I Think I'll Go Somewhere and Cry Myself To Sleep

I Think I’ll Go Somewhereand Cry Myself to Sleep

happyhugo

Romance

31,852 Words

copyright (C) 04/20/09

A Brattleboro, Vt Tale

Readers score  7.92

Man agrees to marry childhood friend as a favor.
Later they divorce and he loses his child.
He uses a song to get through his lonely nights.
Does he regain what he has lost?
Another love story set in Vermont.

Chapter One

You’ve all heard the song “I Think I’ll Go Somewhere and Cry Myself to Sleep” sung by Charlie Louvin. No? Well listen to it sometime. It’s a great song to hear when there is a sadness in your life. A few bottles of beer will bring you down into the mood. That’s the blue mood I’m talking about. I have had a lot of sadness in my life, most of it brought on by myself--I just didn’t know it at the time.

There was a builder in the nineteen fifties by the name of Heartwell who bought some land and constructed several houses just outside the central area in the town of Brattleboro, a town with a little over ten thousand inhabitants. The houses were pretty much all the same and eventually the street was named Heartwell Avenue.

The houses changed hands over time of course, and one was purchased by a family, Richard and Lulu Hart. They had one daughter named Cindy, who was eight years old.

A couple of months later the house two doors down was vacated due to the death of an elderly lady and it was bought by a family named Wells. Tom and Mary Wells had a son, Tom Jr., age nine.

The two families became friends and Mary and Lulu concentrated on making warm and welcome homes for their families. They compared parenting duties and household cleaning chores, doing the cooking and everything about running the home the best way possible.

Richard Hart was an insurance salesman, selling both accident and homeowners policies. Tom Sr. was employed at one of the banks in town as a teller and had been for many years. Richard, to all appearances, was more of a go-getter, and he liked to gamble on tips in the stock market. Tom Wells just kept plugging away at making his family comfortable and increasing his assets the good old way by saving. He was pretty astute at it too, as his monthly statements gave testimony.

Cindy and Tom Jr. were friends and did all the things that neighborhood kids were bound to do. Their mothers baby-sat for each other as the need warranted, so Cindy and Tom were often together. As they grew older they experienced a bunch of firsts.

There was the first “I’ll show you mine if you’ll show me yours” and the first kiss and the first grope and finally on the night of her Senior Prom, their loss of virginity to each other. Cindy was the instigator in all of these firsts with Tom following her lead. Tom was a little more shy and serious about life, but enjoyed these forays into the progression of gaining sexual knowledge immensely.

Tom was home from UVM for Cindy's  prom, and from then on there was no turning back. When he went back to school after the summer vacation he was a confirmed cock’s-man. Tom Sr., who had secured him a job in the bank for the summer, warned him that some day all this would catch up with him. Youth seems to be insulated from many of life’s problems and Tom Sr. demanded of Tom that he marry any girl if he got her in trouble. Not to worry, Tom was wise in the ways of protection.

At about the time of Cindy’s graduation, her father had been buying like crazy on margin in the market. “The only way to get rich,” he was often heard to brag. And he did have some excellent years. Good enough so that he had moved from the Heartwell subdivision and purchased a new house up above the Country Club in a new section called Hillwinds. The market always has its ups and downs and it just happened that when it came time for Cindy to further her education, the funds were not there for her.

Not only that, Richard was about to become homeless, the mortgage payments on his recently acquired house were relentless in coming due before the 10th of each month. Mary and Lulu, ever friends, eventually talked Tom Sr. into taking over the payments of the Richard Hart dwelling. Richard and Lulu moved back to the Heartwell subdivision and into Tom Sr.’s smaller house.

It was an even swap and a good deal, especially for the Wells’ family, as Tom Sr. received all of the equity that Richard had in the larger home. This was mostly because Richard was such a poor risk no one would lend him money and it was a good deal for him too, because there was some built-in equity in the smaller Wells’ house. This equity could be tapped to finance another go at the market. Tom Sr. shook his head at what Richard planned. It seemed that his friend never learned.

Cindy, subdued because of the loss of status including losing the exclusive Hillwinds address, approached Tom Sr. to help her secure a job in his bank. Cindy was almost as close to him as she was to her own father, and he gladly made sure that she was soon employed in a junior position with him as her boss.

Tom Jr., wise in the ways of banking from his first full-time summer job, convinced his father to co-sign for the down payment on a fixer-upper near the university in Burlington. He remodeled it into a bunkhouse where he rented rooms to fellow students during the school year. In the summer he let students stay rent free if they would continue the rehab work needed.

By the time Tom graduated, he was able to sell the house and declare that his college education only cost 25% of what it would have. Tom was into banking all the way. It had to be in his blood. On his first interview he took a model of what he had done while going to school with him--buying and rehabbing his own quarters to defray his school costs. The bank where his father and Cindy worked was impressed and made him an offer. However, Tom Jr. ended up across town in a different bank.

Cindy, denied school access because of her father’s lack of funds, took several job-related courses at the local community college and was able to advance along up the ladder in the bank as openings occurred. Her lifestyle showed her pretty much living for the moment, though, and she was a great party animal, especially on weekends.

The University of Vermont (UVM) was well-known as a party school and Tom kept up his end by adding to its reputation. However, he was never wild and had the responsibility of ownership so he never went overboard. Tom had his pick of female students, numerous and varied to keep his bed warm throughout the school year.

Cindy, working steady and with classes twice a week, reserved Sunday afternoon for reviewing her courses and studying. Friday and Saturday nights filled her need to party and she often ended up in someone’s bed on those occasions. Did she ever think about the boy next door she grew up with? Probably about as much as he thought of her, which was not often and never in the context of a lifelong mate.

Tom Jr.’s first job was to be a trainee for the chief Mortgage Loan Officer who would be retiring the first of the year. Young looking and barely twenty-three, some of the older department heads doubted anyone so young could handle the job without losing the bank’s money on some poor loans. Instead, Tom sniffed out a scam that a construction company was trying to pull and had their application turned down. Picked up by another bank, it became obvious how smart Tom was when the loan at the other bank went into default.

In another instance, an approval was made on the strength of his previous track record to let Tom go ahead and approve a loan for a start-up company. It proved to be one of the wisest loans made that year.

Tom and Cindy were dating others, but often ran into each other somewhere almost every weekend. It was like meeting your brother or sister and waving “Hi.” One night Cindy stopped by Tom’s table at a club and said, “You know we ought to get together and date. After all we kind of have dibs on each other since prom night. How about picking me up next Friday and we’ll go out?”

“Sure, it’ll be fun. I’d like to hear what’s going on in your life. Dad tells me about how good you are at your job. He really likes you.”

“Well I like him too. He has made my job a lot easier by mentoring me so I didn’t make too many mistakes when I first started. God, I’ve been doing the same thing for four years now. Hard to believe. So I’ll see you Friday night?”

“I’ll pick you up about seven and we’ll get something to eat.”

**********

Cindy looked like a million bucks when she came out of her parents’ house on Heartwell Avenue. For a minute the thought crossed my mind that here Cindy and I were at the age of twenty-three or four and were both still living with our folks.

Cindy slid into the car and reached over and gave me a peck on the cheek. I had heard that the food and service were excellent at The New England House so we were soon seated in the lounge with a drink in front of us, waiting for a table to become available.

Cindy was nervous, in fact more nervous and jumpy than I had ever seen her. Once I thought I even saw tears in her eyes. However she tried to be animated and interested in what my job entailed. She left most of the conversation in my hands and only asked a question when our talking thinned out. It was almost an hour before we were ushered to our seats, and I had the feeling that I had just been interviewed or evaluated--or both.

When we finished the bottle of wine, completed our dinner and came out to the car, I asked, “What would you like to do now? I have nothing planned so it is your call.”

“Can we go up to the Kiwanis shelter at the Living Memorial Park and continue talking? I have something I want to ask you.”

After we parked, we got out and Cindy led me to the little chapel just beyond the picnic shelter. Turning and facing me she took both of my hands in hers and said, “Tom, we’ve known each other since we were kids. You even took my cherry. We have always got along very well.” She paused, “Would you marry me?”

Thinking this must be a joke, I gave her a flip answer. “But Cindy, this is so sudden?” I made a question out of my statement, because there must be a reason behind what she had just asked me.

“I am serious! Come sit on the bench with me and I will tell you why I asked.”

I eventually got the whole story concerning the marriage proposal. “Tom, I like sex. I like a lot of sex and I think I am pretty good at giving and receiving. Lord knows I have had a lot of practice. I always knew there was a risk of getting pregnant. I can’t be on birth control pills because I can’t tolerate them. I am the one to always roll the condom on my date, drunk or sober. About a month ago this guy and I hooked up. I protected myself the same as always. In the morning the guy was gone, leaving me a note and a broken rubber. The note just said ‘oops.’

“I rushed home and took what measures I could to clean up and out. I checked the calendar and figured I was safe, being what day it was in my cycle.”

Cindy sat there with tears running down her face. “I didn’t know I was pregnant when I asked you for a date. I confirmed it this morning. What am I going to do?

“I don’t really mean you have to marry me and I guess I was looking for an easy solution to my problem. It just came out.”

“There is abortion you know. Have you thought about that? What about the man that made the baby? Why are you talking to me and not him?”

“Oh I can’t have an abortion. What if this little thing growing in me is like my cousin’s kids? They are adorable and I just love them. I couldn’t destroy them and I can’t destroy this fetus. The man that got me pregnant isn’t father material in any way, shape or form. I’d be in court looking for support until the baby was eighteen and with little chance of collecting.”

“So what do you want from me? I can’t believe you really thought I would marry you.” I stared at her. “So tell me what were you thinking? And another thing, what’s in it for me if I should? This is all supposition, of course.”

Cindy took a deep breath. “It was a shock to me when that test kit indicated I was pregnant, so I took today off from work just to think about what I was going to do.

“I still have to think about abortion. There is no good solution to my problem unless I just go ahead and be a single mother and that is going to hurt a lot of people. My folks, and your father who has put a lot of trust in me at work, and most of all the little one who doesn’t need to be born under the stigma of never knowing its father.

“I suppose I am selfish and scrambling to find a way to pass my mistake on to someone else. Then late this afternoon I remembered hearing your father say that if you ever got a girl knocked up that he would insist that you marry the girl. That made me think maybe I could trap you by having sex with you tonight.”

I couldn’t believe Cindy would do this to me or even consider it. I waited for her to continue.

“You’ve been my friend ever since we were kids and I couldn’t be that dishonest so I just decided to ask you to marry me. I thought of the night you took my cherry and how we dodged the bullet in not using any protection. If I had become pregnant we would have been married six years now. And I thought how nice it would be married to you.”

She knew I was going to argue against her. How could I help but shoot her down? “Cindy, people marry for love and I plan on doing that. I just haven’t found anyone yet. Sure I love you as a sister or as a friend, but as a wife--I don’t think so. Uh-huh, I can’t do it. What happens if I see someone tomorrow that is the love I have been searching for? Here I am trapped in a loveless marriage because I was too weak to resist your arguments.”

“Tom, I’ve thought of that and we could work out the details.”

God, she had an answer for everything. “Like how?”

“Well I haven’t got it all straight yet in my mind, but after or even before the wedding vows I thought that maybe just you and I could have a marriage contract that would spell out all the details. People do it for financial reasons before marriage. Couldn’t we make a contract to do the same with the baby as the prime consideration?”

“I still don’t know what is in this for me.”

“Two years is all that I ask you to stay with me. After that you can go your own way. I know that child support can be a problem, but I will promise you that I will never sue you for anything. If you are directed to pay in the divorce settlement, just don’t do it, and I won’t take you into court.”

“What happens Cindy, if you want out and I want you to stay with me? Maybe I will fall in love with you or more importantly the child. Will I have any rights? How am I going to feel if you are stepping out on me? I would want a sworn promise that for a period of time you would be true and faithful as any wife should. During that time you could never bring any humiliation down on me.”

“Oh Tom, you mean you might consider marrying me? Oh, God in heaven, thank you!”

“Whoa Cindy, we have a lot of details and ‘what ifs’ to work out. Let’s not get too far ahead with this. I’ve got an awful sinking feeling that one of us is going to get hurt if we go through with this. Why don’t I take you home and you work on what you think is fair and I’ll do the same. I’ll call you in the morning, okay?”

When Cindy offered up her lips to be kissed, I turned away. I didn’t want to be swayed by anything remotely sexual and Cindy was definitely a sexual person.

I didn’t get much sleep that night as you can imagine. Christ, why was I even considering this? I had to talk to someone. I came downstairs and found my dad drinking coffee while reading the paper. “Where’s Mom? I need to talk to you and I don’t want her to hear.”

“She’s out doing yard sales and won’t be back until she has the car full of junk.”

“That’s Mom. Good, she’ll be gone awhile and I need to talk to someone. I’ve got a problem Pop. Well actually Cindy Hart has a problem and she has asked me to help her. I need some advice on what to do.”

I told my father everything that Cindy and I had talked about. He was shaking his head in disbelief when I finished, saying how stupid all of this was. Then he cut right into the heart of the problem by asking me, “What do you want to do son?”

“Pop, I’d love to help her out, but I don’t think I love her more than I would a sister. I don’t want to screw my whole life up either, by tying myself down with a kid and a woman that is just grateful for something I did for her.”

“Son, I will say this. If you decide to go through with this, whatever Cindy agrees to, she will honor that agreement to the letter. I’ve known her better than I do about you and I’ve worked with her for five years. If she says she will do something, you can count on it being done. Ultimately, though, it will be your decision.”

I left home that morning and went to the Days Inn and rented a room. I called Cindy and told her where I was and if she was still of a mind to continue to discuss this, I would be in room thirty-seven. Twenty minutes later she knocked on the door and we proceeded to hammer out an agreement that would tie up my future life for at least two years and hers for five.

If I wanted to continue past that time, I was to give Cindy six months notice at any time of my intent to divorce her.

Cindy on her part would bind herself to me for five years, remaining true and faithful unless I had opted to divorce her under the agreed conditions before then.

My dad was the only one aware that there was anything strange about our marriage. He stood by me as a witness along with Cindy’s mom when we said our vows before the town clerk. As we left the office Cindy announced that a baby was on the way and it might be just a bit early.

The honeymoon consisted of a three-day trip up through the White Mountains and another three days along the coast of Maine. Mom wanted us to move in with them, but Cindy and I wanted to be by ourselves and Dad sided with us. We rented a small apartment off Western Avenue at Brookside, and set up housekeeping.

Our love life was something! We were both experienced lovers and we found many ways to please and surprise each other. Cindy returned to work, and as I was well able to support us on my salary, I suggested that Cindy put her wages aside in case this marriage was terminated. Cindy worked well beyond her eighth month before staying home to wait for the little girl to make her appearance.

Dad retired from his job at the bank after twenty-five years. He and Mom wanted to travel so they bought a small motor home and took off across country. Dad said his plans for the future were to find a retirement community and leave Vermont and probably he would be settling in Arizona. He suggested Cindy and I move into my old home while they were scouting a place to live, with the idea of buying it, if and when he and Mom found a place. That suited us just fine.

I guess Cindy and I were as happy as most couples. There wasn’t much passion to our life, but we certainly had a comfortable existence. Sex was good, and Cindy was grateful for my relieving her of the trauma that would have befallen her if I hadn’t stepped forward.

I was there by Cindy’s side when needed which included being there at the birth of our daughter, Aileen Ellen. When I first saw the little thing nursing at her mother’s breast, I knew that whatever sacrifice I had made it was well worth it.

I often caught Cindy watching me as I held Aileen and willingly took on some of the chores that a new baby demands. Eventually Cindy made the comment, “Tom, you care more for Aileen than you do me, don’t you?”

I thought about what she had said, “I don’t know how I feel. I am so glad we have this baby. When I think that we even mentioned the word abortion in our first conversation, I shudder. This little thing could have been thrown away. I love Aileen and I love you for bringing her into my life.”

Unconsciously, I suppose I didn’t say that I loved Cindy for herself, but that I did love her for what she had done.

Shortly before the two years that I had promised to stay married to Cindy were up, she asked me what my plans were. “Tom, time is up next week. I need to know if the plans need to be changed. Are you satisfied with the way things are? Do you want to continue being married to me? I just want to say I think I am fulfilling all of your needs and I am pretty happy the way things seem to be. I’d like to continue.”

