage had deteriorated into. So had she done well in her second marriage? Must be. That was good and I was glad to hear about it from someone who had feelings for her. Pamela still hadn’t said where home was. I assumed she and Janis lived together, or would now that Pamela was finished with college.

I went into the bathroom, showered, shaved and went into my bedroom. I heard Pamela shower while I was drifting off to sleep. I was up at three for a pee break. Her underwear was draped over the towel rail. It had been a long time since this had happened here in my workplace. Not unusual at my downtown home, although not that often there either.

My thoughts swung to Janis again and a longing came unbidden into my mind. I cursed Pamela for bringing up Janis' name and the return of pain I thought I had stripped from my memories. My plan now was to get Pamela into town and forget her and her stepmother as soon as possible.

Pamela came into my little kitchen and I asked, “Eggs, bacon and toast, or cereal?”

“Egg please. One, over easy. One toast and no bacon. You got coffee?”

“Coming at you. Would you get the plates in that cupboard to the right of the sink? Silverware in the drawer under it.” I was pouring coffee when I glanced at Pamela as she reached for the plates. Two globes appeared as her tee rose while stretching.

I was struck silent. Pamela turned around and realized what had happened. “Sorry about that. My underwear isn’t dry. I forgot I wasn’t with my boyfriend. Forget I did that.” Yeah right!

Her face flamed. “You must think I’m terrible. I’ll be good from now on.”

“I’ll probably work this little situation into a story sometime. Nice!”

“Nice what?”

“I could say nice situation only, but you wouldn’t believe me, would you?”

“Depends.”

“Eat your egg.”

“Chicken.” Pam was good and stopped teasing until the breakfast was finished. “I’m using the microwave to finish drying my underwear. You don’t mind do you?”

“Not if I can use that in a story too?”

“Who cares?” She returned in a minute with a rolled-up towel and put it in the oven. She stood there tapping her foot for three minutes. Smiling at me she went off to the bedroom, coming out a few minutes later completely dressed. “Shall we go? I want to see if Bob is still in town.”

I got on at entrance number two of I-91 and got off at exit three, taking the round-about without slowing. I pulled into the parking lot at the motel. There was a police car sitting in the back row. Pamela informed me, “Bob is sitting over in his car by the police vehicle. At least he thought enough about me to be worried when he couldn’t find me. Walk over with me, would you please?”

Pamela went to Bob as he got out of his car. I went around and spoke to Maryann, the female police officer. We were friends and had at one time dated. She rolled her window down. “That the woman who was missing?”

“Yeah. She spent the night at my place. Those two broke up and she is all done with him. He wants her back and she isn’t having any. Too bad you can’t tell him to leave town.”

“I could do that, but it wouldn’t mean anything legally. I’ll sit here and see how they get along. How have you been John?”

“Fine. Busy. I’m almost finished with another book. It’ll be out in a few months. Lot to do to get it ready before it is printed. How is Sam?”

“Good. Married life agrees with us. You should try it. That woman looks kind of young for you though.”

“She is. She just graduated from UVM and wants to write for a living. It was great talking to her last night. Strange we have the same interests, meeting the way we did.”

“How and where did you meet?” I explained about the last sixteen hours. “She hasn’t said how long she is going to be in town. I do know she wants to meet Hugo. I may introduce them.”

“I bet she would like that. What a sight he has from his place. Even if they don’t connect, at least she will have enjoyed the view. It was claimed when he moved there you could see as far as Boston. Too much thick air to see that far now. You still can view three states at once though. Oh look, her boyfriend is pulling out and leaving. I’ll find out if everything is cool.”

Pamela came up to the car announcing to me, “Bob has given up. I won’t be seeing him again. He finally admitted he was seeing some other girl at the same time he was seeing me. I did thank him for being concerned enough to have you come here to see if I was okay.”

“You weren’t really listed a missing person. You weren’t missing long enough to make a report on. It was unusual enough though for the chief to send me out here. What do you think of John? You couldn’t have fallen in with a nicer person.”

“He’s okay. I have discovered he has a giant ego, though.” Pamela was smiling. “Seriously, I’m glad I met him. I love his books and my Mom does as well.”

“I like them too. He even put me into his second novel under a different name. I’m on page 71. Of course this was before I met my husband. My husband still doesn’t know if what John wrote about me is true. It might cause me problems if he knew for sure. Hey, I have to get back to the station. Have fun you two.” The cruiser pulled away.

“Do you want to come up to my room? It’s on the second level.”

“No. I have to get back and work on my novel.”

“Does this mean I won’t be seeing you again?”

“I don’t know. How long are you going to be in town?”

“Not sure. As long as I want, I guess. You have to eat. I noticed your cupboards were nearly empty. You have one egg left in your refrigerator. If I was home, I’d invite you in for dinner.”

“You cook?”

“I’m a great cook. Dinner would be better than that soupy mac and cheese you fed me last night.”

“You ate it though.”

“I have good manners, that’s why I didn’t say anything.”

“Make a deal with you, if you’ll cook me a good dinner. You sign out here and I’ll put you up in my home. Not where I work, but where I live when I’m not writing. You can stay as long as you want. I won’t be around during the day, but I will come down for a good meal.”

“Do you have a washer and dryer I could use?”

“Washer only and you have to use the microwave to dry your underthings.”

“You got a kick out of that didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did. I’ll never use the microwave again without remembering.”

“And I thought you were gay! Okay I’ll pay up and move. God this is weird. I’m not believing this. Wait ten minutes, I never unpacked so I’ll just gather my suitcase.”

Pamela followed me back to West Brattleboro and up Greenleaf Street where we turned left onto another street. It was the second house in. I hit the garage door and she pulled right in beside me. I took her suitcase and put it into the upstairs bedroom. She came in behind me. “Nice room.” She looked puzzled. “It is almost as if I remember it, it looks so familiar. I know I have never been here. Strange.”

It might have been strange, but maybe not totally. This was the bedroom that Janis and I used. Janis probably had a picture of it and Pamela had seen it. I wonder what Pamela would say when she found out I had been married to her step-mom at one time.

“Pantry and fridge are fully stocked. There is a freezer out in the garage. It has roasts and stuff in it. I’m leaving. What time is the dinner you promised?”

“Six would be just about right.”

“Okay, I’ll see you then.”

I had many distractions before while writing, but this time I couldn’t concentrate the way I usually was able to. It wasn’t Pamela either. Thoughts of Janis kept intruding the way they hadn’t for years. I finally shut the word processor down and flopped down on the bed that Pamela had slept in the night before. There was her faint scent on the pillow. I recognized it as one I remembered Janis wearing.

I finally, after a crazy little daydream of “what if,” got dressed and left for town. I was early and when I went into the kitchen, I surprised Pamela, who jumped, and then almost screamed. She said loudly, “John I didn’t expect you this early. Dinner isn’t ready yet. You’ll have to wait.”

“I can do that. Is there anything I can help you with?”

“As a matter of fact, there is. There are two towels in the microwave. Would you take them up and toss them on the bed for me?”

“Are they what I think they are?”

“Take them upstairs. Look if you want to. I’m not in them so it is nothing to me.”

I was shaking my head. I suppose I had started this this morning by taking note of what my oven was being used for. I tucked the towels under my arm and headed up. I glanced back and could see a smirk on Pamela’s face. I smiled back.

The bedroom door went back against a chair positioned behind it so a person could look out the nearby window, looking down on the flowerbed below. I paid no attention as I waltzed in and tossed the towels on the bed. The blue one sprung open exposing a pair of panties. I didn’t go near them. Not my thing. If I wanted to see panties, I wanted a woman in them.

“It has been a long time since you have gazed on anything of mine like that, hasn’t it John?”

I knew the voice and I knew the person that it emanated from. I turned to where Janis was rising from the chair. “Janis, I didn’t expect you. I should have, though. Pamela has had me off balance ever since I met her.” I stopped speaking and looked at my ex-wife. She looked much the same as I remembered, only more mature of course. The one thing I took note of was she wasn’t wearing the angry look of the last few times we were together. That was other than the tears she had tried to keep hidden from me when we left the lawyer’s office so long ago.

“It must be a surprise finding me here. Pamela called me this morning after you left to go write. I live near enough so I could drive and be here for dinner. You don’t mind do you? I’m hoping what drove us apart is behind us and we can be friends.”

“That would be nice. When did you tell her we were married at one time?”

“Not until I arrived. She is so thrilled about it. Oh, the panties in the microwave, that was her idea. She wanted you to be shocked because you hadn’t told her about our past.”

“Let’s go downstairs. I wouldn’t want her to get any ideas about us.”

“No ideas at all, John?”

“Not at this time. I am pleased to see you again, though. You haven’t changed that much. Still the beautiful doll I fell in love with in tenth grade.”

“I was your beautiful doll at one time, wasn’t I? That is how you used to refer to me. I’d forgotten. Time has softened some of the harsh feeling I had against you as well. I suppose I was curious how I would feel seeing you again. I must say, I’m glad I came down today.”

“Where is down from located?”

“Rutland. I work for the city administration as a clerk in the lister’s office. I can only stay until tomorrow. This is a busy time with tax rates being set in June.”

I didn’t ask how she felt now that she had satisfied her curiosity. I knew how I felt. My mind was a jumble of opposing senses. I wanted to hug and kiss her, and at the same time, I wanted to slap her for leaving me. I think I hid the turmoil that I was nearly overwhelmed with. “Let’s go down. May I take your arm? The staircase is wide enough.”

I hadn’t needed to say that. Janis knew this, for we often in previous years had gone down together when going out. This was a new/old experience for me. My arm tingled where hers was nestled with mine. She must have felt something like I did, for she was grasping my arm as if she didn’t want to ever let go.

“Is dinner ready?” I wasn’t going to make my acceptance of what she had surprised me with easy for Pamela. “Mrs. Becker claims to be hungry.” A disappointed look crossed her face. I relented. “Pamela, you sure do know how to please a man. First the food looks and smells wonderful, and then you arrange for me to have two beautiful women to dine with. Thank you.”

She was grinning broadly. “How did you like the way I set up you two meeting and coming together after being apart for so long?”

“It was masterful, but what would have happened if we couldn’t get along again?”

“That wouldn’t happen and I knew it. You forget I’ve lived with Mom for five years and I know you are a pussy cat. Even if you still harbored resentment against your wife, you have too much class to show it.” What could I say?

Pamela loaded the dishwasher and said, “I’m going to go up on Putney Road to get eggs. You’re out and I like ham and eggs for breakfast.”

“You could find eggs at the 7-Eleven just down the street.”

“I could, but that wouldn’t give you time to romance Mrs. Becker. Oh, I mean your ex-wife, Janis. You must have some catching up to do. I’ll give you an hour at least.”

“Pamela!”

“Okay Mom, I’ll leave, but you have to admit that this is quite a coincidence the way I met an author I have admired and find out he is your ex-husband. Hey have fun, I’m gone.” The door slammed on the laughter that was trailing her exit.

I took Janis’ hand and led her to the next room. We sat on the living room couch. We didn’t get close, but this way we could turn and look at the other person while we talked.

“Have you had a good life Janis?”

“Without you, you mean?”

“Yes, that is what I meant.”

“It hasn’t been too bad. The first couple of years I wondered if I had done the right thing. Then I met Pamela’s father and things got better for me. I loved him and I love Pamela. This made my life whole and almost complete. I seldom thought about you. That is not until I lost Brian. You know death can bring about closure and a person can move on because he or she isn’t here anymore. It is different with a divorce. There isn’t ever any real closure. You know you can call your ex up and say something to him or her. A million times in the first year I almost did that.”

“You wonder if you made the correct decision. Is that it?”

“Yes. It might be different if there was some cheating going on, but in our case there wasn’t.”

“But there was, Janis. I was cheating you. Not sexually. Hell, I didn’t take care of you, so how could I have an affair with someone else. I cheated by not giving you my full attention. My attention was directed to my work. I don’t blame you for leaving. I wonder if when you took the royalties from my book if that wasn’t meant to be revenge. If it was, it backfired because it only drove me harder to become the author I am today.”

“So you are saying you had closure and I didn’t?”

“Mostly. I have lightened up in the last couple of years and don’t work all of the time. Right now I am trying to get a book finished, so having Pamela come by my workplace is a distraction I resent. The same resentment as when I was married to you. But that is going to end in a couple of weeks. I’m booked for a flight to Spain where my next book is being set. I’ll spend a month there. I’ll probably take up with a local woman and enjoy myself. Then I’ll say good-bye to her and travel to another place the book needs for a setting.”

“Do you always find a woman?”

“I haven’t had any problem yet. Look at me, Janis. I’m a well-known author. I keep myself in shape. I spend money freely and I’m sexually accomplished. Why would I have a problem finding someone for my bed?”

“Put that way, I guess not. What about when you come home and start writing? You must get lonely.”

“Sometimes, but only when I can’t move my story forward or I know my plot is weak. It goes away. I do have friends I can call for a dinner out and some of them pay me with favors.”

We sat silently for several minutes while Janis was thinking over what I had just told her. “John, I’d like to have you call me to go out for dinner sometime. The other, the payment, well we could come to terms on that.”

“I may do that.”

“I have one question. What about Pamela? She said you had invited her to stay here in your house. What are your intentions concerning her? Are you going to get her into your bed?”

“None of your business, that. I will tell you though, I won’t for now while I’m finishing my book. Then I’m going abroad, so I won’t be here. I admit she is cute and I suspect from our conversations she is pretty hot. With the break up between her and Bob, it wouldn’t be difficult to get her into bed. More to the point for me though, and this is something about morals I suppose, she is your stepdaughter. “I’m not kinky and I haven’t thought about this yet and won’t unless she pushes me. On the surface, it would look like me screwing a woman and eight years later doing her daughter. That’s not me.”

“I guess she is safe then, but if you examine the situation, there isn’t really any reason why you shouldn’t make love to her, but I don’t know as I want you to.”

Chapter Two

The conversation went no further. We could hear Pamela drive in. She came in all smiles. “So did you two kick over old ashes and start new fires? Maybe you need more time. I can leave again if you say so.” We both laughed and shook our heads that we didn’t. The evening was spent with Janis and I sitting around and reminiscing about going to school together and getting married and finally ending our life together in divorce. Pamela listened without saying much at first.

“I don’t think you two hate each other. You certainly don’t sound like it. Mom, can’t you persuade John to come back into your life? John, Mom obviously still has some love for you.”

“I’m sure she does and I’ve enjoyed sitting here talking with her. She was my first love and that means something. I drove her away with my own stupidity and she was right to ask for a divorce and leave when she did. If she came back to me, she would always wonder if I was going to do the same thing to her again. It is a matter of trust. To further the argument Pamela, I can’t in all good conscience promise not to treat her the same way as I did before.”

“You can be friends with her can’t you? I need you to at least be friends. Then I can say to Mom, ‘I’m going down to see John.’ When I get here, I can say that Mom sends you a kiss and you can’t deny me.”

“Is that what this is all about? You want a kiss from me?”

“It would be nice. Bragging rights at the school reunion, you know.”

“When is this reunion?”

“Two weeks from next Saturday. It is in Rutland, of course.”

“Now that you have broken your engagement with Bob, who is going to be your escort? You can’t really go alone. That would make you a loser.” I stared intently at her, but couldn’t keep a straight face. She knew something was coming. “Pamela, may I escort you to your high school dance and reunion?”

There was a squeal and Pamela landed on my lap, trying to kiss me. Janis was laughing at her antics. I held her off. “This comes with restrictions you must abide by before I take you. You have to leave me alone to work on my book until I pick you up. Can you agree to that?”

“I certainly can. I’ll even cook and do your laundry and go grocery shopping and wash your car. In return, you do have to promise to kiss me at the end of the dance.”

“Little enough to pay and we have a date. Talk to Janis about what you want to wear, etc. Janis may I come up and stay over the Friday night before the dance? Pamela will want to get all dolled up and she will need her hair done.”

“You mean I can stay here until then?”

“Yes. You promised to do all of the chores around here. You can’t do them living in Rutland can you? This way, I might even get my book finished.”

I turned to my ex-wife. “Janis, I never wanted to interrupt my writing long enough to take you on a vacation when we were married. How would the two of you like to go to Spain with me for a month?”

My ex-wife’s eyes lit up. “I’d love to. When are you leaving?” Plans were discussed about passports and what should be packed for clothes. I was to make the travel arrangements and reservations. This was no problem.

It was ten in the evening before it was decided to pack it in. From my room I could hear the two women talking. I even heard my name a few times, but not what was said.

I was up early and Janis came into the kitchen as I was pouring coffee. “You did the best thing by inviting Pamela to her reunion. Not once did I hear her mention her father and his dying. You wouldn’t know, but she took his death very hard. First her mother and then Brian. I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t been there for her.”

“She gives you credit and I think it is wonderful that you have helped her through her loss. Tell me, how are you financially? Pamela said you turned over funds that you could have claimed for your own.”

“I’m fine. I’m still drawing some royalties from your book. I have my work and I have some money in investments. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“That’s great. Look I’m going to head up the mountain to my cabin. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks. One thing, caution Pamela about having a relationship with me. I would be no better for her than I was for you.”

“John, that is something I can’t interfere with. I disliked Bob, the man she was engaged to. The jury is still out on you. You claim you haven’t changed that much, but you are nowhere near as intense or impassioned as you used to be. That is good.”

“Whatever. Tell Pamela I will expect dinner at six. Have a good trip home.” I backed my car out of the garage and when I glanced back, Pamela and Janis stood in the doorway watching me leave. I didn’t need this. Women were certainly a distraction. Habit or discipline, I don’t know which let me put the thought of the two women aside and I had a very productive day. I piled onto my bicycle at 5:45 and walked in my door at 6:00.

I startled Pamela, as she didn’t hear me arrive. She was singing and jumped. Quickly she said, “Here is my husband home after a hard day of work. I have cold beer, or would you prefer wine? Roast chicken is on the menu and I found fresh peas in the grocery.”