God, I felt like I had just been kicked in the stomach when she brought this up. I couldn’t give up Aileen. It was unthinkable! I was actually physically sick, and excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I had composed myself, I returned saying, “I’m happy the way things are. Why don’t we go along like this for now? It is going to be three more years until you have to make the same determination. I’d like to definitely commit to you until that time, and then we will decide if we should continue for the rest of our lives. At this point, I’m betting on a life commitment.”

We resumed our sex life that night, with the mutual agreement that we would not have any children together unless we committed to a lifetime partnership. Lying next to Cindy in the after-glow of a very satisfying love session, I felt my life couldn’t be better. I drifted off to sleep with a smile on my face.

At four in the morning, I awoke with a heavy feeling in my chest. It was so bad I thought I was having a heart attack. When I decided it wasn’t anything physical, I lay there thinking of what had caused it. I came to the conclusion that at some time in the future I was going to experience a situation in my life that was going to be extremely painful. Premonition? It had to be.

Cindy returned to work. My mother-in-law, Lulu, came everyday to baby-sit Aileen. I worked only a couple of miles from home so almost every day I was at the house during my lunch hour to see and play with the baby. For all intents and purposes, my life should have been perfect and from the outside it looked like it. I had an attractive wife, a beautiful new child and a well paying job that I enjoyed.

I still had these heavy feelings in the dead of night. I finally started going up to the attic where I had my tape player set up. I had a library of a thousand songs on tape. All of my life I had loved country songs, especially the sad, cheating, lost love ones. I would sit there and put together a play-list of about ten songs and listen to the words of pain. Often tears would just pour down my face as the feelings spilled from the speakers. I guess it was the thought that somewhere, someone else had these sad, lonely feelings and had put them to song and it made me feel as if I had a friend out there.

Our neighborhood was changing. I came home to see Aileen one noon and Lulu said that I had some new neighbors moving in next door. She said she had seen a young couple, but no children. She said she had put together a cake for Cindy and I to take over that night to welcome them. Cindy did go, balancing the cake and Aileen, but I was unable to as I had a meeting that evening.

It was the next night that I got to hear all about our new neighbors. They were Gail and Steve Simpson--brother and sister. Steve had just come in to take over management of a department at the food warehouse on Putney Road. Gail was a first-year student at St. Michael’s College. Their mother and father had been killed in an auto accident when Gail was only fifteen and Steve had been her parent, so-to-speak, since that time.

I was informed that Friday night I was going to fire up the grill and we were going to have a cookout as Cindy was anxious for me to get acquainted with Steve and Gail. One thing the Simpsons had that the Wells family didn’t was a swimming pool. The previous owners had never been friendly so Cindy and I had never been asked to enjoy it.

It was a fun evening. I took to Steve right off as he was gregarious and articulate on any subject that was brought up. Sunday I made sure he was with me when I went for my morning golf game just down the road at the Country Club.

Gail was the typical college kid and I checked out her form as every man is bound to do. I decided that she still had about twenty pounds of baby fat and when she lost that she was really going to be something to look at.

We became fast friends, going out together, all of us when Gail was home from school and with just Steve when she was away. For a long while, more than a year actually, I never went up to the attic to listen to my sad songs. About six months before Cindy’s five years were up and it would be decision time--hers to decide to split and me to let her go, or me to propose and make Cindy my wife for real. My demons were back with a vengeance. Night after night I played those songs.

Six weeks before that date came up, I was transferred to a bank branch up in the western part of the state. It was only temporary as the previous manager had been fired. I would be staying there during the week as it was a long way to travel--not impossible but still a long commute.

Cindy never gave me any indication that we weren’t as close as ever. While away in Brandon, I picked out a beautiful diamond ring to give to Cindy when I proposed. If there hadn’t been an Aileen, I probably would not have even thought of marrying Cindy. We would have moved on, but I loved that baby so I couldn’t consider not being her father.

Unthinkingly, I left the ring in my bag which Cindy unpacked usually as soon as I went to clean up from my commute home. I was in the shower when I heard Cindy scream. I quickly stepped out and wrapped my robe around me. I met Cindy at the door. She was sobbing and shaking, holding the ring box in her hand.

“Oh God Tom, is this for me?” I thought these were tears of happiness on Cindy’s face.

“Yes, of course. Next week is the time we cement the rest of our life together. The three of us. You, me, and Aileen. Happy?”

Sobbing harder than ever, Cindy staggered and I thought she was going to faint. I half carried her and guiding her to the couch we sat down together. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“Tom, no, I can’t. There is someone else. When we had our talk, I was going to explain. I’ve loved this man for more than six months. He knows about our arrangement and promised to wait until I was free. That is next week. I have the divorce papers all made out and you will receive them when our agreement is up. I love this man, I mean I really love him.”

“I thought you agreed that you wouldn’t cheat? What happened to that little item? Did you forget that?”

“I haven’t cheated! How can you think that? The most we have ever done is hold hands and talk. The only way I have cheated was when I was with you. Every time you and I had sex lately I felt I was cheating on him, not you. I have never denied you and I have been as sexual as ever, you have to admit that.”

I knew Cindy told me the truth and I did believe her. I went on to what really concerned me. “What about Aileen? I’m her father.”

“You are not the father. She was fathered by somebody you never met.”

“Maybe I didn’t conceive her, but I saved her from being flushed down the drain somewhere. I married you to save her, not because I loved you. I think that makes her mine, doesn’t it?”

“In a way, I suppose. When we put together that agreement five years ago, you said you wouldn’t go into court for any reason. I think you should live up to your side of the bargain, just as I have lived up to mine.”

“Well, what about her then? Don’t you think she loves me? How is she going to feel? She must have some rights.”

“She is only four and a half. Even if you never see her again she will soon forget you. Her new father is a nice man and will love her as much as you do. Besides I’m not going to deny you parental rights to see her.”

“Who is this wonderful man you love so much that you are willing to take my child away from me?”

Cindy looked at me. I could tell she didn’t want to answer. Finally, “Steve Simpson. He is your friend and you know he will be good to Aileen.”

Christ! This woman not only took my daughter from me, but she was taking my best friend too. The friend I taught to hunt and the one I went to ball games with in Boston and the one I ate and drank with and the one I laughed and joked with. I thought as much of him as I did Cindy. Now I hated them both!

I went to my bag that Cindy was unpacking and picked it up and started to repack it. When I came to the ring I threw it at her. “Here you might as well have this. I did you a favor and you stole five years of my life. You stole the one precious thing I valued above all else. You took my best friend and he gets to keep my little girl. What more can you do to me?” I guess by this time Cindy realized how much she had hurt me, but didn’t know what to say in her own defense.

I returned to Brandon that night and spent the weekend listening to some of the loneliest music I had with me on tape. I just about wore the one that seemed the most apropos out, “I Think I’ll Go Somewhere and Cry Myself to Sleep.”

Monday I called the Brattleboro Post Office and asked that any mail that was addressed to me, personally, be held in General Delivery and I would pick it up. I sent Cindy a letter telling her to address her mail to me at General Delivery. I enclosed a check that would cover what I expected the household expenses to be until the divorce was final. I also asked her to be out of the house the day the divorce became final as I would have the repairs done that needed to upgrade the house so it was suitable to market. I just signed the letter, “Tom.”

Not once did I receive a return letter saying anything about being sorry! It seemed as if I was owed that much. And what about Steve? There was nothing from him either. Well screw them, I’d make my own way, but God how I missed my little girl. I wonder how she felt without her daddy anymore?

Chapter Two
Eight Years Later, Ohio

I came home to my little bungalow and found a beautiful lady sitting on the patio. Rising, she appraised me, “Hi Tom, Christ you’re still a hunk.”

It took me a few moments to place her. When she saw me looking her over, she did a little pirouette, and smiled when the look of recognition crossed my face. “Hi yourself, Gail. It has been awhile, so come on in and we’ll talk over what’s new in your life.”

The first question came from her as I poured fresh-made coffee. “So not married? People out here must be dumb or stupid or both. How come?”

“Just never could find a woman I could trust I guess. I’m pretty gun shy, so when a girl starts wanting commitment, she’s gone. It’s too bad, too, because I have gone out with some really nice women, so don’t blame the people around here. How about you? You married?”

“Was, not anymore though. I definitely wasn’t as selective as I should have been, so when it ended I even took my maiden name back. I look any prospects over very closely now, so you don’t have to worry about me.”

“So what are you doing out here? I know I was easy enough to find as I never tried to hide from anyone.”

“What am I doing out here? Can I wait awhile before I answer that. I will before I leave. How about taking me out to dinner? I’m hungry and there must be some place to eat in a city of this size.”

“Sure, there is a nice little restaurant not far from here. Let me freshen up and change and I’ll lead you to the most wonderful steak you have ever tasted.”

Our meal was all that I said it would be and Gail was an animated conversationalist. It was the best evening I had in a long time and I attributed it to my guest. When we returned home I asked Gail to stay the night. She raised an eyebrow when I invited her and I smiled back at her. Think what she wanted to, but I had too much of one Simpson to get in bed with this one. It was a crime for she was exceptionally lovely.

Gail asked how I came to be here in this small city. I said that I stayed in Vermont awhile after my divorce, but got the urge to live someplace else. I floated my resume throughout the banking circles and picked this one for no particular reason. There was nothing noteworthy about the city, but the people are friendly. I was just looking for something where I could get my head and heart healed and I found it here, I guess.

“I was kind of messed up over the divorce and I let myself go. When I moved here I was ready to turn my life around, so I started going to a gym and limiting my alcohol intake. I bought this little house with only two bedrooms. I’ve concentrated on keeping away from being trapped by another designing woman again. That hasn’t prevented me from dating though. I still have a few demons I am trying to slay, but basically I am happy with the way I live. What about you?”

“There is not much to tell about my life. You know I was going to school. I studied law and became one of those much maligned attorneys. I, like a damned fool, married a pretty boy lawyer and ended up divorced after I found out that he was tapping several of his clients. I got away before he was disbarred so I guess you can say it was a profitable transaction. For work, I teach a few courses at the community college and do a little pro bono at the court. It sounds as if my life is about as exciting as yours.”

“It sounds like it, doesn’t it?” I looked at the floor considering whether to ask the inevitable. The questions about the ‘why’ that Gail was here with me. I felt her answer was going to put me right back into the pain I had spent eight years trying to get rid of, but it had to be asked. “So, Gail why are you here? I hope Cindy doesn’t want something more from me. She took enough. Does she know you are here?”

“Tom, you aren’t going to like some of what I have to tell you and you aren’t going to like Cindy any better either. She does know I am here, but she is at rope’s end and you are her last resort.” When Gail said this I started to shake my head as I didn’t want to hear anymore.

“Damn it Tom, you listen to me! This is serious. You aren’t blameless in all of this. I’m going to tell you all about it. In fact it is probably more your fault than Cindy’s. You listen to me!”

Gail was angry. How could anyone blame me for what had happened to me so long ago. I guess Gail was going to tell me, though, and I gave in. “Okay, tell me.”

“It’s about time, now shut up and listen. This isn’t about Cindy or my brother. I don’t know the right or wrong of how they got together and fell in love. They did and they are still in love, and it makes me happy.

“This is about your daughter, Aileen. Cindy, Steve and I have all tried to reach her. Cindy and Steve have lost her and I am losing her too. You are the only one that can possibly turn her around so she doesn’t end up a druggy or pregnant or diseased or dead.”

Gail had my attention now.

“Aileen was such a sweet little girl until she was about seven-years-old. She missed you terribly, of course, but she seemed to get over you being gone. Then one day when she was seven she said she saw her Daddy. He was in their old home and he waved to her from the attic window. Of course this wasn’t true, because you weren’t there. Cindy and Steve argued with her and told her she shouldn’t make up stories, basically calling her a liar. Since that time she has been a brat--or worse.

“She is thirteen now, almost fourteen and totally out of control. She has been a ward of the court twice already. Cindy and Steve get her back, but it won’t be long until she is in serious trouble again. They won’t be able to get her again and she will disappear into the system and be lost to all of us.

“Nobody can believe she remembers you, but she still talks about her lost Daddy even now. Christ, you left when she was only four and a half.”

“Gail, Aileen didn’t lie. She did see me when she was seven. I went back once just because I had to see her. I asked the people who bought my house if I could go up into the attic and look down on my little girl who had been taken from me. I just wanted to see her for a few minutes. She looked up at me and I waved and turned and walked away from the window. It hurt me so much I never went back.”

Gail stared at me. “She really did see you? You waved and walked away?” I nodded. “God what a mess this is!” she said.

“Do you think that is what triggered the change in her behavior, Gail? God, that means I am responsible for her unhappy life these last few years. Do you think there is any hope for her?”

“There is always hope. She is a beautiful girl, but she does everything to look the worst she can just to bug her mother. She is sassy and disrespectful to her family and the teachers at school. She has never indicated she has any love for Steve. She is so smart it is easy for her to pull everybody’s chain.”

“How do you fit into this? You must have your own life to live?”

“Well, I am a part-time juvenile advocate for the court and I sometimes work with Aileen. I have been her confidant on several occasions. I can’t reveal what she said to me or what we have talked about. I do know that she is still looking for her long lost father.

“I’ve hesitated to look for you, fearing you may have gone downhill and I’d find you in the gutter somewhere. From what Cindy has told me about the breakup between you two, that could easily have happened. You know if it wasn’t for my brother it would have happened to Cindy.”

“How do you mean? What’s wrong with her? She got everything she wanted.”

“Yes, she got everything she wanted and she also got a heavy load of guilt. A load that is almost too much to bear. And damn you, that is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“I suppose I did want her to feel guilty, but I didn’t know that it would affect Aileen.”

“I suppose you wanted my brother to feel guilty too, didn’t you? He was your best friend for awhile. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

“Not when he takes your child away from you, it doesn’t.”

Gail was pretty exasperated at my reasoning as I could tell from her expressions. “Well, whatever. Are you going to see if we can save Aileen, or are you going to let her go? I honestly think it is in your hands and you are the only one to wake her up to what she is doing to herself.”

“Yes, of course I’ll try. I can leave my position here in capable hands for as long as it takes. When were you planning on going back to Vermont? I’ll go with you.”

This was what Gail wanted to hear. “I’ve got reservations for a return flight tomorrow. I knew I could count on you, so I made a reservation in your name too.”

I was beginning to like the way this woman from my past was getting things done.

My night was about the same as it always was and had been for years. I would go to sleep and then in the middle of the night I would wake with that terrible lonely feeling. The only way for me to get any more rest at all was to put some songs on and eventually fall asleep again. The CD was one that I had made of the song, “I Think I’ll Go Somewhere and Cry Myself to Sleep.” It was the only song and it had twenty-one repeats on the CD.

It was two-eleven when I put it on and started it playing. Sometime before the eighty minutes were up and it shut off, my bedroom door opened and Gail crawled into my bed. She put her arm over me and snuggled down and I went into dreamless sleep.

She had coffee made when I woke in the morning. As she poured the coffee she asked, “What’s with the song and the many repetitions? Do you play that every night?”

“Most nights I have to. It started the night I walked away from Cindy. I find that I have to pull my mood down into the lowest possible place and then I can go back to sleep. That song just gets me there the quickest. Lonesome is the name that I call my demon. I suppose it is a form of self flagellation and I hope someday it will go away. Let’s not talk about it, okay?”

After coffee I contacted the people I work with. I called them at home and said that I had an urgent family matter to attend to and would be gone for an unknown length of time. I would be in contact though, and would keep them abreast of my plans as they developed.

Our flight landed in Hartford, CT, in the early evening. Gail had left her car at the airport and we were soon headed to Brattleboro.

An hour later we pulled off I-91at exit 2. Gail said her home was in the same section of Hillwinds as that of her brother. We drove by my old home and by Cindy and Steve’s to a small house two driveways down.

Gail set about getting us an evening snack and then we sat down to decide what was the best way for me to meet Aileen. As confused and troubled as my daughter was, Gail thought that something dramatic was needed.

It was decided that I would visit the owners of my old home and ask if they would be kind enough to let me use their attic again. They were the same people I had asked six years ago and as they were pleasant then, I had no reason to doubt that they would grant my request.

Gail was going to have Aileen in the backyard near the pool where I had observed her so long ago. She said she had often seen my daughter looking up at the attic window and no more would have to be done than have Aileen in the yard. The time was set for tomorrow after school.

She said sometimes she drove my daughter across town to school, so Gail called and offered to give her a ride to and from school tomorrow. Gail was apparently Aileen’s only adult friend, and she was always pleased to have the chance to be with her.

I didn’t sleep much that night, but it wasn’t from loneliness. It was from extreme nervousness about tomorrow. Gail was nervous too, because when I was up for a drink of water, she asked me into her bedroom and we talked.

“When are you going to see Cindy and Steve? You know you aren’t going to get rid of that demon you speak about until you sit down with them and talk it out.

“I have to warn you that Cindy has aged more then her years warrant, because I think her guilt has been that heavy. She is my sister-in-law and I do love her as much as I love my brother. Except for my brother, her life has been pretty bleak over Aileen.

“I love my brother because he held me together when our parents were killed. Cindy has been a burden on him and some of that is your fault. I want these people I love to at least look forward to a brighter future.

“I know you feel it is all about Aileen, but it is also about Cindy and Steve and you too, as well. You are the key to this unhappy mess. A whole bunch of forgiveness among all of you would settle a lot of it. Can you at least consider a little charity towards them?”

I said I would think about it as I returned to my room.

                                                 **********

I was at the attic window when I saw Gail and Aileen emerge from the house next door. Gail sat Aileen down on a yard bench near the pool which was facing the end of the house where the attic window overlooked the two sitting there. I had not glimpsed Aileen for almost six years. She was smaller than I imagined she would be, and was adorned in some outrageous statement clothes.

I couldn’t hear what they were saying, and I assumed Gail and Aileen were talking about school events. Aileen’s eyes slowly drifted across the end of the house and lifted to the window where I was sitting. Aileen stared, started to cry and then crumpled backwards into Gail’s arms.

I rushed down the two flights of stairs and out along the pool fence to the entrance to the yard. I reached the two of them, just as Aileen was reviving from her faint. Gail stood and I replaced her on the bench, holding my little girl tightly in my arms.

When Aileen opened her eyes, I was there. “Daddy? Is it really you? You aren’t going to leave me alone again are you? If you go away will you take me with you?”

“Yes, Sweety, it’s me and I’m not going to leave you and if I do leave, you will go with me, or I won’t go. I promise!”

“I know it is really you. Nobody ever called me Sweety but you. Hold me like you did when I was a baby, please?” Aileen crawled into my arms and I sat there rocking her. Eventually she whispered, “Mommy said Steve was my Dad, but I knew he wasn’t and I knew you would come back for me someday and here you are. I’m so happy now. This is the happiest I’ve been in a long, long time.” Aileen snuggled into my arms even further and her arms clutched me as tight as she could.

After awhile I asked Aileen if she really remembered me. “Yes I do. I’ve always remembered my daddy. I even saw you once, but no one would believe me. You should have come and got me years ago.”

“I know Sweety, but sometimes grownups make mistakes and hurt somebody when they don’t mean to. When I found out how unhappy you were, I came to see you. Your Aunt Gail was the one that told me you were unhappy so I came to see if I could help make you happier. Your Aunt Gail is pretty nice isn’t she?”

“Yes she is. If I didn’t have her I would have killed myself, but I have you now and I won’t think about that anymore.”

“How would you like to spend the summer with me if I can get your Mom’s permission? School vacation starts in two weeks. Maybe we could travel some.”

“I don’t think they will, but will Mom and Steve let me go with you?”

“I don’t know, but if you ask them they might. If they won’t I will spend the summer right here near you and see you every day.”

“They never let me do anything I want to. Can’t you ask them?”

“I don’t think your Mom and I are very good friends so it would be better if you asked. If I tell you what to say and how to say it and how to do it, I don’t see how they can refuse to let you come with me.”

“Okay tell me what to say. I want to know right now.”

“You have to get ready first. Do you have a nice dress?” Aileen nodded. “Good! Go to your room and brush your hair and put your nice dress on. Do you have a very light pink lipstick?”

“Of course.”

“Fine, put that on and do you have some low heels to go with the dress? If you do, put them on. When you have made yourself up as nice as you can, then you are almost ready to ask your Mom the question.”

“This is like a game isn’t it? Doing all these things like I was a grownup?”

“No Sweety, this isn’t a game. You want something and I am showing you how to get it. To me this is serious business, because I want what you want and I want you with me. Do you understand?”

“I do, I guess. What should I say when I ask her?”

“First, you have to let your mother know that you are serious. So you stand proud and brave and walk up to her and say, “Mother I have an important question to ask you. My father is here and he would like to have me spend the summer with him. I would like to have your permission to go with him. May I please do that?”

“There are a few other things that will help. If Steve and your aunt are there, ignore them. This is because your business is totally with your mother. Now your mother might not want to answer right off and she will say something like, ‘I’ll have to think it over and will let you know.’ Don’t let her do this to you.

“You then say, ‘My father is waiting because he is anxious to have me with him. Can’t you please give me an answer now?’

“See, you are talking to her very seriously and she should give you an answer. Okay, if she won’t give you an answer, you say, ‘Would you like to discuss this with my father? He is available to talk to you now if you wish.’ Can you remember all of that? And don’t forget your Aunt Gail is right there behind you for moral support.”

“I can do all of that. Now kiss me Daddy just for luck.”

As soon as Aileen went into the house, Gail came out. “What’s going on? Aileen just went into her room. Steve is here and he wants to come out and speak to you.”

“No, have him stay in for a bit. I have given Aileen a chore to do. I wish you would go in too, and be there when she talks to Cindy because she needs the support. My little girl is a sweet thing isn’t she? I will talk with both Cindy and Steve after, maybe later tonight. I will just sit out here until Aileen comes out again.”

Aileen came tripping out almost an hour later, giggling and laughing, “I sure shocked Mom this time. You should have seen her face.”

“Okay, good, but what did you find out? Do you have permission to stay with me this summer?”

“Yes I do. We had a long talk and Mom is happy for me and she said she was glad you came to find me. I sure did shock her though when she saw me acting so grown-up.”

“I know you did, but remember the shock was just for the change in you. The question is, do you think she would have given her permission as quickly if you had gone in there in your gangsta clothes and outrageous makeup and told her you were going with me--or else? No way would she have done what you wanted. See, there is a right way and a wrong way to get what you want. You just did this the grown-up way and it paid off. I’m so proud of you for being brave.”

Aileen was all smiles. “Daddy, can I make some phone calls? I want to tell my friends my long, lost daddy is home and is going to take me with him for the summer. No one ever believed me when I said I had a lost father.”

Gail came out and sat down beside me. “Jesus Christ Tom, what are you, some kind of miracle worker? Aileen just went busting through the living room, grabbed Cindy and kissed her and hugged Steve. She has shown more affection in the last few minutes for them then I have ever seen. Steve said that was the first hug he ever received from her. They want you to stay for dinner tonight. Would you come in and see if you can reinstate some of the good feeling you lost years ago?”

“Okay, but only if you are there. You started all of this by coming after me and I’m as nervous as can be about meeting them after all this time.”

I slowly followed Gail into the house that I had been absent from for eight years. Steve met me at the door and shook my hand. “It’s good to see you Tom. It has been too long. Can I get you a beer?”

“A beer would be fine.” I looked around while Steve went into the kitchen where I could see Gail and Cindy preparing dinner. Cindy had a large montage pasted on one wall of my little girl, starting when she was a little baby until the present. Cindy, busy, passing the doorway, saw me studying the pictures and gave me a half smile and a little hand flutter. She kept working. I knew she was trying to postpone the inevitable of facing me by staying in the kitchen until dinner.

Steve came back with the beer and handed it to me. We both took a sip before we both started to speak at once. “God Tom, this is awkward for me. I’ve thought of you a million times and what I would say to you if we met again. Now that you are here I can’t think of a thing to say. This has to be said though, it never was my intention to hurt you in any way. You were the best friend I ever had and I never found one that could compare to you. So--I’m sorry and I’m so sorry that we got split apart. I hope we can regain some of the friendship we once had.”

“Thanks, Steve, that really means a lot to me. Now that I’m back in the picture, so to speak, maybe we can find a way to regain our friendship. I hope so because I’ve missed you too.”

There was another awkward pause that was thankfully interrupted by Aileen when she burst out of her room down the hall. Spotting me in the room with Steve she came running up to me and gave me a hug, spilling my beer. “Oops, clumsy me, I did it again. Be right back.” She ran into the kitchen returning with some paper towels and started wiping up. “I’m just so happy and excited, I’ve got my lost Daddy with me again. Call me Sweety. I love to hear you say it.”

“Okay Sweety. Sweety-Sweety-Sweety. How’s that? Enough?”

“No, never enough.” She looked over at Steve and then whispered to me, “I guess I’ve given Steve a bad time. He really has been good to me. If you couldn’t be married to Mom, I am glad he is. He always tries to be nice to me even when I’m being mean.”

“Sweety, don’t tell me, go tell Steve. I’m sure he would love to hear you say that to him.”

Aileen skipped over and embraced Steve. “Steve I’ve been awful mean to you sometimes and if Daddy can’t be married to Mom, I’m glad you have been my father. I’m sorry I’m so mean sometimes and I hope you will forgive me. I do love you, you know.”

Cindy and Gail had come in to tell us it was time to eat and heard the declaration from Aileen about loving Steve. Cindy just stood there looking at her daughter not believing what she was hearing. So startled, she burst out with, “Aileen, you never told Steve you loved him before. Do you really love him or are you saying that to impress Tom?”

“You mean impress my Daddy?”

I could see that this sweet little girl could be damned sharp with her mother.

“Steve is my father and of course I love him and there have been a million times when I wanted to hug him, but sometimes you act so jealous when he is nice to me so I didn’t dare.”

This was a rebuke of the cruelest sort and it was made to make Cindy look bad in our eyes. Suddenly all eyes were on me. I looked at Aileen as neutral as I could. “Aileen would you pass me the mashed potatoes and while you are doing that, would you ask yourself if what you just said hurt your mother’s feelings?” I put my hand out waiting for the dish with the potatoes.

Aileen’s hand was shaking when the dish was passed. I had called her Aileen and not the “Sweety” she so always wanted to hear from me. We continued with our meal in silence until Aileen spoke, “Mom, I am so used to saying mean things to you. It is a bad habit and I will try to break it and I’m sorry I said that. I promise I will be better from now on.”

This may have been the first apology that Cindy had ever heard from her daughter. I was seated by Aileen and I felt her hand steal its way into mine under the table. I squeezed it and shook it a little, letting her know that I very much approved of the promise she made to her mother.

Aileen and the two older women picked up the table. Now they really knew Aileen was trying to impress me. I just smiled when Gail looked at me and raised her eyebrows. That was a habit that I had seen Gail do several times. It made her look cute and friendly at the same time. Steve was telling me about what he still did at the warehouse and how much the job had evolved since we had last talked.

When the women finished in the kitchen, we all went into the living room. We all knew there was a lot to discuss, not just the past, but Aileen’s future as well, now that I had arrived on the scene. Cindy started the ball rolling by saying, “Tom, I’m glad you are here and not just for Aileen’s sake either. It has bothered Steve and I that we have been estranged for so many years. Where would you like to start so we can fix this rift that has happened between us? That is what we all want, isn’t it?”

“Of course I want to fix it. I think that it is going to take some time to talk out. I don’t want to lay a whole lot of blame on you and by the same token I don’t want to end up with it all either. Does Aileen know how we came to be married and the circumstances that brought about my leaving and Steve ending up being a father to her?”

“No, I haven’t told her because I think she is too young. I am going to tell her someday, though.”

I didn’t say anything for a minute. Then, “Well I disagree about that and I’ll tell you why. I think she is mature beyond her years as she has demonstrated to me tonight. There are some things we have to tell her that are going to be extremely unpleasant for her to hear and for us to examine. We are all going to have to explore some unpleasant things and not all of it is to my benefit either. I think if we start telling just little bits and pieces, she will miss why we did certain things at any particular time. Wouldn’t it be better to tell her all of it and she can question each of us separately later if she is confused?

“You and Steve have to work and Aileen has to go to school tomorrow. It’s the last day of the week. Why don’t we talk about it tomorrow night and discuss how things are going to work if she stays with me this summer? Am I still listed as her father or did Steve adopt her?”

“You are still listed as her father. Steve asked to adopt her, but you never returned the release. I sent it at the same time as the final divorce decree. In fact the only correspondence I’ve had from you was the letter and the check covering expenses. In the letter I sent with the official paperwork I asked you to contact me so I could explain and you totally ignored that too.” Cindy’s face told me she was getting angry. “The ring you threw at me was in there too. I took it out of the box so it would fit without making a big bump and sent it along.”

I stared at her, unbelieving.

“Oh my God, you never got it did you? That is why you probably have hated me all these years haven’t you? Oh I’m so sorry, Tom. God, I can’t believe this happened.” Tears were running down her face now and she came over and pulled me to my feet so she could hug me.

Steve came over and clasped my hand in both of his. “When we didn’t hear from you, we thought you were just so pissed at us that you just shut us out. That is why we waited so long to ask Gail if she would find you. I’m so sorry, Tom--and all these years, too. What a waste!”

We tried to figure out what had happened and I intended to ask at the post office, but there was no chance in hell of finding anything after eight years.

Aileen was crying, I guess because her mother was. I wanted for us to lighten up a little so I said, “Hey Sweety, I think we just got the shaft by the fickle finger of fate, and it has hurt you as much as it has us.”

“I know, I got fucked!” Immediately she realized what she had said and who she had said it to. Her face got red and she covered her face with her hands, waiting for the ax to fall.

I looked at Steve and then at Gail and then at Cindy. I thought for a minute that Cindy was going to chastise her daughter, but when she saw us grinning she burst out laughing. Then we all did, because what my little girl had said was so true.

The only thing that we settled the rest of the night was for Cindy to get out her copy of the divorce decree and the custody assignment. I wanted to see if anything in it would change how I felt about Cindy and how she had treated me. Gail was going to look it over to see if it was all right for me to have Aileen with me when we crossed several state lines heading for Ohio.

It was soon time to go to bed. Gail had me ensconced in her spare room. Aileen wanted to be in the same house with me, so it was settled that Gail and she would sleep in the same bed. Aileen announced that she had done this before when she got mad at her mother. Slowly I was coming to realize how much of a problem Aileen had been to Cindy and Steve.

I slept well and all through the night. I had no need of my crutch that had seen me through my blue nights. I woke to someone kissing my cheek and then my forehead. I opened my eyes with Aileen only inches from my face, staring at me. Then she smiled, “I came in to make sure you were real and still here.”

I reached up and caressed her cheek and ran my fingers through her hair. “I love you Sweety. We have so much lost time to make up. It is going to be so much fun getting to know each other. Did you know that you have a grandmother and grandfather out in Arizona? We are going to visit them in July. They haven’t seen you since you were an itty bitty baby.”

I shooed Aileen out so I could get cleaned up and dressed. Gail was up and we had breakfast. Aileen had to go home for the clothes for school. I was elected to give her a ride today.

When we went into Cindy’s house, Aileen invited me to see her room. It was a mess. “I’m going to come home from school today and clean it up. You know I realize that I haven’t been treating my mom very well. You must have been awful mad at her when you divorced and yet you treat her with respect. I want to be like you.”

“That is all part of growing up. The better you treat people you will find the better they treat you. Sometimes you forget and sometimes you don’t know any better. Those are times when you have to say you are sorry and apologize. I was so proud of you last night when you went to Steve and told him you loved him and how you said you were sorry to your Mom. That love came right back to you and it felt so good didn’t it?”

I changed the subject. “What are you wearing today? You have a lot of clothes here.”

“I don’t know. I liked how I looked in a dress last night. Do you think I should wear one today?”

“You did look very nice, in fact, you are beautiful. It’s Friday though, and in business and a lot of schools this is a dress down day. I would think jeans and a nice top, if you have one, would look nice.”

“Great, that’s what I wanted to wear.” Her face got kind of red when she said, “I don’t fill out a top much, that’s why I have been wearing those junky things. Some of the girls in my class already have boobs.”