As Pamela removed her apron I said, “First I’m not your husband, but saying I am lets me believe you have an imagination. That is what it takes to be a writer. You need fantasy and daydreams to go along with the ability to get those down on paper. We’ll talk about this after dinner. Right now I’m starved.”

I was pretty mellow after the meal and said I had had a good day on my book. “Pamela, you have declared you wanted to be an author. Anyone can say that. Tomorrow why don’t you use the word processor in my office and write something for me to look over?”

“I wanted to today but I didn’t know if I should. Thank you. I’ll compose something. I didn’t hear you come home. Did you get a ride with someone?”

“No, I rode my bike. That’s the way I keep in shape. Sitting on my butt all day doesn’t do much for my physique. I use the bike for exercise when I can.”

“How do you get back to your camp in the morning? It is all up hill, especially after you leave the highway.”

“That’s the exercise part. In the winter, I use a gym. I work mostly here at home then anyway.”

“Don’t you lose time on your book when you are on your bike?”

“No. Actually I’m inspired. I think of what my characters are going to say or do and I’m all fired up when I get to where I can put them down on the page.”

“I’ll never be like you.”

“I should hope not. Each person has to have his or her way of doing things. I’m going to work for an hour or so. Do you have everything covered here?”

“I guess. That is if you aren’t going to relax and talk to me.”

“No, I’m not. Janis should have warned you about the way I am.”

“She warned me about something, but she didn’t cover that. I just may not listen to her.”

“I told you once that is a sure way to get your heart broken. You had better heed what she said.”

“It is my heart isn’t it?” I didn’t answer. I took a thumb drive out of my pack and headed for the office. It would only take a few minutes to set up the story before I could continue writing where I had left off earlier this afternoon. I would store it tonight and take the portable drive with me in the morning. I worked longer than I planned and Pamela had gone to bed when I saved everything and headed for the shower. There were no panties on the towel rack. I smiled, wondering why I thought there might be.

Pamela poured the coffee at breakfast. “Worked late last night didn’t you?”

“Yes, I got involved in a scene and it was flowing right along, so I finished it.”

“Do you have any orders for me today?”

“As a matter of fact I do. You were going to write something for me to read. If you get stuck, call Hugo. If he isn’t busy writing you can tell him why you are in town and staying here with me. He’ll laugh if you tell him I don’t have time to entertain you. He knows me that well.”

“Okay, but I’m writing something first. Get out of here so I can get started. I don’t need you around to distract me.”

She was watching for me on my bicycle that evening and again I had a wonderful meal. “Okay Pamela, show me what you have written today?”

“I wondered if you would ask. When you first came in, you didn’t seem interested to know if I had done anything. What I have done is tell about my first meeting with you from my point of view. I first explained how fearful I was that Bob would find me when I ran away from him and then what relief it was to find the path to your camp.

“I maybe was a little heavy with the resentment I felt when you didn’t fall down and offer to help a damsel in distress. I think I got you showing that you were an egotistical person who only cared about himself. You came off pretty resentful yourself because I was there before you and you kept right on lying to me. The panties in the microwave scene I played up, adding details about your expressions, etc.

“You read it and tell me what you think. Of course you may make me cry, but I need an honest critique.”

“Okay, I’ll read it as if I wasn’t there and I was someone that you were just telling about it.” There were seven pages of 12 pt type and it was long enough so I would get a good idea of the way she wrote. The story she told was a great piece of journalism. Here and there, there was some flair that showed imagination, but I was going to have to tell her it was too factual if she was going to write fiction. I sat there at the kitchen table with the sheets of paper before me.

Pamela came out of the living room where she had been waiting for me to finish. “Well, tell me!”

“Okay, but you may not like what I’m going to say. First, I think you are at a crossroads. This is a great piece of journalism and I think you could go on to be a great reporter. There is a lot of money to be made in the media. The downside is that you would be traveling all of the time chasing the next breaking news story.

“If you want to write fiction, it might not bring in as much money, but you are working totally for yourself. You are totally in control of your life. I don’t see too much of that here. Maybe your forte will be in biographies.

“To recap--this is, as I have said, a great piece of factual journalism. Some of it I know because I was there and know about what actually transpired. Tomorrow, if I haven’t broken your spirit, do some fiction. Take a name out of the air and make a story up about the character. If you want to set the story someplace and want it believable, look up the location on the computer. Put your characters there. Someone may read your story who is intimately knowledgeable with the location and if you don’t have it right, they will let you know.

“Do you read porn on the Internet?” The question threw Pamela’s face into shock. I continued without waiting for an answer, “Of course you do. We all do at certain times. Keep your story within the realm of the possible. The descriptions the authors have for their characters and actions are often so far from what people look like and do, you just move on to a different story. What I’m saying is, if you are going to write fiction, make it believable.”

Pamela was looking disappointed and needed a boost. “I’m sitting here looking at your work. The work itself is flawless. I couldn’t compose what you wrote without an editor penciling some of it. So what you have learned in college is evident. You are already better in that respect than I am. All you have to decide now is in what direction you want to go.”

“John, thank you. I think you are going to be a big help to me. You explain things and I believe what you say more than some professor lecturing on the subject. You’ve been there and it sounds as if you had to learn to write much by trial and error.”

“You could say that. I will help you all I can. After all you are my ex-wife’s stepdaughter.”

“That may be, but that doesn’t make us family.” Why was that important to her I wondered to myself?

It had been more than a year since I had a woman stay over more than a few nights and do housework for me. This one made me dinner every night and sat down while I looked over what she had written during the day. I came home one evening and received an apology before I sat down. “Pizza tonight. It will be here in ten minutes. I was writing and forgot the time.”

I didn’t say it, but this made me think Pamela had the makings of a writer. Her work was excellent mechanically. Her conversations between characters were somewhat stilted. This was more because she had them speak in well-rounded perfect sentences. People didn’t always talk that way when conversing. Being hurt, sad, angry, even horny, often shortened speech into partial sentences and were much more effective getting the point across. Slang was also effective, especially when the character was uneducated. You had to place your characters in the social strata and not deviate from their position. Case in point, a lawyer wouldn’t be using “ain’t,” but a person in a poorer neighborhood possibly would.

Pamela listened to me pontificate and sometimes argued with me. This was good. I wanted her to think and put herself into the mind of any character who was in her story. I was pleased at what she was writing and I knew it was her and not what I was telling her. Well maybe some of what I said. I enjoyed having her here with me and I would miss her when she went on with her life.

My book was written. Now it had to be looked at and edited. This gave me a break while waiting for the manuscript to return. We left for Rutland Thursday after Pamela informed Janis we were coming up. Janis met us at the door saying dinner was ready. Pamela hugged Janis and my ex-wife looked at me. I shrugged and she came into my arms. I was careful not to put any passion into the kiss and we stepped apart. “Wow, if I can get a kiss when John comes to visit, I’ll have to invite him more often.”

“You’re lucky, Mom. John has shown absolutely no inclination to kiss me. I guess he looks on me as his housekeeper.”

“That is so, but I’ll go on record telling everyone you are a damned good one. I was able to complete my book a week early. That is a sure way to my heart.”

Janis laughed. “You don’t change at all. It all goes back to your writing. Come let’s eat.”

It was an easy and relaxing evening. Janis kept things light, I think knowing I might be a little nonplussed by being here where she had found love with another man. I wasn’t. Her husband’s picture was displayed prominently in several areas. Many were with Pamela and quite a few with them as a family. They looked happy in all of them. This led me to comment. “Janis, I’m so pleased you found someone to be happy with. I am very sorry that your husband passed on and your happiness couldn’t continue.”

“Thank you, John. I almost removed some of the pictures when I knew you were coming, but Pamela would have noticed.”

“I’m glad you didn’t. In fact it lessens the guilt I feel for not doing better by you when we were married.”

“Enough of this, John. You are here and you’ve made friends with Pamela. She has called me several times telling me you are taking time from your book to tell her some about the writing business. I said before, you have changed. You even look happier now than when I lived with you.”

“That just comes from being successful, I think. Writing is my life’s work. I knew it back then and I just had to accomplish it. To change the subject, did you have any trouble getting time off to travel with me and Pamela?”

“I was going to talk to you about that. The time you said you were going to be in Spain doesn’t coincide with my vacation schedule. I have the last two weeks free while you are there. May I fly over and join you? We will still have two weeks together.”

“If that is all you can be with us, sure, that will work. I’m still buying your tickets for the flight and we will be living in a small villa when you reach us. I’m sorry you won’t be with us for the full time.”

“I’m sorry too.” Janis and Pamela started talking about the upcoming dance and what she would have to do to get ready. She had a gown already that she had worn to some other function.

“John, I had to notify the committee who my date was going to be. I just told them I was bringing JB Smith. I want it to be a surprise to everyone that I can have someone as well-known as you for a date.”

“Okay with me. It is your reunion. I’m looking forward to a great time with you.”

“People are going to be really shocked that I’m not with Bob. Many of the kids I went to school with knew we were engaged and the break up has been recent. My social status is going to soar, because my classmates felt about Bob the way Mom did. He wasn’t well liked at all. I could never understand it then, but I guess after the way he treated me lately, I can. I’m so excited.”