“Hey, don’t worry about something like that. You’re young so you kind of have to look at your mother to guess what you will look like. Ninety percent of children grow to be shaped much like their mothers. That is if they eat sensibly and have the same life style. Of course, if you sit in front of the TV and eat chips all the time, you won’t. A person is pretty much in control of how they look. Now get dressed while I see if your Mom left any coffee.”

I went back to Gail’s house after dropping Aileen off at school. Gail was curious what the two of us talked about. I relayed the conversation just as close to word for word as I could remember. “You actually had a discussion about the size of her breasts? I don’t believe it. She has never said anything about her anatomy to me and we are real close. I bet Cindy never talked about her breasts with her either.”

I was laughing at the amazed look on Gail’s face. “Tom I don’t believe you are real. I hope you never turn your charm on me or you’ll have me in your bed making babies with you.”

“You may not know it, but I have already started to turn my charm on to you. And I have had a measure of success already. It seems like I felt someone crawl into bed with me and put her arms around me.”

“I didn’t think you knew. It felt like the thing to do at the time. You acted like a lost little boy and I wanted to comfort you.”

“Gail, I was lost. You don’t know how much I appreciated you doing that for me. It gave me the courage to come here when I didn’t know if I would be welcomed.”

“Damn it Tom, stop it. I’m supposed to be gun shy, remember?”

“Okay I’ll turn it off, but I reserve the right to turn it on when I’m ready to seduce you. Now, let’s change the subject. Did Cindy give you our divorce decree? I think it is time I read it.”

Gail handed it to me and I went into the dining room to read it. When it came to the part about splitting our assets Cindy declared that everything she had ever earned had been put aside into a separate account that she owned in her name. If and when she divorced, this account was to be used to provide for the support of the one daughter, Aileen. Cindy was in agreement with this and the court went along with it, but with the court stipulation that Cindy could return and sue for child support at anytime.

Again at the custody hearing, Cindy was very liberal stating that her ex-husband, Tom Wells Jr., the father of Aileen, would have the child one month a year and full access to the child when any conflicting schedules could be resolved to the satisfaction of both parties.

Christ, I had almost hated this woman and she had made sure I would have access to the one I loved from the very beginning. I had accused her of taking Aileen and that wasn’t her intent at all.

God, I’m glad I had a chance to read this before Cindy and I sat down to tell our daughter about our marriage. Gail saw me from the other room sitting with my head bowed. She came and put her hand on my shoulder, “Don’t beat yourself up too bad. You didn’t know.”

“That may be, but I could have known if I hadn’t been so damned stubborn and feeling so damned sorry for myself all these years. It’s a wonder that Cindy even let me in the house last night. I’ve thought all along that she owed me an apology and now I find I owe her the apology. I hope she will forgive me.”

“She will, or rather she has, you just don’t know it yet. You were ready to forgive her if the situation hadn’t changed and the blame did rest on her, weren’t you?”

“Yes, but it wasn’t until I saw Aileen. I’d forgive anybody anything just to have her near me again.”

My little conversation with Aileen came back to bite me again that evening. Steve insisted we all go out for dinner. Steve and I ordered steak, Gail ordered chicken and Cindy ordered fish. Aileen said, “I’ll have what Mom is having.”

Cindy, surprised, said, “Aileen, I thought you didn’t like fish? How come you ordered that?”

“Daddy said you were nice looking and if I ate what you ate I would be nice looking too.”

“I don’t remember saying that, Sweety.”

“Well maybe not, but that’s what you meant. You said ninety percent of daughters looked like their mothers and if I didn’t eat junk food I would look like her and Mom looks really nice.”

I laughed for there was logic in there somewhere. “I guess you were close enough with the truth that time. She is nice looking and I hope you do look like her.”

Steve and Gail were openly laughing at my expense. Gail said, “Aileen got in a compliment to Cindy and made you say what you thought of her mother. I think your daughter is way ahead of you. You’re going to have to be fast on your feet this summer.”

Aileen decided maybe she would like a hamburger instead of fish after this exchange.

We were finishing our meal when Aileen ducked behind my shoulder. I looked up and saw an oldish lady alone, being seated. I said, “Who’s the lady? You act afraid of her.”

Aileen said, “That’s Miss Tenny. She is the school teacher I’m going to have next year. She doesn’t like me because I bumped into her in the hall one time. I know she hates me and I’m dreading going into her class. It was an accident, I swear.” I looked at her because there had to be more. “Well maybe a bunch of us were blocking the hall and she couldn’t get through.” I waited again. “We kind of did it on purpose.”

“Is she a good teacher?”

“She is pretty strict and marks hard, but I guess you learn a lot from her.”

“So when you did that you weren’t planning ahead very well, were you?” Aileen shook her head. “So let’s sit here and figure out how you can get her on your side. You remember how we played your mother to get you permission to be with me this summer?” Aileen nodded. “Well we will use the same system to get her to remember you as a nice kid, not one of a bunch of juveniles in the hall, causing trouble.”

Cindy said, “You guys played me last night? When was that?”

Aileen, with a smirk on her face answered, “When Daddy asked me to get dressed up and act like a grown-up. It worked too.”

“Okay enough of that. When we get ready to leave, we will stop at Miss Tenny’s table and you say, ‘Hello Miss Tenny, my name is Aileen Wells and I am looking forward to being in your class next year. Everybody says you are a great teacher. Oh, this is my first Dad. He is from Ohio and I’m going to spend the summer with him. I haven’t seen him for years and I am so excited.’ And then I will say ‘Nice to meet you Miss Tenny. I’m excited to have a chance to get to know my daughter better’ and I’ll smile and say, ‘Come along Aileen and let Miss Tenny enjoy her meal. Bye now,’ and we will move along.

“Do you want to try this and then you won’t have to worry all summer about meeting her in class in the fall?”

“It worked on Mom and I bet it works on Miss Tenny too. Hurry up so we can do it.” Cindy and Gail were anxious to see this little skit played and wondered if it would work like I anticipated.

Things went about like I said they would and then Cindy improved on it by introducing herself and Steve as Aileen’s parents. When we got back to the house, Cindy said, “Damn it Tom, I thought Steve and I were pretty good parents. Where do you get all these skills at manipulating people? I think you must be a con man the way you get people to do the things you want them to and like you at the same time. Come on, tell us your secret.”

I considered if what I was going to tell them was a fit subject for Aileen’s ears and knowing what Cindy and I were going to reveal about our past, I went ahead. “Cindy, you know I like sex. When we divorced I swore off ever marrying again, but I have dated a lot. I found I only had two sources to fill my needs. One source was college age kids, most being young, inexperienced and unpredictable. The other group were women who were divorced like myself.

“Unlike me, most of the women I dated have kids, and if I wanted more than a one-night stand, I had to deal with a lot of kids who resented me for replacing their dad with their mother. Most of these kids had problems of one sort or another.

“I found that if I could solve a problem for them they didn’t resent me as much and I was welcomed to date their mother. When Aileen gets to my hometown she is going to hear me called Uncle Tom by a lot of kids, because I have dated a lot and have become Uncle Tom to many of these with broken homes.

“It has helped me garner a lot more business for my bank too. I met a woman at a charity event and we became interested in dating. She had an off/on again relationship with a man who fathered two of her three children. During one of the many periods that was off for them, we dated. She is a well-respected, big, black and beautiful leader in the black community. After that she started bringing bank business into my bank because the whole black community knows that I trust them and will be honest with them. I made friends with her kids and live-in companion and he and I often have a beer together.

“Those kids started calling me Uncle Tom of course, while I was dating their mother. The kids in the whole black community picked up on it thinking it was a big joke. The blacks have a degrading connotation of an Uncle Tom, but with me it is a sign of respect.

“At first the white community was hesitant to associate with the blacks when they came to me with their business, but over time it has drawn the whole town together. Bella Sweet, the woman I am talking about, was elected by a landslide to the town council two years ago. I like to think this was because I dated a person and was interested in her kids. Aileen will meet many of these kids when I take her home.”

I looked at Aileen. “Don’t think for a minute that all the kids that call me Uncle Tom have a mother that has dated me because they haven’t. I just like people and they like me.”

Steve spoke up, “It sounds like you lead an interesting and varied life.”

“I do and it is bound to get better now that I have Sweety. I flicked Gail a glance. “The nights do get a little rough for me sometimes, though.”

We were relaxed and we had promised to tell Aileen about her mother and me. Cindy said, “You tell it Tom, you seem to have a better way with words than I do. I’d just mess the whole thing up.”

“Okay here goes. Aileen, your Grandpa and Gram bought the house near where they live now. My folks, who you are going to meet next month, bought next door. This was when your mom was a little girl. She was eight and I was nine and we were playmates all through school. I was a year ahead of her and when I graduated I went to UVM to learn how to be a banker.

“When your mother’s Senior Prom came, I escorted her and later that night we made love. It was the first for both of us. We kind of loved each other, but more as friends than as true blue lovers. I went back to college and your mom went to work. When I finished school, and had my degree, I went to work in a different bank than where your mother still works.

“We both were heavy into the dating scene and it was quite awhile before your mother and I set up a date for a Friday night. When I arrived to pick her up she was very agitated and worried. We had both dated a lot of different people and we both were very careful to use protection, but accidents happen and your mom’s protection failed a little over a month before this night.”

Aileen looked at her mother. “You got knocked up didn’t you mom? Was that me?”

Cindy nodded as I said, “I think I prefer ‘with child’ than what you just said.”

I glossed over this topic quickly. “Anyway, your mom was in trouble and for various reasons she didn’t want to stay pregnant without a husband. As her friend we discussed her having an abortion. Neither of us could bear the thought of taking care of an accident that way. If that had taken place you wouldn’t be here today, and I wouldn’t have a Sweety to love. Your mom asked me to marry her to save her good name, and after thinking it over I said I would.

“Now remember your mom was my friend and had been for years and years. I still loved her as a friend and so in return for the marriage, your mother gave me everything that a good wife could to a loving husband. Sex and respect and support in any problems that developed, and she was by my side. We had a very comfortable relationship. It got much, much better when you were born. The nurse handed you to me and I held you even before your mother saw you. In my mind that made you mine, I guess. I was crazy in love with this little of bundle of joy.”

Gail spoke, “I never knew any of this. I thought you two split because you couldn’t live together.”

I said, “Wait Gail, I’ll explain how things got really complicated. I could have left the marriage at the end of two years under the agreement we had. I couldn’t leave my Sweety so I stayed for the next three years. The agreement was that Cindy could leave the marriage at the five-year mark. I never had any other idea but that we would continue together forever. I bought a ring to make your mom my wife on a more permanent basis, so I could have my little girl all my life. I was going to formally propose on the last day of the five years.

“Before I tell about the night we broke up, let me tell of another complication. Not too long after you were born, a couple named Simpson moved in next door. Steve, your present father, and I soon became best friends. Any spare time I wasn’t with you, he and I were off doing things like hunting, golfing and so forth. Gail, your aunt, I never did get to know too well because she was in college.

“The night of the breakup was hell for me. I was commuting from upstate. The ring I was going to propose to your mom with was in my bag and your mother found it. At first when I saw her crying, I thought it was because she was so happy. In a very few minutes it was clear that your mom loved another and was taking you from me. She was taking you with her to her new love. When I found out that she loved Steve, whom I thought was my best friend, I totally lost it.

“I accused her of tricking me into marriage, cheating on me and taking five years of my life and doing this while stealing my best friend and taking from me the one thing I held dear--that was you Sweety. Crazy with grief at my loss and what I felt was betrayal, I immediately packed and left. That was the last time I spoke to your mother until yesterday.

“I’ve spent eight years feeling sorry for myself. I can’t imagine anyone even now feeling any different then I did if they were in the same situation. Tell me Cindy, how would you feel if your best friend came along and stole Steve from you and took your child? This when you had been married several years and the future looked the brightest. Suddenly it was all gone. If you can imagine only a tenth of that, you will get some idea of how I felt.

“However, I want to put those thoughts behind me. I have been able to enjoy my life and what I’ve become. That’s just in the daytime. When night comes, those thoughts come back and drag me into a depth where I wouldn’t consign anyone. I have hopes that now I can have Aileen near me some of the time, these thoughts will disappear. I read the court papers today and I know your mother never intended to shut me out. She always wanted me to be a part of your life.”

I was about finished. My mind was reeling from the emotion I had lived in recalling all of these old feelings.

Cindy spoke, “What did we do wrong and how could we have made our dissolution easier for both of us?”

“I think if I had made my intent known to be really married to you earlier, it would have taken away the shock. On your part if when you first became attracted to Steve had said let’s talk about it and asked how are we going to resolve the situation with our baby? We then could have resolved our feelings, yours for Steve and mine for Aileen, without so much pain.”

Cindy started to say something, I held up my hand so I could finish my thought. “I can see why you wouldn’t and that is where our contract broke down.” I smiled, “How do you go to your husband and say to him, ‘I’m attracted to this man and I want to marry him.’ It’s a catch 22 isn’t it? Somehow we should have put that in our contract. If we had only let the other know, without holding it all in, I think I could have handled it better.

“At this moment I am glad your mother found someone to love like I never could have loved her. Steve is the luckiest of men. Someday I still have hopes of finding someone to love as deeply as their love is for each other.”

I stopped. I was all talked out. I looked at my Sweety, “I guess that is the story of my life with your Mom.”

Cindy got up and came over to me. “Tom, you told that beautifully and there isn’t a thing I’m going to change. It only emphasizes how deep your love is for Aileen. Her love for you must be as deep or she wouldn’t have caused Steve and I so much trouble these last few years. Let’s put the past behind us and all become the friends we were when we were growing up.”

“That’s the best solution to our situation that I can think of. You and I always did work well together until we got screwed up. We’ve had enough details brought out tonight. Can I ask for a blanket forgiveness for any pain I have caused you and I’d like to include Steve in that too.” By this time Cindy was hugging me and I was looking over her shoulder at Steve. He quickly jumped up and shook my hand.

“Thank God we’ve put all that behind us. It feels wonderful to have you for a friend again.”

Aileen was looking a little lost so her mother gave her a hug and a kiss. I sat down and my Sweety crawled into my lap and curled up, hugging me as tight as she could just like she did when she was four and a half.

All of this time Gail had been watching this develop and play itself out. “Party time!” she announced. “I’ve got just the thing. Let me run home and I’ll be right back. Cindy and Steve, why don’t you get us all drinks while I’m gone?”

Gail was soon back with a cake she had baked during the day and Cindy dug some ice cream out of the freezer. Aileen had hot cocoa, the women had gin and tonic, I stuck to a beer and Steve mixed himself a whiskey and soda.

Cindy said to Aileen, “You’re going away for the summer. Is there anything special you would like to do before you go? Kind of like a getting out of school present. If it isn’t too outrageous you can have it.”

I nearly cracked up when Aileen went into the same mode with her mother when she asked her if she could go with me for the summer. “Mother, I very much would like to have a pool party here before I leave. I would like to invite the kids I hang out with. If you think we need a chaperone, I will ask Aunt Gail and Daddy to be here. That way you can go out for the evening if you wish.”

Cindy looked askance at Steve and when she saw it was okay with him, she said, “Okay, you better ask them then. You pick the day. The pool will be open at six in the evening and you have to be out of the pool at eight-thirty. I’ll ask Tom and Gail to have some refreshments ready when you finish swimming. Steve and I would love to go out and know you were having fun here at home.”

“Oh, Mommy, I love you! You too Dad!”

Before the evening was over it was decided that this pool party would be on the following Saturday, a week from tomorrow. Plans were being made to update Aileen’s wardrobe. Cindy wanted her folks, Richard and Lulu Hart, to come to Sunday dinner to get reacquainted with me. Cindy cautioned me that her father usually got into Steve’s liquor cabinet pretty heavily. She told me that her father hadn’t changed much. He was still waiting to make the big killing in the market.

Lulu still worked. She saw the need for a stable income so she had worked for and received a license as a practical nurse and was employed at the Thompson House. She told Richard if he ever lost their home, she was leaving him. So far Richard had been able to make the mortgage payments and keep Lulu.