Pamela was a vision when she came down the stairs in her gown. The gown wasn’t one to flaunt her shape, but with the figure she had, any gown except a flour sack would do. Her hairdo was unique in a way and I had never seen one such as hers. Her hair was long and the center was flowing down her back. Each side though, the hairdresser had made tight little curl ringlets that framed her face. These were highlighted with gold and went well with the satiny tan that was her natural color.

Myself, I had on conservative evening wear. I think we made a handsome couple. Janis took enough pictures of us, which made me think it must be so. I made sure we both had flowers. Mine, a single tinted carnation, and hers, orchids surrounding a single red rose. Somehow the rose was of the same shade as her gown. That was luck and not planned. It set a nice tone for the evening to come.

Pamela told me a little about her school and playing basketball. She said there were 271 students in her class and there were 14 who had already passed on. There were expected to be somewhere near 180 classmates who would make the dance tonight. A big sign saying “Go Red Raiders” was hung over the entrance to the hall.

We entered and received our name tags and Pamela started looking for her friends. One woman went by. “Hi Pam, too bad about Bob. Got what he deserved, I guess.” She never paused and left us standing there. Pamela was mystified as to what the woman meant. Finally she spotted the classmates she was looking for. There were three couples and a single man standing together talking. They went silent when we approached.

One girl stepped forward and hugged my date. “I’m so sorry. This must be awful for you.”

“What is? What do you mean?”

“Bob and what happened to him. Haven’t you heard?”

“I guess not. I haven’t seen him for three weeks. He followed me to Brattleboro and we talked. So what happened?”

“I can see you didn't know everything about Bob. He was caught by a husband while he was in the wife’s bedroom. The story is that this affair had been ongoing for several months. You didn’t suspect?”

“No, of course not. When I saw him with another woman though, I broke our engagement. He tried to talk me into taking him back, but I didn’t. What happened?”

“He got the proverbial shit kicked out of him. He has two broken ribs and a ruptured spleen along with having his facial features rearranged. The rumor is that he will never be able to father any kids either. The guy is in jail for domestic assault because he also slapped his wife around at the same time. Oh Pam, I’m so glad you aren’t with Bob anymore. We all knew he was a sleaze ball, but you couldn’t see it.”

I was being stared at because I hadn’t been introduced. Pamela made the introductions, still not identifying me as John Booker Smith. She apologized the minute we had a minute alone. “This can’t be a fun time for you, knowing your date has just come off an engagement to someone like Bob.”

“Pamela, think nothing of it. You’re not involved in any scandal and people that know will just think you lucky that you aren’t. Let’s go find where we will be sitting for dinner. They said name tags are in place where we are to sit. I’ve been to more of these reunions than you have. I’ll get you seated and get us something to drink.” Pamela’s friends had seats near us so I got drinks for the whole group, coming back and dodging people with my tray full of beverages. I sat back and relaxed watching Pamela. I could tell she wasn’t too broken up over the news about her former boyfriend.

My meal of roast pork tasted much like every meal did at functions such as this. The green beans had come out of a can and the gravy for the pork had as well. Maybe even the potatoes were instant, I couldn’t tell for sure. The brownie and ice cream tasted as expected. Now it was time for us to suffer through the class speakers. First the class president gave the usual “glad you could make it” speech and the class treasurer gave his accounting.

The last speaker was an English teacher who had been inveigled into saying something about how some of his students had gone on to use what he had taught. I had met him twice at book signings, but had never had more than a few words with him.

“I’d like to believe what I taught you students has helped you to find employment since you graduated. Some of you have gone on to higher education and have graduated. What I taught you I hope has helped. I know of two of my students who have jobs as newspaper reporters. Three have gone into radio. One of you that I know of has a job in television, though not in front of a camera yet, but it will come. You have to pay your dues. Sometimes it takes years before we might see your face on television in a national market, but it could happen.

“I see one of my students here that has just received her degree in journalism from UVM. I am curious as to what direction she will take in the future. Pamela Becker, would you share with us what the future holds for you?”

Pamela’s face flamed and she sat still for a minute before rising to her feet. She stood and gathered her thoughts. The microphone was passed down from the speaker who reached for another hand-held one. “Thank you Mr. Byrd. I feel my life has just started, so I have little to say. I did do well with my studies in college. I’m still at loose ends, but I think I’m leaning toward writing fiction.

“I had heard about a writer of short stories who posts them on the Internet. I went south to Brattleboro to see if I could meet him. I haven’t yet, but I have been promised an introduction by another author whom I met through an odd coincidence. This author is world renowned and at present has become my mentor. In return, I have been keeping house for him while he finished writing his latest book. He has taken an interest in me and has invited my Mom and me to travel to Spain with him. He hopes to set his next novel in the city of Cordoba and then we will move on to Granada.

“All the time I will be traveling with him, I’ll be taking notes about salient points and how to set a scene. He has impressed on me that a story can’t be all action or all dialogue. You have to put in what is around the characters as they travel along toward the conclusion of the story. Everything impacts your plot, including background, history, family, good and evil and the more you weave these things into your story the better it is. Those are his words coming from my lips. I may become an author someday. It will only be because I had Mr. Byrd for a teacher of English and some professors of journalism at UVM and now, Mr. John Booker Smith, my mentor. John, say a word.”

I rose to my feet. “Thank you Pamela. Just a little about me that isn’t on my book jackets. I have never mentored anyone before. I had to learn how to write and tell a story pretty much on my own. Pamela I believe, has the intelligence and dedication to become a great author. Anything I can do to speed up the process for her will be my reward. The country will be the ultimate beneficiary. Thank you.”

I started to sit down. From another table came a question. “Are you in a relationship with Pam?”

“No physical relationship, although her beauty is blinding. And before more questions are asked about this, we both feel that there is nothing to be gained by starting a relationship. To me, falling in love would be distracting to my writing. I have followed this premise for ten years, although I was married for a short time. I can’t speak for Pamela, but she seems to be of the same thought.”

“Can I have your autograph?”

“Yes, if you approach me before the band begins to play. Mr. Byrd, thank you for putting the spotlight on Pamela. I’ll give the mike back to you.”

A line formed behind my chair and pieces of paper and odd items were presented to me to write on. One girl wanted to kiss me and I obliged. Several said Pamela was so lucky. I was thankful when the music started. “Now I know John, what it is like to be famous.”

“It is fun, but you have to set boundaries. You saw how I said I would sign until the band played. Otherwise you would be up dancing with others instead of me.”

“You want to dance with me?”

“Yes.” Two sets later, her head was laying on my shoulder.

Pamela waited for me at her door while I parked my car. “You promised me a kiss if I was a good girl and did your chores for you.”

“Yes and I never renege on a promise.” She came into my arms. I had had several drinks as had she. It had lowered our inhibitions and for too long we reveled in what we were doing.

She spoke, “John_”

I put my finger on her lips as I came to my senses. “No Pam, please don’t go there. I want to keep our association on a platonic level. You are a beautiful woman and it would be so easy to make love to you. Maybe we will someday, but I want you to concentrate on learning how to write a book. You have so much potential, I don’t want you to get off track. I’m only thinking of you.”

“Bullshit. I don’t know what your problem is, but I don’t believe a word you are saying. Thanks for the kiss.” She whirled away from me. “You know where you are sleeping. I’ll let you find your own way in. Goodnight.” She opened the door and disappeared up the stairs. For once, I didn’t know what my problem was either.

I lay in bed thinking. Was I a fool? What about Janis? I knew she didn’t want me in a relationship with Pamela. Did I owe my ex-wife anything? How would she feel if she heard me in bed with her stepdaughter. I decided I still had some love for Janis. I didn’t feel anything sexual for her, but I wanted her to be my friend and going to bed with Pamela would destroy that budding friendship.

Pamela? Before I went to sleep, I had to admit to myself that I was falling in love. How was this going to impact my life? Too bad I couldn’t look into the future and make a decision on what I saw there. I suppose I would do as millions of lovers did before me and that would be to wing it!

I smelled coffee and even though it was early, I went down to find Janis in the kitchen. She poured a cup and passed a plate of store-bought doughnuts across to me. “Did you have a good time at the dance?”

“Yes, of course. I had a few more drinks than I should have. I’m getting too old to keep up with the crowd. I must say Pamela can hold her own.”

“That probably comes from practice. I worried about her drinking so much on weekends while at school. Sometimes I don’t think she could remember what she did. She is away from a drinking crowd now and that will help. I take it you don’t drink to excess?”

“No, I never have. I just didn’t want to be a wet blanket last night. I value a clear head in the morning.” Janis went about getting me some breakfast and we talked more of times past and memories we shared. An hour later, Pamela came down and poured herself coffee. She was looking wan and pale. Suddenly she rose and headed for the bathroom.

When she came back she stated, “I’m not drinking so much ever again. I feel awful. How are you feeling, John?”

“Not too bad. Janis’ coffee set me right up. Eat a doughnut, that will help.” Pamela was up and headed back to the bathroom before I finished speaking and didn’t return to the kitchen. Instead she went up to her room to lie down. By noon she was back with us feeling much better.