Aileen was promised she could sleep with Aunt Gail this one night so she could be in the same house again with me. Tomorrow night she would have to sleep at home. My smart-ass little girl came up with, “You know if I wiggle around and push Aunt Gail out of bed, she’ll have to go sleep with Daddy. Wouldn’t that be something?”

This was going too far for Cindy, “No more remarks like that out of you young lady or you’ll stay home tonight.”

Aileen was still smiling at the great idea she had when we left the house. I caught Gail looking at me and she raised that eyebrow that was beginning to turn me on.

I hadn’t unpacked my little CD player, but at two-thirty I needed it desperately. I set it up and started it playing softly, thinking it wouldn’t wake Gail and Aileen. Maybe fifteen minutes later I heard Aileen whispering to Gail. “What is the song Daddy is playing? It sounds so sad.”

“It is a sad song. The name of it is ‘I Think I’ll Go Somewhere and Cry Myself to Sleep’ and it plays over and over until he does go to sleep. I hoped he wouldn’t need it anymore when he got together with you. I’m sure he won’t after awhile. You are his good medicine.”

Richard and Lulu came to dinner. Richard was cool towards me, but Lulu who had been baby-sitting Aileen before the breakup, was thrilled to see me again. Richard wanted to know how my father liked retirement and I had to laugh. “He didn’t stay retired long. He went to work for a financial consultant, works his own hours and is happy for something to do. I go out every year and vacation with him and Mom. This year Aileen is going with me. They will be thrilled to see her. After all they are her grandparents.”

Richard looked at Cindy, “Do you think that it is wise letting her go way out there with him?”

“Yes I do, Dad. Aileen is his daughter and she deserves to spend the time with him. You should see them together. It makes my heart warm just to watch them.” She didn’t change his mind or his attitude towards me though.

Chapter Three

Aileen was beside herself the day of the pool party. Of course there was the excitement of only having three more days of school next week. Going away with one’s new father was more than exciting--it was unbelievable! The best thing was that Mom and Dad were going to meet her friends. The friends that they thought were so terrible. Just because some of them had been in trouble just like she had been, was no reason not to like them.

The kids all arrived in a bunch and filed into the backyard. Gail and I were there to greet them and we were introduced as chaperones. Aileen went in and brought Cindy and Steve out. They were all dressed up, ready to go out for the evening. No caution about ‘behaving yourselves’ or ‘be careful’ impressed the kids as much as the ‘have fun’ did as Cindy and Steve left.

Just after the kids went in to change, Gail appeared in a modest bikini. Her body was perfection and I told her so. She raised that eyebrow and said that she hadn’t changed her mind about me being a hunk, either.

The gang came out and jumped in the pool. Gail went in with them and stayed at the shallow end, splashing those that came near and generally having a good time. I happened to glance toward the entrance, surprised to see another little girl standing there acting like she wanted to come in, but too shy to attempt it. Finally Aileen spotted her and climbed out to go lead her in. She brought her over to me and introduced me to her.

“Daddy this is Lena, she is not part of the rest of us yet but she wants to be. She is my best friend ever, and I wanted her to come. Come on Lena, get changed and jump in the pool with us.”

“No, not right now, you go and play and maybe I’ll come in later. I’ll sit here and talk to your Dad, if he doesn’t mind.”

“Oh, I was getting lonely. Nobody was paying any attention to me. Besides you can tell me all of Sweety’s secrets. She must have a few.”

“Oh Daddy, you know I’d never keep any secrets from you. When we are together this summer I’ll tell you all about me and everything.” She spoke to Lena, “Talk to Daddy all you want, just don’t steal him.” She whirled and ran for the pool.

“So do you want to play twenty questions or do you want to tell me all about yourself?”

“I’ll tell you all about me if when the gang starts playing the game, you can figure out how I can win enough challenges to be made part of the gang. I have to win three times and I haven’t won any yet. I’m too small to join, but Aileen lets me hang around because she is my friend.”

“So what is this game?”

“You watch, pretty quick you will see one of them get out and wrap a towel around them. That means whoever it is won the challenge and the loser has to kiss butt. I have never had my butt kissed and I do want to so bad. Aileen isn’t going to be here this summer and I want some friends to hang with. Aileen told me this week that you can figure out everything.”

I didn’t know if I liked the sound of this game. The way Lena explained it, it was harmless enough, but in a couple of years it would be dangerous when the hormones started to kick in. Anyway I said I would watch and maybe I could come up with something.

I told Lena how much I loved Aileen as a baby and how much I missed her when her mother and I split up. Then how her Aunt Gail came out west and found me and how I just needed a little shove to come here and find her, and how happy we were to be together again.

Lena said her Dad had left her Mom sometimes, but everyone was so miserable he was only gone two weeks. Her Mom and Dad still fought a lot and they always made up, but he wasn’t living at home right now.

“So what is Aileen’s deepest, darkest secret?” I was probing, but I needed to know as much about my daughter as I could. “She said you could tell me everything.”

“She has one big secret that nobody knows, just me. The last time Aileen got in trouble and had to go live with somebody because the social worker said she had to, the boy that lived there made her have sex with him.” Lena was definitely uncomfortable with this subject. “Don’t tell her you found out she had sex, ’cause she’s afraid you would be mad at her and it wasn’t her fault, honest!”

“I never would be mad at her. Does Aileen’s mom know?”

“No, just me.”

“Do you know the boy’s name?”

“It’s Billy Parsons and he is a big bully.”

“Do you know what he did to her? Could you tell me?”

Lena nodded, “He held her and tried to do things, but it hurt and she screamed so loud he was afraid someone would hear her and he stopped. The next day he tried to do it again. He was going to do it some more but the social worker came and saved her by saying she could come home. I hope that never happens to me.”

“I hope not either. Does this Billy guy bother Aileen at school?”

“No, and that is because Aileen sticks so close to her friends. They kind of protect her even though they don’t know what he did to her. They just know she hates him. I wish there was some way to get even. I can’t say anything, ’cause I’m not in the gang. That’s why I want to get in the gang so bad so maybe we can fix him. I can’t do anything by myself, but they could.”

“Well maybe we can figure something out.” I then turned to the problem of Lena getting into the gang. “What are you good at doing? Something that you could beat them at. Acrobatics, or standing on one foot the longest, you know something like that. It doesn’t have to be something that would get you in trouble does it?”

“No it just has to be foolish. I know one thing, I can swim circles around Rob and he is the best swimmer in the gang. I swim at my aunt’s pool and none of the gang know about that, not even Aileen. I may have funny stubby looking legs, but that’s because they’re all muscle.”

“Okay when they get a little more tired from playing, we’ll figure out a challenge. Who do you want to challenge? Pick the easiest so you will be sure to win.”

“I will not win that way. I want it to be a real challenge so there is no doubt that I deserve to join. I’m going to pick Kathy, Rob and Aileen. Friend or not, she will try her best to beat me too. That is just the way she is.”

“Well I salute your confidence, but you may regret it later.”

While I was talking to Lena I had been watching this game of “Kiss My Butt” start and see some of the kids get their butts kissed--and see it turn around and those same kids have to kiss someone else's. I called Gail over and explained that Lena wanted to join in and asked if she would set up a challenge. I told her what was riding on the outcome for Lena, i.e., friends to hang with for the summer while Aileen was away.

Rob, who was kind of a leader and Aileen’s counterpart, offered to let Lena hang with them in Aileen’s place, but Lena said she wanted to try and earn her place the same as they did.

The rules were set. One-on-one, Lena would go from one end of the pool to the other and back without being caught and held. It had to be while the two were swimming, not in the shallow end where the taller ones could put their feet on the bottom. There was a ten minute time limit and if the time went over, then Lena had to concede and have to kiss butt.

Lena shucked her jeans and tee-shirt, showing she had on a bright blue one-piece spandex suit. No one that saw her would believe that her short arms and legs would be able to propel her barrel-shaped body through the water with any great efficiency.

Mindy was the biggest girl and she said, “I want my butt kissed by this little squirt. I challenge you.”

“You’re on. Meet you in the pool and then I’ll meet you on the bench where you can kiss my butt.” Aileen was worried that Lena was going to be humiliated and came over where I was sitting. “Daddy, you should have talked her out of this. She’ll never be a member this way. Why didn’t you stop her?”

“Sweety, she was so confident, I couldn’t say anything against her trying. Let’s see how she does, okay? Besides, have a little confidence in your friend. Go over and cheer her on.”

“Well I’m next, I’m going to let her win.”

“Don’t do it, as she is counting on you to try your hardest to prove that she has earned her place without favoritism.”

We were all surprised when Lena easily beat Mindy. Mindy was chagrined and claimed she had a hand on Lena, but she was too slippery. Then the gang took up the “Kiss My Butt” chant until Mindy planted a kiss on Lena’s towel covered butt.

Aileen was the third to challenge Lena. She gave it her best shot, but ended up the same as the previous two. Lena put away the next two also, but Rob, the best swimmer, caught her just she reached the edge of the pool. He was generous by saying, “You would have won if you hadn’t been so tired. I say she doesn’t have to kiss my butt.”

Lena went into a little vamp act, “Maybe I want to kiss your butt. Please assume the position.” This brought laughter and cheers to all except Lena who was hiding a red face.

I suggested all the kids get out of the pool because they were obviously tired. I put on some burgers and dogs. Gail brought out a huge potato salad, chips and soda.

The girls all went to Aileen’s room to change. When they came out they had all raided Aileen’s closet for dresses. Compared to how they were clothed when they arrived their appearance changed remarkably and for the better. They even found a dress for Lena that Aileen had worn three years ago and had never discarded.

Aileen told the whole gang (Lena included now) how she had conned her mother into agreeing to let her summer with me. She went on to tell of her fears of Miss Tenny and how I suggested she deal with what the gang had done to her in the hallway. “I feel good to be able to go into her class in the fall and not have her down on me.”

Rob said, “God, I wonder if that would work for me. She glares every time she sees me. I know she is laying for me, and can hardly wait to have me for a student.”

“Of course it will work. You may have to go a little further than Aileen did though. You are bound to run into her sometime this summer. When you see her, just step up and apologize, like ‘Miss Tenny, I’m sorry that my friends and I caused you trouble last year. I promise that we will not disrupt your class. We are hoping you will forgive what we did.’ By just stepping up to her and addressing her will show how serious you are and if you follow through she will give you a little extra help if you need it.

“By the way, I haven’t been around long enough to find out how you guys all came together. You must have some common thing that made you band together?”

Kathy spoke, “Well we have all been in trouble of some sort in school. Aileen has been the worst because she is the only one that had to go live away from home. She actually hit a teacher. Most of us have been expelled for fighting with other students or disrupting classes. Four of us have fathers or mothers that don’t live with us. We just get together and talk about how we would like things to be better for us. Not much hope, but we can dream.”

“Believe it or not, I know where you are coming from, although I didn’t get hit with those problems until I was in my twenties. It took me awhile to get straightened out. I found that sometimes you have to look outside your own family to see how life is larger than your own problems. Then you have to look for someone that can affect your own life for the better. That is why I suggested that Aileen introduce herself to Miss Tenny. Nothing but good can come from that.

“Look for someone that could use a lift up. There is a million opportunities to make yourself feel good.”

“I can’t think of a single one.” Rob was looking around him to see if the others could think of somebody to help.

“Oh come on, you must know someone. Some old or maybe a disabled person. Walk down a side street, you’ll see a lawn all overgrown. Ask yourself why? There must be a reason. Don’t go on by, go to the door and say you haven’t anything to do, and can you give the person that comes to the door a hand?

“In school next fall, look at the new teachers. They won’t be much older than the kids they are trying to teach and are uncertain how to keep discipline and teach too. Run interference for him or her a little bit by leaning on whoever is giving the most trouble. There is always one troublemaker in a class.” I looked at Aileen.

Aileen stood there shamed, for she probably had been the worst of the worst. “No more, right Sweety?” I smiled and she came and stood by me and I gave her a little squeeze.

“Then there are the bullies out there that need to be taught a lesson. I don’t mean for you to beat them up, because physical violence can really get you in trouble. The best way is to make them embarrassed about something--to humiliate them. Kids can always come up with some way to do that. They do it all the time to us adults. Just do it in a way that you don’t get in trouble.”

It was getting cool and so we moved the pool party inside. The kids all crowded into Aileen’s room and turned her music on. Gail and I moved into the kitchen away from the noise, so we could talk if we wanted to.

Gail built a pot of coffee. “So how did we do as chaperones? If they go home soon we can say nobody got hurt or got into trouble. That’s something anyway.”

“I would say you were a huge success. You got little Lena into the gang which she was dying to do and in such a way that she earned the others’ respect. You gave them all a lesson in life that will stick with them forever. I can just see these kids going all over town tomorrow looking for unmowed lawns. And you got across to Aileen that you knew she had been bad in school, but you forgave her. Me, well I just stood around and watched you perform. Were you always like this?”

“No, I don’t think so. It’s just that I spent so many nights alone. Then when I started dating again, I could see that sure I had a problem, but it often paled in comparison with what others had to deal with. Aileen at least had a father and mother who loved her which is a big thing to a little kid.

“Most of these kids I knew didn’t. They were missing one or the other and sometimes even then there wasn’t much love. They often got into trouble because the world was crapping on them and it seemed nobody cared. I decided maybe I cared a little and started to look for ways to make life a little easier for them even if they had to do it themselves. That’s what I was doing this afternoon.”

“Well it looks like a gift to me. Does it always work?”

“No it doesn’t. Sometimes the parent resent you helping and then you have to turn around and walk away. I have never tried to come between a parent and their kids. You can preach a little to kids but you can’t to the parents. That is why I try to show the way but never outright tell them what to do. They have to make up their own minds what is right.”

“Well whatever you do you are a master at it.” This was said as the kids’ rides started arriving, ending our day.

Cindy and Steve came home before Aileen went to bed. I think they came home early, curious to find out how the pool party went. Aileen thought that she had the best time ever until she said something about the “Kiss My Butt” contest. Thankfully Gail took over and explained it all and finally it was agreed there had been no harm in the game. I was tired so I excused myself and walked down to Gail’s house to go to bed. I showered and was just about to crawl between the sheets when the phone rang.

I thought the call might be important for Gail so I answered. It was Gail and she was upset. “Tom, Lena Lennox’s mother just called screaming. She wanted to talk to you. I guess this Kiss My Butt game is causing a lot of concern with those that hear about it. Anyway she wants you to call her right now. The game seemed so harmless when we played it. It looked like so much fun I almost wanted to join in and play too.”

“Well give me her number and I’ll call her.” With trepidation I placed the call. Damn, I thought, I hope this wasn’t going to be difficult.

“Mrs. Lennox, this is Tom Wells. I take it from what Gail Simpson tells me that you are upset about the pool party at Steve and Cindy Simpson’s house this afternoon. What would you like me to explain?”

“Damn you, I thought Aileen was a friend and a good girl and I could trust Lena with her. Now Lena let slip that you set it up so a whole lot of perverts could kiss her butt. I’m tempted to call the cops on you.”

“Mrs. Lennox, I know I am from out of town, but Gail lives right here. Do you think she would let anything take place that wasn’t right that would jeopardize her name? She is an officer of the court and is a child’s advocate. I assure you it was a harmless game.”

“What is this gang she said she joined? I don’t like gangs. I never even thought she knew any gang members. I know I don’t!”

“Well maybe you do, you just didn’t know who they were.” (I wasn’t going to name my daughter, but she was and I couldn’t deny the fact).

“Well I hate to have to, but I’m going to call Charlie and get him to straighten this out. He is a businessman and he knows people.”

“Charlie? You’re married to Charlie Lennox? I know him. Call him by all means. I’d love to see him again. You said you had to call him. Doesn’t he live with you?”

“No he doesn’t live with me. Not since I heard about him and his secretary, he doesn’t. I kicked him out for awhile.”

“Well, I don’t know anything about that. Could you stand to be with him long enough for me to take you both out to dinner and let me explain about the pool party?”

“Okay, I guess I could. I usually eat at Walkers on Main Street. Would that be alright?”

“Okay I’ll meet you there at seven tomorrow night. I’m sure I can explain everything, and we’ll take it from there. I promise you’ll feel differently about me before the evening is over. Bye for now.”

I turned around to hang up the phone and Gail was standing there. By the look on her face she had just heard me confirm a date with a woman that had been screaming at her a short while ago.