“Mom, I heard that Bob got himself into trouble recently. I understand he was caught in bed with some woman and got the crap beat out of him. I want to apologize to you. You were right about him and I wouldn’t listen. At least I wasn’t going with him when this happened. Another thing my friends neglected to tell me was that he had been cheating on me for several months and I didn’t know it.”

“Well Dear, put it behind you and be glad you have saved yourself some embarrassment and heartache. Have you got everything ready to fly out with John next week?”

“All packed. I did it last night when I came home from the dance. I guess I better check through again. I was still pretty drunk and I was also too mad to think straight or sleep.”

“Why were you mad?”

“I was mad at John. He is so damned straitlaced. I wanted to fool around a little and he wouldn’t. I wouldn’t have let it go too far. Sometimes he acts afraid of a woman.”

I was sitting listening to this conversation and needed to defend myself. “Pamela, I wanted you last night more than I have wanted anyone in years. You may say you were in control, but you weren’t because you were drinking. I didn’t want it to go so far to where I couldn’t stop either because I had drunk more than usual myself. I’m surprised I was able to drive us from the dance. It is a good thing a cop didn’t pull us over. Luck was with me, I guess.”

“I was pushing too hard, wasn’t I? It wouldn’t have been as much fun as when I do get you into my bed with both of us stone cold sober. I can wait.”

“Pamela, you’re incorrigible. Behave yourself right now!”

“Okay Mom, but I have so much fun baiting John.”

“John has done a lot for you in the last couple of weeks. Don’t make him angry with your foolishness. He has invited us to vacation with him. He couldn’t do that ten years ago and with good reason, because he wanted to become established as an author. He has achieved what he set out to do. I’m thrilled that he thought enough of his ex-wife to give me what he didn’t back then. Please don’t spoil this for me?”

Pamela didn’t answer her mother. Instead she turned to me. “John, I had such a wonderful time last night. I was so proud to be seen as your date. You danced with me and held me just as if we were a couple. I wanted just a little more and now I see I should have been satisfied with what I had already. Forgive me?”

“Forgiven Pamela. Janis, it would have to take a lot to make me un-invite either one of you. I’m looking forward to having some companions on this trip and I’m sure we will have a most enjoyable time.”

This brought smiles to both women. “Pamela, do you want to visit your old boyfriend to see how badly he was injured? We could stay over one day and you could look him up.”

“No, he is out of my life for good. I will call his mother tomorrow, though, and tell her I’m sorry about Bob being injured. She is a very nice lady.”

“That’s settled then. I think we will head back to Brattleboro. I need to pack although we don’t fly out until Wednesday.” We said our good-byes to Janis. I was looking forward to having her with us in Spain. “Maybe this morning after you call Bob’s mother would be a good time for you to meet Hugo. I’ll call him before lunch. He is always interested in what I’m planning for my next book.”

“What are you planning? You haven’t said.”

“I’m thinking of writing a historical novel. I did some research last summer about Spain and some of the conflicts that took place down through the centuries. There certainly was enough going on to write fifteen novels. Here in the states we have four centuries of history. I could pick any few years during the period 711 to 1492 in Spanish history. It was a time of continual combat between religions.”

“Oh, you are talking about Columbus and the King and Queen of Spain, Ferdinand and Isabella.”

“No, Columbus was more of a side event, although the king and queen did charge him to find a more direct route to India. What I am talking about is their major victory over the Moors. Those two monarchs drove the last of the followers of Islam out earlier that same year. They also drove out the Jews at the same time. Catholicism reined supreme in Spain after this.

“It was a bloody time in history and the Catholics were perpetrators of some terrible abuses all in the name of the Lord. It became much worse before the church became more tolerant. Think about the Spanish Inquisition. Abuses were perpetrated here in the new world. Central and South America suffered at the hands of the conquistadors, some because of pure greed. The rest because they felt it was their God-given duty to convert the heathen.”

“Islam had a foothold in Spain? I thought that centered around Turkey and Constantinople and the Mideast.”

“Maybe Pam, but followers of Islam at one time covered more than half of the known world. China was not involved, but parts of northern Africa, all of the Mideast, and much of the Balkans to the north came under Islam’s influence. When the Iberian Peninsula was invaded, the mountains of the Pyrenees helped stop them from invading into France.

“In a way you could say this was a war waged between the followers of the prophets, Jesus and Muhammad, although being born some 570 years apart. I can’t understand why so many people have died following the teaching of two prophets. Prophets who taught love and tolerance toward our fellowman. In both instances there has to be a disconnect of what these two intended and man’s interpretations. Greed, power, religious fervor, and yes, outright evil, had to have distorted what the Lord put these two on earth to teach.

“Does man, who performs these terrible acts in the name of the Lord, ever answer for these crimes, even though well intended? If God sent down another prophet now, would he be listened to? Or would those who listened to this new prophet take up arms and try to vanquish the old order? To me it is a vicious cycle and maybe the Lord has abandoned us already.”

“He can’t have. We have to believe in something. Maybe I’m not as religious as I should be, but I do have faith.”

“I guess that is what makes you so sweet. You have had tragedy in your life by losing both parents at an early age. Maybe it was your faith that brought you Janis to care for you.”

Chapter Three

“So, John, what are you looking for specifically in Spain?”

“Just some legend from a villager that I can inject some fictional characters into and make a story out of it. I don’t know yet whether they will be Jewish, Moor or Christian. The story may include followers all three teachings. I might even make the main character one of the French Crusaders. They were the ones who fought against the Islamic forces.”

I picked up my coffee cup and went into the living room. I let my mind wander over some of what I had related to Pamela. Most of my stories had a reasonably happy ending. This time I had almost decided I would make my new story a little more true to life. The hero doesn’t always live and sometimes the heroine ends up with the bad guy, not knowing what the future holds for her. Life is a series of decisions and we don’t always make the correct choices.

“I’m calling Sarah Burkheart, Bob’s mother.”

“Okay. I’m upstairs packing.” When I came down Pamela was sitting in the living room where I had sat earlier. “Did you talk to her?”

“Yes. She asked me to go see Bob. She said I was the only person she knew who had any influence over him. I guess he has been making threats, swearing he is going to kill the husband who beat him up. I told her I couldn’t. I was working for an author and was leaving for Spain on Wednesday to help him. I guess I learned I can lie just as you do sometimes. John, Bob is out of my life. If I saw him now, I know I would regret it.”

“You’re not stretching the truth too much. There are many things you will be doing for me. Forget Bob. His problems are ones he made himself. I’m going to call Hugo to see if he has time to meet us today.” I made the call. I came back to Pamela. “Hugo has to take his wife for a doctor’s appointment. His wife has been battling an illness for four years now. He says she isn’t even able to proofread his stories anymore which she enjoyed doing so much.”

I was silent thinking about my friends, she was so sick, and he having to cope the best he could. “Life sucks, and this is another one of those instances where bad things happen to good people. Come on, let’s get stuff for a picnic. We can drive by his place and go sit on the dam at Sunset Lake to eat lunch. We’ll stop by his farm on the way back and admire the view anyway.”

“You say farm. What does he grow?”

“He used to have a few head of beef. Now he just rents out the land to a dairy farmer. He wants the land kept open and not let it grow up to brush like so many un-worked farms have done. The fields are still mowed and pastures are still grazed. You’ll see how neat it looks.”

Sunset Lake was a reservoir for the water system of the Town of Brattleboro. There were no motor boats allowed. Canoes and small fishing crafts were allowed if oars were used. I took two air mattresses and we lay on these on top of the dam while eating our lunch. The wind came off the water and cooled us even lying in the bright sunshine as we were. It was a lazy, contented day.

Pamela was wearing a halter top and short shorts. I had on a tee and swim trunks. Both of us were trim. She from her youth, and me from my exercise regimen. “John, do you love Mom?”

I paused before answering. “On some level I do. If we were other than who we are, or should I say, who I am, we would have been happy together. Our hateful words were all behind us by the time the divorce was final. I guess if we rekindled our romance, we could be happy. That is if I changed. I don’t see that happening, so we’ll just be friends with a past that was at times wonderful and at times not so much.” Pamela didn’t say more and soon I fell asleep.

Later I awoke bathed in sweat for the sun bore down on us. I roused from hearing Pamela get up. She walked in front of me. She was beautiful. Her hair still was together the way the hairdresser had done it yesterday. I watched as she walked to the car for a drink of water and I openly watched as she returned.

“You’re staring.”

“No, just looking at something of beauty.” You can attempt to describe something beautiful, but it isn’t like seeing it before you. I said no more about how Pamela affected me. “I guess it is time we left. I want to still show you Hugo’s place. The sun will be coming in from the west and outlining the buildings. Part of the barn and the house were built in 1780. The barn was added to in 1900. Hugo told me this morning that the first cutting of hay was just completed. The fields will look like acres of lawn.

“In fact several artists come and paint either the barn or the open fields every year. Some fields are bordered with white birch trees both to the north and to the south and artists are drawn to these as well. To the southeast there is the view looking to Boston, Mass. Directly to the east there is New Hampshire with its mountains and villages.”

“I can see how you attract your readers. You paint a picture with words so a person can see it. Show me this place, oh great one.”

The next morning at breakfast Pamela said she wasn’t hungry. “Too much sun yesterday and I think I’m too excited about leaving tomorrow. Let’s go over the checklist again. You are sure we won’t get into trouble in Spain? I love my country and would hate it if anything happened to prevent me from coming home.”

I did have a list of the things we needed and a long list of do’s and don’ts to adhere to while traveling. We had taken the overseas shots I insisted on, and the week before I had purchased insurance, both medical and accident for all three of us. Money was to be exchanged at the airport when we landed in Madrid. I had traveled enough in years past so this was quite routine for me.

Wednesday morning we boarded our plane in Boston. I planned on laying over in Paris and taking Pamela to a club I had enjoyed visiting several times. I wondered if I should when my companion was airsick on the flight over. We had a great time and made a night of it. We didn’t leave France until late that next day, arriving in Madrid, Spain a few hours later. Immediately we boarded a train for Cordoba. We slept all the way.

Trains here traveled much faster than those in the states. It was eight in the morning when we found the small villa I had rented and we went immediately to bed. When we awoke it was unbearably hot and we couldn’t comfortably go out into the sun. The villa was well stocked with food and water. One of the cautions was to drink bottled water here.

We ventured out as the sun was going down and the city was coming alive. People were out and the streets were crowded. Most didn’t seem to be going anywhere, just enjoying the evening. There was a small street fair we paused to watch. I made my way to one of the places where I was to gather information I might want to put in my new book.

We were able to enter a cathedral that was billed as Catholic, but the architecture belied that it had been built by Christians. Many signs showed its Muslim beginnings. There were carvings on some of the appointments showing minarets. There was a guide at the entrance and he said the building was 1079 years old. This put it back to the age when the Moors held the city.

“Are you a Muslim?”

“No, I’m writing a book and contemplating setting the tale here.”

“You didn’t look or act Muslim. People come here from all over the world. Islam is tolerated in Spain and it is against the law to discriminate. We guides make a game of guessing who is Christian and who is of a different religious persuasion. Would you like some literature to take with you?”

“Yes, it would be very helpful.” We left with a sizable bundle of brochures. I was a little disappointed as we thumbed through the glossy folded pamphlets. The information was mostly about what happened after January of 1492. Then when I looked closely at the information, I could see the long battle the crusaders had fought to bring about their final victory on that date. I knew somewhere in this city, I would find the other side of the story and the battles for defense by the Islamic forces that had been fought to hold onto their religion and way of life here on the peninsula.

It was late evening when we found a place for dinner in a hotel. It was a jovial crowd and I heard several different languages spoken where we chose to dine. We had just been seated when the host asked if we would mind having another couple join us. How could we refuse?

He went away for a minute coming back followed by a couple. The man appeared to be my age or a little older. The woman was perhaps a year younger than me. “Senor Smith, meet Senor Ramda Qudos and Senorita Leanna. Thank you so much for providing seating for two of our guests who are staying here at the hotel. A waiter will be with you soon.” He hurried away, while our guests sat themselves.

“Hello, I’m John Smith and this is Pamela Becker. I’m an author and Miss Becker is traveling with me. She is taking notes while I am researching for a location to set a book.”

“American are you? That’s good. I’m a history professor. My roots came from Spain centuries ago. I thought I might try tracing a couple of them while here on vacation. Where are you from?”

“Brattleboro, Vermont. Pamela lives in Rutland.”

“Hey we’re neighbors. I teach in Buffalo, New York. Small world, isn’t it?” Just then the wine steward appeared and we ordered wine. It was on the table as soon as it was approved.

Pamela took a sip from her glass and said she guessed she would pass. “John took me out last Saturday and I drank more than I should have. I get this queasy feeling quite often since then.”

Leanna’s relationship to Ramda hadn’t been explained. I knew she was extremely pretty. She had flashing dark eyes and long flowing jet-black hair. Her shape was to die for. I glanced at Pamela. I don’t think she appreciated how Leanna looked as much as I did. Ramda was as handsome as a man could be. He was slightly taller than I was. What set him above others in looks was his trimmed goatee and his styled mane which was dark like Leanna’s.

Over dinner we learned more about each other and our reason for being here in Spain. Finally Pamela and I deduced that Leanna was Ramda’s sister. Their family was well-to-do and she just amused herself with charities, etc. Ramda explained that he was really serious about his teaching and wanted to find out more about his ancestors to show how history down through the years had progressed.

“You know a major part of history is driven by religion. Take my ancestors for instance. I’m not sure, but from what my grandfather has told me, much of our family history passed down by word of mouth, took place right here in Spain. I’m Catholic because my grandfather was when he came to the United States. Before that, I don’t know for sure. The story goes that one of my ancestors was with the 400 troops and their Moorish General, Gibril Tarik, who were the first to invade Spain. You, of course, know Gibraltar. The Rock was named after this leader. They were the followers of Mohammad.

"This first exploratory mission netted the Africans much loot after ravaging several small towns just inland. Later that same year he returned with 7000 African troops, defeating the Spanish King, Roderic. The Moors dominated the Iberian Peninsula for the next seven centuries. Their rule finally ended in 1492.”

Pamela looked at me for I had told her some of this previously. Ramda went on. “Cordoba soon became the light of the world and was its shining jewel. It was a modern metropolis, having centers of learning and museums. The library here held hundreds of thousands of manuscripts on everything including medicine, music, astronomy, etc. The city was a wonder of civil government. The streets here were paved and lighted at night and there were even sidewalks for the people to walk on.

“Spain was a rich country and the earth gave up its mineral wealth through extensive mining. There were thousands of markets scattered throughout the city, and public baths numbering in the hundreds. The schools were also public and the populace was 99% educated. This was Moorish Spain. In Catholic Europe at the time, even some kings couldn’t read or write, say nothing about the general public. Education was held in the churches and certainly some by Jews who were the bankers of the world.

“Slowly though, this came to an end as the kings of Europe with their Catholic crusaders, pushed back the Moors, taking one province after another. Illiterate, they set about destroying what the Muslims had built, burning the manuscripts and writings gathered by those who did, believing they contained heresy.

“Generally Islam, at the time, was a more tolerant religion, only asking for the original inhabitants to convert or be expelled. Many of the Spaniards resisted and took death rather than convert or leave their homeland. As the tide turned in favor of the Christian conquests, the land became even more bloody. Those people who had converted to the different religion were looked down on, much as the collaborators between the Nazis and the French during the second world war. Eventually the Moors were driven back to Africa. There were others who were driven out of the land at the same time. The Jews fared no better than the Moors.

“Damn it, you have just listened to one of my history lessons and we have just met over dinner. I’m sorry about that. Forgive me, please?”

It was Pamela who spoke, “No need, as John is here looking for a story. I’m sure he is more than just a little interested. I know I am.”

“Ramda, would you have lunch with us tomorrow at my villa? It will be cool there and we can explore this more. I have been told about an Islamic museum where there is sure to be more information on this subject.”

“I’d love to. Give me the address of your villa and we’ll come by taxi.”

We parted, and as it had been a long day, bed would be welcomed. The bedrooms of the villa were separated only by curtains that could be pulled aside to let the air circulate. I could hear Pamela making ready for sleep as I did likewise. “John, she is pretty isn’t she?”

“Leanna? Yes she is.”

“Do you find her attractive? I mean, would you like to make love to her?”

“Go to sleep, Pamela.”

Three hours later I arose, wanting to see more of the city before it got too warm. I had coffee in a small shop from the owner who was a very fat lady. When questioned which I would like, I opted for the very small black. I was used to this coffee from my travels in other countries. It surprised the owner that I relished it so. I tipped her heavily, saying she was an artist at brewing the concoction. She would have kissed me, she was that pleased.

As I walked along, I thought back to a half hour previously. I had come awake and before leaving, I stepped through the door to Pamela’s room. She was lying there Au natural on top of her bed. She looked so innocent. Yes, Leanna was beautiful, but nothing to compare to Pamela. Did I feel as if I was invading her privacy? No, I didn’t. How could I when such beauty was on display. I was thankful that I was the only one there to enjoy. I would be so jealous if anyone else viewed her as I was doing. Enough finally, I turned with the image of her etched firmly and forever in my mind.

I returned at eleven with Pamela just rising from her bed for breakfast. We had a muffin and some fruit at the same shop where I had coffee earlier. The owner purred over my companion. She was disappointed when I ordered coffee for Pamela weak and with milk. I had the same as before and the smiles came out.

We returned to the villa where we rested through the afternoon. I had made arrangements where I had my coffee to have a lunch for four catered in the villa. Did I want dinner? I would let her know when my luncheon guests arrived. Ramda and Leanna arrived on time at 4:30. They agreed to dinner at the villa for ten that evening.

Wine came from the cellars below. I would pay for this when I turned over the keys at the end of our stay. I chose a light sparkling wine to go with our sandwiches and assorted fruit. I also learned that the proprietor of the shop was related to the villa’s owner which made a comfortable arrangement.

After lunch, Pamela and Leanna went shopping and Ramda took me to a small university where he had made an appointment to attend a lecture on Islamic history. I felt I had come into an unbelievable lucky situation. I had fallen in with someone who had contacts and they coincided with many of the things I would need to know for my projected book. Later the two of us wandered through some streets described as housing the rich and famous of ten and twelve centuries ago.