“Did you just do what I think you did?”

“What’s that?”

“You just made a date to take out Lena’s mom didn’t you? Damn you Tom, women need to be protected from you. You worm yourself into their hearts and then into their pants through your so-called good intentions with their kids. You’ll take her out, romance her and then you’ll get to screw her. You’re despicable, you know!” She turned and headed for her room.

I looked after her, puzzled. Then it came to me Gail was jealous. Just as I was falling asleep, Gail knocked loudly on my door, “Give me that damned CD and player. I think I need something tonight. You say it works, but I doubt it.”

I went to sleep with the song “I Think I’ll Go Somewhere and Cry Myself to Sleep” playing from Gail’s bedroom.

Sunday morning found me alone in the house with a note telling me to get my own breakfast and that she (Gail) would be gone all day. I drifted around town looking for a familiar face from eight years ago. I was almost up to the Baptist Church when services let out. Steve, Cindy and Aileen came out totally wrapped up in themselves. That lonely feeling hit me as I watched this perfectly complete family walk ahead of me and cross the street to their car.

I begged lunch from Lulu and Richard, but Richard was so unsociable I didn’t stay long. Lulu apologized and asked me to come back when Richard wasn’t home so she could tell me more about Cindy and Aileen. I promised I would tomorrow.

I went back to Gail’s to change. Gail had been back and I had missed her. I was going to tell her that I was meeting Mrs. Lennox for dinner and Charlie was going to be there to hear my explanation too. He was a good friend from years past so I didn’t anticipate any problems. But Gail wasn’t there to hear me. Too bad, maybe I should have explained last night.

Charlie and Mrs. Lennox were there waiting for me. Charlie was a short balding little man and I knew that Lena was his daughter, no doubt about that, for she was built just like him. Stella (Mrs. Lennox) was taller than Charlie and very, very attractive. Charlie hugged me, laughing happily. “Christ, Tom it’s good to see you. That loan you made set me up in business. When I think of how well I’m doing, I always think of you.”

“It’s good to see you too, Charlie. That loan I made was one of those a banker prays for everyday. It looks risky to others but is as solid as can be.”

“By the way, how come you made me that loan? None of the other banks would hardly listen to me. What decided you?”

“Well I checked and double-checked and I was still undecided. So I asked myself who I could ask about you, yourself. I sat down with your mom, and the next day I approved the loan. It wasn’t a what that decided me, it was a who.”

Over coffee and cheese cake I asked, “What’s up with you two? Stella tells me she kicked you out for messing with your secretary. She must be something.” Stella must have realized I had just paid her a compliment.

“She’s a whore and everybody knows it. She messes with all the help. I’ve heard her.”

“You’ve heard her flirt, that’s all. She is attractive and she flirts outrageously. She is a single mom and she does date quite a bit, but I’m not in the picture and never was and never want to be. I just want to keep an excellent secretary. What should I do Tom? Stella won’t believe me that nothing is going on.”

“Stella, do you want Charlie back?”

“Of course I do, but he can’t be screwing his secretary, especially that one.”

“There you go Charlie, you asked me. The secretary has to go. There are hundreds of secretaries out there. You can find another good one. Tell her why you are letting her go--because the boss’s wife heard her flirting with her husband. You might even be doing her a good turn.”

“I still don’t know if I can believe him.”

“Do what I did when I was uncertain. Visit his mother and ask her.” Even Stella had to laugh at this remark.

Stella and Charlie invited me to their home to hear about Lena and the pool party.

I told them the way I saw it and I laid it all out. Lena saw things unstable at home and another kid who was her friend was going away for the summer. A gang that was made up of troubled kids would have her if she could pass the initiation. They would be companions for Lena and protect her and just be there to hang with. On the surface this looked like a recipe for disaster.

I explained this whole initiation and how it worked and how harmless I felt it was. I did admit that in another year or two when hormones started to run rampart, it shouldn’t be looked on as so harmless.

“So what are you doing to keep Lena from going bad, not that she will, but that she might? Now this fine girl you have allowed Lena to associate with is probably the worst one in the gang. I have a rare chance to turn her around. I have been here only a few days and have made unbelievable progress I think, because kids deep down want to be good and not bad.

“Kids need attention, not when they are in trouble but when they are just being themselves. That is when they will absorb the values you want them to have. Have you been paying as much attention to Lena as you could have or have you been wrapped up in your own problems?”

Charlie looked at Stella. “Have we done that to Lena? Left her out there on her own, I mean?”

Stella didn’t say, but turned to me. “What can we do?”

“Well, Lena is in a gang now so what you do is a little more difficult than it was a short time ago. You now have to address the concerns of the other members of the gang too, because in their eyes, they are as one. You know the Three Musketeers syndrome. But it is a plus too, for if you work with them, you not only save Lena but you save someone else's kid too. It is a challenge worth taking. I wouldn’t hesitate in a minute to take it on.”

We sat around talking, and I saw how these two with their own serious problem could shift to thoughts of their daughter. I had a thought--why not get Gail involved. It was her town and maybe she could give some advice to Charlie and Stella from the court’s point of view. It wouldn’t do any harm and besides I wanted to show Gail I wasn’t in bed screwing Stella. I called her.

It was nearly nine-thirty when Gail pulled up out front. Stella met her at the door, “I want to apologize for screaming so at you last night. Tom explained it all and I agree with him that things were all okay at the party. In fact we are thinking of hosting a pool party of our own at my sister’s pool if she will let us. Let me introduce my husband Charlie. We were estranged until dinner tonight and then Tom straightened us out so we could concentrate on Lena. He sees things so clearly. If I didn’t have Charlie--well enough said.”

We sat in the living room. Charlie went upstairs to relieve himself and Stella was in the kitchen getting drinks. Gail said, “You knew Charlie was going to dinner with you last night, didn’t you?”

“Yep, and you were so mad. That shows when you eavesdrop you can draw the wrong conclusions. Besides I never screw a mother on the first date so it wouldn’t have happened. You know when two people are mad at each other, it’s a lot of fun to kiss and make up. When do you want to start doing that?”

“In your dreams, Buster!”

She didn’t sound like she meant it too seriously, but I guess if I wanted to kiss her I would have to work on it some. Now the question for me was “Did I really want to?” I know if I did, I was going to have to declare myself about how much commitment I wanted to make.

We left Charlie and Stella with Gail agreeing to keep in touch and showing up sometimes when Lena had the gang in tow. Aileen I knew, would appreciate this.

I followed Gail home and it was awkward at first when we got into the house. We discussed last evening. Gail apologized by saying, “I did jump to the wrong conclusion last night didn’t I? I’m sorry Tom. It’s just that you said you often bedded married women and then took care of their kids. When you said ‘It was a date and you would take it from there,’ I assumed the worst. Please forgive me.”

“Forgiven, and I was just as bad. I knew what you thought and I let you continue to believe it all night. I was hurt that you thought I was so insensitive to you and what you have done for me. Please forgive me?”

“Of course I do.” She stopped speaking, but I knew there was more to come. There was, “Is this where we kiss and make up?”

I didn’t hesitate, “I think we should try it and see if it works.” With that I reached for her. Her lips were as sweet as I had imagined they would be. At first soft little pecks that soon became more demanding as our passion mounted.

Finally she pulled away and sat across from me. “This complicates things doesn’t it? I want you more than I ever wanted a man before. But I don’t want to fall in love with you. You live halfway across the country, and I’m sure I’m not into long distance relationships. What shall I do?”

“We have two or three choices. I know I don’t want to stop and talk about them, but I guess we need to consider our options.”

“I don’t want to stop either.”

This was good to hear. “Option one and the easiest, is to go ahead and live for the moment and not think about the future. Option two, talk about the future to decide if we have one together and if it looks like a possibility, seal it with lovemaking. Option three, if there is no future abstain altogether.”

Gail sat across the room staring at me. “I vote for combining options one and two. The way I feel right now there are no other options.”

I followed her into the bathroom, thinking we might shower together. “No Tom, I am a little shy, please just pour us a drink and I’ll be out in a jiffy.”

I heard her turn the shower off and then go into her bedroom. I quickly stripped down and got into the steamy warm bathroom she had just vacated. When I was toweling off, she called to me from my room letting me know where she was.

“Come to me Tom and please be gentle. It has been more than two years since I have had a man. Treat me as if you were going to cherish me forever.” Gail lay there covered to the chin with a sheet.

“May I see you first before I turn out the light?” I said as I slowly pealed the cover down and off the bed. I then trickled my fingers up her body making sure I hit each erogenous zone. I caressed her cheek while leaning down to kiss her on the lips. As I turned out the light she was shivering with anticipation.

I awoke later during the night lying by her side. I listened to her breathing and knew by the rhythm that she was awake too. “What do you think about exploring option two? I would like to give it some serious thought.” I said this softly in case I was mistaken about her being awake.

Her breath caught momentarily. “That would be what comes next, I think. I would hate to think I was never going to have a night like this ever again.”

I was holding her hand as I drifted off to sleep again.

This was the last week of school--three days only. I signed for a Hertz rental and planned on having Aileen see some of the country on the three-day trip to Ohio. My itinerary was loosely put together, but I thought we might be on the road a week from today. Monday is always a good day to start something.

I did have to be in Ohio at least four working days before July first to close out the second quarter at the bank. This entailed mostly initialing final reports, and I also had to do the projections for the next quarter. Having Aileen there with me was going to complicate matters somewhat, but I had friends that were going to see to her welfare. Friends I knew I could trust.

That night I received a telephone call from the bank president and the board chairman on speaker phone. They informed me that I was needed desperately to put together paperwork as the decision had been made to merge with a national bank chain. Merge, hell, we had been bought out. A chill went down my spine.

I asked the question that everyone asks when their corporation merges. “How secure is my position?” The answer I got was not encouraging. I was informed not to worry and they would discuss it with me when I got to my office. Actually how the answer was phrased, I could read the writing on the wall.

The earliest I promised to be there was sometime late Thursday. They had to be satisfied with that. When I hung up I looked across at Gail. I quickly told her of how my plans had changed. “Damn, it looks like I’m going to have to crush Aileen with this change of plans. I’m going over and talk to Cindy and Steve. Do you want to come? I’m glad I’ve been taking Aileen to school and picking her up. I guess tomorrow morning is when I break the news to her.”

Steve and Cindy were really worried about how Aileen was going to take my having to go away without her. I was worried too until Gail, who was standing beside me as I was telling them said, “Tom will explain it in such a way that she will understand. You must remember that Aileen is growing up and getting more mature everyday.

“I’d like to have her down at my house at night and he can call her every night if he wants to. I’m going to have twin beds put in this week so she can have Lena or another friend stay over. I’ll keep her so busy that she won’t miss Tom so much.

“I talked to Stella Lennox today and we are working out a plan to give Aileen’s gang a lot of attention this summer to keep them from getting into trouble. If Aileen can’t go with Tom right now, that makes it all the better for them. I’m sure Tom will be back with us as soon as his schedule clears up.”

Cindy spoke up, “It looks as if you are acting like a mom to some of these kids. By the way, when are you going to start dating again? It’s been two years since you shucked that loser you were married to and your biological clock is ticking.”

“Oh, I’m not worried. I could do like Tom and find some divorced Dad with kids. I could be an Aunt Gail to a whole bunch of kids and when I found the right man I’d have a ready-made family.” She raised that eyebrow as she asked, “What do you think, Tom?”

“Gail, I think you would make a wonderful mom to any kid.” Why did that thought reach my lips to be expressed at this time?

Steve just had to say something. “Gail, why don’t you start dating Tom? Everything between you two seems to fit all the criteria. You’re divorced and he’s divorced and has a kid. Cindy here could even give you a testimonial on what kind of a husband he would make. The only thing that tipped her towards me was I got a little more of her love.” Steve realized what he said may have hurt. “Sorry Tom, I didn’t mean anything.”

“That’s okay Steve, I know you didn’t. Actually I am kind of proud that I made Cindy a good husband and in the same token Cindy was a good wife. I guess what I have been looking for all these years is someone that is as good as she was. Let’s just forget all that now and concentrate on Aileen. There is no way I can get out of this, but with you all helping by making sure that Aileen knows I am coming back, we will all be okay.”

Aileen was crushed when I told her what I had to do, but brightened when I told her what Lena’s mom and Aunt Gail had worked out. She wouldn’t have to leave her friends just when they had been making plans when school ended. Now they could do some of these things this summer. She also said that she knew she would miss her mom and Aunt Gail terribly and afraid I would think she was a big baby if she cried from missing them.

“Do you think I am a big baby if I cry from missing my Sweety?”

“You will really cry?” she asked. I nodded.

I spent Wednesday night sitting on the couch at Gail’s house with my Sweety curled in my arms sleeping. I heard Gail’s door open and the soft, sad sounds of my song, “I Think I’ll Go Somewhere and Cry Myself to Sleep” was playing in the background from her room. She came out in her robe and sat beside me and held my hand.

Gail drove me to Hartford in the morning to catch my flight. I was surprised to find that Cindy had taken the day off from work and was going with us. I sat in back with Aileen and we talked about what she was going to do this summer.

We were a little late and I barely made it on time. We just had a few minutes until I was called to board. Sweety clung to me as I promised over and over I would call every night.

I got an extra warm hug from Cindy. “You still are my best friend. There is no one in the world that would do for me what you did, and I truly am sorry that you had so much pain in our separation. I would come back to you in a minute if I didn’t have Steve.”

Gail was the last to come to me for a farewell. I knew she didn’t want too much show of affection so I lightly held her and kissed her cheek. “I’m so sorry we didn’t get to sit down and talk more. I truly enjoyed my stay with you and if you’ll have me maybe you will extend another invitation.”

“Anytime Tom, you’re always welcome. I would be put out if you didn’t stay with me. I might even inveigle you into taking me out like my brother suggested.”

Last boarding call and I only had time to hug my Sweety once more and then I was alone again.

Work was piled sky high when I went into the bank Friday morning. All of my co-workers were overjoyed at my return and started filling me in on the known facts, of which there were few, and tons of rumors. At eleven in the morning, I met with the board. Everything that had happened and what was going to happen, was explained. The way the bank was structured, those on the board (five) owned all but five percent of the bank stock.

All five owners were older than me and not one of their many offspring were trained in banking or were interested in keeping the bank in the family. This was the reason for the sale. The fourth largest consolidated bank in the US had tendered an offer, and after much negotiation, the offer had been accepted.

When we had worked through that there was silence as the chairman gathered himself to tell me what my situation was to be. “Tom, when we hired you to be our manager, it was just a sleepy small town bank. Now our patrons have increased one hundred and twenty-three percent. Most of the growth has been in the commercial division. This bank has one of the least default records in the state. So what you have done is work yourself out of a job because the bank was so attractive for a takeover.

“When you signed on you agreed to what was at the time a very liberal severance package if you were still with us after seven years. You have been here eight, so that goes into effect. The value of the bank you have created for us has led us to want to do more so we doubled your package.”

I was overwhelmed and started to express my appreciation. The chairman held up his hand stopping me from saying anything. “There is one other little item here that you might like to look at.”

The chairman handed me an envelope. When I opened it, it revealed that I owned three percent of the bank shares registered in my name. I wouldn’t own the shares long as they had to be sold along with the others, but it was an unbelievably generous gift. Christ, I was going to be rich!

Over a long lunch to celebrate, I revealed how my family life had changed and improved. I said this job termination couldn’t have come at a better time for me as I really wanted to reconnect with my daughter and now I could live near her. The board (owners) were happy for me when I said that I would most likely move back east. I did promise to stay until the new replacement was on board and comfortable with the bank regimen here.

The sale of the bank was to be final the last day of September (end of quarter). The new team was coming down from the new corporate headquarters on the last day of July. I might be out of my job by Labor Day depending on how swift the team was. It was going to be wrenching for me to leave as I had made a lot of friends here in this town. I was not going to look back, though, for I had so much to look forward to.

Aileen was waiting for my call. She said I was late until I reminded her of the one hour time difference. I heard all about her day and how much she missed me. It was ten days until the fourth of July when I had a long weekend. I said I would fly in to see her. I then asked if I could speak to Aunt Gail.