The two women had returned before us and had bathed. The caterer had come in and cooked our dinner on site. The smell of roast lamb wafted through the house making our mouths water. The cook had been down to the cellar and chosen an appropriate wine. She had also brought a lager with her that was brewed nearby.

The caterer also provided someone to serve us. Never had I had a more relaxed evening. I was inveigled to tell about my life and what drove me to write. “My ex-wife will be joining us here next week. She will be here for two weeks. Well, not here because we’re moving on to Granada.”

“Won’t that be awkward, having your ex-wife here with lovely Pamela?”

“Not really Leanna. Janis is Pamela’s stepmother and they get along very well. Actually, I’m the odd person out.”

“John doesn’t have to be. It could be either Mom or me. We think so much of him either one of us would be glad to become closer to him than we are. Mom and I have talked much about it. We have decided between us that if John falls in love with me or Mom, the other will back off and not interfere.”

This enlightenment made me sharp with Pamela. “You’ve been drinking more than you should again, Pamela. I’m well able to find my own woman when I want one. I just might fall for Leanna.”

I knew this would hurt Pamela because she was jealous. Leanna protested, “Don’t put me into the middle of your love squabbles, although it might not be so bad having Johnny for a lover.”

I looked at Pamela. I could see I had hurt her more than I intended to, for there were tears in her eyes. I changed the subject fast before she was hurt more. “Johnny is it? I haven’t been called Johnny for years. I think I will start calling Pamela, Pam. Ramda, don’t you have a nickname?”

“Sure, most everyone calls me Ram. Leanna’s name is shortened and we call her Leah at home. Pour the wine and we will all drink to the new order of things.” Pam was a little more quiet than she had been, but didn’t withdraw from the conversation. It was two in the morning before we finished our dinner and our guests left for their hotel. I waited for Pam to open a discussion about what she had said at dinner concerning she and Janis. It bothered me that I had been discussed and the probable outcome would be me falling in love with one of them. That is why I spoke so sharply.

Ram and Leah were now our friends and we met, traveled the city, and socialized in the evening everyday. I called Janis and she said she could hardly wait to get to Spain and join us. We went over her travel plans again and two days later I met her at the train terminal. Ram was with me. Pam had another one of her queasy spells so had opted to stay at the villa. Leah had gone over to keep her company.

Ram looked at me when I introduced Janis. She was dressed in a traveling suit and appeared to be the most lovely woman who was stepping down from the train. While Janis and Pam were reconnecting at the villa, Ram said to me, “You’re a crazy man for letting that lovely lady get away from you. I haven’t said this before, but Pam is terribly in love with you as well. Why in God’s name can’t you choose one of them? When you do, I’m going to make a move on the other.”

“Make your choice now if you want. I’m just not husband material. They both know that. I’ve said it to them enough times.”

“Now I know you are certifiable. I’ve warned you. I’ll get to know Janis and then make my choice. Those are my intentions and you have been warned.” Janis became a part of our everyday activities. Ram gave her his full attention and she gloried in it.

I put off going to Granada as Ram found a reference to his family ancestry in some church records. The Islamic family of Qudos had been converted to Christianity in the year 1304. One member of the family would not convert and had been sentenced to death, which was carried out summarily.

Another written record showed that some members had joined the military and in later years fought alongside the crusaders when King Ferdinand vanquished the Moors and drove them out of the country. Ram now had what he had come to Spain for. He could recount some of his personal history when he lectured to his students.

For myself, I was beginning to gather enough facts for the start of a historical novel. I had been referred to a church in Granada where there were more records and accounts of happenings centuries ago. I had been able to engage an interpreter to read these records out loud for me. Pam was going to listen to the tapes I recorded and transcribe them for me at a later time.

Janis was fully adept at doing this as well. When we were almost ready to leave for Granada, Leah and Pam were out at one of their favorite shopping places. As they emerged, Pam stepped off the curb and into the path of a bicycle. She was bowled over. The worst injury was to her left foot where it had damage to the ligament.

Leah called the villa from the hospital to inform me what had happened. I went there immediately as I had to prove insurance. Pam was on crutches and could only hobble. When we all returned to the villa, a change of plans had to be made as Pam couldn’t travel very easily. It was decided that Janis and Ram would join me in Granada, while Leah stayed to see to the care of Pam. This was easily arranged with the owner of the villa as he hadn’t been able to secure another tenant.

I only had eleven days left of my summer sojourn in Spain. For the present, Ram was monopolizing Janis. The third night in Granada I discovered he was doing more than just monopolizing her time. Up until today, Ram and myself had spent our time in the church listening to my interpreter reading from the records. Janis was always with us. Three friends gaining knowledge is the way I felt.

Our socializing was done together the same way. We were in mutual agreement usually about when to retire for the night. The third night after arriving, Janis begged to retire early. Ram and myself had discussed the day’s happenings during dinner so we had little more to say to each other this particular evening.

Twenty minutes after Janis left us, Ram indicated he was of the same mind. I sat relaxed, sorting through the facts I had gathered for my upcoming story. I was getting sleepy myself, but I wanted to get one point straight that we had been told about today.

Would Ram remember? I went down the hall to his room, finding it unoccupied. Maybe he had stepped out into the moonlight for a smoke as he sometimes was known to do. I had to pass the room where Janis slept. I paused for a few minutes outside her curtain. There was no need to search for Ram now. I retraced my steps to my own room and made ready for bed.

“Did you sleep well last night, Janis? How about you Ram?” Before either could answer, my cell rang.

“John, I have to speak to mother.”

“Are you okay, Pam?”

“Just let me speak to Mom, please?”

Janis listened to Pam for a minute. A look of horror settled on her face and she got up and left the breakfast table, going into the next room. A half hour later she came out and said she had to return to Cordoba to be with Pamela.

I questioned why and Janis said she had promised Pam she wouldn’t divulge any information. Gentleman that Ram was, he offered to escort Janis there. I considered. I wanted to find out more about some individuals named in the church records. I could do without anyone’s help, although I enjoyed the camaraderie of having Ram and Janis with me. “Go Janis. If you need anything call me. Ram, let me know if I can be of help. Take care of my women. I treasure both of them.”

Ram was noncommittal and soon arrangements were made for Janis and him to leave. I buried myself in my quest and thought little of them during the day. I made a call in the evening, reaching Janis. “What’s going on?”

“I still can’t tell you. Ram and Leah are helping us make travel plans for going home. I feel so bad we are leaving you in the lurch, but it is best we not stay. You have your book to work on so although you may miss us, it will be no different than if you had come over here alone. John, one other thing and this is personal. I’ve decided that there isn’t ever going to be anything between you and I except as friends. Being friends is something I want to continue, but sometimes I don’t know if that is even possible.”

“I’m coming back to Cordoba. I’ll be there in a few hours.”

“It is too late for that, John. We are leaving in about twenty-five minutes. I’m sorry. I mean that. I really am so very sorry. I know you must think Pamela and I are treating you shabbily, but it is for the best. I don’t know how we can make it up to you. Someday I hope you will forgive us. Bye, John.” Janis was sobbing as she hung up.

I stared at the phone in my hand. What had just happened here? Most of all I felt cheated by Janis. I had tried to make amends for not paying attention to her back years ago. I wanted to provide a vacation such as I didn’t give her then. I certainly was out of the picture as far as resuming old intimacies because of Ram.

The sounds coming from her bedroom last night made me positive of that. I was a little pissed at Ram, my new friend, but he had warned me. He had better treat her right though, because I still had affection for Janis. If he did follow through, this would take away all of the guilt I still had for when Janis and I divorced.

Pamela, that was a different story. I was downright hurt. It was an ache that lay heavily in my chest. Here I had just started to care for her and now she was leaving without any explanation. Damn it, I did care for her! Especially when the vision of her naked form was with me every night before my eyes closed. I thought back over the month and more I had known her. Not once had she done anything before to hurt me like this. Could I have done something to drive her away? Not to my knowledge.

I was lonely in the morning--so alone! I went to the church and continued to gather information from the records. I found an electronics place where I could have my tapes copied onto CDs and I mailed the copies home. I would have them transcribed there. To be sure I had it all, I purchased copies of the records the interpreter was reading from. I was almost back now to the situation where I lived and worked alone before Pam showed up at my cabin. I would concentrate on a new book. That was my plan to get on with my life such as I had lived before.

I had to return to the states as soon as my month was up to take care of my last book that was getting ready for the publishers. Joy had disappeared from my life and I wondered if it would ever return. My editor had my manuscript waiting on my computer for corrections when I returned. The print date for the book had been moved and I had less time to complete everything before it went to press. This left little time to take care of my personal problems. I smiled thinking, always someone’s agenda before my own. Things settled down after a week of concentrating on the book.

Deciding I needed an explanation of some sort for Janis and Pam’s behavior, I started making phone calls. I was stymied at first. The phone wasn’t being picked up when I put in a call to Janis. I made another call to Rutland City offices and asked the lady on the switchboard to connect me to the Lister’s office. I asked for Janis Becker. “I’m sorry, Janis Becker has found other employment. She doesn’t work here anymore.”

“May I have her forwarding address?”

“I’m sorry we can’t give that out.”

“Thank you.”

I googled Leanna Qudos/ Buffalo. I found her name, so Leah at least lived there in the city anyway. I tried the online phone directory and dialed the number. “Leah, speaking.”

“Hi Leah.”

“This is Johnny isn’t it?”

“Yes. You left without saying good-bye. That was pretty inconsiderate of all of you wasn’t it?”

“It was and I’m sorry. We are all sorry. Janis and especially Pam. Ram said we shouldn’t do this to you, but Pam implored him not to get involved.”

“I suspected that. Let’s see, Janis must be living with Ram now, and I suspect Pam is living with you. Am I correct?”

“Yes, Pam is for a short time. I’m going to have to ask her to leave soon, though. Neither I nor Ram said anything, but I’m engaged to be married in about a month and my husband will be moving here with me. It is a mess and I feel so bad for Pam. Just when she thought her life was getting good.” Leah stopped before exclaiming, “I’m not saying anymore.”

“Okay Leah, I know you have promised Pam not to say anything. Let me ask you some questions about what you think. Do you think Pam would accept a marriage proposal from me?”

“I don’t think she can. She would feel she was cheating you.”

“Even if I knew beforehand what her condition is?”

“You know?”

“Not for sure, but pretty certain. Look, Pam would be taking a chance on me. I’ve always declared I wasn’t husband material and more importantly, I don’t know what kind of a father I would make. I’m always going to write and Janis knows what I am like when I’m in the middle of writing a book. Pam would have to take a chance on me as I would with her.”

“Johnny, I think you had better come out to Buffalo and ask her. I’ll have a place for you to sleep when you get here.”

“Expect me at eleven this evening.” I arrived about the time I said I would. Leah had a nice two room apartment and I found it easily. She hugged me when I entered.

“I’m so glad you are here and I hope you can work things out with Pam. At least you came. It was a shock to Pam when we went to the doctor to have her ankle examined and she had a queasy spell in his office. The doctor immediately diagnosed her as being pregnant.

“As you know, she called Janis and begged her to come back from Granada to help her decide what to do. Janis at first said you should be told about her condition. By this time Pam had made up her mind to get away from you, because it would complicate your life. That didn’t mean she doesn’t love you, for I know she does.

“Ram declared his love for Janis in front of us all. I think Janis was thinking some of herself more than of Pam at the time. She had just had a man declare his love for her and here was this other problem that could interfere. We invited Pam and Janis to return to the states with us, with Ram handling the arrangements to leave Spain.

“Pam has cried almost continually since we arrived here. She is pregnant and doesn’t want to abort the baby because the fetus wasn’t to blame for her mistake. She loves you so much, but from what you have said in the past, she knows there is no life for you two together. Is there?”

I slid in beside a sleeping Pamela before midnight. It didn’t wake her. That came at three in the morning.

I felt her wake and tense up when she realized there was a person in bed with her. She suddenly turned over and started pummeling me. She was screaming, “Get out, get out of this bed!”

The light came on showing Leah standing in the doorway laughing. “Pam you said you needed a man in the worst way. I provided one for you and here you are trying to beat him to death.”

Pam took time now to see who I was. “Johnny?”

“In the flesh and in your bed.” I glanced over at the still smiling Leah. “Go to bed, I’ll take it from here.” No we didn’t make love that night. We talked for maybe an hour before I fell asleep. Hey, I had just driven ten hours.

Leah asked Pam in the morning, “Did Johnny propose?”

“He tried to, but I wouldn’t let him. We have a lot more to talk about. Johnny, how did you find out I am pregnant?”

“I went over to visit Hugo one morning early. I was so damned hurt and mystified about your actions. He was feeding his sick wife breakfast as she was too weak to sit up. He told me to keep talking about what I knew about you. How you acted and even how you looked. Both listened as I explained it all from the time we met at the cabin. Once in awhile they would ask me a question. I talked for maybe an hour, telling them everything I could remember.

“At the end of that time he looked at Bea, his wife, saying, “That sounds like our granddaughter and the condition she had three years ago. She said she was always feeling queasy and that is the dead giveaway.”

“I agree. Should we tell him what we think?”

“Tell me. Is she sick or something?”

“No, I don’t think so. Maybe a little ashamed and probably a lot regretful. I would also say she loves you a lot, because she didn’t want to saddle you with another man’s child, so she bugged out on you. The girl is pregnant, I would almost guarantee.”

“Pam, I went bananas trying to think of where you had gone. There was no answer from Janis’ phone and I called the company and was told it wasn’t in service any longer. Her place of work said she had quit. This got me to thinking. The only friend I was aware of was Ram and he did make arrangements to get you home.”

“That is the reason why you thought of him?”

“That and other reasons. Pam, I heard Ram and Janis making love the last night they were with me in Granada. They had only known each other for a week, but apparently it was long enough to fall in love.”

“It is. They are so in love. At this point, Janis doesn’t even care if Ram asks her to marry him, but he has promised to. In the meantime they are making each other happy by living together.”

“Leah, how do you feel about this arrangement of your brother’s?”

“Great. I won’t have to worry about him any longer. Now if I can get rid of this pregnant babe you are holding in your arms so my own man can come and make love to me occasionally, I’ll be happy as well.”

“Pam, it looks as if the ball is in your court.”

“Johnny, I have treated you so terribly, I don’t see how you can want me. I don’t want to give up or destroy the baby either.”

“Is the baby Bob’s?”

“I think so, but I don’t know for sure. I was partying hard the weekend I think I became pregnant, but there were other couples there. I don’t think we mixed it up. I could ask.”

“No, when I marry you, I don’t want to know whose child it is. I want to think of the baby as yours and you two are a package deal. When the baby is born, I want it to be all mine. In return, I would promise to take a break from writing when you can show you need some attention.”

“John Booker Smith, I need some attention. Leah, please call Ram and Janis to come visit the newly engaged couple. Not too soon, as this might take awhile.”

Pam and I had seen each other almost daily until she returned to the States without me. I wasn’t aware of how hard I had fallen in love. I did though, before the sun was fully up in the morning.

“Johnny before we commit fully, can I explain some things about me?”

“I am fully committed to you, but go ahead.”

“Okay. Think about me. I’m twenty-two years old. At that age you had your first book published, married and divorced, and was working on your next book. Me, well I’ve been to college, but that was mostly because Mom pressured me. To pay her back, I made sure I did well. All of this time since my Dad died, she was watching out for me and not herself. This made me feel guilty. To escape the guilt, I went out and partied.

“I thought you two would reconnect at first. I could see you were able to be friends with Mom, but you didn’t indicate you wanted more. By this time I was falling for you myself, but you didn’t indicate you wanted to get closer to me either. I even set a trap for you by sleeping naked and uncovered every night. That didn’t work, I guess.

“When Mom came over to Spain and there was an immediate attraction between her and Ram, I was happy for two reasons. Mom deserved a new man in her life and I felt I could try so much harder to attract you to me. Can you believe how crushed I was when the doctor told me I was seven weeks pregnant? I had destroyed every chance of loving you before I had even met you. I just had to get away from you. That is when I convinced Mom, Ram and Leah to leave you in Spain.

“We came home and left you. I thought having a baby in the future would be enough, but all I could think about was you. I still can’t understand why you searched for me. I’m glad you did though.”

“Pam, the first couple of days after you left Spain, I tried to work the same as I had before. I was able to do it when Janis left, so why couldn’t I do the same now? I was hurt very much, but felt I could get back into the same mind-set I was in before you came into my life. I didn’t recognize it at the time, but in the back of my mind I had already built a future with you in my life.

“I wanted you beside me to discuss plots and do research. You could help me in so many ways. For you, I think you can be as good a writer as I am. I want to be beside you when you write your autograph in a copy of your first book.

“I have said so many times that I wasn’t husband material and ran away when it was suggested. Now I was worried I had done too good a job of it and would have to convince you I had changed in my thinking. Oh, that little trap you set for me by sleeping on top of the bed covers worked to perfection. I carry that image of you in my mind and always will.”

Aftermath

Two books came out of our trip to Spain. One from John Booker Smith with many battles described in it between the Muslim forces and the Christian crusaders. Gunpowder was introduced in battle by the Muslims and this determined the outcome in the early years of conflict. By the end of the fifteenth century the Spanish forces had acquired the art and capabilities of making heavy armaments. The Moors never regained a foothold on the Spanish side of the Mediterranean Sea again.

The other book came from Pamela Becker Smith and was a tragic love story detailing the love of a Moorish princess for a crusader who was charged with expelling her and her family from the only homeland they had known. This story ended with the crusader watching from the mountainside on the Rock. An angry ship’s captain, who years previously had seen his family slaughtered by Muslims, saw his chance and rammed the vessel the princess was in and both sank. This could again be laid at the feet of those who forget that religion should be one of tolerance and not of retribution.

I’m not as prolific with producing the number of books as I was. After all, I have two females that demand my attention now. Pam, of course, and sweet little Samantha. So goes life.

The End