“Hi Gail. You haven’t forgotten me yet have you? I was wondering if you could pick me up at the airport sometime early on July fourth weekend. I’ve got four days and I’m missing Sweety and you. I really wanted to talk to you. Would you consider going out with me one night that weekend? There are some changes coming up here and I would like to discuss things with you. We mentioned option two that night that was so wonderful and fulfilling.”

I waited for an answer. “Oh Tom, yes of course I will. I do hope we can get closer--um--well--you know what I mean. Now your Sweety wants to say goodnight. Here she is.”

Chapter Four

My work days lengthened from my usual seven to ten and sometimes even eleven hours. I always made sure that I took a break to call Aileen. Gail and I said hi, but we didn’t mention our up-coming date. We did often talk about what Aileen and the gang were up to. She did say they were secretive about some of their activities but found out where Miss Tenny lived and the whole gang descended on her one Saturday morning asking if there were any chores they could do for her.

Gail said Miss Tenny was pretty hesitant at first, but succumbed when Aileen assured her that they were really serious. So Miss Tenny got her garage organized and her attic cleaned out. Randy went up a ladder and washed the window in a dormer that couldn’t be cleaned from the inside. God I was proud of my girl--and yes, proud of her gang too.

The weekend of the fourth came and I couldn’t get into Hartford so I flew into Manchester, NH, reaching there about three in the afternoon. It was a bit more difficult to reach Manchester for Gail to pick me up, but she assured me she didn’t mind. Aileen had been playing all morning in Lena’s aunt’s pool and was tired, so for the journey home she slept in the back seat of Gail’s car. This gave Gail and I a chance to talk.

“Gail, I know we don’t know each other that well yet. We have had about two weeks together and we have talked on the phone several times in the last ten days, but we were unable to say anything personal. I’ve just been informed that my position has been terminated. This means I am free to go anywhere I want to. I would like to come back to Brattleboro to watch my daughter grow into a young lady. It is not necessary, however, for I’ll always be a part of her life now.

“I am thirty-five, soon to be thirty-six, and my outlook on life has changed since I was reunited with Aileen. I would like to find someone to love and cherish and marry. I would very much like to seriously start dating you. I guess you know more about me than I do you. What I’m trying to say is, I would like to get to know you better.”

“Tom, I’d like to have you know me better too. I’ve had a few reservations about you, though. I know you’ve said that you have dated several women in the last few years. What concerns me is this, did you break off with one woman you dated before you took up with the next one or did you have two going at once?”

“I suppose you’ll have to trust me in this, but usually it was at least a year between women I slept with. The one exception was Bella Sweet, the black woman I dated. Bella found me after only four months, but she was the last woman I dated and that was more than a year ago.

“I haven’t found anyone since then that I was the least bit interested in until I met you and that, I think, is a tribute to you. Bella is a wonderful person and somehow before I return here to Vermont, I want you to meet her. She was a wonderful experience for me and when you do meet her, you will feel the same way.”

I wanted to get away from the subject of me and other women so I said, “You agreed to go out with me this weekend, do you have any place special you would like to go or something special you would like to do?”

“Yes, I’d like to go out to dinner and I anticipated that you would ask me, so I purchased tickets at the Weston Playhouse to see a play that played on Broadway. I was never able to see it in NY. Would that be okay?”

“I think you are going to be a fun date. It sounds like an enjoyable evening. On a different subject, what’s with the gang? You said they were being secretive about something. Tell me about it.”

“It may be nothing really, but several times at both Steve’s pool and Stella’s sister’s, I have seen all the gang with their heads together, and they shut up and act so innocent when I or Stella come near. Cindy hasn’t a clue either, because I have asked her. Another strange thing, Lena, small and the youngest of the bunch, has kind of taken over as leader. Even Aileen and Rob defer to her. It is a good thing she is in the gang and the focus has changed from pure trouble to helping others. She has the brain to be a strong leader. She appears to be capable of anything. Better good than evil!”

I think I’m going to have a talk with this little pint-sized emerging leader.

Steve and Cindy invited me and Gail in for the evening meal. I told them that I thought by the end of September I would be closing out my home in Ohio and moving back into town. I should be permanently located here by sometime in October. As I never was one to collect stuff, I’d just sell my furniture to a second-hand dealer and pack a few personal items and clothes. I would stay at a motel until I found something to settle into.

Steve raised an objection to this, saying I was more than welcome to stay with them, but I said I didn’t think it would look too good for them to have an ex-husband living with them. Steve said then how about moving into Gail’s house? I had stayed there before.

I said no, first of all I hadn’t been asked and second I wouldn’t anyway because I wouldn’t want to compromise her good name if all of a sudden she had a man living in her house. However, I would love it if I could feel welcome in either home. After all I had a daughter I wanted to stay close to. Sweety just twitched and smiled all over when I said this.

I announced that I had a date for tomorrow night and would be going with Gail to see a play in Weston. Sunday morning I promised to cook pancakes for breakfast so Sweety, Cindy and Steve were invited to pass judgment on my culinary skills. Monday I wanted to watch the fourth of July parade from the hospital grounds. Tuesday I had to fly back to Ohio and be there for work Wednesday morning.

I asked everyone what they had for vacation plans. Cindy and Steve said they were on vacation now and for the next two weeks. Gail had the third week of July. I said I had the third and fourth off if I wanted, but had considered not taking them which would move my termination up by that much time.

I had a thought. “Gail do you have any specific plans?” She didn’t, and was just going to lie around and soak up sun.

“Would you consider escorting Aileen out to visit me? If you could get the next week, we could fly out and visit my Mom and Dad. I want them to see Aileen and get to know her a little bit. It would be an all-expense paid vacation for you.”

“Well I don’t know, it might be possible. I’ll have to see about the second week. The first one is a definite possibility.”

“Oh Aunt Gail, please, I want to meet my Grampa and Grandma so badly, please, please.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll see what I can do.”

Cindy said, “I wish I could see Tom Sr. again. He was so much help to me when I first went into the bank. Now I have his old job. He always said I had it in me.”

“Call him. He would love to hear from you. I guess you didn’t know, but it was my talk with him about you that made me decide to marry you and save my Sweety. Pop is never judgmental, but he was so sad when we got divorced. He’d be so thrilled to hear from you. Really!”

“I am going to do that, I really am.”

I slept in Gail’s bed--but she wasn’t in it. She was in the other room where she and Sweety occupied the twin beds that Gail had put in so when Aileen stayed she could have a friend over. Damn!

Saturday morning I asked Aileen what the gang had been up to lately. She said they had reinforced her start of goodwill with Miss Tenny. They all found out that Miss Tenny wasn’t so bad after all, just strict in class. In fact she was going to show the girls how to make cookies on Tuesday. She had pointed out an elderly couple at the end of her street that needed a hand. The gang was going to be on the street all day. She was sorry she was going to miss being there, but they all understood her wanting to be with her father when he went to the airport.

The date with Gail was wonderful. We seemed to get along so well together. I knew that unless something happened to spoil my feelings, sometime soon I was going to propose to this woman. And the evening after we got home there was no tension between us at all. Gail invited me into her bed as she did before. There were no uncertainties this time. We were dating and it was certain we would be dating more in the future.

I did crawl into the other room and into one of the twin beds. It was a good thing for Aileen showed up at five-thirty to help prepare the breakfast I promised to cook. It was a thrill for me to be shaken and open my eyes to have my Sweety saying, “I love you daddy.” I suppose she was a little old for this, but it was something she had missed saying. I had missed it too. Oh well, we were making up for it now.

Steve had a barbecue that afternoon. Cindy sat down beside me telling me how much Aileen had changed since I had come back into her life. She said the best thing was how she treated Steve. It was like she really was his daughter now. Did I mind? No, of course not!

Lena plopped down beside me on Monday as I was waiting for the parade to begin. “Hi, how’s the gang going?” I asked.

“Good. We are having so much fun helping people. Did you notice we got rid of those old junky clothes. It’s jeans and red tops or shirts now. We all got hair cuts too. What do you think?”

“I think you guys are doing great and I hear you are kind of the leader now. How come?”

“I guess because I think things through to keep us busy and have fun. I don’t want to get into trouble either. Sometimes I have to get right up in one of their faces, but so far it works.”

“Some of the parents are a little concerned that you guys are planning something diabolical.”

“What’s that mean? I never heard that word before.”

“It means evil. This wouldn’t be something to do with Billy Parsons, would it?”

“It could be, but don’t worry. When it goes down Aileen won’t be involved.”

“Okay, but I worry about you guys, too. Would you like to share your plans with me?”

“No, I can’t as everybody is sworn to secrecy. I promise we won’t hurt him, just do as you said--humiliate him--and maybe blackmail him a little. Okay?”

“I guess. Just don’t get in trouble, please? I couldn’t stand it if you did.”

“We won’t ’cause I’m doing the planning. Trust me.”

Gail and Stella were climbing up the bank and Lena ran down and helped pull them up to where I was sitting. Stella and Lena went on looking for Charlie and Gail sat down beside me. “What was all of that about--you talking with Lena? Did she tell you what is going on? I wouldn’t be surprised if she did. Kids always talk to you.”

“I didn’t find out anything specific, but they are just trying to right a wrong that was done to someone. There is no way to stop it and somehow with Lena in charge, I’m not going to worry too much. The parade is about to start. Let’s enjoy it.”

Tuesday my flight left Manchester at noon. I hated leaving from there--Hartford was much more convenient. Now I had to wait to see if Gail would get the second week off so we could all fly to Arizona. Two days later when I was talking to Aileen, Gail said, “We’re coming, start preparing.”

Gail and Aileen arrived on the sixteenth of July. Gail said she had ten days, not the two weeks she was hoping for. She had to be in court on the twenty-seventh. Still time enough to do what was planned. In a spare minute when Aileen was out of the room, Gail handed me a well taped packet. “This is from Lena. She said to tell you everything was cool. What is this all about?”

“I have an idea and I probably can tell you after I get a chance to read the letter. It feels like there are some photographs in here too. We’ll see what happened as well as read about it.”

I was a little apprehensive about how what I was going to say next would be received. “We have a supper date tonight with a very good friend of mine. Bella Sweet, her live-in and kids are having us over and serving a gumbo that has come down through her family since slave days. Now the supper is going to be hot, I mean like pepper hot and it is going to be noisy, because everybody talks at once and some of it will be in a dialect you won't be familiar with, I guess you can say.

“It won’t be long before you will catch on and join in the fun. This is going to be a new experience so Sweety and you may be nervous. The middle boy, Jamal, belongs to a gang just like you do so why don’t you talk to him and see how much different and how much the same your gangs are.

“Gail, you’re going to find Bella somewhat intimidating at first, because she is a massive person. She is three inches taller than my five-foot-eleven and has a forty-four inch bust. The only reason I’m telling you this is because I didn’t want you to be too startled when you first meet her. I have told her you are a lawyer, so be prepared to get your brain picked. The woman has an insatiable thirst for knowledge. Her common-law husband Pete is a scientist in the energy field. You’ll like him too, I think, although you will laugh at how cowed he is by Bella. So this is no time to be bashful or shy even though their culture is a little different than ours.”

We turned into the street Bella lived on. I pointed out how well kept the houses and lawns were. I said that Bella ruled the whole section. I called her a beloved tyrant because everyone liked her. I didn’t knock, I just walked in. The three boys started a chant of “Uncle Tom, Uncle Tom” as I shook Pete’s hand and introduced Gail and Aileen. I pointed out the boys by name. The oldest Tyrone, the middle Jamal and little Billy. Billy was coal black which was several shades darker than the rest of the family. You knew he had a different father than Pete, but Pete had his arm around the little fellow as Billy clung to his leg.

Bella made her entrance from the kitchen and headed straight for Aileen. “You must be Sweety. Your daddy talks about you all the time. And you’re the cutest, prettiest little thing too. Come give Anty Bella a hug.” Aileen was about smothered in Bella’s massive chest.

Aileen surprised me by saying to her, “My daddy likes you an awful lot and he talks about you telling us how wonderful you are. He says you are big, black and beautiful. I think you are too.”

“Well, bless you child, you are well named, little Sweety.” Bella then turned to Gail, asking, “And who is this pretty lady?”

“This is Aileen’s aunt, Gail Simpson. She is just about my favorite person after Aileen.” I went on to explain how Gail had come for me when the family at home was so worried about Aileen and how I stayed at her house when I visited. “We had a date over the fourth and we came to the conclusion that we enjoyed each others company. We are dating for real now.”

Supper was fun! Bella warned us that the fish gumbo was hot and to take real small bites until our mouths became acclimated to the spicy hot portions. The kids enjoyed Aileen’s first expression when she took the first bite. She soon was taking the same mouthfuls as the rest and asked for seconds. It was good!

I got into a conversation with Pete while Bella and Gail cleaned up the dishes. Pete wanted to know what my plans for the future were and I admitted I didn’t have any, just that I would be going on to Vermont to be with my daughter. He kept telling me I would be sorely missed in this town. I said I know, but things never stay the same.

Bella came in and I had pretty much the same conversation with her that I had just had with Pete. I said we couldn’t stay late as we would soon be traveling to Arizona and I had some things to attend to. I got a big hug from Bella and just the body heat from this woman brought back fond memories of when I was her lover. How true, nothing stays the same!

When Gail and I came out, Sweety was surrounded by a whole raft of black kids. Uncle Tom, Uncle Tom, the chant went up and the kids followed us to the end of the street rapping on the side of the car. Sweety was glowing and said she had a lot of fun and the kids were pretty much the same as her gang, just louder and noisier.

Aileen was tired from her long day so she went to bed as I opened the packet of notes from Lena. Three photos were in there and fell out as I spread out the pages of writing. I glanced at them and decided to read the letter first before studying them closer.

The letter: Mr. Wells we got even with Billy Parsons about ten days ago when Aileen was taking you to the airport and she still don’t know what we did. I will explain what we did. I planned this when I found out that Miss Tenny lived one street over from Billy’s house and we did some work for some people named Allen that lived at the end of the street. We could go through the woods without being seen back of his garage. The day Miss Tenny made cookies we said we were working for the Allens in case somebody asked. Mindy got to know Billy and said she would let Billy kiss her if he ever was home alone. this is what we were waiting for and it happened the day Aileen wasn’t there. Mindy went to his house and we all followed her in and the guys all held him and made him take off his clothes and then we stood around and laughed at him. I had my camera and was going to take a picture of him naked, but Kathy said lets really fix him really good and she went and found some of his mom’s panties in the dirty clothes basket and made him hold them up and look at them and I took a picture and then we made him put them on and I took a picture. I said that if he bothered anymore girls we would catch him again and smear dog poop all over his face. He was real scared and even cried and begged us not to show anyone the pictures and he would be good. we fixed him good and I will send this to you when Aileen gives me your address.
Lena

The second letter: Mr. Wells I didn’t get your address and heard that Aileen’s ant was going to see you so am going to give these to her for you. The pictures are of billy and thats all there is as i took them off my computer. I am beginning to worry that maybe we went to far as Billy won’t come out of his house and a friend of his says he sits in his room all day and nobody knows what is wroing with him. Mindy is mad cause she kind of liked him even tho he tried to hurt Aileen. My gang is fighting and nobody is happy because some think we should have done more to Billy and some feel sorry for him. I don’t have control anymore and I kind of feel sorry for what we did myself so if you can tell me what to do would you call me when you read this. I don’t want to be diabolicul again
Lena

Christ, I had planted the idea in Lena’s mind and now things were all screwed up. Gail had been watching me and saw that what I read had not set well. “You want to tell me about it?” She was very curious. I handed the pictures over to her. It was pretty obvious what the boy was doing. “Why that little pervert. Who is he?”

“That’s the boy who attempted to rape my daughter and those are blackmail pictures after the gang got through getting even. Christ, what a mess! I put the idea in their heads too. I was just so mad when I was told about it. Here read the letters.”

“What did this boy do to her? When did it happen?” She never told me about anything like this. Does Cindy know? What’s his name anyway? How come you know about this and we didn’t?”

“Let me answer.  First, his name is Billy Parsons. His mother was the foster care person where Aileen stayed the last time the social services took her. The only one that knew was Lena and she told me at the pool party. The reason she wanted into the gang was to have the gang help her get even for Aileen.

“I said it was okay to get even, but there should be no physical violence, or they would be really in trouble if they got caught. I said the secret was not to get caught. I said humiliation was the most effective without violence. What did he do to Aileen?--He tried to penetrate her. That was one day. I don’t doubt that if the social worker hadn’t come and returned her to Cindy, he would have gone after and raped her.

“He deserved what he got I guess, but the kids in the gang are the victims here too. They are just a bunch of little vigilantes. I’m going to have to stop that, because some of them may get to like the power and really cause trouble. The others that regret what happened must be carrying a load of guilt.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know yet. It all started with Aileen so I guess I’ll have talk to her in the morning. Being a parent isn’t easy is it? Makes you wonder if a person wants to have kids.” I looked at Gail thinking of what I just said. “God, I don’t mean that. I want Sweety and if I ever get married I would like a couple more.”

Gail smiled at me and came over and sat on my lap and kissed me. “You’ll figure it out. You always do. Now big boy I want to hear more about you making love to Bella. She said you were the most kind and considerate lover she ever knew, except for Pete of course. She also said that sometimes she demanded more and you would rise to the occasion every time. She said when you got wild there was no one that could touch you in satisfying a woman and she prided herself on being quite a woman. So when am I going to see the wild side of you?”

“I’ve heard of men talking about their conquests, but I didn’t know women did. Bella and I are not something I am going to talk about with you so you’ll just have to imagine me in bed with that big beautiful black woman and hope someday you will replace her. If you do, I bet I can fulfill all of your fantasies. Now go to bed and let me think about my problem with the gang.”

Over breakfast I said to Aileen, “Sweety, Lena sent me a letter about something that happened between you and Billy Parsons when you had to stay at his house. Lena and your gang tried to get even but I think it got a little out of control and some of the guys in your gang are regretting what they did. I need to know all about what went on so I can fix it. Would you trust me enough to tell me about it, please?”

“I don’t want to Daddy. I try not to think about it and I don’t much anymore.”

“Would you rather tell Aunt Gail?”

“No, if I told anybody, I would tell you. What did the gang do to Billy anyway?”

I handed Aileen Lena’s letters and when she finished reading them, the photos of Billy with his mother’s panties.

“God, Billy must feel awful. And the gang saw him naked too?”

“Yes. And they made a lot of threats to him also. Do you want that?”

“No, I guess not. Oh I don’t know. I don’t even know how he felt about what he did to me.”

“If I got his phone number would you talk to him. See if he is sorry for what he did to you or if he is just sorry the gang caught him. I don’t want him to harm himself and that might happen. That would be terrible for the gang because they caused it directly.”

“I could talk to him I guess.”

I got the number from directory assistance and I dialed as Aileen held the phone waiting to speak. She was nervous and shaking when she said, “Hi Mrs. Parsons, may I speak with Billy please? This is Aileen Wells, you remember me?--I know he hasn’t been feeling well, but I have something to tell him that will make him feel better. Just tell him I really need to talk to him and it is very important--no, well would you ask him again? Tell him I’m calling from Ohio at my dad’s house and I’m on vacation and I must talk to him. Okay, I can wait a minute.” Aileen motioned for me and Gail to leave so we wouldn’t hear what she said to him.

Twenty minutes later she came into the kitchen and asked if she could call Lena. I said sure, but what about Billy? “I’ll tell you all about it after I talk to Lena, okay Dad?”

What could I say? It is a good thing this came up today and not tomorrow as we were flying out in the morning. It was a whole hour later when Sweety came bouncing into the kitchen again. “All fixed Daddy. Can I have those pictures? I promised Billy I would rip them up. Lena is going to get the gang to apologize to Billy. They have to because I forgave him and so that makes them wrong if they don’t. Mindy is going to be happy. She felt used when she trapped Billy. Rob is on Lena’s side so I’m sure things are going to be okay.”

“What about Billy? How could you forgive him after what he did to you?”

“Because he kept saying he was sorry and didn’t mean to hurt or scare me. I guess he saw a video at his friend’s house and the woman in it looked like she enjoyed it so he thought I would like it. I told him I didn’t and he kept saying he was sorry some more so I said I guessed I could forgive him.

“I also told him that the kids like me that had to come to his house were lonely and scared and he could help them by being friends with them--not picking on them like he did. I said that’s what our gang did when they were not getting even. He wanted to know how he could trust the gang to not do more mean things to him and I said that I was going to talk to Lena and if Mindy came to visit then things were all right.”

“So how did you straighten it out with Lena?”

“Oh I just told Lena that I forgave Billy and for the gang to go apologize to him. She is going to get Mindy to go over this afternoon. Lena will figure out how to get it all done. She’s smart.”

“Is that what you talked about for a whole hour?”

“No, I was telling her about Bella and last night. I told her you slept with this big black woman and she had huge boobs that almost suffocated me between them when she hugged me. And I said that you must be a fabulous lover because you made that woman make happy sounds all night long. Jamal said his mom almost kept you, but she said you wouldn’t put up with the things like Pete did so she took Pete back and let you go. And I told her how I played out in the street with all black kids and I was the only white kid. I said the black girls were really pretty, just different. And I told her how all the kids called you Uncle Tom because you slept with their moms. Lena wishes she was with me ’cause she thought I was having a wonderful vacation. That’s about all we talked about.”

Gail was cracking up and I had the feeling that there was a reputation of mine that was preceding me on my return to my hometown.

In the morning we all boarded the plane for Arizona. I was anxious to show off my daughter to my mom and pop. Aileen was excited to be finally going to meet some grandparents she had never seen. Cindy had over the years said some nice things to Gail about my father so she at least knew his character, if not in person.

Dad met us while we were waiting for our bags to come off the carousel. Aileen stayed a little behind and stared at Pop and came forward when I introduced her and said, “You look just like my daddy only a little older. I thought you would be awful old like my other Grampa.”

Pop said, “Well Aileen, I guess it must be the air out here, it keeps you young. Come on let’s get going because your Gram is waiting to meet you. Tom you should know that we finally moved out of that retirement community and bought a ranch house in a new area. Your mother keeps right on buying stuff and we needed more room. At least she gave up garage sales and is into antique shops now. She’s got enough room to keep her going for quite a spell.”

Mom and Dad were thrilled with their granddaughter. They had despaired of ever having any that they knew. They knew about Aileen of course, but Cindy and I had been so estranged, Dad had said that he and Mom should stay out of our lives until Aileen came of age. They knew that at that time I would make myself known to her and they would have a chance of knowing her too. That was all behind us now.

“Who knows Mom, you know it isn’t too late for me to find a woman to fall in love with and have a family. Wouldn’t you love to have about six little grand-kids to mother?”

Gail said, “Oh I pity the woman that marries you, if you expect to have six kids. God, that’s awful!”

“Well, I’d want at least two anyway.”

“Now you’re talking sensibly. Two is good and then if there was a mistake a third wouldn’t be too bad. You could handle that because I’ve seen you with kids and I’m impressed.” That eyebrow rose and it did to me what it always did.

Aileen said, “Hurry up Daddy and have some kids so I will have a baby to take care of and play with.”

“But Sweety, I have to find someone to love first. You got someone in mind?”

“You could marry Aunt Gail. She likes you and you could make her love you. I know you could.”

“I can’t because it would be too complicated.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well if I married your Aunt Gail, she not only would be your aunt, but also your mother. And if your aunt had kids that would mean they not only would be your sister or brother, but your cousins. And your Mom, Cindy, would be not only my ex-wife, but my sister-in-law and Steve, your father would be my brother-in-law so those two would be your aunt and uncle. Do you want to have a mixed-up family like that? As I say, it’s too complicated.”

“Oh, Daddy, you’re crazy. I still think Aunt Gail would make a great mom.”

Later I talked with my father and asked why he bought a larger house at his age. He said, “Your mother and I are getting along in years. When you called a month ago and said you had made up somewhat with Cindy and had a daughter you loved, we knew the rules didn’t allow us to have kids stay over where we lived.

“This house was a demo for the development you see around us. It wasn’t needed anymore and the construction company wanted it off their books, so I picked it up for a song. I told Mary she could furnish it anyway she wanted, and as you can see she is in heaven. We’ve only been in it a week. Just in time for you and Aileen to visit.”

“Pop, I gotta say I’m the most relaxed and happy I have been in a long time. Cindy and I are like we were before we were married--friends. And we have a daughter to share. And Steve, well he was my best friend before and he is again. Cindy and Steve love each other so much, it makes my heart ache to see them together. I really am happy for them.”

“What about Gail? It looks as though she is part of your life or is going to be.”

“We immediately became fond of one another, through Aileen of course. She and I are both divorced, so for the time being we are enjoying each other. We are talking and at present we are dating, or should say going to date exclusively. I have never met a woman I was this interested in before. I don’t think I was even this taken with Cindy and I was married to her. For the present we are taking our time to see where it leads, but it looks promising.”

I was silent for a minute. “By the way, Cindy is still very fond of you. Has she called you? She said she might. She has your old job at the bank you know.”

“No, I haven’t heard from her. Really, she worked herself up that high? I’m proud of her.”

“Aileen will be calling her tonight. Why don’t you say hi, and you can tell her what you think of our daughter. You know Aileen looks like a sweet little thing--and she is, but she has given Cindy a hard time these last few years. I think any other mother would have thrown up her hands and let her go totally bad. Cindy didn’t do that and they got me involved as a last resort.

“Aileen had remembered me which no one could understand because she was so young when I left. When she first saw me it was like a cog fitting into place and she is now a complete person. So she is not only close to me, but she is giving a child’s love to her mother and her stepfather. God, when I think of what would have happened if I hadn’t returned to claim her as my daughter, I shudder to think what her life would have become.”

“Son, it sounds as though there has been a cog that needed fitting into your life too. I’m happy for you.”

Pop and Mom took us up and out of the valley and we all went camping for a week in the mountains. Arizona was unbelievably hot in July, but in the up-lands the wind blew through the pines spreading their fragrance around us. We spent hours sitting around a campfire and spent the evenings relaxing. I had the best of it all with Sweety lying on a blanket next to me and Gail lying on the other side where I surreptitiously could hold her hand. It was one of the most pleasant times in my life. Too soon it was over, and I made a promise to Mom and Pop that we would do this again next year.

The day before our vacation was up, Pop asked me what my plans were now that I was unemployed or soon would be. I didn’t know what it would be, but it would be financial related.

It probably would not be in a bank, though, because there had been so many acquisitions and mergers in our industry, there were too many men with the same qualifications as I had to step into a like job. Pop gave me a fast rundown on what he did and it was interesting enough so I figured I would give it some thought in the future.

The last evening we were sitting around exclaiming what a wonderful time we all had, when Aileen asked me, “Daddy, did you ever call Grampa, Daddy? You call him Pop all the time.”

“I still call him Daddy sometimes when we are alone, but out in public I call him Pop as it doesn’t sound so childish. He calls me Tommy some times when we are alone and Tom in front of other people. You listen carefully when he says Tom, and you can hear him saying Tommy in his heart. When I call him Pop he really knows I’m saying Daddy. Do you understand that?”

“You mean if I called you Pop, you would know I was really saying Daddy?”

“That’s right. It’s the same way when I call you Aileen, you know I’m thinking of you as Sweety, and as you get older I’ll be calling you Aileen more, especially in front of other people, but in my heart, you’re always Sweety.”

“Okay, then I’m going to call you Pop--Pop. What should I call Steve though?”

“You’ll have to talk to him about that, yourself. I should think you would still call him Dad. That is a sign of respect and affection, and I know he likes it when you call him Dad. It makes him feel he is a big part of your life and you really love him and appreciate what he has done for you.”

Gail and Aileen stayed one night in Ohio and then I put them on a plane and they were gone again. My thoughts now were divided between Gail and Aileen with Gail getting the majority of loving thoughts. Still two months before I could move back to Vermont and be with her--I mean them. That is the way my thought process was going.

Gail removed the last uncertainty when two weeks later she called on a Thursday night, “Hi there big boy, I know a hot horny broad that is looking for some action and is going to be hanging around to get picked up at the airport tomorrow night about ten in the evening. You should check it out and maybe you will get lucky. Bye now.” That was it, she hung up.

I wanted more than just a message so I called her back and we talked for nearly two hours. She laughed and said just before she hung up, “We’ve got the verbal stuff out of the way tonight, which leaves us more time for the physical stuff. Go to bed and think of me. Goodnight my love.”

I did the same thing to her on Labor Day weekend. It wasn’t the same, but we didn’t mind. I asked Gail how she felt about fairs and she said she had never been to any. I suggested we go to the Guilford Fair on Labor Day and when Cindy and Steve found out they wanted to go too. Sweety--Aileen said she wanted to go, but as this was the last weekend before school started she had kind of promised to hang out with the gang.

“Invite them and I’ll give you enough money for rides and buy the dinners. Then we can all be together.”

Cindy and Steve were flabbergasted when the kids started showing up. There was no “Hi, Mr. Wells,” it was “Hi, Uncle Tom.” Gail was cracking up and I suspect she had something to do with it. I asked, but all I got was a raised eyebrow.

The only thing that gave me pause was a boy that was with Mindy. I asked Aileen if that was the same boy that bothered her. “Yes it is Pop, but we’re cool and Mindy likes him an awful lot and she won’t come if you won’t let him. You did say invite the gang and he is part of us now. Please let him come. I’ll tell you how he has changed sometime. He’s really okay, trust me.”

I still felt he was a little pervert, but I took him anyway on my daughter’s say-so. When we got to the fairground and parked, three cars of us, I asked how the kids wanted to work this about my handing out money. Lena said if I gave her the money she would see that everybody got rides and eats. I whispered to her that when she used it all to come see me to get more.

A couple of incidents made the day memorable. One, I had split my reserves into three envelopes because you never know about fairs. Gail had the second and Steve had the third. Before the rides were over I needed to get into the one that Gail had and shortly after noon, I had to ask Steve to return the one he had. Gail had peeked to see how much money was in hers.

“How come you knew how much money to bring?”

“Well, you see I knew this divorcee one time and she had three kids and they all had friends and I almost ran out of money. I just knew this gang was going to go through a lot.” I gave Gail an innocent little smile which got me a pinch on the butt when no one was looking.

And then there was Rob. Rob got sick and we all were concerned thinking contaminated food when he claimed it was something he ate. Then when Lena reeled off all he had eaten because she had doled out the money, we knew why he was sick.

And then there was Billy Parsons who caught me when I was coming out of the toilet. “Mr. Wells, I’m Billy Parsons and I want to tell you how sorry I am for what I did to Aileen. Lena said that it was you that made the gang stop blackmailing me. It was awful what they did to me and I guess I deserved it. I could have killed myself I was so ashamed. Lena said I should tell you that I am sorry and it was you that saved me.”

“Billy, I was awful mad when I found out what you did to my little girl. It really was a crime. I guess I even suggested to Lena to humiliate you some way to get even. I didn’t know the details or their plans and when I found out what they did, I knew I had, in my anger, gone too far. So I owe you an apology as well and I’m sorry you had to go through what they did to you.”

“Thank you Mr. Wells, and I will never think about doing anything like that again to anyone.”

I was hoping that Billy was honest with me. His demeanor suggested that he was.

On October sixth, I proposed to Gail and she readily accepted. Cindy and Steve were overjoyed and not surprised for they had seen how we looked at each other. They had news of their own as they were expecting a child in March of next year. Aileen sat down to see if what having a sister would do to complicate the family relationships. The last I knew she was still working on it.

Gail and I were married on the twenty-first of November, the day before Thanksgiving. Cindy was matron of honor and Steve stood with me. Aileen was the only bridesmaid we had and that was just right. Dad and Mom came from Arizona and spent a couple of weeks looking up old friends. Gail and I took a week’s cruise in the Caribbean.

Just before we left for the cruise I saw Gail and Aileen together and Gail gave something to Aileen. When we returned to our home and Gail and I were ready for bed, over the headboard my CD ‘I Think I’ll Go Somewhere and Cry Myself to Sleep’ was cemented onto a beautiful hardwood plaque.

A note on the side table said, “Pop, you can’t play this CD anymore, because you can’t be sad anymore. I picked a song for you to play and it tells you there is love all around you.” I looked at the CD and read the title. It was “Till All The Rivers Run Dry” by Don Williams. She signed the note, “Sweety,”


The End